Vent about Work "Friends" and lunch!

[Disney Debbie]

I work at a company that is mostly women. There are 9 of us in one section and all but 2 of those 9 go to lunch together just about every day. I am one of the 2 that don't go. We all get along fine - except for 2 who drive us all nuts - which has a LOT to do with why I don't go every day. The other 5 of the 7 that go (this sounds like a word problem!) are just as sick of those 2 as I am - but they got into the pattern of going everyday and don't know how to get out. Well, actually they do know how - but they're more worried about making someone they don't like mad then doing what they want to with their own lunch. (this is one of the things that drives me crazy about women - men rarely have this problem - because they don't worry to death about what everyone thinks of them - including people they can't stand! )

Anyway - I'm really getting annoyed that I can't just invite one or 2 people to lunch without the entire mob of people coming or without these 2 getting mad and their feelings "hurt". I don't really care if they're mad at me - but the girls I'd like to go to lunch with do. It's just gotten ridiculous! One of my friends had another one take her to drop her car off for an oil change and they went to lunch afterwards. One of these girls I don't like came up to her that afternoon and gave her this big guilt trip about how she thought that they were "true" friends and can't believe she "did" this to her. And they wonder why no one likes them!!

Anyway - just wanted to vent about it - I really don't expect anyone to solve this problem - because it's up to the other girls to break off every once in a while and I can't "make" them stand up for themselves!!

 

[RitaZ.]

(this is one of the things that drives me crazy about women - men rarely have this problem - because they don't worry to death about what everyone thinks of them - including people they can't stand! )

This is so true.

I don't care for hanging out with people whose company I don't enjoy. I'll be polite and be cordial, but I don't like to spend my free time with people I don't like. The problem is that I come off as a snob or you know, the "B" word. I also realize that there are people that may feel the same way about me and I'm fine with that. Oh well, sometimes you just can't win!

 

[bumcat]

I feel for you! Some of us went thru the same thing recently. Lucky for us the one person that caused a lot of trouble (or tried to, boss knew she was lying and making up crazy stories) no longer ask to go to lunch with us cause she knows she is not welcomed. She finally went way too far on some stuff.
The way I look at it: I need that 1 hr to unwind to be able to vent "safely" to my real friends without some vulgar hateful gossiper trying to cause trouble.
Try talking a couple of your friends into saying you guys are going shopping, running errands, etc and that you have no clue where you will end up to eat. If you can change your lunch time to later after she has already made her own lunch plans (maybe she will not feel like waiting).
We have around 20 in our dept and luckily only one trouble maker. She made her bed.....and I'm so glad that she did!
Good luck to you!