wah! I need encouragement

[stitches of laughter]

So, I flip flop on whether or not I should go on my solo trip 8/31-9/6.

Here is some background:
Disney World is a very special place to me. In most recent years, my ma and I spent most of our time planning vacations to go there. Our last trip was August 2009. We were planned to go in December 2010, but she fell into kidney failure. She felt SO bad, so when she recovered she wanted to go in January. The Thursday before she passed away she told me we should have planned our trip for this past May. My mom passed away Sunday, February 20th. By far the worst thing I have ever been through. My mom was my best friend, my world. In the eulogy I wrote I had noted that no one else would endure my endless planning for Disney vacations.

I planned this trip to celebrate her life. I need time to reflect and surround myself with positive people. I have been struggling with allowing myself to indulge in a solo trip. Financially, I am one payment away from my trip. My aunts are the two who think it is irresponsible of me to "waste" that money on the trip.

My friends are all encouraging me to go.

What would you do?

 

[Smile&Nod]

I am so sorry on the loss of your mother. You need to allow yourself to do this - it is part of the grieving process for you. It is one of many "firsts" that you will have to go through without your mother and you need to do it, get it behind you and realize that Disney will still be your happy place - just different than it was.

As long as you are not overdue on other financial obligations then it is your money and you can do what you want - no one else can tell you whether it is an appropriate use of your money. Your mom would understand.

 

[stitches of laughter]

I am so sorry on the loss of your mother. You need to allow yourself to do this - it is part of the grieving process for you. It is one of many "firsts" that you will have to go through without your mother and you need to do it, get it behind you and realize that Disney will still be your happy place - just different than it was.

As long as you are not overdue on other financial obligations then it is your money and you can do what you want - no one else can tell you whether it is an appropriate use of your money. Your mom would understand.

thank you, i greatly appreciate your input. i know my mom would be hesitant of me going solo, but she's the one i did everything with, so i think in a way she would be proud.

 

[Smile&Nod]

You are welcome - I have a daughter just a year younger than you and she is my Disney buddy - we go every year and have a blast. I know I'd want her to go and truthfully, I'd be okay with her being alone there - just use common sense and Disney is probably one of the best places to travel alone. Now, if she says she wants to go to Europe on her own I'd be a little nervous ....just because she hasn't traveled much - Disney on the other hand - she'd be fine as will you.

Have a wonderful trip - expect to have a few twinges of sadness, but try to realize how happy your mom would be that you were there doing things the two of you loved to do together.

 

[Chernadan]

Definitely, definitely, definitely go.

My grandfather was the one who got me hooked on Disney when I was really little. He would be what I would call my Disney-buddy. The summer that we lost him was one of the worst in my life and we had a trip scheduled for that Fall. Almost no one wanted to go so I went alone and took care of everything myself. At the time I was 19 but I'm a guy so its not a big deal to travel alone really.

Anyway, we used to ride Dumbo together at MK and on a whim I got in line for it. It was funny to stand there with all these little kids staring at the way too tall kid in line but I rode the ride and broke down during it remembering the times grandpa and I rode together. It was cathartic and very healing.

You may have a moment where something triggers a memory for you and you have break down. Thats totally ok. Go with it. It will hurt for a little but then it will start to feel better. Nothing can replace a lost loved one but you can hold the memories close and smile all the same.

Have a great trip and enjoy.

 

[stitches of laughter]

You are welcome - I have a daughter just a year younger than you and she is my Disney buddy - we go every year and have a blast. I know I'd want her to go and truthfully, I'd be okay with her being alone there - just use common sense and Disney is probably one of the best places to travel alone. Now, if she says she wants to go to Europe on her own I'd be a little nervous ....just because she hasn't traveled much - Disney on the other hand - she'd be fine as will you.

Have a wonderful trip - expect to have a few twinges of sadness, but try to realize how happy your mom would be that you were there doing things the two of you loved to do together.

thank you. i did the internship at disney for only a month (i couldn't stand being away from my mom and am so happy i came home, i not for one second regret spending those months with my mom instead) so i am comfortable in the parks alone.

i know the fireworks will make me cry. my ma and i would cry together during wishes

Definitely, definitely, definitely go.

My grandfather was the one who got me hooked on Disney when I was really little. He would be what I would call my Disney-buddy. The summer that we lost him was one of the worst in my life and we had a trip scheduled for that Fall. Almost no one wanted to go so I went alone and took care of everything myself. At the time I was 19 but I'm a guy so its not a big deal to travel alone really.

Anyway, we used to ride Dumbo together at MK and on a whim I got in line for it. It was funny to stand there with all these little kids staring at the way too tall kid in line but I rode the ride and broke down during it remembering the times grandpa and I rode together. It was cathartic and very healing.

You may have a moment where something triggers a memory for you and you have break down. Thats totally ok. Go with it. It will hurt for a little but then it will start to feel better. Nothing can replace a lost loved one but you can hold the memories close and smile all the same.

Have a great trip and enjoy.

thank you, i really appreciate it.

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

Oh you most definitely have to go! Someday I plan on taking my dd and my ds separately on "Mom and Me" trips. Those trips create the best memories. How special that you were able to share that with your mom in the past.

My mom passed away unexpectedly on Mother's Day 2009. I miss her dreadfully and am so sad that she never got to experience Disney with her grandchildren.

By taking this solo trip, you'll be honoring her memory and remembering how special it was for the 2 of you. I wish I could go with you and we could share memories of our moms together! Go, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

 

[stitches of laughter]

Oh you most definitely have to go! Someday I plan on taking my dd and my ds separately on "Mom and Me" trips. Those trips create the best memories. How special that you were able to share that with your mom in the past.

My mom passed away unexpectedly on Mother's Day 2009. I miss her dreadfully and am so sad that she never got to experience Disney with her grandchildren.

By taking this solo trip, you'll be honoring her memory and remembering how special it was for the 2 of you. I wish I could go with you and we could share memories of our moms together! Go, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

thank you so, so much. I am so sorry for your loss. It is truly the most heart breaking pain. It so hard. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that my ma would want me to. I know there are great things ahead of me for my life, but right now I am stuck on February 20th.

sorry for my expressing my emotions. I know some readers don't like it when people vent. but there is no where else to go with this situation.

 

[Aliceacc]

You owe it to yourself, and to your mom, to go.

You're over 18. Then thank your aunts politiely, and do what you want to. You were right-- while your aunts don't understand, your mom would have.

And buy yourself a very special memento of mom there-- I'm thinking a gold watch or a pearl in Japan-- as a gift from mom.

My sincere sympathies on your loss.

 

[stitches of laughter]

You owe it to yourself, and to your mom, to go.

You're over 18. Then thank your aunts politiely, and do what you want to. You were right-- while your aunts don't understand, your mom would have.

And buy yourself a very special memento of mom there-- I'm thinking a gold watch or a pearl in Japan-- as a gift from mom.

My sincere sympathies on your loss.

thank you. I've been thinking about getting one of those glass figurines with a photo sketched into it. In 2009 my ma and I took my little brother to Disney World and I took a photo of her at Crystal Palace and I used it for her prayer card. I plan on having that picture sketched into a figurine. I think they do that at the end of the Figment ride in EPCOT.

 

[Aliceacc]

Perfect!!!

And get yourself a piece of jewelry too... something you can wear each day and remember the happy times.

 

[stitches of laughter]

Perfect!!!

And get yourself a piece of jewelry too... something you can wear each day and remember the happy times.

I've been thinking about that. When I first moved to college, my ma gave me her gold necklace with her St. Christopher on it. She said since it got her through her diagnosis of CHF and several heart attacks, it could get me through anything. A few years after that she gave me a charm that she had engraved for my third christmas with the virgin mary on it. A few months after my mom passed, Jewel (a grocery store, she worked there for 20 years) gave her a charm for her anniversary. For the past few months I've had her necklace hang from one of my frames of us. Maybe for her trip I will wear it again and add a charm

 

[Aliceacc]

I've been thinking about that. When I first moved to college, my ma gave me her gold necklace with her St. Christopher on it. She said since it got her through her diagnosis of CHF and several heart attacks, it could get me through anything. A few years after that she gave me a charm that she had engraved for my third christmas with the virgin mary on it. A few months after my mom passed, Jewel (a grocery store, she worked there for 20 years) gave her a charm for her anniversary. For the past few months I've had her necklace hang from one of my frames of us. Maybe for her trip I will wear it again and add a charm

Exactly!!!

so... it sounds like you're going, right????

 

[stitches of laughter]

Exactly!!!

so... it sounds like you're going, right????

well, I am only $200 away from being set in stone. My final balance is due July 17th, my manager will let me know July 16th if I can have that week off (which is irritating because no one else has requested that time off and she originally said it was okay, but then when I officially brought it to her she said I would have to wait, ugh)

 

[letthewookiewin]

First, I am so sorry for your loss. It seems like the older I get, the closer, I get to my own mother.
I hope that you are able to get the time off work, and celebrate the life that you shared with your mother in one of the greatest places on Earth. I would just politely tell the Aunts that you are glad that they care that much about you, but it is really your decision if you take the trip or not.

 

[stitches of laughter]

First, I am so sorry for your loss. It seems like the older I get, the closer, I get to my own mother.
I hope that you are able to get the time off work, and celebrate the life that you shared with your mother in one of the greatest places on Earth. I would just politely tell the Aunts that you are glad that they care that much about you, but it is really your decision if you take the trip or not.

thank you, for your kind words. Neither of them have been to Disney World nor are they close with their own daughters. So here we stand $200 & a manager are the only thing between me being surrounded with memories

 

[stitches of laughter]

my manager gave me the week off i need for disney!!!!!!!


wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

[juliebug1997]

I'm sorry for your loss. I was crying as I read your first post because that was me last September. My mom died from complications of a stroke and it was a very hard time for all of us. A few weeks after her funeral, I told my husband I needed to go to WDW to find some happiness so he helped me plan a trip right before Christmas. I didn't want to go alone so I asked my brother to come with me and he did. We are very close and we had a great time celebrating life together and remembering the trip we took together as a family in 1987 (his only other trip). He did tell me that it was hard to watch the families with the little children because he was remember the times that we were all together, but we both had a great time and my husband never said anything about the money I spent or that I wasn't asking my brother to pay me back for his part of the trip.

Go. Your aunts don't understand and that's okay. Not everyone enjoys Disney, but I totally agree that you need it. And, congratulations on your boss letting you off!!!!

 

[Aliceacc]

my manager gave me the week off i need for disney!!!!!!!


Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

yay!!!!!!