We don't swear indiscriminately (or any of the other things your reference) in our family either. In fact, people often tease me that I still talk like a preschool teacher even though I have not taught it in over a decade because I pretty much never swear. Hearing it in a song does not translate to it getting used in reality in my family--and IF the kids pay attention to the lyrics and wonder what is up it is a great springboard for discussion. I also agree that just strings of obscenities are lazy writing (song, movie, book, you name it) and there are songs that are too full of them for me to like at all.
Wow, after I re-read my post, I realized I
sounded totally like a prude, and seemed to be mentioning the Black-Eyed Peas song as an example of gratuitous swearing and all things bad about songs, which was not my intent. As a PP mentioned, the "actual" words are "Let's get retarded." I vastly prefer the "Let's Get It Started" radio-edit, because I dislike the way people throw around the word "retarded." I also apologize if it sounded as if I was saying all people who listen to songs with lots of swearing, themselves swear constantly. My goodness, for someone who makes my living communicating, I certainly didn't express myself well!
To clarify, yes, I agree there are absolutely songs (and movies) that can be rife with foul language, and still have a lot of merit (either as plain-old entertainment, a message, or both). One of my favorite movies is "Boondock Saints," and that film is chock-full of language I would never repeat, doesn't portray various ethnic groups well, and has a lot of the type of humor that I typically do not find amusing. But it has a thought-provoking message, is somehow a mix of reverence and total irreverence, and has Willem Dafoe in drag -- so I love it! I also like a lot of songs with a hard edge, and I agree that Eminem's newest CD has a lot of great stuff on it.
I guess I make a distinction between music/movies with a message (or at least that skillfully entertain!) and those with simply appalling lyrics or that actively promote behavior I abhor. I think the newest song by Eminem and Rihanna is fantastic. As another poster mentioned (I think in a different thread), it shows both sides of an abusive relationship and
is a very evocative song. On the other hand, I hate the song by 21-gun Salute -- "Don't Trust Me."
On the other hand, heaven knows my taste level can be questionable. Watching Project Runway -- and having views completely opposed to the judges' most weeks -- has shown me that! Tastes can be different, and different is not a value judgment. I simply have a deep-seated uneasiness about entertainment that glorifies violence, misogyny, bigotry, etc. Although I think many people are capable of separating entertainment and reality, I feel like our entertainment becomes our reality far too often. I just started reading Gavin de Becker's "Gift of Fear," and I was stunned at the rates of violence in the US versus other countries. I can't help but attribute some of that to our preferences in entertainment.
I think the fact that you discuss those actions/language/situations that are questionable or disturbing in media with your kids is the best way to mitigate the effect of those things, and is both admirable and (I expect flames here) uncommon for many, many families. (I want to say most, but I have would have to find data to back that up!)
I guess I don't want to think I love a song, or the kids to go on about loving a song--only to look like fools because they are talking about the watered down version--and don't really have an understanding of what the song is about
This just reminds me of the "If You Seek Amy" Britney Spears song. For about the first month it played, I enjoyed it, blasted it every time it was on the radio, and tried to figure out what story she was trying to convey. The lyrics didn't really make sense to me, but I was still enjoying the song. When a friend finally explained it to me, I was so sheepish. It seemed obvious then what the actual "message" was!