Vow Renewal thoughts.....

[parisgirl]

Hi Ladies,

I am needing some inspiration and thoughts really. DH (lee) and I got married at sunset point in august 2004, since we got married times havent been great for us, lee has had 2 spinal surgeries, I had 3 miscarriages, had a healthy baby boy, the best thing to happen in all the bad times. So now i am really wanting to do a renewal.

My 1st question is do you think i should wait till DS, Jake, is of an age where he can really remember it, he is 18 months old now, or do we just wait till he is 4/5?

Does it have to be on the same date that we actually got married? Do we do have to do it at the same place? If we change these things am i trying to re-write history, if you know what i am trying to say??

I have so many ideas of what I want to do, i know it wont be on a grand scale as we are from the UK, and it will probably just be a few of us that come over. Do Vow renewals have to be very low key or can I go all out and have the day that we feel we didnt have 1st time round??

Thank you in advance for all your help.
Toni xx

 

[ElleBren]

My 1st question is do you think i should wait till DS, Jake, is of an age where he can really remember it, he is 18 months old now, or do we just wait till he is 4/5?

This is probably going to end up your call. Just to give you an example our daughter was 14 months old at our VR and slept through the entire thing. We got some great photos with her, but she wasn't involved. On the other hand we also had my 5 year old cousin there and I doubt he really remembers the VR more of just that we were at Disney.

Does it have to be on the same date that we actually got married? Do we do have to do it at the same place? If we change these things am i trying to re-write history, if you know what i am trying to say??

I didn't do mine on the same date, mostly my anniversary was in june and I wasn't going to even think about FL at that time. As for the same place if we ever did the VR just for the two of us I don't know what I would choose, while it would be nice to go to do it in the same place it could be fun somewhere else. I don't see it as rewriting history, just doing something different.

I have so many ideas of what I want to do, i know it wont be on a grand scale as we are from the UK, and it will probably just be a few of us that come over. Do Vow renewals have to be very low key or can I go all out and have the day that we feel we didnt have 1st time round??

Our VR had 70 people and it was essentially our wedding. We eloped the year before and we didn't have anyone there. We wanted to have the wedding we didn't have. You can do whatever you want. For an escape I would add on a dessert party to make it more all out.
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Good luck!

 

[LittleStinkerbelle]

Does it have to be on the same date that we actually got married? Do we do have to do it at the same place? If we change these things am i trying to re-write history, if you know what i am trying to say??

I don't think you have to do your vow renewal on the same day you go married or at the same place. We're in the early planning stages right now and depeneding what we do, we might do our VR in a completely different month (and season) than we were married. And we weren't married at WDW so that would be totally different too! I actually want to do something pretty different than our wedding--that's part of the fun of it to me.

As for waiting 'til your son is older, that's a tough one. I think part of it will depend on whether or not you will have people with you that can help you out. I'd say at 18 months you'd need a fair amount of help with him in terms of when you're getting ready and during the actual vow renewal. At age 4 or 5 you made need less help and he would be old enough for the kids' clubs at the hotels.

Good luck with your plans!

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

Hi Toni! First, I'm sorry to hear of all you went through

We are planning a VR right now, so I'll tell you what I've learned so far. Please feel free to PM me if you like!

So, when I started researching, basicly anything goes with a VR (although usually they tell you to not wear a veil or have a dad walk you down the isle, or do a gift registry!)... you can do it anytime you like, although the most common are these: big anniversary (10,25, 40, sometimes I see 5), or after a big/challenging time to reconnect/recommit. So, after I saw that, I actually started looking at real VR's, and again, I would say annivesary years are common, but very rare to the date, and there are lots who do it whenever they chose.

Marriage is a challenge, and life isn't easy, and I saw a couple that renewed every 5 years- and I thought that was really sweet and special that they took that time together!

We are doing ours at a really weird time ourselves, and after we actually made the decision to do it, we love it, DH says we will always renew our vows on 'off years' now For us, it is nearly 9 years married, more than 11 years living together (kinda like 10 we say!), and our kids are both 5 at that time, which we thought was so perfect. It's in september- but our anniversary is actually in December. Although, we had planned to do our VR in January before, as a celebration of our '10th year' of marriage beginning. We weren't 'trying to rewrite history' by changing any dates. We will still have the same wedding anniversary. But we also celebrate still, our springtime 'becoming a couple annivesary', just like we celebrate holidays- so now we'll have a fall date where we probably have a nice date every year Infact, my DH said maybe over our lives we'll renew our vows in each season, LOL!

I should also say that my DH reproposed... which I'm not sure if that's very common. He took me out with a diamond ring for the right hand. Our first ring is so sweet- but was a family heirloom- and I think he just really wanted that experience of picking something himself. So now I have rings on both hands (plus a 5 year band he gave me!). I've read of so many things people use instead of rings, though. If you don't want new rings... and people also exchanging the original bands again.

Honestly, I think anything goes with this. Big, or small. We are just having ourselves and our kids. Plenty of people do it alone or with just kids or close family/friends, others do a grand affair. I think it depends on what you want and your circumstances.


As far as your son... hmmm.... this is about you and your DH, and his life is very dependent on your marriage being happy. If this is what you need, I would go for it, and not worry if he remembers it or not. He won't remember much at age 4 or 5 really! My kids will both be 5 (one will be just a few weeks shy of six), and I'm really excited and loving this age, but I think I would be so excited to celebrate with my kids no matter what their ages.

I hope some of that helped. If you look at my link I have a Pj you can read, and again, feel free to PM me. We went through a lot of changes in ideas and dates... and I just encourage you to explore everything and do whatever meets you and your husbands needs, and not worry about what others think!! In this day and age, celebrating love, through all of the challenges, I think there is nothing better!!

Best to you and your family

 

[29apr00]

Hi! I'm so sorry for losses!! My dh and I suffered 2 losses between our DD and DS and went thru many rounds of fertility treatments and medical tests to determine what was happening.

We are doing our VR for our 10th. Our anniversary is in April, but the VR is in Dec because we love the holidays and it's cheaper then too! Our children will be involved, but I doubt our DS will remember it, he'll be just shy of 4 yrs old.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[B2B-2008]

Sorry to hear about the trouble you have had.

Being that you are from England (like me) do you get over to WDW often? If its no I would wait until your son is older to do the VR so he can remember the who experience of the VR and Disney.

We had a wishes wedding with only 12 of us and had an amazing day.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

Maybe Cam will come post here..she had a VR and it was MACK DADDY! It was everything her first wedding wasn't!


Oh CAM!!

 

[parisgirl]

Hi Ladies,

Thank you for your replies, it certainly has given me lots to think about, I think the date prblem has been solved, for e it wasnt an issue getting married on a different date it was just someone had said but wont it be like rewritting history and thats what got me thinking.

We have decided to go ahead with our normal trip and have a look at all venues when we are there but then we will do our VR probably in 3 years time, we have always planned to go every 3rd year so we will incorarate it into that trip, we have also decided to do an open invite, there will of course be a cut off date on which we will need to know by to arrange things.

Things that we have definitely decided on,
- I will have my dream dress
- Jake will walk me to Lee
- We will choose a different location, am really liking SBP atm,
- We will choose somewhere different for our meal afterwards, we ate at citricos last time and although it was wonderful we are thinking we are going to change everything about it.
- We will do a desert party in Epcot and watch the fireworks, again last time we hired the boat and had champagne and strawberries whilst watching wishes so something different.
- I would LOVE the carriage but i cant justify the money.
- We ARE going to have mickey, that will be a surprise for Jake (DS)

So as you can see some things are in place, well on paper anyway the rest as they say will come. I have plenty of time to organise things.

Toni x