Vent......don't read if you don't want :)

[jamsmom]

Okay, I am not perfect. Although I jokingly have said many times I am (and also sweet and innocent)...I know I have my faults.

I married the WRONG man, my high school sweetheart, divorced shortly after a year. Have a wonderful DS, though, from the relationship.

After my divorce, I swore up and down I would never "fall in love" and be in a position to be hurt again.

Met Jim 9 years ago......most know the story.

Well, my sister called today, to tell me she really thinks I need to go to counseling to determine why I choose the wrong type of men.

Okay, first- ex-husband- chose him because 1st love and wanted out of my parents house

Jim? Never expected anything to come of the relationship. Everyone thought he was great until April when he decided he wanted us to go our separate ways. He did tell me this weekend it has nothing to do with me, he justs wants no responsibilities for anyone. Granted, I knew when I met him he was not a "kids" person. Maybe I should have stopped it long ago when we started having feelings.


I know my sister called out of conern, but I allowed her to make me feel more like a failure than I already do! Even if I had the desire to go to therapy, which I have done in the past, I have no business spending money being unemplpoyed right now. She did volunteer to pay. She is also upset that last week when I was with them, I drank too much one night.........as did most the adults that night! But, talk turned to adult matters and I am more outspoken on certain subjects when I drink. I goofed, I admit that!

Sorry, just need to type and vent!

 

[Mermaid02]

He's an idiot ((((((hugs)))))

As for your sister- you had a 9 year relationship with this man. So you didn't live "happily ever after" that doesn't mean YOU did anything wrong. Maybe she should go to counseling to see why she needs to make you feel crappy. More (((((hugs))))

 

[Mskanga]

Carol, I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry for what you are going through and send you {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[Serena]

{{{{hugs}}}}

sisters mean well most of the time.

 

[tinaw]

A nine year relationship is longer than some people stay married! I don't see anything wrong with this relationship, but I'm sure there's more to the story than I know. I say take love as you find it and for as long as it lasts.

 

[wdwnutze]

Could it be that your sister is genuinely concerned about you and only wants to make sure you are ok? You shouldn't let her make you feel like a failure. Maybe you said some things when you had a few drinks that caused her to be concerned. I wouldn't be upset with her, rather would consider myself lucky that there is someone out there that cares enough for me to confront me and try to offer help if I need it. You have gone through a tough timeand sometimes it helps to talk about it.

 

[Pooh93]

You are not a failure. Sounds like you were blowing off steam when you had a few drinks. I've been known to do that myself once in a while. I'm sure your sister is concerned about you because she loves you. If you want to go to counseling to help you through this break up then do it. As far as because you pick the wrong men....I don't know. If you'd been married 8 x and had 6 or 7 kids, I'd probably say yes, you need counseling. I agree with tinaw. Many marriages don't last as long as you've been in this relationship. I've been married 10 yrs and it ain't easy! There have been times, I didn't think my own was going to make it.

Anyways, I'm rambling. {{HUGS}} to you in whatever you decide.

 

[browneyes]

It sounds to me like your sister just wants you to be happy and for you not to be hurt by anyone ever again. {{hugs}}

 

[springsteenmickey]

You may be attracted to the wrong guys but so be it, that is you. I mean sure you can go to counseling and pay someone to tell you how you should go after a certain type of guy and stay away from the wrong ones. But where does that get you? Who is to say that the man who falls into the ‘right guy’ category for you will be the guy that you are attracted to and will love. How many male friends have you known who were always there for you in one way or another, that you did or still do love but not in that way? The old case of “I just want to be friends” You need that spark or chemistry and that will hopefully lead to love. I believe that this comes from the attraction that we all feel for certain people or types of people out there. I really do not know if I am making any sense to you but what I am trying to say is that you are who you are and you fall for who you fall for. Like many have said, 9 years is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s not like there were 9 men in 9 years. Sad to say but in today’s day and age 9 years is a long marriage by some standards. Finally, I believe that if you are lucky enough to find love that you should grab it and hold on to it no matter how short or hopefully long it is. After all, as Rod Stewart sang in ‘No Holding Back”

“Ain't it better to lose in love than to never love at all?”

I wish you all the best

 

[kdibattista]

No advice... just thoughts and hugs!!!!