Venting...need some pixie dust!

[NloveW/Disney]

Ok, so I know we've all heard the dreaded mother-in-law stories, but I've got a good brother-in-law one. My DF's brother, which also happens to be his best man told us today that his children will not be going to our Disney wedding because he doesn't like what Disney portrays to children?!?!?!?!?!?! One of his kids was our flower girl on top of this. But he said that Disney is not conducive to families, and that their cartoons are Godless, therefore he does not want his kids subjected to that. Mind you, his children have been there twice before, with no problems. I have no problem and completely respect different religions in each family, but I'm sorry I don't get why they can't come down to our wedding and just not go to Disney. They still have Sea World at least. I just don't get where this is coming from all of a sudden. Disney is the most kid friendly place in the world. They may not be the most religious, but they are in no way a negative influence. They raised good kids, seeing a couple of Disney characters is not going to change that. Okay, sorry, I just needed to vent a little.. sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, since this is kind of a touchy subject with some people!

 

[beatlesblonde]

Umm, wow...All I can say is let him believe what he wants and maybe he'll come around so you can still have his kid be your flowergirl. Other than that I don't know what else to tell you or say except good luck.

 

[aduck126]

I'm sorry but... What a moron! I grew up in private schools and was raised Catholic and this is completely bull. What about The Prince of Egypt?!?! wasn't that disney? There is a fine line between being religious and just being ignorant. Plus since they have already been there aren't they already "corrupted"? What does he think is going to happen? They are going to renounce God and start and atheist organization following the cult of Mickey. I mean seriously...what bad can come from bringing your kids to Disney World!?!?! I have never heard of anything like that. Maybe there is something else going on...like he can't afford it so he is just getting on his godly high horse.

hang in there, im sorry about that

 

[aduck126]

also i forgot to mention but during the hollidays they have this giant manger display at Hollywood studios. maybe tell him that too.

 

[Disnsyncey]

What about The Prince of Egypt?!?! wasn't that disney?

Prince of Egypt was a Dreamworks movie

but yeah, its kinda crazy of them.....I can almost see it if the kids had never been and they were uber-sheltered......but since they know what its like and their kids have already been "corrupted", that's kinda ridiculous.....I mean, if their kids are older than they were before (obviously) I bet that they will be old enough for them to start discussing with them things in life in general that they don't agree with and why......

 

[Disnsyncey]

also i forgot to mention but during the hollidays they have this giant manger display at Hollywood studios. maybe tell him that too.

HAHA I am doing this as well.....but Candlelight Processional too!!!

 

[NloveW/Disney]

Thanks for the support! I completely forgot about the candlelight processional. My wedding is in December, so those things would actually be going on at the time. I thought they also had some concerts that were of the religious variety(sorry I can't think of the name of them now). My FMIL asked if we tried to persuade him to change his mind, but when he told us, we were both just so dumbfounded, that we couldn't come up with a response. At least now I may be able to bring up some of these points to make them change their mind, but at this point, I'm afraid that I'll resent them even if they do show up( meaning my future brother in law and his wife...not the kids, I know they are not to blame for any of this). I know money is not an issue for them. He made a point to tell us it had nothing to do with that, and his parents offered to pay for the kids to go down. Either way though, they were able to afford the trip. Luckily, I had two flower girls, so I won't need to find another one, but that still doesn't change the fact that my fiancee really wanted his niece to be a part of the wedding. He absolutely adores her. I'm also a little worried about the next time I have to see all of them, because it's going to be tough for me not to show how upset I am by this, but I don't want my fiancee to lose his relationship with his brother. aahhh!! It's just so frustrating! Thanks again for all the support!

 

[aduck126]

If I was you I would definitely have trouble getting over this. I am not one of those forgive and forget type of people. Maybe you should explain that by irrationally pulling his kids out of the ceremony it may cause a rift in the family. I don't understand why he would think that you would be so cool about this decision.

btw, where in IL are you from? I'm from Hawthorn Woods!

 

[knewton64]

Ok, so I know we've all heard the dreaded mother-in-law stories, but I've got a good brother-in-law one. My DF's brother, which also happens to be his best man told us today that his children will not be going to our Disney wedding because he doesn't like what Disney portrays to children?!?!?!?!?!?! One of his kids was our flower girl on top of this. But he said that Disney is not conducive to families, and that their cartoons are Godless, therefore he does not want his kids subjected to that. Mind you, his children have been there twice before, with no problems. I have no problem and completely respect different religions in each family, but I'm sorry I don't get why they can't come down to our wedding and just not go to Disney. They still have Sea World at least. I just don't get where this is coming from all of a sudden. Disney is the most kid friendly place in the world. They may not be the most religious, but they are in no way a negative influence. They raised good kids, seeing a couple of Disney characters is not going to change that. Okay, sorry, I just needed to vent a little.. sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, since this is kind of a touchy subject with some people!

.....express sorrow & regret to him & his family - then move on with your wedding plans. I feel that there is a different motive at work here but he won't reveal it yet. Give it time but in the meantime, please do not let this ruin you and your spouse's to be big day and pending marriage.

Sounds like what may help you is a trip report eh???? ......


....... or better yet...... here is a pre-wedding stress reliever website that will have you just saying "OMG" 3 bazillion different ways.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/


Keep us posted and good luck.

 

[figment52]

Thanks for the support! I completely forgot about the candlelight processional. My wedding is in December, so those things would actually be going on at the time. I thought they also had some concerts that were of the religious variety(sorry I can't think of the name of them now). My FMIL asked if we tried to persuade him to change his mind, but when he told us, we were both just so dumbfounded, that we couldn't come up with a response. At least now I may be able to bring up some of these points to make them change their mind, but at this point, I'm afraid that I'll resent them even if they do show up( meaning my future brother in law and his wife...not the kids, I know they are not to blame for any of this). I know money is not an issue for them. He made a point to tell us it had nothing to do with that, and his parents offered to pay for the kids to go down. Either way though, they were able to afford the trip. Luckily, I had two flower girls, so I won't need to find another one, but that still doesn't change the fact that my fiancee really wanted his niece to be a part of the wedding. He absolutely adores her. I'm also a little worried about the next time I have to see all of them, because it's going to be tough for me not to show how upset I am by this, but I don't want my fiancee to lose his relationship with his brother. aahhh!! It's just so frustrating! Thanks again for all the support!

Are you thinking of "Night of Joy" in September - several gospel groups perform.

http://allears.net/tp/mk/noj.htm

 

[Bride-to-be]

Wow. I thought our wedding was full of religious issues. Can I ask what religion he is that doesn't allow his children to go to disney world for a wedding? I am pretty sure it doesn't say anything about disney world or mickey mouse in any bible.

I really think its got to be a cover for something else. Think of it this way - unless you go to Rome or Jerusalem, there really aren't many vacation spots in the world that have much of anything to do with promoting religion. Are they planning to never ever allow their kids to travel?

Whats the difference between sea world and disney world - why could they go to 1 and not the other?

Here is what I would do. Find out what church he goes to and talk to his pastor and ask about disney world and see what he says. Then if your BIL asks what you are doing just tell him that what he said was sooo unbelieveable you had to find out for yourself. Then when his pastor looks totally dumbfounded and confused ask him to tell your BIL that its ok to take the kids to disney. Then maybe at that point the real story will come out.

Maybe the adults just want an excuse for a trip without the kids.

 

[sbsteel]

I have a small part of my family (that most of us tend not to acknowledge ) and they will throw out the God excuse to get out of something they don't want to do. Because, you know, nobody should question someone's elses beliefs... Maybe they're just too cowardly to tell you and your DF that they won't/can't make it and this is the excuse they chose.

 

[NloveW/Disney]

btw, where in IL are you from? I'm from Hawthorn Woods!

I'm from a small town about an hour south of the city called Peotone.

knewton64.. Thanks for the sites..I'm definitely headed over there next to check out some stories!! Maybe that will make mine not feel so bad.


figment52..Thank you, it is Night of Joy that I was thinking about.

Unfortunately, this is not the first extreme religious thing this family has done. I don't want to say what religion it is because I don't want to insult anyone. They may be a more extreme version of it, and I don't want to judge everyone else based on their actions. There were a couple of other things the family didn't like and mind you I do NOT support their views on this at all, but they said that didn't like that Disney had the Gay day in the parks. That just makes me sick, because they say the are accepting of everyone, but clearly they are not. And if you have a problem with it then don't attend the parks that day, it's not like those are going on during my wedding either. His wife is the one that you can't argue with. Once she has her mind set on something you can not talk her out of it. She thinks she is 100% right and could care less what anyone else thinks, because those are her "views". My fiancee's entire family is scared to say anything to his brother because then his wife will keep the kids away from our family and none of us want that.

 

[aduck126]

this i about the gay days?! that is so ridiculous. some people are so blinded by their religious crutch that no rational thought seems to pass through their tiny brains. You are probably going to have to deal with this and go on with your wedding without them. it seems like they are beyond the point of reasoning.

that wife sounds like a real Malificent!

 

[IrishLily]

Whether or not their decision is based upon their religious views or some other underlying issue, it's best to just respect their decision. I think of Disney World as a vacation spot, not a place where I go to seek any sort of spiritual needs. So, I agree that the two are mutually exclusive. Disney tries to accept all religions, and this may be something they dislike. However, by trying to corner them and force out of them the real reason will just create more of a headache for you. And you certainly don't want the best man upset and in attendance after such a confrontation. I say, just focus on the positive...you still have a flower girl, the FBIL is still coming and willing to participate, and YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!

Certainly, this situation is more than reason enough to vent, but I really feel that by confronting them about their decision (especially when you said the wife never budges when her mind is made up) will only make the situation even more unbearable, and more than likely you'll end up with the same result: only one flower girl.

Hopefully they will come around in the end!

 

[NloveW/Disney]

yeah I realize there's not much we can do about it without making the situation worse, but still needed to vent. Thanks for listening everyone! I just hope he doesn't back out as well at the last minute. I don't think his mother would forgive him if that happened. Well, I still can't wait for my wedding and our planning session is less than a month away, so yay for that as well! 7 1/2 months to go!!

 

[Ember]

Hahahahahahaha!

I'm sorry, but that is the silliest thing I've heard in a while...

OP, I'm sorry this is causing you stress. It's a ridiculous reason to not go to your wedding. Could it be there are other issues here and this reason is being used to not have to talk about something else? It just seems so utterly incomprehensible...

 

[iggbees]

how awful for you to be going through this. tell them that they can visit "the holy land experience" when they are down there if they think disney is anti-religious. apparently it's a theme park based on the bible? i think it's located somewhere in orlando (they showed it on the duggar show at one point). this way it's a win-win. they get to have a family vacation and they can still go to your wedding without the pressure of visiting the parks. they can spend all day at the other theme parks like sea world and that holy land place. just tell them that you want them at your ceremony, which is going to be religious!

 

[boettj]

I know money is not an issue for them. He made a point to tell us it had nothing to do with that, and his parents offered to pay for the kids to go down.

I tell you what, his parents can pay for my family to come down, and our 3 year old can be your other flower girl. . Sorry, I know this is difficult for you, and I should not be making lite of it.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

WOW! I don't know what to say to this one. Sending you pixie dust in hopes that everything turns out ok.