volunteering vent

[Kteacher]

Out of 10 families in my DD's Girl Scout troop one set of parents refuses to volunteer for anything. The mother actually told the leader that if she is asked to volunteer she'll "pull her daughter out of the troop" . The leader doesn't want this woman's daughter to miss out on Girl scouts because of her parents, which I can understand, but I still think this is unfair. It's not a hardship issue for this girl's family-the mother is a college professor, and all the other children in the family are older-(she even had the nerve to make a snide comment to me at a GS event during school vacation week-she said she wasn't staying to help chaperone because " some of us still have to work this week", and she had to get up in the morning-it was an evening event that ended at 9 sorry about the long vent -all you other GS leaders, moms, (and dads ) any suggestions?

 

[hocksocmom]

Oooooh - that's a tough one. As a former brownie leader, I remember a parent that grilled me before the troop even met for the first time. She didn't like the meeting time or location. She also complained about the fact that the girls were not required to wear full uniforms and made it sound like the only reason her daughter wanted to join was to wear the uniform! Then, she'd call me at the crack of dawn (before she went to work) to ask questions about items that I'd already addressed in memo's sent home with the girls that she'd obviously not taken the time to read.

I figured my job was not to take it out on this girl and to provide her with an equal scouting experience despite her mother. In ANY group there are always those who don't pull their weight. Think of it as a positive that only 1 family is this way and don't plan more than you have volunteers for. Be happy to have the opportunity to set a positive example for this girl and as hard as it may be, don't let the dud parents bring you down. It sounds as if they have a superiority complex anyway . . . GOOD LUCK!!

 

[4greatboys]

Sorry no suggestions for loser parents. Nothing I know works. There are some parents who arent going to lift a finger no matter what (can you tell I've been there, dont that? lol). No its not fair to the other parents but it would also be unfair to withhold activities from the child. Its not her fault her mom is lazy.
When she said some of us have to work you should have said well some of dont mind chipping in for our children.
I was the vice-president of my 12 yr olds football league a couple of years back. Parents are supposed tork the consession--only 1 time!--during the season, and its not during your childs game. Or they could buy out so we could pay a teenage to work. We had many that did neither. Its so frustrating that there are those parents who help with everything and other who just sit on their butts and never lift a finger.

 

[fklhou]

Lack of parental involvement is common. We use to joke that BSA stood for Baby Siters of America. Good luck with your issue. Our GSUAS headquarters has some good people who assisted my wife with her troop and you migh ask your council for help on this issue.

 

[disykat]

Some people just don't get volunteering. You know what? As frustrating as volunteering gets sometimes - it's still their loss. Personally it feels good to me to volunteer my time and know that I'm helping to make the world a better place. She shouldn't be looking down her nose at you - you should be looking down your nose at her! So there! (LOL -sounds pretty creepy to say it out loud, doesn't it?)

 

[Luv2Roam]

Why would anyone want a volunteer working who has that attitude? Better that they do stay away.
With most volunteer groups it is 10% of the members doing 90% of the work, from my experience.

 

[Kallison]

We have a few Moms like that in our troop also. Last year at a camp out at the Leader's house (who has a really stressfull full-time job) the one Mom said - I have to get home I worked all day and the Leader said - Yes tell me about it, we all worked all day too (pointing at all the Moms who were sleeping out in the tents). I never took much note when I was a SAHM who volunteered or who didn't, but now that I work 30 hours per work outside the home, I do notice that some parents just do not and will never pull their own weight. I don't let it bother me too much, they are the ones missing out spending time with their kids. I know my DD always appreciates that I stay and help out during Thinking Day, march in the parades, go on as many field trips as I can. I feel sorry for the kids who parents never attend. My kids know that I have a big hand in most events at our school and I "think" it makes them proud. When we started our Troop I was cookie mom the first year and I ordered two cases per girl to sell or buy which is not a lot of cookies per kid. I did have one Mom call me up and give me heck about how she did not and would not sell cookies (now I know this Mom and their financial situation, they were not hard up). She then said Must we participate in cookie sales and I did say yes you must, this is Girl Scout's after all, you must have known when you joined that cookie selling is a part of it. The girl did quit the Troop, I felt bad for about two seconds. I didn't think it was fair to expect every other girl to get rid of her cookies and this girl to not even try. Now we order 5 cases per girl and some families are not into it. The families that can get rid of the cookies will help out those who don't, but at least everyone makes an effort. I guess that Mom just rubbed me the wrong way that day, if she would have said - We'll try but will you take them back if we can't sell them, I would have said sure.

 

[MerryPoppins]

When I was a Girl Scout leader, a mom once told me when she signed her daughter up that she had "done her time" with volunteer work. I was not to expect any help from her at any time. They would look for another troop if that would be a problem.

I couldn't let that girl miss out on Girl Scouts because she had a loser for a mother. The rest of us just did a little more, but it is frustrating. I remember thinking at the time about all the things I volunteered for. I had "done my time" too, but I continued to be there for my kids. How sad that these moms don't see what their relationships with their kids can gain from being involved.

I don't really know her situation. Maybe she worked full-time and took care of a sick parent or something. But it was her attitude that got to me. Instead of not knowing how she could help under the circumstances, it was don't ask me for ANYTHING!

 

[WillyJ]

I certainly understand why your upset Kteach. . . while not everyone has the same amount of time available time to help out, everyone can do something!! The woman's attitude makes the situation even more frustrating. .


But practically; other then vent, I don't see what else you can do except try and teach the daughter the value of volunteering- a lesson she obviously isn't going to learn at home. .

 

[Kteacher]

thanks for all the replies- it's just really frustrating it also doesn't help that she obviously feels as a college professor her spare time is much more valuable than a that of a "mere kindergarten teacher's aide " , although I have a feeling she wouldn't last more than 10 minutes with my 23 kindergarteners.....