Well, I will tell you my experience as I have asked the same questions and have tried different things. I had booked a standard room and was going to ask for an upgrade. I called about 4 times and talked to the hotel directly and Disney reservations directly. When I would ask Reservations they said I need to ask the hotel on the day of. Then I tried calling the hotel (to ask other questions and to throw in the upgrade thing) and I was told they do not do that and another time I was told I need to talk to reservations and they forwarded me to them..so it was a run around back and forth.
So for me since I REALLY wanted to get a fireworks view I just decided to upgrade and pay for it. Even then though you are not guaranteed a fireworks view (even if you pay) BUT reservations did add the fireworks view on my request in my reservation. I could not get them to do that until I paid for the upgrade. I know others had success just getting an upgrade by suprise or just by asking when you get there but I really worry too much and just wanted to make sure I got what I wanted. See if you can call reservations and tell them it is a special trip and if they could put your request in (even if you do not pay upgrade--you never know). I also think it depends on who you talk to. I have only had 1 person that was fantastic the rest were honestly quite rude or they were obviously new employees.
The last CM I talked to when I tried to upgrade told me there are no fireworks view rooms from GCH and that since i got a good rate on the room (not really IMO) that they could not upgrade me at all even if I paid. That made no sense whatsoever!!! She obviously did not know what she was talking about and had to get her supervisor involved and I finally got to upgrade to DTD view. On top of all this I was on hold forever twice during this call.
Other things you can do that are special are call the hotel and ask for Vacation Planning services. Tell them to email you a list of baskets, treats etc that you can pay to have delivererd to the room to suprise your daughter.
Then call them back and tell them what you would like to order. They add it to your hotel bill. I ordered some balloons, mickey rice crispy treats, and a wine and cheese basket for the day we arrive. Then choc covered strawberries one night and mickey cookies one night. They have a lot of options.
We are leaving tomorrow so I will come back and post about our trip.