Was I the jerk here?

[sam_gordon]

I think this topic has been a really interesting discussion. It certainly is okay that we see things differently. I appreciate your perspective even if it differs from mine.

Some people would move when asked and thats fine and nice of them to do so. I think the biggest issue is that when told no, the group that asked got huffy. I don't think the group was neccessarily acting entitled merely by asking the question (although they would have been interupting my enjoyment of the previews), but their response when not getting the answer they wanted certainly moved them into the entitled bracket.

It's a really interesting discussion. I totally agree I would not have a problem with the group asking me (as long as it's an "ask" and not a "demand"), and they accept "no" as an answer. If that's the case, I wouldn't think about it again. I could see why the OP posted about it based on the group's reaction.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

It's a really interesting discussion. I totally agree I would not have a problem with the group asking me (as long as it's an "ask" and not a "demand"), and they accept "no" as an answer. If that's the case, I wouldn't think about it again. I could see why the OP posted about it based on the group's reaction.

In the grand scheme of things, neither the OP, nor those that asked are more than a drop in the jerk bucket. And both are probably less.

 

[JBRB828]

Absolutely not! I would not have moved either.

 

[AustinTink]

That's why I'm glad Alamo Drafthouse is opening up in my city (finally). Assigned seats, and VERY strict rules. They do not hesitate to kick people out for disturbing people, or even being on their phone. They take pride in it, in fact haha.

Yes, they run those little promos before the movie telling the audience exactly what they will do to them if they talk or act the fool. They are pretty funny. I must say my kid worked there in high school and he never had to toss anyone out or tell folks to simmer down.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Just for the sake of discussion.

This thread made me think of my last movie outing a couple of weeks ago. It was the first since before the pandemic. Our local theater switched over to assigned seating, which was fine. We got there early and got seats where we like to sit, and some snacks, and were excited for the movie to start. Enjoyed the previews, and saw a few films I might want to see later.

So just as the main attraction was about to start, a group of five or six older ladies heads up the stairs, right into our aisle. We all had to stand up while they passed in front of us, which was fine. I happened to be on the end, and the seats were all filled once they came, so the last lady sat right next to me. No biggie, I leaned toward my son a bit.

The problem was, this lady had an odor. And a pretty significant one, at that. Every time she moved, it hit me. So that was a bit of a bummer. (I go to movies to get away from odors! ) They also talked during the movie, and one even took some flash pictures - someone from behind us yelled at them to stop! On the ride home we decided that, from now on, especially with assigned seating, we’d try to go at times that weren’t as busy, if possible.

 

[lisaviolet]

I would have moved in an instant. And been happy that they can all watch the movie together. I am assuming that there wasn't another clear open row where six in a row would work.

But no I don't think you were being a jerk.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

It's not being a jerk to ask nicely. The answer can be yes or no. It's not being a jerk to accept whatever the answer is graciously.
It's not being a jerk to say yes or no in a nice way.

 

[focusondisney]

On the ride home we decided that, from now on, especially with assigned seating, we’d try to go at times that weren’t as busy, if possible.

One of the benefits of being newly retired, lol. Going to the movies is one of our favorite pastimes. We have the unlimited Regal plan & go 3 -4 times a month. Years ago it was Saturday nights, then Saturday afternoons. But now that I’m retired, we’ve been going on Monday afternoon. There’s usually only about 10 other people in the theater. It’s great!

 

[HopperFan]

First I checked the date of the post to see if this was a zombie post .... there isn't a theater anywhere around here that you don't pick your seats when you buy the tickets.

We are movie people, once a week. Went today. NO YOU ARE NOT THE JERK! They were the jerks for even asking you to move. Location matters, we have our seats we almost always sit in. If we can't get prime seats for viewing, we change movie times. There is absolutely a downside to moving down three seats for those who go out of their way to get what they consider prime seats.

Bottom line you aren't supposed to talk during a movie SO it shouldn't matter if they aren't next to each other. You snooze, you lose. They knew with six going to a popular movie they needed to be early. They weren't. As a Mom I know once told her kid "since when did your problem become my problem?"

I've had this happen to me too. Perhaps the firework/parade example would've been better to use than an airplane.

I remember one time my sister and I were at Disneyland and we wanted to see the night time parade. So we camped out a good hour or so beforehand and grabbed a spot right on the curb on Main Street. I brought a blanket for us to sit on and we waited. At the VERY last second, a family with three kids squeezes past the crowd behind us and tries to shove their kids in front of us. We stopped them from doing so and we had to take the blanket off the ground because the parents tried to pull the blanket out from under us so their kids could sit on it too. Was I rude to block three kids' view of the parade? Sure. But we made the effort to grab a spot early and that was what we wanted to spend our park time doing.

That's why I don't think the OP or anyone else who has done this is in the wrong. I can't stand the entitlement of people, especially if they're the ones coming in at the last minute.

The parade thing is a pet peeve with me. And NO YOU WERE NOT RUDE, those parents were. I once arrived to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade HOURS early in 19 degree (and I was in the shade on top of that) weather with my little one in a snowsuit and baby sling and blanket. Right before the parade got to us a family told there kids to climb through 6 layers of people to stand in front of me. I told them to go right back where they came from and tell their parents they should have gotten up earlier. Those parents were teaching their kids all the wrong things. Maybe they grew up to ask people at movies to just slide on down.

 

[VandVsmama]

Ok I'm one that believes deeply in common courtesy. The world is just a better place to be when we treat each other nicely. Having said that...

At the movies the other day to see the new Top Gun (loved it, the original is one of my all time favorites). We are "get to the theater early so we can sit where we want" people. Hate sitting toward the front or way off to the side. So we did, got the seats we wanted about halfway up in the center of the screen. There were 3 of us. Theater was only about 3/4 full so there happened to be 3 empty seats on each side of us.

So a group of 6 comes in pretty last minute, toward the end of the trailers. They ask us to scoot down 3 seats so they can have 6 together. I say "no, these are the seats we like, we're going to stay here". The guy stands there looking at us for an awkward amount of time as if to say "Seriously?". Finally he rolls his eyes and says "whatever, let's go" in a very annoyed tone.

I felt like I was justified in not moving out of the seats we had been in for the last 20 minutes. "First come, first serve " is one of the bedrocks our society is built on, IYAM. So what say you, DISboard? Was I a jerk in this instance?

You were not the jerk, the other guy was.

 

[shh]

The problem was, this lady had an odor. And a pretty significant one, at that. Every time she moved, it hit me. So that was a bit of a bummer. (I go to movies to get away from odors! ) They also talked during the movie, and one even took some flash pictures - someone from behind us yelled at them to stop! On the ride home we decided that, from now on, especially with assigned seating, we’d try to go at times that weren’t as busy, if possible.

That's what I'm talking about - I don't want to sit that close to strangers in a movie theater -just not comfortable doing that. Which is why I only used to go midday or midweek. With assigned seats, someone can book right next to you...then you have the hassle of going to customer service or taking the chance on moving after the movie starts.

Just doesn't seem worth it. We haven't been to a movie in several years and with all the streaming services, truly don't miss it.

Yet for some reason, I have no problem at massively crowded theme parks - go figure.

 

[AdamsMum]

I don't think you were a jerk. If I'm going to a theater with 5 other people and we want to sit together, we go early enough to do that. I get annoyed when people show up late to an event and expect others to accommodate them.

 

[shh]

another thing I didn't think about - I almost always need 1-2 bathroom breaks midway...so I purposely choose aisle seats to avoid disrupting others. By moving over, now you have the extra hassle of trying to shimmy past a bunch of people if you need to use the bathroom.

 

[sam_gordon]

another thing I didn't think about - I almost always need 1-2 bathroom breaks midway...so I purposely choose aisle seats to avoid disrupting others. By moving over, now you have the extra hassle of trying to shimmy past a bunch of people if you need to use the bathroom.

Or you have less people to shimmy by. I've never been in a movie theater that didn't have aisles on both sides of the seats. Moving from the middle in either direction would put you closer to one of the aisles.

 

[cgattis]

The thing that’s most surprising to me about this thread is how surprising it is that a theater doesn’t have assigned seating. We live in a small town and our theater (built in 1951) is a “twinplex” only. They have invested in state of the art projectors and sound system, but not electronic or online ticketing. So I can still see a first run movie for less than 10 bucks and get a small soda for $1.25. I’m happy to get there a little earlier and save an hour drive to the big theater and some $$ too! Not to mention supporting local business, not a chain.

And for the record, no, you weren’t a jerk— if you ask someone to do you a favor, you should be prepared to accept a “no” as graciously as a “yes.” If you arrive late—whether due to issues within your control or not—you deal with it.

 

[k&Jsmom]

no

 

[TheIncredibles!]

A party of 6 should arrive early if they want to sit together for a newly released movie...