Walking dogs in a cemetery

[sukhakuli]

Do you think this is disrespectful?

We live across the street from a large, beautiful cemetery, and I have dogs that I walk every day. We try to be respectful of the people mourning. They tend to have funerals in the morning, so I keep the dogs in the house because they will stand at the fence and bark, and I think it's rude. But I do enjoy walking the dogs there in the afternoon after most of the mourners have left. My dogs have been trained to not go potty on walks, and we stick to the paved streets or paths, so we don't wander through the graves. Today I went a bit early, and they had a funeral later than usual, so there were people leaving a funeral as I was walking my giant dog by, and I was thinking to myself that maybe walking the dogs through the cemetery is disrespectful.

The workers there have seen us and know us, and they typically make some cheerful comment, or tell me jokingly that horses aren't allowed (our dog is 36 inches at the shoulder. The little fluffy dog doesn't usually get any comment at all). We walk through the neighborhood, too (we all have 1.5-2 acres, and there is a natural trail area, too, but I try to mix it up so they we don't get bored, plus the cemetery is beautifully landscaped with fountains, and trees and palms and things), so I can just skip the cemetery.

I lost my father about a year ago, so being cognizant of people mourning is important to me. But also, since I lost my father (he's buried somewhere else) I feel kind of a connection to the cemetery, and I think about him as I walk through. But I don't want to do the wrong thing, either.

Just wondering what other people think.

 

[kimblebee]

Do you think this is disrespectful? We live across the street from a large, beautiful cemetery, and I have dogs that I walk every day. We try to be respectful of the people mourning. They tend to have funerals in the morning, so I keep the dogs in the house because they will stand at the fence and bark, and I think it's rude. But I do enjoy walking the dogs there in the afternoon after most of the mourners have left. My dogs have been trained to not go potty on walks, and we stick to the paved streets or paths, so we don't wander through the graves. Today I went a bit early, and they had a funeral later than usual, so there were people leaving a funeral as I was walking my giant dog by, and I was thinking to myself that maybe walking the dogs through the cemetery is disrespectful. The workers there have seen us and know us, and they typically make some cheerful comment, or tell me jokingly that horses aren't allowed (our dog is 36 inches at the shoulder. The little fluffy dog doesn't usually get any comment at all). We walk through the neighborhood, too (we all have 1.5-2 acres, and there is a natural trail area, too, but I try to mix it up so they we don't get bored, plus the cemetery is beautifully landscaped with fountains, and trees and palms and things), so I can just skip the cemetery. I lost my father about a year ago, so being cognizant of people mourning is important to me. But also, since I lost my father (he's buried somewhere else) I feel kind of a connection to the cemetery, and I think about him as I walk through. But I don't want to do the wrong thing, either. Just wondering what other people think.

Nope, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

 

[sonnyjane]

Honestly this would have never crossed my mind as being inappropriate in any way. My grandparents live right in the middle of two very large cemeteries and growing up we would go for walks there almost every evening! The only thing I think would be disrespectful would be a dog relieving itself on a grave, which you said they are trained not to do.

 

[tvguy]

I walk on my meal break at work, and there is a large cemetery a few blocks that I walk through. People walk their dogs and jog there all the time. I have no issue with that.
Only odd thing I have seen is at the cemetery my grandparents are buried in. It is a very popular place for people to have their wedding pictures taken at. This is Cypress Lawn in Colma, it is very pretty, but seems like an odd place for wedding photos. People love this backdrop.

 

[Debkearsch]

I would have no problem with it, since your dogs aren't using the cemetery as their bathroom. However, around here, most of the cemeteries have signs saying no animals. I love taking my daily walk through the cemetery, it's so peaceful and calming. Makes me feel a little closer to family members buried there.

 

[PizzieDuster]

I agree with the pp. As long as they aren't relieving themselves on any part of the cemetary - sounds like good polite visiting/walk through to me!

Must be hard for them to walk pass all those smells and grass though. But, I realize, it's MY dog that would have a hard time

If I were visiting my brother and saw a dog relieve itself First, I would think, isn't there any other possible place you could walk your dogs?

If people complain, I'm sure they'd put a sign up "no dogs allowed".

I would never do it. Plenty of other places to walk my dog. And honestly, I don't find that a nice walk. Especially, seeing services. Would bring back too many painful memories.

 

[MIGrandma]

I walk in our city cemetery quite often, it's right beside the city park so I start out in the park as they have a nice trail all the way around. Then when I get to the back of the park I cross over the railroad tracks and go into the cemetery. My Dad is buried there so I always stop and say hello to him while on my walk.

The cemetery does have signs posted "no dogs allowed" but I've seen people break that rule. I don't know if they just don't want dogs going to the bathroom as some people may not pick it up and dispose of it, or if there is some other reason they don't want dogs in the cemetery.

Personally I would have no problem with anyone walking their dog there, if it's not a barker. I could see a graveside funeral service being bothered by a dog barking, but just quietly walking by I wouldn't think anything of it.

I see people walking in the cemetery all the time, it's quiet and peaceful and rarely do you encounter a vehicle that you have to move out of the way for. I enjoy walking there, and reading the gravestones and seeing all of the different things people place on graves of their loved ones. I've even "fixed" a few graves as maybe a small statue that someone put there has fallen over, so I'll stand it back up, or if I see silk flowers that blew out of the vase beside the grave I'll put the flowers back, things like that. I try to be very respectful of the graves, and I think most people do that as well. If a funeral service is taking place when I'm walking I just avoid the road that goes in front of where they are. There are several roads in the cemetery so it's easy to avoid the road right in front of where the service is being held.

I wouldn't think you are being disrespectful just by walking your dog in the cemetery, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

 

[barkley]

I walk on my meal break at work, and there is a large cemetery a few blocks that I walk through. People walk their dogs and jog there all the time. I have no issue with that.
Only odd thing I have seen is at the cemetery my grandparents are buried in. It is a very popular place for people to have their wedding pictures taken at. This is Cypress Lawn in Colma, it is very pretty, but seems like an odd place for wedding photos. People love this backdrop.

given the way colma is set up I'm guessing that if a bride/groom is insistent that they want their wedding photos done outdoors there they don't have many options other than using a cemetery (1400 living residents, 1.5 million 'souls').

growing up in the bay area, if anyone mentioned they were going to colma the immediate reply was 'I'm so sorry for your loss'. have to give the town credit for having a good sense of humor though-I love that their official town motto is 'it's great to be alive in colma'

 

[mjkacmom]

I see no problem with it. I think cemeteries are a huge waste of space, and I think it would be great to encourage people to use them to walk or play.

 

[aprilgail2]

Ours have signs that say No Dogs Allowed.

 

[kathie859]

I see no problem with it. I think cemeteries are a huge waste of space, and I think it would be great to encourage people to use them to walk or play.

THIS!!! A waste of space! The living should use these peaceful places to recharge. I used to go with a birding group to an old graveyard with huge trees and never once thought this was disrespectful to the dead or any mourner we may occasionally see.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Our church has its own cemetery and our lab puppy goes with me sometimes to walk there. Never a problem and i see no disrespect at all. Both my parents are burred there.

 

[Pembo]

No problem with it. The cemetery is the place we took our kids for their first driving lesson. Lots of curvy roads with no traffic.
Photo sessions at the cemetery were quite popular here when I was younger. I know both hs seniors and wedding parties that had their pics taken at the cemetery.

 

[Burnedout]

As long as there are no signs saying not to and they aren't using the restroom there no problem.

As far as a waste of space if they are privately owned it is the option of the owner to use the space as they choose. This is the case of mode cemeteries here. So thinking of them as your (general) own private park or that they are there for your use is illogical. It is like saying that you aren't using your backyard effectively so I can come have a picnic or drive through it.

 

[kathie859]

As long as there are no signs saying not to and they aren't using the restroom there no problem.

As far as a waste of space if they are privately owned it is the option of the owner to use the space as they choose. This is the case of mode cemeteries here. So thinking of them as your (general) own private park or that they are there for your use is illogical. It is like saying that you aren't using your backyard effectively so I can come have a picnic or drive through it.

My "waste of space" belief stems from my belief that when we die, we've left this plane of existence and "moved on". The shell I leave behind is meaningless---cremate and/or donate the parts for others in need. Also, don't send me flowers when I'm dead--I want them NOW! Same for "visiting" a grave site--Hello? Nobody's home. Not to get into a religious discussion but just explaining that ownership of the graveyard wasn't the issue for my comment.

 

[sukhakuli]

I haven't seen any "no dogs allowed" signs, but I never go in the front entrance. Our neighborhood has a relationship with the cemetery, and there are walkways connecting our neighborhood to the cemetery. None of the workers ever tell me dogs aren't allowed. I tend to take the giant dog there more than the little dog. The giant dog is calmer, and it's a longer walk. He has spent several months with a very well respected trainer (he's a rescue) and has impeccable leash manners. He never barks, never pulls, greets people calmly, and never potties on walks.

It's crazy the stuff you see at funerals and at the graves. I'm talking full out parties with DJ's and balloons, and people celebrating loudly. The mariachi bands are the worst because they are so loud. The first time we heard the 21 gun salute, I couldn't figure out who was shooting in our neighborhood. Really freaked me out! But overall, I love living near it. The hillside to the front of us will never have houses cluttering it up, so it's a nice view for us, and aside from a few loud services, it's very quiet and peaceful. And I think about my dad who passed a lot, which is pleasant to think about.

 

[barkley]

As long as there are no signs saying not to and they aren't using the restroom there no problem.

As far as a waste of space if they are privately owned it is the option of the owner to use the space as they choose. This is the case of mode cemeteries here. So thinking of them as your (general) own private park or that they are there for your use is illogical. It is like saying that you aren't using your backyard effectively so I can come have a picnic or drive through it.

with some publicly owned cemeteries the space can be used for no other purpose because of the way the land was acquired.

we have family members at rest in a city owned cemetery that sits on 4 acres of prime, highly desirable land smack in the middle of the city of Sonoma California. while there may be those who could see better use of the land it's not going to happen-the property was deeded to the city in 1835 for it's current use only, anything else and it reverts to the ownership of the grantor's descendants (absent the current inhabitants which the city would have to re-locate at their expense).

 

[Hannathy]

No problem at all as far as I'm concerned, I'll even go so far as to say if the dog did go -along the road not on a grave- as long as you cleaned it up, no problem. I mean it isn't like the wild animals say oh its a cemetery I can't go here.

I can see not letting them bark at a service but if I was there grieving I would like to see a dog walking by, animals bring me comfort and I'd like to think who ever I was burying would have lots of company!

Anyone else remember 40 yrs ago when sociologists used to predict that in the future cemeteries would be used as the only green spaces left and people of the future would use them for picnics and such?

 

[barkley]

I haven't seen any "no dogs allowed" signs, but I never go in the front entrance. Our neighborhood has a relationship with the cemetery, and there are walkways connecting our neighborhood to the cemetery. None of the workers ever tell me dogs aren't allowed. I tend to take the giant dog there more than the little dog. The giant dog is calmer, and it's a longer walk. He has spent several months with a very well respected trainer (he's a rescue) and has impeccable leash manners. He never barks, never pulls, greets people calmly, and never potties on walks.

It's crazy the stuff you see at funerals and at the graves. I'm talking full out parties with DJ's and balloons, and people celebrating loudly. The mariachi bands are the worst because they are so loud. The first time we heard the 21 gun salute, I couldn't figure out who was shooting in our neighborhood. Really freaked me out! But overall, I love living near it. The hillside to the front of us will never have houses cluttering it up, so it's a nice view for us, and aside from a few loud services, it's very quiet and peaceful. And I think about my dad who passed a lot, which is pleasant to think about.

omg-you just reminded me of one of the funeral homes where I grew up. for some reason some in the community wanted to be able to bar-b-que during funeral services (and eat potluck style during visitation and at the gravesite). the local cemetery had to put a ban on bbq's (it was literally getting to look like tail-gate parties) so one of the local funeral homes did a big remodeling that included installing HUGE bbq's adjacent to the area where the hearse pulled up to load the caskets for the trip to the cemetery.

it was the most disconcerting site imaginable when the remodel was done and a huge banner was put under the business sign-it read 'funerals, cremations and now featuring-BBQ HERE AND TO GO'

 

[LilyWDW]

omg-you just reminded me of one of the funeral homes where I grew up. for some reason some in the community wanted to be able to bar-b-que during funeral services (and eat potluck style during visitation and at the gravesite). the local cemetery had to put a ban on bbq's (it was literally getting to look like tail-gate parties) so one of the local funeral homes did a big remodeling that included installing HUGE bbq's adjacent to the area where the hearse pulled up to load the caskets for the trip to the cemetery.

it was the most disconcerting site imaginable when the remodel was done and a huge banner was put under the business sign-it read 'funerals, cremations and now featuring-BBQ HERE AND TO GO'

That just doesn't sound right...