Way OT - Sticky Situation, Need Opinions - Final Update Post 18/Pg 2

[thegrimdwarf]

Last Thursday, I received a call from a local store. The 15 YO child of a very close friend had been caught shoplifting, and was being held by store management. They were unable to contact my friend (she was at a work conference in another state, due home Friday afternoon - dad is not in the picture). The store management didn't want to involve the police, but also didn't want to just let him leave, so the boy gave them my number. They released him to me.

Long story short. I told the boy that he MUST fess up to his mom as soon as she got home. I have not heard from her. It's been over 4 days. I don't know if it's because he didn't tell her or, he told her and she's terribly embarrassed, or what.

So ------ what to do? I know it's not my business to get involved, but I worry that he didn't tell her. Should I call her? Wait and see? Just forget about it? What would you do?

 

[dawsonsplace92]

If he was my son I would want to know. So I would call her and ask her if he told her.

 

[Miss LD]

There's no harm in calling her.
Depending on your friendship, maybe there's another reason to call her (check up on her trip or something) and casually mention it?
Tough call. But, if I were her I would want to know, especially if my son hadn't told me, because it's something you want to discuss.

 

[Darcy03231]

I would definitely call her. Her son involved you in the first place by giving the store your number to come and get him. If it were my kid I would want to know.

 

[SILLYANDI]

I would call. If it were my kid I would want to find out, and not from the gossip around town. Imagine how hurt she would be if she heard from other ladies or kids that YOU knew and didn't tell her.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would've called her by now. Yes, you've got to check & see if he told her. My guess would be "no".

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Thanks, ladies. My gut said to call her, but I wanted to make sure. I'll give her a buzz tonight.

This stinks, lol.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I would call the mom...just tell her that you told the son he had to be honest with her, and you wanted to be sure they had spoken. You don't have to push it further than that if you don't want to.

 

[McKelly]

I would call her, because I bet he didn't tell her. Because if it was MY KID I would have already called YOU to express my gratitude for going to the store and picking up my delinquent, I mean kid.

 

[Khanji]

I'm a loss prevention/security officer in a large shopping mall. I can tell you from experieince he did not tell her. When a minor is released without prosecution there is absolutely no record of his act. So he has gotten away scot-free, and chances are he's already talked to his friends and he knows as long as he keeps his head down and mouth shut, he's in the clear.

If you talk to his mom, a way to avoid embarassment is to say "I know your son had something important to tell you, did he let you know what was going on?" If he did, she'll know, adn if she's embarrassed she'll change the subject. If not, you can gently tell her to ask her son what happened last week, and let her know you're there if she needs you.

My two cents!

 

[minkydog]

I'm a loss prevention/security officer in a large shopping mall. I can tell you from experieince he did not tell her. When a minor is released without prosecution there is absolutely no record of his act. So he has gotten away scot-free, and chances are he's already talked to his friends and he knows as long as he keeps his head down and mouth shut, he's in the clear.

If you talk to his mom, a way to avoid embarassment is to say "I know your son had something important to tell you, did he let you know what was going on?" If he did, she'll know, adn if she's embarrassed she'll change the subject. If not, you can gently tell her to ask her son what happened last week, and let her know you're there if she needs you.

My two cents!

Totally agree Good approach.

My son decided to try his hand at shop-lifting when he was about 15, too. Apparently this was something he & his friends bragged about at school (we found all that out later.) I knew something was up when I picked him up one afternoon and he came running out of the mall exit like his butt was on fire. I found the "evidence" in his shopping bag--a small ring, for which he had a receipt, and a necklace made out of skeleton heads He told me it was a "bonus" for buying the little ring. Soooo, I called the store. Indeed, they did not give away "bonus" skeleton necklaces.

Do I seem like I just fell off a turnip truck?

We turned DS around and took him right back to the mall to face the music. He didn't want to get out of the car, but we convinced him that nothing good was going to happen in his life until he made this right. He paid for the necklace and the manager agree not to prosecute. He was also banned from the store.

To my knowledge, that was the last time it happened. From that point on we kept DS on a pretty short leash.

 

[disykat]

My sister got in trouble as a teen and was told to tell her parents. She did - when she was 40!

I'd call your friend and ask if he told her what happened.

 

[nyyankeegirl]

You may have called her by now, so tell us what happened??

 

[Snow Shoe]

Remember that it takes a village to raise a child!

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

I would definitely call her. Her son involved you in the first place by giving the store your number to come and get him. If it were my kid I would want to know.

Completely agree!

 

[disneybound31]

What's happening, OP?

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Well, I called her last night at 8, got the machine, left a message. Haven't heard back from her (8:30 AM local time). I'm thinking her son may have gotten the message and deleted it, since I said it was pretty important and she could call whenever she got in, I'd be up. She's not the type to not return my calls, let alone an important one.

So, I'll try her at the office later today, and will update!

 

[thegrimdwarf]

I just spoke with her a little while ago. As I'd feared, the phone message was deleted when my friend got home last night.

He hadn't told her. So I just ruined her day. She's fuming, and is working on rescheduling her afternoon meetings and go meet him as he exits school. I'm thinking his day...week...month is going to be ruined, lol. My friend is not one to 'not make a scene', so that boy is going to wish he could crawl into a hole.

Anyway - we're good. She was glad I called. Thanks to all of you who offered advice!

 

[Darcy03231]

I wouldn't want to be him when his mama gets a hold of him!!! What he did was bad enough but not telling her when she got home was just as bad in my book. What did he think? that you were never going to talk to her again and wouldn't bring it up? Not too bright on his part.

 

[kim929]

Would love to be at the school when she meets him