Vent - family and DVC

There's a lesson in there that has been discussed before on the BBS. That is to avoid creating unreasonable expectations of those around you. That's one of the reasons some people don't even tell their family they own DVC. Time to set the record straight else you're going to have hard feelings in the future. Good luck.
 
One problem I have is all my family lives near us!


My parents, my brother, his parents, his brother - all live in the same metro area!

Hard to get away if you know what I mean!

All of our family lives near us as well, all the more reason to take a vacation - just the 4 of us!:p

We have never invited other family members with us to WDW & rarely the beach. This is our time to get away. DH & I also don't like traveling in groups, there's always that one person who's hard to please.

I have an uncle that wants to take his Grandson & mentioned everyone going in a year or so. Now, we will probably go, on our points & stay just the 4 of us. I will help them to get the best deal at a WDW resort or help them to rent points for DVC. But, I will want some distance, for some reason, any time my family goes on trips together - someone always ends up mad - DH prefer to avoid all that!
 
Originally posted by lenshanem
I told him I had used up all my points and that the next year I'd only have enough to cover one small trip with just my family. I told him if they wanted to go I could help them find the best deal.
Shan - what was his reaction to your response?

:sunny:
mel
 
We actually have the opposite problem. Our families won't go with us :( And we are extremely close and love being around each other - or so I thought ;) I had reserved a Grand Villa for our sons third birthday, and no takers really except Gram who had helped us buy in anyway and was planning to vacataion with us just to help with the boys. She actually doesn't like vacations, but that is another story...

I think you are just going to have to lay it on the line and tell everyone the deal. Maybe even just go into a whole points explaination - how they work, how many you have, senarios, cost - just go on and on and on. Seriously. They will glaze over I bet and just say, "Oh." They will back off just to keep you from talking about it all. That tactic works with our three year-old too. If we go on and on with an explaination, he is kind-of stunned and quits acting bad and gives in to our way of thinking!

Anyway, good luck with this. I actually think honesty is the best policy in this case.


Char
 

I also think honesty is the way to go, but I wouldn't get into a big explanation about how DVC works. Just tell them that you can't afford to treat them to free rooms every time. I'd also have a print out of rack rates handy so that they know what the rooms go for. You can say that because you paid up front for DVC, you don't actually pay those rates to stay, but the rooms aren't free to you either. (I wouldn't do that for parents, but I sure would for siblings, friends and anyone else).

That would work with my family, but most of them already know that and try very hard to "pay us back" by buying meals, renting the car or otherwise expressing appreciation. Those that don't either haven't been invited to begin with or aren't being invited again.

Anyway - good luck!

Why is it so easy for use to express our opinions here and so hard to talk to family about them? You know, the people who love us the most? :teeth:


Best wishes -
 
Originally posted by lenshanem

Even his brother didn't say - Great, we're going to VB! Instead he was disappointed we could only spare enough points for three nights.


Now's your chance to educate the family on the true cost of their free vacation. Have hubby tell his brother that you only have enough points for 3 days, but the cost is however much in dollars, and he is more than welcome to pay for the extra days and stay longer.
 
I love that my family lives close to us. (Not too sure about the inlaws, though! ;) )

I enjoyed taking my parents along. I just think we have now set ourselves up with everyone already assuming this is a given, especially with both our younger brothers.

I would love to share, but we just don't have the points and are now already in the hole.

My Dad works in the hotel industry and doesn't get the value of DVC. I mentioned what a typical room would have cost and he didn't think it was worth it. But that is another story...
 
/
We have owned at OKW since 93. Most of our large family also lives in the same town as we do. We did a family trip, taking along several family members at the very beginning of our DVC membership. I learned then that this was a big mistake. Although, everyone we take falls in love with DVC, we decided we were putting everyone first, before us. The whole purpose of DVC membership is for you and your family. We love our family, but they don't really understand that we do pay for vacation with dues, etc. They just look at DVC as free accommodations. We feel we need the break from our family and we now invite who we want and when we want. Don't let anyone guilt you into taking them. Remember you have worked hard to pay for your membership and you are entitled to enjoy it. It's so easy to get caught up in inviting everyone because you love DVC so much, but remember, this is your time with your family to make your memories. So, simply stop now before it becomes too late and it becomes an expectation from family members that they go with you. Just simply tell them that you feel that for the next several trips, it will be just your family due to points. Don't offer any other explanation. If you really want any of them to come along because you enjoy vacationing with others as well as your family, go on line and let them know the cost of vacation packages and/or rooms at the various resorts and let them know you would love to plan a trip with them at the same time, but you just don't have points to cover anymore than your family.
 
Originally posted by lenshanem
One problem I have is all my family lives near us! :eek:

We have the opposite problem - most of our family lives around FL so when we go to WDW they think it's their time to invade our accommodations so they don't have to drive each day to WDW or pay for parking. When we explain this is OUR time to get away from the real world they get upset that we should miss them as much as they miss us (since we don't live close) and we should want to share some time with them.

Can you say guilt trip?

Since we are new to DVC (just stayed for the first time at SSR) we will be experiencing the family sharing of DVC for the first time this Thanksgiving at Hilton Head. This should give us a good idea of whether we'll offer to share our DVC with family in the future or keep it as our own oasis. ;)
 
Not for anything, but..... you are the one who bought the "timeshare", not the whole family. I love my family and we are very close, but they understand that I have my OWN family and that our vacation usage is for us mainly, and that if and when we can take them it would be a treat, not an expectation. My parents own a timeshare, and they don't expect to take us/or give it to us, every year - rarely in fact. My sisters don't expect it either, and even though I've invited them, our schedules are too different to put it together (which isn't a bad thing, considering my DH does not get along with my BIL, and visa versa). If I were in your shoes, and this is just MHO, I would have a heart to heart talk with them, and explain that as much as I love em, I can't do this every year, or even every other year. Maybe they'd want to chip in with each other to purchase their own points, so everyone could meet there?! Anyway, hope all works out well with you -
 
I, too, have an ingrate for a sibling. We asked my sister, her husband and three kids to accompany us day after Christmas at BWV (our home). Got a 2 bedroom (which hubby and I certainly don't need) and stayed 4 nights. Didn't even get a thank you from one member of their family. In fact, when we went out to dinner the first night, she whipped out a calculator to figure out what we owed! Mind you, we weren't expecting them to buy us dinner or anything, but geeze...how cheap was that - there were only two of us. That was the first and last time that they will ever be our guests.
 
Family issues will come up no matter HOW you try to handle it. Shan, I forgot to tell you, although I have posted ages ago about this... My sister lives in Alaska and we don't get to see her very often. Every single trip I ask her to join us. When we travel with my parents (we bought DVC with them) we get a 2-bedroom which sleeps 8 and we are just 6, so there is always room. But lori doesn't like the heat and says we do stuff she doesn't like to do. She doesn't like WDW and would only want to SHOP the whole trip... So she always declines and of course I understand although I think she is crazy.

Now what bugged me was my Mom. She started saying that we all get vacations and poor Sis does not, so we should give up some points to her for a "non-Disney" trip through DVC. I went nuts when my Mom said this. I got very defensive and stood up to her and said that as Sister was invited on every trip but had declined, and as the most economical use of points was ON Disney property, there was NO way I was sacrificing precious points so Princess (also the youngest!) can go on vacation without us, who-knows-where! I told my Mom if she felt bad, she could bankroll a trip somewhere for Sis, but no one was touching those points (thank God they are in my name!!!) Every little point is precious to me -- I am like Gollum with the darn ring in "Lord of the Rings" -- and no one is taking any to go somewhere without me! It hasn't come up again. :)

Families are crazy!
 
Every little point is precious to me -- I am like Gollum with the darn ring in "Lord of the Rings" -- and no one is taking any to go somewhere without me!
:hyper: Love that, Colleen!
 
That was funny Colleen, I can just picture Gollum sitting there saying "My precious!" I am the same way with points. The way I look at it is if someone has ever asked us along on vacation, we would reciprocate. You learn very quickly after buying DVC all the people who want to tag along on your vacation. Most of these family members hardly talk to us during the year. Lifes too short to have your vacation ruined by people you really don't enjoy the rest of the year, not just during our "precious" vacation family time.
 
That's a really nice car you bought! Gee I could sure use it next week when I drive to Texas...mine has a few miles on it.

Those are great earrings your husband got you for Christmas. I've got dibs on them for New Years Eve!

Seriously, in the interest of convincing our families what a great deal DVC is, we often seem to do too good of a job. Level with them, Shan. Tell them you've gone into debt treating them and its going to take some time to dig yourself out of the hole. After you dig yourself out of the hole, you've learned your lesson and the treating will be more scarce.
 
colleen, that made me laugh so darn hard! :rotfl:

crisi, I also gave myself a good laugh after your post. I was like - What is she taking about? New car? Where did someone mention a new car... And then I was like - OH!

You could say I'm a little sleep deprived. (Kids have been sick.) I should really be in bed right now, but the DIS calls!
:rolleyes:

It doesn't matter - we have to get back out of the hole. As it is we're gonna be in major withdrawal next use year when we only have five nights to use and in a studio at that!

I don't mind hubby taking his dad to Braves spring training for a few nights, I don't mind taking my Mom with us to VB, but I think we're gonna have to set it right with the siblings or else I see huge potential for assumption!
I feel bad I got mad at my brother, but it bugs me the way he asked me in front of his new girlfriend. I dunno.

I appreciate all the opinions!
 
Ah family.... As the saying goes,

"You can pick yer clothes, and you can pick yer nose, but you can't pick yer relatives..."



We have been on both sides of the family fence. When my sis bought DVC, DH and I thought she was certifiable -- what was she thinking? Wasn't that like a timeshare? Perish the thought. Then she let us stay at an OKW studio for 2 nights one spring when we were traveling through Fla. on SPring Break -- oooo, well this is nice! Later she invited the whole clan for xmas as a gift to my mom (18 of us, to be exact, with some very extreme ingrates among the crew). DH and I would at least always chip in for all the food, take sis and BIL and their kids out for a dinner, etc. HOWEVER -- I admit it -- we were still DVC-morons all the while. I could NOT, for the life of me, understand why my sister was making such a big deal out of what size rooms to get, and whether or not she should keep the room past xmas day (xmas was a Friday that year). Friday night -- what's the big deal, I thought. ANd why get studios? Get the 2 brs, let folks stretch out. Oh me of little knowledge. And this was before I had my 3rd child, so I'd like to think I had SOME brain function still left... but maybe not.

It was on our next trip with DVC sister that DH and I looked at each other and said, "Hmmm. Maybe we should do this?" We liked it well enough to want it for our own -- without having to wait for the invitation. And that's when we "went to school" and suddenly learned how the whole thing works. (I have since apologized profusely to my sister about my ignorance of the Friday night stays and points!)

So we joined. We have since taken my mom on a trip with us (DH's folks can never seem to go). And we took DH's brother, SIL, and their son for over a week a few yrs ago. Imagine my face when I casually said last summer, "We're planning a WDW trip for 2004" and the next thing I knew, they were coming with us? I tried to convince them out of it (after all, they were expecting a baby, and I just couldn't fathom a baby at WDW in August). They in turn offered to pay for "more points" (thinking we could buy just a few, I guess?) I tried to explain how purchased pts and rental pts worked, and to give them a watered down "DVC-101", but I could see their eyes glazing over -- they didn't "get it". Hey, I know that look -- I may have even invented that look -- I've certainly worn it before. I could just see them thinking, "And WHAT was all that mumbo-jumbo about Friday nights, for Pete's sake?" You say banking, borrowing, points and dues -- they say, "Zzzzzzz..."

In the end, we struck a compromise. We had them pay for a room for a Sat night and we gave them in return 8 nights in a BWV std view 2 br with us. (A great deal for them, I'd say...) We could have stayed at AS or PC or such, but we went instead to a DVC resort (BCV) and got a studio and 1BR. I strongly advocate doing this -- make sure folks know, somehow, some way, at some point, what that rack rate is. It then sparked the conversation of "well how much does a room like this cost YOU?" We were then in a better position to explain that it certainly wasn't "free" and "limitless". DVC was not like winning the WDW lottery. We had our own costs, some initial (pts puchase), some continuous (fees). We explained that we had invested in the act of taking a vacation, as opposed to making it sound like we had "purchased" a piece of a WDW resort that was always there at our ready disposal, as much and how ever often we wanted. We don't "own" a villa -- we own a vacation, wherein vacation time is inversely proportional to room size. Longer vacation -- get by with less space. Need more space for more folks? Will have to take a shorter vacation or vacation less frequently (perhaps skip a year altogether). With this initial knowledge now registering, they were soon asking the necessary deep and meaningful questions about DVC that would give them a much better grasp on what it is we actually own. We knew we had hit paydirt when SIL said that BIL had commiserated to her, "We will probably have to buy into this or something like it soon... we can't ride on my brother's coattails and generosity forever!"

I therefore like to give most folks the benefit of the doubt and assume they simply don't understand DVC and hence, make poor assumptions. These assumptions, in turn, may lead them to say or believe something that as a generous, DVC-savvy person, I might then misconstrue as selfish or rude. Ignorance truly is bliss.

I have found, too, that sometimes, the LESS I say about DVC, the better... some pearls should just remain in the oyster! I have already told DH that until we are practically headed out the door, I'm not telling family about my plans for our HHI trip! (Heck, I'm not even telling our own kids much about it, for fear they'll "leak" it!) Some things you have to hold as sacred, I guess!
 
We treated our family to a GV at HH last summer. And I am sitting here laughing at all the posts. I got up every morning exactly 11 months out and booked day by day. I planned our days, our meals, etc. My wake up came - when I was sitting in my bedroom watching TV, because my BIL liked some cross the country reality show - the name escapes me. Where as I wanted to watch some intellectual show - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. LOL

But they did treat us to dinner one night at the Boathouse. With the $20 off coupon from the resort. LOL

Believe it or not - can't wait for our next trip, just love them to death. 2044 here we come. LOL
 
In 2006 my dd and I wll be going to WDW with another mom and her dd. This is a fun 'ladies only' trip to celebrate the girls turning 13. I'm getting a 2-bedroom unit for the 4 of us. I had no problem doing this. No week-end nights involved so it wasn't a huge difference than the one-bedroom. When my friend asked me how much she would owe me I told her not to worry about it. No, she said. Figure out how much I would pay for my room and that's what I'll give you. Well, I didn't want to charge her the going rate for a studio. Understand, she stays only in deluxes and it wasn't a money issue. I just didn't feel right. So, it looks like I'll just ask her for $800. That will pay for airfare and at least one pass. And I know she's going to say that isn't nearly enough. It would be nice if everyone was so thoughtful!!!!
 



















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