Vent about inlaws a little long

[Duckyiam71]

I don't know where to begin. I have never had a great relationship with my in laws. They moved to be grandparents to our children and lived here for 5 years. Then they got tired of being a minority in El Paso(they are reacist..ugh)! So they moved back to their retirement community in FL. My DH deployed in Feb. So me and the boys have been planning a DW trip since Jan. My in laws decided what a great opportunity to come pick up the boys and take them back to Port Charlotte after our trip. So I made the plane reservations, round trip for me and one way for the boys in Jan. On Sunday, we were informed that father in law was voluntarily taking a civlian job in Afghanistan. I had to tell the boys he would not be there in June. My DH 10 was just diagnosed with bi polar and got very upset and was sad because DH is not here now grandpa is not here. Well today, my father in law calls to inform that my mother in law cannot handle the boys for 2 weeks by herself so they cannot come. WHAT!? I am already stressed and this just sent me over the edge. I did a few prayers got on Southwest and fortunately got return seats on the same flight as me, call ME and added them to it as well. All good. Now I sit here thinking about how the extra $600 is going to effect our budget. Got really bummed. I still have to tell the boys they are not going to visit grandma for 2 weeks. I know they are going to bummed because they have been talking about it almost as much as DW. I dont understand how they could do this to the boys at a time where they are having a rough time. It is all about the money with them. They have moved 3 times in 5 years and my mom in law spends a lot of money on redcorating each house. That is why my father in law is going over there..he is retired but need the money so they afford the lifestyle she wants. I just needed to get this off my chest and thank you for listening even if you did not read.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

No words of wisdom; just sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Hang in there!

 

[Jdougherty]

If your military, call southwest back and ask for military fairs for your childern.
If might save you a little.

 

[Duckyiam71]

Thanks JDoughterty! I tried that but unfortunately they did not have them available for that particular flight. But in the end we are going to DW and we will be together and have lots of fun!

 

[badblackpug]

I don't know where your in-laws live in relation to WDW, but maybe grandma can come down and join you for a day or two?

 

[bumbershoot]

Oh I'm so sorry.

It is all about the money with them. They have moved 3 times in 5 years and my mom in law spends a lot of money on redcorating each house. That is why my father in law is going over there..he is retired but need the money so they afford the lifestyle she wants.

That sort of thing was part of the downfall of my own in-laws. FIL had gotten MIL used to a certain lifestyle, she was a snob, she continued to expect the lifestyle and he was too insert various words here to actually SPEAK to his wife and tell her that things had changed...he ended up doing some really stupid things to continue with their lifestyle...his last retirement (his third) was at 78...he died at 79 with NO life insurance, having stolen 20K from HER life insurance, without having filed taxes (though he had paid some quarterly taxes...but it turns out they do not care, they want it filed) in SIX years... She's paying for that now. Definite lifestyle change.

All because they couldn't have mature conversations about earnings and savings.

I hope your in laws don't go down that road, because it's a rotten road!



(Oh, and while FIL never went into war zones like your FIL going into Afghanistan, he was part of those civilian supply ships to the military, the big grey ones you see at big ports...so he would go right *near* the war zones to bring them supplies...it's all very similar, it seems.)



Good luck with your kids, and yes I hope that you guys can at least get MIL to come down to visit during your trip.

 

[dis-happy]

I'm sorry for the disappointment brought to your boys' lives. Sad for your IL's too, as they will never get this time and opportunity back with their grandchildren and will most likely regret it one day.

 

[disykat]

First, thank you for your service to our country. I know it is hard on your whole family!

I think once you get over feeling bad for your disrupted trip and the kids disappointment you'll realize that their decision wasn't about you at all. My first thought is that FIL probably feels good about being able to work in Afghanistan and in some way support his son's service. You will hopefully have many opportunities for the kids to visit their grandparents, but this may have been a once in a lifetime opportunity for him. For many people, retirement is difficult. Those who work by choice don't always do it just for the money. He may love your children dearly, but that two week visit might not necessarily make it worth to him to be permanently retired for.