Vent needed...advice appreciated

[simba928]

I have been having some issues with one of my supervisors at work (I work in 2 different areas so I have 2 supervisors, one for each area and then the big boss that's over everybody). The one I'm having issues with is the supervisor in the area I've been working in the longest. Anyways, all these issues came to a head on Saturday. This supervisor made a comment to me in an incredibly nasty tone, in front of my other supervisor and several other employees. I attempted to do my job the rest of the day and avoid this person. At one point, though, I ended up in an area where it was just me and this person and this person, out of nowhere and completely on their own, denied being mean. I just said ok and walked out.

I really don't like this person and I don't think they like me, though somedays they act like we're great friends, it just depends ontheir mood. I love my job, though, and really like most of the people I work with (most of the time, atleast, we do have our moments of annoyance with eachother but generally they are a really fun, great group of people). Saturday was the first day I have ever considered quitting this job. I hate having to constantly tip toe around this person and it really makes for a not so fun day.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm really trying hard to not let this person affect me and up until the last few days I was very successful with it. Now for some reason I'm just having a really difficult time letting it go. My other supervisor knows my issues with this supervisor. The other supervisor has seen it and I've talked to them about it. The "big boss" also knows about it, but I don't think they know the actual extent of it. And I'm not the only employee with issues with this supervisor. Everyone else has been the target at some point, I just seem to be the target right now. I've seen several of my coworkers cry and contemplate quitting because of this.

Sorry, I just had to vent. Any thoughts or advice on how I can just let it go and not let it get to me so much would be much appreciated.

 

[kwelch10377]

Do you have an HR dept. that you can go to? If so I would speak with them.

If you don't I would ask the big boss if you can talk to him and fill him in on all the details on the extent of the issue and seek his advice on how to proceed.

If the big boss chooses to ignore and/or nothing changes your only real options are, just put up with it and be professional towards this person or look for a new job.

 

[simba928]

No HR department, unfortunately. It's a really small place, about 15 employees, some of which only work a few hours a week. I have anent this week that I'll be able to talk to the big boss at without this supervisor being there so I may try to say something then if I can. If not I may ask to talk to her about it. I hate being put into a position where I have to kind of "rat on" somebody though. I really need to work on being more assertive in these cases.

 

[aaarcher86]

No HR department, unfortunately. It's a really small place, about 15 employees, some of which only work a few hours a week. I have anent this week that I'll be able to talk to the big boss at without this supervisor being there so I may try to say something then if I can. If not I may ask to talk to her about it. I hate being put into a position where I have to kind of "rat on" somebody though. I really need to work on being more assertive in these cases.

I would maybe just ask the other supervisor or the big boss how you would go about filing a formal complaint against someone. That will at least open up the conversation. It's not really ratting someone out. It's an ongoing issue that needs to be addressed.

 

[jedijohn]

You could set fire to the building like in the movie "Office Space". You could also take a gun to work and shoot up the place; the police typically discourage this though. Both are effective ways of dealing with anger in the work place.

 

[disneyquestions]

Personally, if this is really bothering you, I would either go to HR or the "big boss" and let them know what has happened, and how you are feeling about it. Nothing will get done otherwise. Good luck.

 

[simba928]

You could set fire to the building like in the movie "Office Space". You could also take a gun to work and shoot up the place; the police typically discourage this though. Both are effective ways of dealing with anger in the work place.

While I'm sure that method works for some and it would certainly be a big bang to kick off my new assertive self, I really think an alternate method would be beneficial in my case since I like my job and the people there other than this one supervisor. I'm also young and would prefer not to spend the rest of my life in jail because I made a couple cops got a little ticked, being that those methods may be frowned upon and all...

 

[OceanAnnie]

I have been having some issues with one of my supervisors at work (I work in 2 different areas so I have 2 supervisors, one for each area and then the big boss that's over everybody). The one I'm having issues with is the supervisor in the area I've been working in the longest. Anyways, all these issues came to a head on Saturday. This supervisor made a comment to me in an incredibly nasty tone, in front of my other supervisor and several other employees. I attempted to do my job the rest of the day and avoid this person. At one point, though, I ended up in an area where it was just me and this person and this person, out of nowhere and completely on their own, denied being mean. I just said ok and walked out.

I really don't like this person and I don't think they like me, though somedays they act like we're great friends, it just depends ontheir mood. I love my job, though, and really like most of the people I work with (most of the time, atleast, we do have our moments of annoyance with eachother but generally they are a really fun, great group of people). Saturday was the first day I have ever considered quitting this job. I hate having to constantly tip toe around this person and it really makes for a not so fun day.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm really trying hard to not let this person affect me and up until the last few days I was very successful with it. Now for some reason I'm just having a really difficult time letting it go. My other supervisor knows my issues with this supervisor. The other supervisor has seen it and I've talked to them about it. The "big boss" also knows about it, but I don't think they know the actual extent of it. And I'm not the only employee with issues with this supervisor. Everyone else has been the target at some point, I just seem to be the target right now. I've seen several of my coworkers cry and contemplate quitting because of this.

Sorry, I just had to vent. Any thoughts or advice on how I can just let it go and not let it get to me so much would be much appreciated.

I think the direct approach is best. She "knows" she was being mean. The tone + announcing the issue in front of others, isn't professional. Next time, (and it seems like there will be a next time) she denies being mean, ask her how she would like to addressed that way. And tell her, "In the future I'd like to be informed about issues in private."

No HR department, unfortunately. It's a really small place, about 15 employees, some of which only work a few hours a week. I have anent this week that I'll be able to talk to the big boss at without this supervisor being there so I may try to say something then if I can. If not I may ask to talk to her about it. I hate being put into a position where I have to kind of "rat on" somebody though. I really need to work on being more assertive in these cases.

You should be treated with respect at work. Stand up for yourself. She shouldn't get away with treating you that way.

 

[kmccain]

I would tell the "Big Boss" what happened to you but be careful how you approach the issue so he doesn't get defensive. He may be more receptive if you tell that how this person treats people, then what happened to you.

 

[quentina]

With no HR dept, I would write a formal complaint so that it is logged. Make sure it is facts only, no emotion. List specific incidents, dates and times if available and witnesses.

Present to big boss and make a copy for yourself.

 

[Lucky4me]

Go get the book "Dealing with difficult people".
There is one (or more) in every workplace, so quitting won't help. There will be one (or more) at the next job. It's a given.
If the company is that small, a formal written complaint will most likely not get any attention.

It sounds like you all need to get together and somehow put the bully in his/her place.

 

[Pakey]

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I'm over the HR Dept where I work and we have this complaint all of the time. I would make a complaint in writing. If nothing is addressed, I would look for another job. Allowing employees to be poorly treated comes from the top, whether it's 15 employees or 1500. Most often it's not illegal but there are companies who care and then there are those that don't. You have to decide what's best for you.

 

[simba928]

Thanks for the advice. It looks like I'll have to talk to my "big boss" about it. I was thinking about it, though, and I honestly don't know that my supervisor realizes they're doing it. They have some health problems and the issues with them have alot to do with the health issues. I don't think that is a good reason to treat employees like this but I feel that it does give this person a bit of a pass.

 

[manning]

Go get the book "Dealing with difficult people".
There is one (or more) in every workplace, so quitting won't help. There will be one (or more) at the next job. It's a given.
If the company is that small, a formal written complaint will most likely not get any attention.

It sounds like you all need to get together and somehow put the bully in his/her place.

I remember someone telling me once "if you quit and go to another company, the only thing that changes are the names."