Very disappointed with rude, mean people on vmk...a mother's vent.

[polkadotladybug]

Dear VMK fans -

My girls (ages 6 and 9) love VMK. THey have been on it since early Spring. They enjoy creating different rooms, trading, etc etc. They've always had a pretty decent time with everyone until recently.

My 6 year old came and told me that someone came up to her in one of the vmk rooms and said she was "ugly and a beach" - I said "she said you were ugly and a beach??" and my 6 year old said "you know - the bad word? B-I??" (I had NO idea she even knew the word, as we do not swear around our girls, nor do they watch any shows with vulgar language,etc) Now she is in 1st grade (and can spell like a third grader), and who knows where she heard the word in the first place - but she certainly knew that "beach" in vmk-speak means <word removed>. When I told her that she needed to report that person, she said the person got off her friend list and she couldn't report her.

My girls have told me of numerous incidents where people have come up and insulted them, etc. FOr those reasons, we have told them that unfortunately they will need to wind down their VMK time and that this will be their last weekend on VMK. WE told them that things have changed- mean people have signed up on VMK and that it's not just kids their age - that it's teenagers and adults and they like being mean to others and that it isn't right, but I don't think it's a safe place for them to be anymore. They reluctantly agreed. They said that they would go to a "Leaving VMK" room and give their stuff away - I didn't really encourage them to do that (in case they did get on it later on for short times - yes I'm being wishy washy, but I hate for THEM to be removed from something they love for the bad behaviour of others). So my 9 yo came to me and told me that she was giving away free stuff to a person named <name removed> and the person was being nice, and then when the transaction was over - "katie" proceeded to tell my daughter that she was dumb and ugly (don't all the vmk characters look alike essentially? LOL) and when my daughter went to go report her - she was disconnected before she could report.

So my questions are:

1=Can you report someone when some time has passed (minutes, hours, days - what's the cutoff) - do they need to be on your friend page, etc. Can you report someone just knowing their id?

2 = what does Disney/VMK do about it?

3= Is this becoming more and more common?

4=Is there an alternate way to protect my kids from rude vmk'ers other than telling them they can't do vmk at all??

I'm very sad about this - I know they enjoy getting on VMK and they have a few classmates that do it too, but I can't subject my kids to strangers calling them names, and vulgarities (albeit in vmk speak). It's people like these rude jerks that are bad for the vmk community.

Thanks for any replies,
Carol

 

[FunkyMonkey]

Dear VMK fans -

My girls (ages 6 and 9) love VMK. THey have been on it since early Spring. They enjoy creating different rooms, trading, etc etc. They've always had a pretty decent time with everyone until recently.

My 6 year old came and told me that someone came up to her in one of the vmk rooms and said she was "ugly and a beach" - I said "she said you were ugly and a beach??" and my 6 year old said "you know - the bad word? B-I??" (I had NO idea she even knew the word, as we do not swear around our girls, nor do they watch any shows with vulgar language,etc) Now she is in 1st grade (and can spell like a third grader), and who knows where she heard the word in the first place - but she certainly knew that "beach" in vmk-speak means <word removed>. When I told her that she needed to report that person, she said the person got off her friend list and she couldn't report her.

My girls have told me of numerous incidents where people have come up and insulted them, etc. FOr those reasons, we have told them that unfortunately they will need to wind down their VMK time and that this will be their last weekend on VMK. WE told them that things have changed- mean people have signed up on VMK and that it's not just kids their age - that it's teenagers and adults and they like being mean to others and that it isn't right, but I don't think it's a safe place for them to be anymore. They reluctantly agreed. They said that they would go to a "Leaving VMK" room and give their stuff away - I didn't really encourage them to do that (in case they did get on it later on for short times - yes I'm being wishy washy, but I hate for THEM to be removed from something they love for the bad behaviour of others). So my 9 yo came to me and told me that she was giving away free stuff to a person named <name removed> and the person was being nice, and then when the transaction was over - "katie" proceeded to tell my daughter that she was dumb and ugly (don't all the vmk characters look alike essentially? LOL) and when my daughter went to go report her - she was disconnected before she could report.

So my questions are:

1=Can you report someone when some time has passed (minutes, hours, days - what's the cutoff) - do they need to be on your friend page, etc. Can you report someone just knowing their id?

2 = what does Disney/VMK do about it?

3= Is this becoming more and more common?

4=Is there an alternate way to protect my kids from rude vmk'ers other than telling them they can't do vmk at all??

I'm very sad about this - I know they enjoy getting on VMK and they have a few classmates that do it too, but I can't subject my kids to strangers calling them names, and vulgarities (albeit in vmk speak). It's people like these rude jerks that are bad for the vmk community.

Thanks for any replies,
Carol

I'm very sorry for your kids. My mom also goes on VMK with me. And yes -- I think everyone who plays VMK gets these reactions. Sadly there is no way to stop them, just ignore them -- report them if you get the chance, and just know that when ever they say such things to you, tell them that it is never true. They are probably just jealous of our beautiful looks . And I'm also very sorry again that they had to leave, and then again -- I think you made the right choice for them!

 

[Maleficent2]

I am sorry your Daughters have had problems in VMK.


If they are in their personal rooms they can put those rooms on friends only and then only friends will be allowed in. That way they can control who they interact with.

The Dis has a Kids network they should join that.

Also it would be helpful to get a few DIS adult players on their lists and if they are having a problem they could message them for help.

They may also use the ignore feature in VMK and the boot if the player is in their room.

 

[mikeyandscoobyx2]

its terrible how people think thye can get away with anything on VMK.. I Think You can Report them anytime as long AS IT Really Happened.. Yes People Are being Like This More Often.. Im 11 years old and boy is VMK getting worse i was under cover because these people in this room were saying disgusting stuff and dancing and saying other disgusting stuff That VMK players should not be hearing.. UGH!!

 

[FunkyMonkey]

Mal I agree!

polkadotladybug,

I'm very sorry once again. And if your kids, and you, deside that they can go on again -- I would just love to be their friends! Just to let you know I'm FunkiMonkeyMe on VMK!

 

[ladyleopard1106]

You know...I'm 27, and sometimes I have to wonder exactly how old the other person is on the other side of the screen. Generally, when I encounter rude or blatently obnoxious VMKers, I just throw them on ignore. Today I have been lucky (knock on wood), and have had the fortune of meeting up with a lot of really nice VMKers. One helped me with HM while on the Tron quest (and she let me win!), so I paid it forward and helped someone else win HM while on the Tron quest. As the saying goes....it takes all kinds!

 

[Laurabearz]

I so agree with the fact that VMK as gotten ruder. I am sorry your kids had to see it. (((Hugs)))

 

[aprncess]

While you may want to have them stop playing, it is certainly your choice too do so....I signed my DD up and then had to play myself to see what it was all about. When ever she is at the pc (which is in my family room), I know exactly what she is doing....as for mean and rude people, yes there are alot of them but at the same time, there are many nice ones as well! Dont let them give away their things as they may one day be back.....These kind of situations occur within vmk daily and there is not much you can do about it other than stop playing or take some precautions.....delete friends list and start anew, dont accept just any friend that comes along, join the dis kids network, add some adult dis members as friends so that they may seek them for assitance in the future, if you are unable to be there at the time....have them keep their rooms on friends only, if someone starts trouble, boot them....report them even, here is a good rule of thumb, if you are approached by someone and they begin to chat with you, click on them and then click on report.....as long as that report window is open with their screen name, you may report them, they do not have to be on your friends list.....this works even if they leave the room......i dont know what else to tell you other than it is a shame that they will have to leave and get rid of their things due to the meaness of others....people are like this no matter where you go or what you do and although it is a shame, it is a fact of life......maybe if they arm themselves now in webland, when the situation occurs in real life, they will be more prepared.....i would take the above mentioned suggestions and implment them and let them stay but its up to you, good luck with what ever you choose.

 

[teentiger]

I am terrible sorry to hear about your girls. The vmk staff, i believe, can look up who said what and all that good stuff, so as long as it happened, yes, you can report anytime. The staff most of the time ban people, depending on what they did. I have found that rude people have become more common on vmk. Most of them may seen nice, sometimes cause you have someting they want. But after that, its over. Even my best friend in real life took all of my stuff away, but i was never able to prove it. After many months, vmk staff was getting a little worried, and finally caught her and banned her forever.
However as hard asthe staff tries, and the efforts of other kind people, vmk can still be a place where rude and mean people can play. Once again i am terribly sorry about your kids, and as a mother, to tell your kids no more was the right thing.

 

[FunkyMonkey]

Oh yes! If the person leaves you can click on help, and then report -- There if you remember the person's name, you can report that person . It's very helpful, and also you can write down the name of the person who is talking to you, if they say 1 mean thing -- and then if they leave and you see the person again around the kingdom, you can report them then . Once again I'm very sorry!

Hugs,


Monkey~

 

[CinderellaWannab]

Too bad the mean ppl win. I agree with aprncess these ppl are a fact of life. I worked in the schools 25years. Some kids are acting out what goes on at home while others feel big and know better. VMK is a good outlet to learn how to deal with these ppl before you have to in real life. Sorry you are not going to let your girls play. I too would like to be their friend. I understand how you feel though. We always want to protect our children.

 

[CapEldano2]

As i can consider myself a teen and therefore represent the teen community ( ), I think that people calling others names on vmk is completely innapropriate.. it's sad that a game for kids can't be played by kids because of those who lose their temper on vmk.. Have I ever lost my temper on VMK? Heck Yes! But i look at those who make themselves look like idiots when they lose their cool on VMK.. and tell myself every time i lose on pirates, make a bad trade, what have you, that people who say these things on VMK look like idiots.. the solution? If your gonna swear do it as loud as you can off the computer screen.. that always helps me.. plus, it's funnier when your yelling at people and they don't know/ don't fight back

 

[polkadotladybug]

Thank you for the replies.

Sorry mods - I do apologize for posting the slang term and the person's user id. I just had that venting tunnel vision and it didn't occur to me to not post that. I was so wrong and I'm sorry!! I'm used to posting on the other disboards (budget, attractions) - it didn't occur to me that there were a lot of kids. Duh!

Anyway -
Can someone tell me more about the DIS kids network? I do know my kids are very quick to add anyone to their friends lists and it makes me nervous. I know many words are outlawed, but there are plenty of ways to get around them. I'm not talking about curse words but regular words that are banned on vmk and I can see why. Like "phone" - you can't say that. But my kids were talking to other kids from their school and it took them one afternoon before they were saying "that thing you talk on" for "phone".

I did tell them to not give things away. They have a lot of High School Musical stuff (hopefully they did not give it all away) - plus they have stuff from doing a quest at WDW in June (among a zillion other things they have).

It just makes me sad that a few mean people can ruin fun for others. But I guess that's life.

THanks for listening.

Carol

 

[polkadotladybug]

Hi Again -

Can someone tell me the procedure for reporting someone after some time has passed? (like now for what happened earlier today?) - Do you go in through somewhere in vmk or can you email?

Thanks!

 

[FunkyMonkey]

Hi Again -

Can someone tell me the procedure for reporting someone after some time has passed? (like now for what happened earlier today?) - Do you go in through somewhere in vmk or can you email?

Thanks!

Well if you want to repot someone IN vmk, and the person left before you can click them, just press - Help, on the bottom right side of the screen, then click Report - on the top of the help. It will ask what the person's name is, so if you remember their name -- you can type it in. Or if you want to report or contact OUT of vmk, you can just press contact us on VMK's homepage. Hope I can help!


Hugs,

Monkey~

 

[Since1971]

I certainly understand how you feel. My daughter is nine and last night she told me someone told her she was ugly and a beach. She understood what that meant as well and we do not curse in this house nor are we ever around anyone who does. After reading about the problems here, I did explain to her that there might be someone who says this to her and to ignore them. She said she just ignored the person, but being realistic, when people say mean things, it still hurts regardless of the age. I told her she needs to report people when they do things like that, but what usually happens is when you go to report them, they leave the room before you can get the message typed. It takes too long because you can't use certain words even when you are trying to get help . A make sure I am always in the same room with her when she plays and it is a standing rule that all her rooms are friends only, she isn't allowed to trade with anyone, and she isn't allowed to add friends to her list. I would really like for her to be able to add friends and trade, but VMK isn't a secure place for children unfortunately so this is what we have had to do. I hope your daughters are able to play later and the atmosphere because nicer for them.

 

[aprncess]

I have done this more than one time, where I have been a witness to something that was starting to occur from another side of the room, minding my own business, and have clicked on the person, (at which time I would write down their exact screen name as I seen it) i felt was starting trouble and clicked on report and if they indeed caused trouble and left the room, which they do......i still was able to report them and you can take all the time you want in typing in the information.....as long at that report window is open....unless you get dc.....and if you log back in to report them you already have their screen name from when you wrote it down earlier!

 

[Goofy05]

It's a shame there are so many rude players on vmk. It's happening more often now than in the past, but I want to give you my input on the report feature.

DON'T report someone for being rude by using the in-game help button. This is only for emergencies. Not only does it take a moderator's time away from a more serious infraction, but it won't be answered.

DO use the ignore feature. Tell everyone in the room to ignore that person. They can chat all they want and you'll never see their text.

DO report someone who is harassing you, threatening you or trying to scam you. If you feel you must report someone for language or for being just plain mean, use the contact link on vmk's home page.

Most times, there is only one moderator working the help button. This makes for a very busy mod! Please, try to be considerate of their workload and only use the in-game help when absolutely needed.

 

[Kasiks]

I am bored of ppl being rude ... And i wanted to report a person I can not even report that ppl staff just said it was emergency only .. if being rude aint a problem ...

The game gives a bad image of Disney ...

 

[AvastPirateBen]

same here, they say its for emergencies only, when i was an undercover bay be getting ready to play fireworks, as i always say, GL people!! then a "mummy" came up to me and said word for word " u are way too close to my little bay be princess, im going to beat your <word removed>. - takes out shot gum - haha u dead u beach. then the little bay be said " mummy, can i try "? mummy- sure bay be, go ahead. bay be- shoots boy with gum, - kicks in <word removed> -


that shows how far its gotten, i cant say im a mother or a father, but as a player of vmk, it has gone too far with the innapropriate terms and language.