Vent/Cry re work and vacation . . . not really update p. 4, post 55

[RadioFanatic]

This may be long, so don't feel like you have to read, but I'm really getting down about this and need to just get it out. I know I should be happy that dh and I even have jobs in this economy, but we work VERY hard, long hours and really deserve our vacation time. My dh works in a field that is "different" in the government so that it is hard to plan things. I, on the other hand, work in a situation where you have to plan vacations in advance (as early as possible) so things don't get scheduled during your vacation time. Up until two years ago, we knew we could never take a vacation the first six months of the year bc of dh's job; and we worked our schedules from there. It always worked out fine.

The last two years have been heck though. Dh works LATE nights a lot; not really seeing our son Sun-thurs bc of his late hours. The six months is gone and it seems like whenever we plan a vacation; something happens so that it either gets cancelled and we are out A LOT of money and ruined a birthday (remember that post of mine?), changed or stresses us out to the last second until we know he can go. And when I mean last second, I'm talking night before we are to leave. And it's happening again. We are supposed to be leaving on thanksgiving for a great trip to WDW and DCL. We haven't gone this time of year since our honeymoon in 1998 and we are going to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary which is the first day of the cruise. We picked this time bc it has never been an issue.

Now not so much. DH just found out that the BIG big wig scheduled a VERY IMPORTANT meeting for ALL employees the second day of our cruise. So it's not like we could even fly him back and forth to attend it. And everything, as you know, is nonrefundable. So at best, it will be stress for us up until the minute we get on the flight down to Florida. At worst, it will just be DS and I going without him and the money lost for his fare, etc. Once again, I don't even get to discuss the trip with DH, which as you know is a part of the fun, bc it just stresses him out and I wouldn't do that to him.

So much for my much needed vacation.

 

[scrapquitler]

What would happen if DH told the bigwigs, "Sorry, I haven't had a vacation in two years, I'm planning to be on a cruise with my family, I won't be at that meeting. I can join in as a conference call from the ship, but beyond that, I can't participate".

And aren't government employees unionized? If they are I think the union might have something to say about this.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Couldn't DH offer to do his meeting via phone with someone putting their phone on speaker so he could hear and they could hear him or via the computer with conference chat. Both ways DH could be in the room and you would have to stay out until he said so to have a total quiet for him (a good selling point to his boss) or couldn't he just be honest with the company and ask to be filled in prior to or immediately after the vacation. He should make it known that he would make himself available to the company on their time/place schedule, just not during the vacation. Either way, good luck.

 

[DebD4T]

No advice, just

 

[minniecarousel]

It's a shame that an employee's time off is compromised like that! Is there someone he could talk to? I'm sure it's not worth being fired, but geez, a person needs time off once in a while!

 

[RadioFanatic]

Thanks guys. Unfortunately, without giving great details, this is the type of meeting where phone can't work. I wish I could explain further, but I wouldn't want to hurt dh in any way.

So it simply is up to his immediate boss whether he is "needed" but you don't want to not be too "needed" bc you then don't want them thinking you're not needed at all, KWIM?

But vacations are supposed to be fun things to look forward to. Lately, however, they have just added stress.

He does not belong to a union. You should see the amount of overtime/comp time he has bc he has worked so much. And he just got back from three weeks away from us too.

 

[SaraJayne]

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Sorry. I understand, similar situation. He has months of accrued leave time but there's never a good time to take it. I plan trips with other family and friends.

 

[WDSearcher]

Maybe for the time being, you need to not try to book something as hard-to-change as a WDW vacation and plan some "staycation" things a lot closer to home instead. It might make it less stressful and more fun to discover things closer to home and not have to worry about a last-minute bigwig meeting ruining plans and costing money.

I know it's not nearly as wonderful to plan a night at a national park near you or a couple of day trips to local spots as it is to think about a WDW vacation and a cruise, but if it eases the stress and still gets you family time, then maybe that's just the tactic for the time being?

Although, I will say (with the caveat of obviously not knowing the details of your DH's job), that if he's always made every other meeting and deadline he's been asked to make, that missing ONE should certainly not put him in the position of having someone say he wasn't needed at all. I would at least ask. They may not have a problem with it. And really ... the worst they can do is tell him that he has to be at the meeting and they're sorry about the vacation.

 

[Buckalew11]

deleted. Thanks RadioNate.

 

[RadioFanatic]

deleted per PP's request.

 

[Hannathy]

I think for now you shouldn't plan vacations so far in advance or unchangeable.

And I have to say this but I would have a lot more sympathy for you if you didn't have a ton of Disney vacations in your Signature. It doesn't look like you have missed taking a big vacation very often whether it was stressful or not to plan.

Many people are working without being able to get away right now and they haven't been away every year up till now. In fact my DH just told me he will be working all day Thanksgiving (prob 16 hrs so looks like late night pumpkin pie!)
and Christmas Eve and probs Christmas.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I think for now you shouldn't plan vacations so far in advance or unchangeable.

And I have to say this but I would have a lot more sympathy for you if you didn't have a ton of Disney vacations in your Signature. It doesn't look like you have missed taking a big vacation very often whether it was stressful or not to plan.

Many people are working without being able to get away right now and they haven't been away every year up till now. In fact my DH just told me he will be working all day Thanksgiving (prob 16 hrs so looks like late night pumpkin pie!)
and Christmas Eve and probs Christmas.

I totally understand what you are saying. That's why I said initially about happy to have jobs. But this is a newer thing which I agree I have to get used to. And bc my job is different, we have to plan in advance. I am allowed to be sad and I'm also sorry and sad for your family too.

 

[bettymae1121]

My only suggestion is that in the future, plan time off together but don't plan vacations that involve travel (or only local travel where your DH can drive back to the office for if something comes up). No it's not fair, but this way you get to spend time together as a family and if your DH has to go in for a meeting during your time off, you only miss a day instead of a whole week plus $$$ wasted on his canceled portion.

I understand how anoying it is not to be able to plan vacations at certain times of the year. My job I can't take off more than one or two days from between July and mid-October, and my husband can't ever get time from mid-november through new years (he also must work the holidays of t-day, xmas, and new years unless that holiday lands on his usual day off). So that means we can only take time off together from January through June and if it works out right, maybe at the end of October. Once we have kids it will be even tougher with the school schedule.

 

[mhsjax]

I think for now you shouldn't plan vacations so far in advance or unchangeable.

And I have to say this but I would have a lot more sympathy for you if you didn't have a ton of Disney vacations in your Signature. It doesn't look like you have missed taking a big vacation very often whether it was stressful or not to plan.

Many people are working without being able to get away right now and they haven't been away every year up till now. In fact my DH just told me he will be working all day Thanksgiving (prob 16 hrs so looks like late night pumpkin pie!)
and Christmas Eve and probs Christmas.

Deleted. Never mind

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That just sucks OP.

I have to agree with the others and say not "plan" so much in the future, you know?

It may be more expensive but sometimes you can get last minute deals that are great!

 

[RadioFanatic]

My only suggestion is that in the future, plan time off together but don't plan vacations that involve travel (or only local travel where your DH can drive back to the office for if something comes up). No it's not fair, but this way you get to spend time together as a family and if your DH has to go in for a meeting during your time off, you only miss a day instead of a whole week plus $$$ wasted on his canceled portion.

I understand how anoying it is not to be able to plan vacations at certain times of the year. My job I can't take off more than one or two days from between July and mid-October, and my husband can't ever get time from mid-november through new years (he also must work the holidays of t-day, xmas, and new years unless that holiday lands on his usual day off). So that means we can only take time off together from January through June and if it works out right, maybe at the end of October. Once we have kids it will be even tougher with the school schedule.

See this is what's becoming the problem. it used to only be certain times of the year - first six months. now it's definitely the first six months and then also the "you never know when it's bad until it's too late" to do anything about it in the last six months. thus frustrating, especially since my job is the exact opposite where I can go anytime of the year; however, I have to schedule vacation time far in advance so that other things don't get scheduled during the time we want to go.

 

[Lionqueen2]

I am so sorry about your vacation plans and hope that somehow things will work out for your family.

 

[robinb]

I think for now you shouldn't plan vacations so far in advance or unchangeable.

And I have to say this but I would have a lot more sympathy for you if you didn't have a ton of Disney vacations in your Signature. It doesn't look like you have missed taking a big vacation very often whether it was stressful or not to plan.

Many people are working without being able to get away right now and they haven't been away every year up till now. In fact my DH just told me he will be working all day Thanksgiving (prob 16 hrs so looks like late night pumpkin pie!)
and Christmas Eve and probs Christmas.

I'm sorry that your DH will be working on Thanksgiving . That being said for some of us (maybe you included) the only time we can spend with our spouses in while on vacation. My DH is usually gone on business trips Sunday night and returns Friday night. The only time we really have together is while on vacation. So ... while the number of trips may look like a lot, the number of hours & days actually spent with one's spouse over the year is not.

RadioFanatic: I hope things work out for you .

 

[Holly]

I'm sorry- what a bummer