Volunteerism doesn't seem to be important anymore

[Claudia1]

Let me start off by saying that I know that everybody is busy and that most of the volunteers I have seen in schools, churches, athletics, etc... are only a small percentage of the adults involved. However, I have observed that the percentage of involvement has dropped significantly over the last few years.

Last night was really bad for our local summer youth program. We live in a very rural community but we have a wonderful 46 year old circus program that has always been free to any student. The participants do not do any fundraising and the adults have always done garage sales, a dinner, and other things to raise extra funds. We have about 200 performers this year and we needed volunteers last night to put on a dinner. Very simple stuff and we only needed 30-40 people for 1 hour. We also needed donated desserts.

We did not have 1/2 of that show up, even though we have a parent pool of over 300 to call. We were pulling our own family members in for 2 hour at a time. You would think that the parents would appreciate that their child doesn't have to do the fundraising and give us an hour or two a year to help out. Nope!!!! Comparable programs across the nation cost over $300/performer plus fundraising. Ours is free for a 4 month program. We almost ran out of desserts, too. How much trouble is it to drop off a pan of brownies?!?!? As a free program, we rely on volunteers to keep it going.

I see this is many other organizations, too. I understand that families are very busy but too many don't do anything but just drop off their child.

I'll get off my soapbox now. You may return to your regularly scheduled DISing!

 

[Sumac]

I'm sorry to hear that the parents in your community did not step up.

What I've noticed in my own community is that a small portion of the parents do a large portion of the volunteering, leaving a bunch of parents that do nothing. Between my DH and myself we are involved in Cub Scouts (Den Leader), Baseball (Coach), School (Room Parent), and Church (Teaching Children's Church). I know many others who do the same. On the flip side, I know others whose kids are involved in stuff (scouts, sports) but never volunteer.

The folks that are involved are usually very involved and then there are some that do nothing. It is very sad, as the hard working ones usually get burnt out...

 

[Kteacher]

I've noticed the same thing I'm volunteering with the homework club at the school where I teach. I'm looking for a community service organization to help us out so we can increase the number of kids in the club. until I get that in place I've been asking adults in the school community to give an hour of their time. One school committee member flat out told me she was " too busy "- this woman doesn't work outside the home, and her children are adults. Meanwhile, I work a full time and a part time job, have 2 kids still at home, a girl scout troop, and yet I'm able to find two hours every week for the homework club What I've come to realize is that a third of the people do the actual volunteer work, a third are " vocal complainers-letters to the editor types, and the last third try to stay under the radar, hoping nobody will ask them to help out with anything. Sorry about the long rant, but this is something that really bothers me

 

[bicker]

I doubt we'll hear from those who don't volunteer -- they're either not interested in the subject or too busy to reply.

 

[Sumac]

You are probably right Bicker...

 

[Marseeya]

Our school never seems to have a shortage of volunteers -- to the point where parents who want to do something usually get turned down. I'm sorry you're having difficulties finding people to help.

I have an opposite problem with my DH. He does several volunteer projects through his company (on top of his 60+ hour work week). One of them is a program where he mentors a high school student and that particular program really ticks me off. They get together with these kids and take them to picnics, baseball/football games, sponsored activities in the city, and things of that nature. "Why does it tick you off?" you may wonder. Well, first of all, my husband has never taken our kids out for bonding days like that for starters.

For another, the kids involved in this program aren't underprivileged. Instead, they all come from middle to upper-middle class families and their parents are very involved! I might feel very differently if the kids were underprivileged, but according to DH, they're just normal kids vying for a scholarship through the company.

Anyway, I hope I don't sound selfish or petty. It's just hard for me to watch my kids grow up without spending any real quality alone time with their dad, while he's off with these other kids doing all sorts of fun things.

ETA: I forgot to mention -- I do volunteer where I can, but I won't do it to the detriment of my own kids. Mostly, I did volunteer reading programs, although I haven't been able to do it as much as I'd like these past couple of years with me in school. Through school I have to be in the classroom observing and such, so I hope to get back to it when I'm done. I love reading programs.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I'm in the slacking off part, but a good part of it is most volunteer opportunities are during the working day at the school. Hmm. They do have the occasional family fun day...where I just worked some hours a couple weeks ago. But a LOT of it is lack of communication. I think maybe they're relying too much on the middle schoolers to actually hand info to the parents. My daily question to DS is...do you have any papers for me today? Almost always a "no" comes from him. At his previous school, things seemed better organized. At registration for the coming year, they had a form where you choose what you want to volunteer for. As plans moved along, calls were made to those looking to volunteer. It worked well.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I know what you're saying about volunteering--perhaps they should make it compulsory for the parents to participate to a certain degree when the kids sign up? I agree, a pan of brownies or such shouldn't be too difficult to come up with, even if you work or have many other outside commitments.

In our house, the amount of volunteer time has waxed and waned through the years. DH and I were both very active in the fire department, but it's gone by the wayside for various reasons (mostly an increase in required training at the same time we were having children). We both do scouts. I'll gladly bake for the PTSA, but nothing else, since I have a 2yo, and I don't believe in bringing her to events and letting her run amok while I help. Ditto for helping in the classroom--hopefully, I'll be able to do more in the future. But again, I do bake--I can do that early in the AM or at nap time.

Sadly, I think there are people who figure someone else will "step up" if they do nothing. My best suggestion would be, if you could ask people what they might be willing to do--some, like me, can contribute, but only in certain ways. Others might have valuable skills (sewing, pricing yard sale stuff) that don't require a set time for them to be there. I would try to be as flexible as possible and help the parents see where they could add to the event even if they work or have other commitments.

 

[froglady]

I've been a long-time volunteer (since my 20s) and found that you reach a point of volunteer burn-out. This is very noticable in school volunteers. When the children are young, the parent wants to do everything. As the years go by, the parent gets tired of doing everything, and once the children (and the parent) are a lot older, they take the "It's time for the younger parents to take over" attitude.

I'm a SAHM with older children, so to the casual observer I might have all of the time in the world. However, I spend as much time caring for my aged mother as I did volunteering in school. I'm also trying to do all the things around the house that I put on hold until the children were grown. AND, I also have a little time for ME, which I also had to put on hold until now.

I still volunteer at DS's school, but not to the extent that I did when he was younger. I've paid my dues in the volunteer department, and feel no guilt about easing off.

 

[marlasmom]

Strange that you bring this up. Since I retired I have become very involved in a project working with abused and neglected children. Some of this is very worriesome. I have posted one or two of my concerns and have been lambasted with "you're just doing this because you want attention." HUH? And the "criticism" comes from people who do nothing for others.

Sounds like you have a great program. All you can do I guess is come down hard on those who don't contribute. Have you considered a sliding scale of fees tied to what other contributions parents make?

 

[cruisin'Mike]

I think part of the problem with volunteering with school is that most of the opportunities are during the day. DW works full time during the week, plus a 12 hr shift on Sat, Sun, or both. This is so that I can go to Pharmacy school full-time. I also work 3 nights a week.

We do help out when we can. The kids have an outdoor courtyard that they use for Science class, and we all helped clean, weed, mulch, etc. because it was on a Sat. I'll also help out with their Earth Day preparations, because the science teacher has parents come in at night to do it.

We are trying to instill a sense of how important it is to volunteer in our kids. We had them collect some practically new toys for kids who lost everything to Hurricane Katrina. Our big volunteer effort is with the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. DW and I have participated for the past 9 years, so our kids (8,6 & 6) have grown up doing it each spring with us. Last May, our oldest joined the team as his own member, and worked with his school principal to hold a fundraiser. He raised nearly $200 himself, and I couldn't be prouder! He already said he wants to beat that goal this year.

Here are some pictures of them with signs we made (the theme was "A Cure: the Final Fronteir), and at the Rainy Relay.

One more thing, our kid's youth association asks parents to take a turn, one week out of the soccer season, to run the snack bar. They make you give a post-dated check, and if you "do your time", you get it back. If you don't help out, they cash your check. I think that's a fair way to spread out the volunteering among the parents. Maybe the OP can come up with something like that for her program.

Interesting topic, thanks!

Mike

 

[Kteacher]

Mike- what a great idea about the post dated check! We just finished field hockey season with a large jamboree. I ran the food concession table with another parent. Almost all the parents helped out in some way, but there were a few that didn't do anything- this is a great idea for next year . Just wanted to add also that not all volunteer opportunities in communities are during the school or work day-most local newspapers run a list of volunteer opportunities , and many are in the evening or on weekends.

 

[C.Ann]

I had great plans of getting involved in some sort of volunteer work when I came home from the lake and I wasn't even here for 3 days when my car died.. Drats! It's not really worth putting money into because I'll be replacing it soon, so until then I'll just have to spend more time looking into what programs I would like to be involved in..

Seems to me that someone could have spared a measly hour for your program though - it's not like you were kidnapping them for an entire day..

 

[disykat]

I know it's frustrating. I think that sometimes well established older programs actually have a harder time getting volunteers because people assume it will happen regardless of whether they contribute.

The hard thing about volunteering is that to some I probably appear to be a "volunteer hog" (a thread a few days back) and to others I'm a lazy SAHM doing nothing because I said no to their particular opportunity. I have my pet projects and I try to take my turn in all the things the kids are involved in, but you can't say yes to everything. I would tend to look at an hour long commitment and needing a baked good as something I might skip, thinking that would be an easy opportunity for busy folks to step up. My volunteer work is usually more long term and more in the leadership realm because I have more time to devote.

 

[Pin Wizard]

One more thing, our kid's youth association asks parents to take a turn, one week out of the soccer season, to run the snack bar. They make you give a post-dated check, and if you "do your time", you get it back. If you don't help out, they cash your check. I think that's a fair way to spread out the volunteering among the parents. Maybe the OP can come up with something like that for her program.

Interesting topic, thanks!

Mike

That works! At DS' former school, families were "required" to have 10 "volunteer" hours per school year. They were willing to accept hours that grandparents volunteered, hours you volunteered at the church. It would go towards your time required. If you did NOT get your full 10 hours in, you were charged an additional $1,000!!! Guess that got a lot of parents volunteering. LOL!

At DS' current school families with 2 parents must have 40 hours per school year. Single parent families must have 20 hours per school year. Ha! I don't come close. This school does not have a policy on what to do if parents don't get all hours in. For two years now I've heard talk of "they're deciding what to do about it." Hmm.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Seems to me that someone could have spared a measly hour for your program though - it's not like you were kidnapping them for an entire day..

That's the exact type of thing I hate doing. If I have to get 20 hours in, give me a decent project for a day a couple times a year. Don't give me 2 hours 10 different days!

 

[shortbun]

No problem getting volunteers at our school either. But....the school board and a big corporation are studying our school to find out why we have such a wonderful load of parent volunteers. It's because our school is a lottery school, informal and nurturing by nature. So it follows that the parents who would want their children in such a school would show up in droves. We even have a volunteer co-ordinator who is a volunteer. Her job is enormous.

 

[roseprincess]

Take on volunteerism- when I was growing up, my parents never volunteered for anything, not at my elementary school, or jr. high or high school. and not anywhere else. My parents, unfortuantely, had an attitute that it's best to work and make the money, not volunteer and not make money.
The only thing they were for volunteerism was for me at age 14 and 15, to be a candystriper at our nearest hosp. I was kinda "forced" into it by my mom at first, then as I kept going to the hosp to be a candystriper on Saturdays, I started enjoying it. then when I turned 16, I started working at Kmart, Baskin-Robbins31 flavors, etc. My dh was raised the same way from his mom (if you can believe it), of not volunteering, but going out to work to make money. His parents never volunteered at school or anywhere, either , while he was growing up.

Now I'm married, have 8 yr. old special needs twins. I do volunteer at school, as a room helper for parties, been doing this for many yrs. I just joined our school PTA committee, volunteering on one of the many PTA committees at our school. About 3 yrs. ago, my dh and I were leaders for a family small group at our church, only lasted for 4 months because of other issues involved.
The school my kids go to have many parent volunteers, some of the moms work,some are SAHM. At church, there are always volunteers for many church ministries ( or we call it serving opportunities at church).
I will say, it is difficult for a parent to volunteer, that has special needs kids(like me) when I don't have my kids grandparents not helping out to babysit or any babysitting. Both my parents work full-time and they have for many yrs and don't help out with babysitting that much at all.

Ok, enough said. Just giving a perspective from someone(me) that their parents did not believe in volunteering 30 or 20 yrs. ago.

Maybe there should be PSA's out on TV commercials that promote volunteering? I haven't seen these type of PSA on tv.

 

[Kitty 34]

We never seem to have a shortage of volunteers here in our small town.

 

[nativetxn]

I did all kinds of volunteering when Travis was in school. I don't volunteer so much now, although I work as an election inspector and sometimes proctor exams at the law school.

Once things settle down in my life, I will have to start volunteering again.

Katholyn