Was it something I did?!?

[kimmar067]

Clearly I didn't heed his calls for help. I'm a bad snail mommy.

...well, half the battle is admitting the problem....

 

[tinkntraining]

Yeah, but it's not like I made him work for his wafers!! He just had to suction to the tank and be cute.

But, the expectations... the ever-consuming drive to be cute, it just got to be too much for him and pushed him over the edge, literally.

Poor fella'. May he rest in peace.

 

[snapppyd]

Yes, but as "we" get older the pressure to be cute takes more and more time. Perhaps he wasn't finished grooming himself when that horrible fish started making fun of his wrinkles?

Oh well, we'll never know now, will we?

 

[glitterkittyy]

...well, half the battle is admitting the problem....

Wonder if there's a 12-step for this.

But, the expectations... the ever-consuming drive to be cute, it just got to be too much for him and pushed him over the edge, literally.

Poor fella'. May he rest in peace.

Well there was pressure. People would come in and say things like "what's your snail doing?" and "Does he just sit there all day?" Lots of pressure to perform...or at least move.

Yes, but as "we" get older the pressure to be cute takes more and more time. Perhaps he wasn't finished grooming himself when that horrible fish started making fun of his wrinkles?

Oh well, we'll never know now, will we?

He did spend a lot of time inside his shell. Maybe Murphy is a big bully meanie fish.

 

[tinkntraining]

I gotta say....there are funny posts, then there are FUNNY posts, the kind that make you spit your coffee out at the monitor.

This has got to be one of the funniest threads I've read in such a long time. Thanks, everyone. But I just have one question....which one of you witty people are gonna come and clean the coffee stains from my computer monitor?

 

[glitterkittyy]

Well Gary was good at cleaning algae, but I'm not sure how good he was with coffee spills. Guess I'll never know now....

 

[snapppyd]

So when and where will be services be held? Should I send flowers or just donate to the snail fund???

 

[tinkntraining]

So when and where will be services be held? Should I send flowers or just donate to the snail fund???

I bet we can send our donations thru "snail mail".
Sorry, Gary.

 

[snapppyd]

There WILL be a memorial, right????

 

[glitterkittyy]

So when and where will be services be held? Should I send flowers or just donate to the snail fund???

I'm not quite sure what kind of burial I'll be having. For now, his body is being held in a ziploc bag. Bit of trivia for ya....dead snails get stinky surprisingly fast.

In honor of Gary's passing, I suggest you send something snail mail.

 

[Missy1961]

I bet we can send our donations thru "snail mail".
Sorry, Gary.

groan............

 

[snapppyd]

I'm not quite sure what kind of burial I'll be having. For now, his body is being held in a ziploc bag. Bit of trivia for ya....dead snails get stinky surprisingly fast.

In honor of Gary's passing, I suggest you send something snail mail.

OMG, you mean you didn't put him in the freezer??

 

[glitterkittyy]

There WILL be a memorial, right????

Of course! I'm thinking about retrieving a spork from our vast supply and finding a suitable burial plot in the landscaping outside.

 

[tinkntraining]

groan............

Hey, I couldn't resist.

 

[glitterkittyy]

OMG, you mean you didn't put him in the freezer??

How to handle a dead snail:

Step 1: Pick up the danged thing. I used a pencil (the eraser end) and a mini paper plate.
Step 2: Make sure it's dead by poking the eraser around a little bit.
Step 3: Do the heeby jeeby dance because you just touched a dead snail.
Step 4: Put the plate down and wonder what to do.
Step 5: Post about it on the DIS.
Step 6: Take a sniff around and note that said dead snail is going bad.
Step 7: Place dead snail in ziploc using same eraser and mini paper plate.
Step 8: Put ziploc bag in freezer...not my mini-fridge, but the big one. Don't want snail cadavers where you keep Lean Cuisines.
Step 9: Retrieve spork for burial plot digging.
Step 10: Dig hole and drop in dead snail.

Shall I sing something at the service?

 

[tinkntraining]

How to handle a dead snail:

Step 1: Pick up the danged thing. I used a pencil (the eraser end) and a mini paper plate.
Step 2: Make sure it's dead by poking the eraser around a little bit.
Step 3: Do the heeby jeeby dance because you just touched a dead snail.
Step 4: Put the plate down and wonder what to do.
Step 5: Post about it on the DIS.
Step 6: Take a sniff around and note that said dead snail is going bad.
Step 7: Place dead snail in ziploc using same eraser and mini paper plate.
Step 8: Put ziploc bag in freezer...not my mini-fridge, but the big one. Don't want snail cadavers where you keep Lean Cuisines.
Step 9: Retrieve spork for burial plot digging.
Step 10: Dig hole and drop in dead snail.

Shall I sing something at the service?

I think the theme song from Spongebob Squarepants would be appropriate.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I think the theme song from Spongebob Squarepants would be appropriate.

Good choice. Or perhaps the song from the Spongebob Truth or Squared movie. My kids sang that one so much I know it word-for-word too:

I never thought that I would have a chance like this
What dreams exist as big as this one?
If happiness are patties frying on the grill,
I'll have my fill upon each fresh bun.

Here's a day that couldn't get much better
It is the greatest that's ever been
It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater,
Just to hold on to that warm feelin'

 

[PRmamiDEdos]

Maybe you should go "Old School" and sing Dust in the Wind.


You're my boy Gary, you're my boy....

 

[PRmamiDEdos]

Good choice. Or perhaps the song from the Spongebob Truth or Squared movie. My kids sang that one so much I know it word-for-word too:

I never thought that I would have a chance like this
What dreams exist as big as this one?
If happiness are patties frying on the grill,
I'll have my fill upon each fresh bun.

Here's a day that couldn't get much better
It is the greatest that's ever been
It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater,
Just to hold on to that warm feelin'

Now I have

"It's the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest daaaaaaaaaaaay eeeeeeeeeeeev-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer, It's the best day eeeeeev-eeeer." stuck in my head.

 

[snapppyd]

I was hoping for a burial at sea