Vent - wrong son won lottery to charter school

[JamesMom]

Background: I am currently homeschooling DS 9 John and DS 12 James because the school district wasn't pushing my younger son enough because of his speech and reading delay. He has been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and has a long history of sensory issues which have declined as he matured. I have caught him up 2 grade levels in reading in the year plus he has been home. On the other hand, my oldest is advanced with comprehension skills at the high school level. He is currently in 7th grade math and high school 1 Spanish at home.

The problem : A new charter school opened this year which offers daily English, Spanish and mandarin integration from grade 6 and up. There is no 11 or 12 the grade because they go to the nearby college for dual enrollment. There is daily PE and fine arts classes. They have Chinese students come and live for the year and reciprocate with US students.
Kids are accepted based on a lottery. Both of my kids were put on the waiting list. 144 spots per grade. John was wait list 110 while James was 180 back in March. Didn't think any more on it. This initial lottery was set up so that if one sibling was accepted (but not wait listed) all other siblings were too.
Well, yesterday the school calls and John is eligible now (jan 5 start date) IF I complete paperwork by Monday. No go for James.
It is James I want it for. John loves homeschooling without the distractions of school and med free. He has made such progress. I don't think he could keep up with the rigor med free and he doesn't want them again. John wants to stay home. But James would benefit so much from this school. He wants to go. But his best chance is to get sibling priority next year, if a kid doesn't come back for 7th, IF John enrolled. Otherwise, James would take his chances on the few possible spots with the general pool of candidates as a new wait list is made by lottery every year.
This kills me as we can't do this John. There is no solution I can see. So close yet so far.
So, venting and praying that I get a call for James later. Thanks for listening.

** Update - See post 4 for why John was in the lottery to begin with.

 

[ilovemk76]

Background: I am currently homeschooling DS 9 John and DS 12 James because the school district wasn't pushing my younger son enough because of his speech and reading delay. He has been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and has a long history of sensory issues which have declined as he matured. I have caught him up 2 grade levels in reading in the year plus he has been home. On the other hand, my oldest is advanced with comprehension skills at the high school level. He is currently in 7th grade math and high school 1 Spanish at home.

The problem : A new charter school opened this year which offers daily English, Spanish and mandarin integration from grade 6 and up. There is no 11 or 12 the grade because they go to the nearby college for dual enrollment. There is daily PE and fine arts classes. They have Chinese students come and live for the year and reciprocate with US students.
Kids are accepted based on a lottery. Both of my kids were put on the waiting list. 144 spots per grade. John was wait list 110 while James was 180 back in March. Didn't think any more on it. This initial lottery was set up so that if one sibling was accepted (but not wait listed) all other siblings were too.
Well, yesterday the school calls and John is eligible now (jan 5 start date) IF I complete paperwork by Monday. No go for James.
It is James I want it for. John loves homeschooling without the distractions of school and med free. He has made such progress. I don't think he could keep up with the rigor med free and he doesn't want them again. John wants to stay home. But James would benefit so much from this school. He wants to go. But his best chance is to get sibling priority next year, if a kid doesn't come back for 7th, IF John enrolled. Otherwise, James would take his chances on the few possible spots with the general pool of candidates as a new wait list is made by lottery every year.
This kills me as we can't do this John. There is no solution I can see. So close yet so far.
So, venting and praying that I get a call for James later. Thanks for listening.

Why did you put John's name in if you knew he would not attend if he won the lottery?

Since it is only for the second half of the year, I would put John into the school and see how he does. This would give James a better chance of getting in next year. If John does not do well, then you can home school him again in the fall.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why did you put John's name in if you knew he would not attend if he won the lottery?

Since it is only for the second half of the year, I would put John into the school and see how he does. This would give James a better chance of getting in next year. If John does not do well, then you can home school him again in the fall.

This--or just take your chances for James when the time comes.

If I was adament one of my children would not do something, I would not have submitted their name in the first place.

But it really stinks that the future of any child is relying on a lottery. Every parent wants the best for their child.

I still need to watch Waiting for Superman.

 

[JamesMom]

OP Here -

Why did I put John's Name in?
1) To increase James chances of getting in. The inaugural classes were selected in sequential grade order with upper class siblings being automatically accepted. Therefore, if John was selected in fourth, then James would be accepted in tandem. This scenario no longer applies.

2) At the beginning of the year I might have considered sending John as well. A new school, a new year with months (March to Aug) to prepare him. But to spring this on him, a child who thrives on structure, is very upsetting. The class is well established in its routines, workload, and friendships. He would be the 'new kid' not knowing the rules, especially the unspoken ones. This would freak him out as he dislikes being the center of attention at his own birthday party (not shy - its his Autism). Plus it is a tri-lingual school. He would be behind not only in English, but also Spanish and chinese. This change would probably be too much for my little "Sheldon" (Big Bang Theory). And six weeks is not enough time to acclimate him.

Thanks for reading.

 

[stsomewhere]

I will tell you that charter schools are not the best for advanced students.

We moved my son to a charter school in 2 nd grade because he was advanced.

We put my daughter in the charter school for K-7.

When my son was in 7th and 8th grade, he started hating school. Grades slipping, hating the small class sizes.( 60 kids per grade).

9 th grade was the worst at the charter school. He was completely bored. He saw no use in doing th work. Funny thing is helped other kids in his class.
He did dual enrollment (college) for a semester.

10th grade. we moved him back to our local HS. It is not the greatest. But he thrived. He enjoyed the new social aspects of it. He joined school clubs and was i two school plays last year. He could take electives that interested him vs. limited oferings at charter school.

He is in 11th grade this year. He wishes that he would of switched sooner. He is taking 3 AP classes. He has made some great friends and is involved with school activities.

He needed to have the social experience of HS.. He is extermely smart. He just got a 30 on practice ACT.

Last year, my daughter was in 7 th grade at the charter school. She started hating school,too. We told her that she had to switch schools for HS.

She decided on her own that she wanted to switch in the middle of the school year. She loves it there.

This year( 8th grade) she is taking ALgebra and an advanced Lit. enrichemnt class, which she tested into both. She could of taken Spanish as an elective but decided to take choir instead.

 

[dis-happy]

He went from no. 180 to being called up? Where was he in the list at the beginning of the year? I'd be concerned that so many kids dropped out first semester. Maybe it's not such a great school environment after all. Food for thought.

 

[NHdisneylover]

He went from no. 180 to being called up? Where was he in the list at the beginning of the year? I'd be concerned that so many kids dropped out first semester. Maybe it's not such a great school environment after all. Food for thought.

I wondered about this as well.

 

[trip]

He went from no. 180 to being called up? Where was he in the list at the beginning of the year? I'd be concerned that so many kids dropped out first semester. Maybe it's not such a great school environment after all. Food for thought.

My guess is that since it is a new school, a lot of parents signed their children up for the lottery just to see if they would get in. If they didn't get selected for the fall semester they either decided to stay where they were or found a different school. It's not that they dropped out of the school the first semester it's that they dropped off of the waiting list.

 

[Hrhpd]

I will tell you that charter schools are not the best for advanced students.

We moved my son to a charter school in 2 nd grade because he was advanced.

We put my daughter in the charter school for K-7.

When my son was in 7th and 8th grade, he started hating school. Grades slipping, hating the small class sizes.( 60 kids per grade).

9 th grade was the worst at the charter school. He was completely bored. He saw no use in doing th work. Funny thing is helped other kids in his class.
He did dual enrollment (college) for a semester.

10th grade. we moved him back to our local HS. It is not the greatest. But he thrived. He enjoyed the new social aspects of it. He joined school clubs and was i two school plays last year. He could take electives that interested him vs. limited oferings at charter school.

He is in 11th grade this year. He wishes that he would of switched sooner. He is taking 3 AP classes. He has made some great friends and is involved with school activities.

He needed to have the social experience of HS.. He is extermely smart. He just got a 30 on practice ACT.

Last year, my daughter was in 7 th grade at the charter school. She started hating school,too. We told her that she had to switch schools for HS.

She decided on her own that she wanted to switch in the middle of the school year. She loves it there.

This year( 8th grade) she is taking ALgebra and an advanced Lit. enrichemnt class, which she tested into both. She could of taken Spanish as an elective but decided to take choir instead.

You cannot judge all charter schools by your experience with one.

The k-12 charter school in our district is not only ranked the #1 school in our state, in the yearly nationwide rankings, it ranks in the top 25.

My kids have tons of friend that have gone and absolutely loved it, most of them the very advanced kids as this school could meet their needs.

There is a long waiting list and a lottery to get in. Most people put their children's names in during Kindergarten, hoping to eventually get in by middle school.

 

[Hrhpd]

He went from no. 180 to being called up? Where was he in the list at the beginning of the year? I'd be concerned that so many kids dropped out first semester. Maybe it's not such a great school environment after all. Food for thought.

I wondered about this as well.

Since she said it was a lottery, it probably works the way the extremely popular charter school in our district works.

You put your name on a waiting list and you know your place on the list. However, this only means something after the lottery.

At the beginning of each school year, they take all the names on the list and throw them into a pool by grade. Then they pick the names, basically out of a hat, that will attend that year. So, #180 has just as much of a chance to win the lottery as #1.

Then, after the lottery, during the school year, is when the waiting list becomes effective. If, on the very rare chance somebody leaves the school during the school year, rather than holding another lottery, a sibling gets first priority and if there is no sibling, they take the next person on the list.

The next year, it all happens all over again again, everyone is thrown into the hat, including the new people on the list and available spots are awarded by lottery. If somebody ahead of you wins a spot, you move up the waiting list for the students who move out of state.

This is a district policy that every student has the same chance to make it into the school. We have several schools that have waiting lists and all of them have to follow the lottery process.

 

[JamesMom]

Since she said it was a lottery, it probably works the way the extremely popular charter school in our district works.

You put your name on a waiting list and you know your place on the list. However, this only means something after the lottery.

At the beginning of each school year, they take all the names on the list and throw them into a pool by grade. Then they pick the names, basically out of a hat, that will attend that year. So, #180 has just as much of a chance to win the lottery as #1.

Then, after the lottery, during the school year, is when the waiting list becomes effective. If, on the very rare chance somebody leaves the school during the school year, rather than holding another lottery, a sibling gets first priority and if there is no sibling, they take the next person on the list.

The next year, it all happens all over again again, everyone is thrown into the hat, including the new people on the list and available spots are awarded by lottery. If somebody ahead of you wins a spot, you move up the waiting list for the students who move out of state.

This is a district policy that every student has the same chance to make it into the school. We have several schools that have waiting lists and all of them have to follow the lottery process.

OP here - yes this is the process.

I know of at least 2 families who had older siblings admitted but not younger and therefore chose not to enroll (the automatic sibling worked only for older). Others simply decided it wasn't for them. BTW John was position 110 on the wait list AFTER the 144 were accepted. The brother was 180 wait list - just to clarify.
I recon that a family is moving for job, etc or maybe school isn't working out and they are calling people to fill the spot. Many might not want to move their kid mid year for maybe the same reasons I posted earlier.

Here is a link to a promo video for the Chinese exchange students, but explains the concept of the established 2 year old campus. There are three total campuses of this school. The one we applied, the latest, started only this year but plans to expand from K-8 to K-10 in annual increments. So it is an untested model, but it sure looks sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8hXA5WJ79g The first 45 sec are in Chinese then the rest of the 8 minute video is in english.

 

[NHdisneylover]

OK, thanks for explaining the system.

The only charter school lottery I am familiar with draws ALL names from the list and generates one, newly ordered list. They contact the first 25 (or however big the class size is) first, give them a week to decide to enroll or not and then contact the next on the list (so, for example, if your child was drawn as 27, odds are decent they will end up with a place since there always seem to be a few people who change their minds, and if your child was 30 they might get lucky of lots of people move, but if your child was the 100th name drawn odds are no space will open for them that year, and if it does, there is probably something very wrong with the school that so many kids left).

 

[Hrhpd]

OP here - yes this is the process.

I know of at least 2 families who had older siblings admitted but not younger and therefore chose not to enroll (the automatic sibling worked only for older). Others simply decided it wasn't for them. BTW John was position 110. The brother was 180 - just to clarify.

Here is a link to a promo video for the Chinese exchange students, but explains the concept of the established 2 year old campus. There are three total campuses of this school. The one we applied, the latest, started only this year but plans to expand from K-8 to K-10 in annual increments. So it is an untested model, but it sure looks sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8hXA5WJ79g The first 45 sec are in Chinese then the rest of the 8 minute video is in english.

I would give your son a chance. If he enrolls in January, nobody says he has to stay until the end of the year if he is miserable.

You will never know if he will enjoy it or not unless you give him a chance. Give him the month of January and perhaps part of February to get his feet under him. If he still hates it, pull him out and home school him again.

But don't underestimate his abilities. With his ASD, he will have more challenges, so get to work with the school right now to have a concrete IEP in place when he starts to help him succeed.

It is not a life sentence. You have the power to pull him out any day, at any time if it goes south.

 

[JamesMom]

I would give your son a chance. If he enrolls in January, nobody says he has to stay until the end of the year if he is miserable.

You will never know if he will enjoy it or not unless you give him a chance. Give him the month of January and perhaps part of February to get his feet under him. If he still hates it, pull him out and home school him again.

But don't underestimate his abilities. With his ASD, he will have more challenges, so get to work with the school right now to have a concrete IEP in place when he starts to help him succeed.

It is not a life sentence. You have the power to pull him out any day, at any time if it goes south.

OP here -

I discussed this with him already. He can just try it out for a couple of weeks. He might like it. Led to 30 minute sobbing session of terror. I was briefly thinking of just signing him up on Monday without his knowledge and wait to see if he would warm to the idea by January, but that wouldn't be fair the to next family who might be ready to go now.

 

[Hrhpd]

OP here -

I discussed this with him already. He can just try it out for a couple of weeks. He might like it. Led to 30 minute sobbing session of terror. I was briefly thinking of just signing him up on Monday without his knowledge and wait to see if he would warm to the idea by January, but that wouldn't be fair the to next family who might be ready to go now.

I am not sure I would be allowing a 9 year old to be making the decisions on his education nor his medication. Input yes, but making the final decisions? Nope, not a chance. How does he know he is not going to like it? Has he even toured the school to see how he likes it?

I think you have a lot of questions to ask yourself, especially for your older son. It sounds like you have done a great job catching him up to grade level. Spanish 1 and 7th grade math is pretty normal for a 12 year old. Or is your 7th grade math a bit different? The video says it is more rigorous than surrounding schools. Most advanced 12 year olds I know are taking Algebra 1 or Geometry and past the first level of a language, so I would assume that this would be the level of math and language this school would be close to. Will your child be struggling if he is at grade level right now? Will he be stressed in a rigorous school?

Absolutely saying he is not ready as we don't know him, just posing some questions you may want to think about, the same questions I would ask myself of my children.

As for your 9 year old, it sounds like it is highly, highly structured, perhaps a great fit for somebody on the ASD spectrum.

Since you only have till Monday, I would sign the papers. You can always withdraw in a week and still give the next person plenty of notice. And then I would do some serious exploration, taking both your boys for a tour to see if it is a good fit for them.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

You are the parent and you should be the one making the decisions.

 

[SirDuff]

While I would, normally, agree that an 8-year-old should be able to have total control over schooling, it sounds like the OP agrees that the school isn't a great fit for him. The only reason for sending him is so that his older brother can get into the school. Is it really fair to force him to go somewhere he doesn't want to go and possibly end up back on medication (which is what some PP are suggesting) so that his brother can go to the school?

 

[Hrhpd]

While I would, normally, agree that an 8-year-old should be able to have total control over schooling, it sounds like the OP agrees that the school isn't a great fit for him. The only reason for sending him is so that his older brother can get into the school. Is it really fair to force him to go somewhere he doesn't want to go and possibly end up back on medication (which is what some PP are suggesting) so that his brother can go to the school?

I definitely agree. But if the OP is only hesitant, which is sounds like, because the 9 year old started crying, I would want to do a bit more exploration before making a decision.

If it were me, since the papers are due on Monday, I would sign the papers, do more research, take the boys for a tour, and if it still is not a good fit, withdraw in the next couple of weeks. The next person on the list will would have plenty of time and notice.

As for meds, I hate that there is such a stigma for ADHD meds. There is absolutely no stigma for a properly diagnosed ADHD condition. It is a medical condition, a brain chemical inbalance. The meds regulate the chemicals. If you have hypothyroidism, you take synthroid. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. No difference. This coming from a mom that withheld drugs from my child because of the stigma and him not wanting them. He finally went on them late in high school and he says it made such a difference in his life. I regret to this day not being more forceful and letting him control the situation. So does he. But this is just my perspective. OP knows her children best.

But

But the OP knows her children the best. It is ultimately her decision.

 

[JamesMom]

OP here -

Thanks for all the new comments.

It has taken me four tries to compose this post. The earlier ones gave more history as to why James is advanced and why John didn't just turn on the water works to get his way.

As their parent, I am well aware of both their abilities and weaknesses. I don't have rosy glasses on concerning them.

The bottom line is that as a family, parents, extended family, and yes, the child himself, have determined that he is not ready for a classroom environment for multiply reasons.

But I am still mourning what could have been despite knowing this is the best thing for our family at this time.

 

[ellone]

As for meds, I hate that there is such a stigma for ADHD meds. There is absolutely no stigma for a properly diagnosed ADHD condition. It is a medical condition, a brain chemical inbalance. The meds regulate the chemicals. If you have hypothyroidism, you take synthroid. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. No difference. This coming from a mom that withheld drugs from my child because of the stigma and him not wanting them. He finally went on them late in high school and he says it made such a difference in his life. I regret to this day not being more forceful and letting him control the situation. So does he. But this is just my perspective. OP knows her children best. But But the OP knows her children the best. It is ultimately her decision.

As for medication, I am ok as long as they are a last resort after you have tried a chemical-free/organic diet. We have been at Disney for a week and I see the changes that artificial colors and chemicals make in my daughters (we avoid them at home). I can't imagine letting them eat this all the time, it makes them so much harder to control. I think many of the ADHD kids could be cured or controlled simply by diet. Outside the U.S. Some countries actually have a warning on foods with artificial colors stating that they are linked to ADHD.