Hi - we're also die-hard Disney veterans, but will be returning to Universal next August for the first time in over a decade. My youngest son is also 11, and I also have 13 and 14 year old sons as well. Last visit primarily focused on seeing the Barney show, playing in Fievel's playland, and holding a terrified 1 year old on ET. So I won't be much current help

.
But, I have been researching this for next year and it seems like the biggest advice I've gotten off these boards is to stay on site. If you do so, you get express access to all the rides - similar to Disney's fastpass, without having to actually get and wait for fastpasses. Universal also sells the express passes, for $15 to $50 per person, per park, based on time of year/crowds. I have to believe when we'll be there will be a high crowd time, so probably closer to the $50. Plus these give you only one pass per attraction, whereas if you stay onsite, you can use your room key at any attraction as many times as you want at both parks.
I just RPR booked through
AAA for one night only, which gives me 2 days of express pass for $191. We're actually renting a house in Emerald Island and will be paying for both that night, but pricing out express passes for 5 of us could be up to $250 per park with less access. Plus, the kids can have a fun night with a new, big pool and the hotels are supposed to be reallly nice.
If you don't want to go this route (I really wasn't planning on it at all until reading these boards and can still cancel up to 5 days prior), the rules are pretty similar to what you probably do at Disney. Look at the Universal website to figure out what rides you want to do, get there at park opening (or I've been told in the summer that Universal usually opens by 8:30 with a 9am park opening), and do them in order of popularity. Just by looking at them, you can figure out which ones are big ones (Hulk, Dueling Dragons, Spiderman, Mummy, etc.) I've read that Universal is huge compared to most Disney parks, so you want to avoid backtracking too much.
A lot may depend on you and your family. If your daughter probably won't want to do the big rides, you may not need express. My 3 are big rollercoaster fans, so I know will want to do them several times. If you haven't bought tickets yet, the current $85 special is cheaper than it's been in a long time and could go away at any time. The tickets are good until 7 days after first use so you can buy them now.
There was a really good show on the Travel channel a couple weeks ago that was a "behind the scenes" look at Universal (primarily IOA). We really enjoyed it, and I think it psyched the kids up a lot for Universal. Me too - I love Disney, but except for EE and Soarin (which we did many times at DCA), we've done it all. I think a couple days of new and different will be a nice change. And I think they're the right age and temperament now to really enjoy it (I'm not saying there was anything wrong with watching Barney 3 times in a row

but still!)
Feel free to PM me and/or keep in touch as we try to figure out all this "dark side" stuff!