Unfriendly neighbors

[just4today]

Have you ever lived near someone who just wouldn't warm up to you, no matter how friendly you were? I don't need to be BFF's with this person, but I would like to have a cordial relationship with all of my neighbors. It is exasperating.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I have been blessed. We are in our thrid house now, and we have always had neighbors who were as sweet as they could be. (a couple of the kids were another story for awhile.)I know the odds are that the next time we move, it may not be that way.

 

[LotsOfQuestions]

Have you ever lived near someone who just wouldn't warm up to you, no matter how friendly you were? I don't need to be BFF's with this person, but I would like to have a cordial relationship with all of my neighbors. It is exasperating.

They don't want to have a relationship with you.

I would respect their decision and leave them alone.

It is probably just as exasperating for them to continue to be approached by somebody when they have made their intentions clear.

FWIW - I am like you, I like to at least know our neighbors. But have learned that there are some neighbors that no matter what, just don't believe in associating with other neighbors.

 

[jax677]

I have had the same problem. When we first moved to this neighborhood I made sure to introduce myself to anyone I saw for the first time. Everyone is friendly except this one woman. She actually turned her back to me when I tried to introduce myself. Odd. She was only friendly with one family. Once they moved she stopped being social to anyone. Some people want to be alone.

 

[kelleigh1]

I'm sure I come across as somewhat unfriendly, but honestly, I'm just very busy. I work two jobs, so I'm not home very often. Hubby actually met more of the neighbors than I did when we first moved in because he'd run into them in the laundry room. Most of the time when these people see me, I'm frazzled from working all day and then trying to get errands done.

I'm also a bit on the shy side and really don't know how to meet new people. I have become friendly with the girl across the hall, but that was purely by accident. I locked myself out of my apartment one day and asked to borrow her phone to call maintenance. We don't hang out together (although we seem to have a good deal in common, so it wouldn't be uncomfortable, I'm sure), but we'll chat for a bit when we see each other. But with our schedules and other things going on, we just don't see each other all that often either.

 

[just4today]

They don't want to have a relationship with you.

I would respect their decision and leave them alone.

I am not trying to have a relationship with them. However, I do think since we live in a private subdivision with only a few houses, it would be polite for her to return my wave as we pass each other on our road. Instead she gives me the stink eye for no aparant reason. I feel as though I must have offended her inadvertently and I'd like the opportunity to at least know what I've done.

 

[jax677]

Wow, the stink eye, that is cold. Maybe she doesn't know she is giving off that impression. Or she is not a happy person and wants to stay that way.

 

[just4today]

Wow, the stink eye, that is cold. Maybe she doesn't know she is giving off that impression. Or she is not a happy person and wants to stay that way.

We actually have a few years worth of interactions since she moved to the neighborhood, but I'm sparing you the long story. I alternate between being bothered by her attitude and wanting to tell her to pull the stick out

 

[happily single]

My neighbors are all pretty unfriendly too. I've been there for 6 years and although some of the neighbors wave we aren't "friendly" with anyone but the dr across the street. He moved in about 2 years ago and will occassionally come across the street so his ds can play with my ds. The husband next door says hi, as do all of their extended family who are always over. However, the husband is "away" for a couple of months and I think the wife is trying to lay low to avoid questions. If she only knew I work for his attorney. lol

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Our new neighbors across the street have not yet even moved into their new home (they've owned it about a year) and all I know about them is that they don't like kids or animals. They bought this house (per another neighbor that actually met them once) to get away where no one would bother them. We do live in a quiet neighborhood but in our development everyone but 2 houses has school aged kids... and I'm pretty sure almost all of us have dogs.

My neighbors that actually live in their homes... I know some of their names They are all cordial and we smile and wave when we walk our dogs but I don't really "know" them.

 

[Todd&Copper]

When DH and I rented out condo, we had a two-faced witch neighbor. SHe was all nice and smiles, but was really passive-agressive about little things. Instead of just asking to do or not do something, she'd be a witch about it. The worst involved an empty garbage can that was not ours, that someone did not bring around to their backyard the evening after pick-up. She put it on our front porch the next day while we were at work. I dragged it back over to the corner b/c it wasn't our. She put it back on my front porch the next day, again while we were at work. We were all home both evenings, but rather than ask us about it, she assumed it was ours and God knows what she thought I was doing. Finally, I wrote a note in big, bold letters that that pail DID NOT belong to #38, and to please stop putting it on my steps. Magically, the real owner brought it to their back yard shortly thereafter. Either that, or the witch figured it was someone else's and dumped it on their front steps.

We found a great house and moved within 2 months. Good riddance to the sour pus.

 

[Chicago526]

Have you ever lived near someone who just wouldn't warm up to you, no matter how friendly you were? I don't need to be BFF's with this person, but I would like to have a cordial relationship with all of my neighbors. It is exasperating.

Maybe they're just shy? I think I sometimes come off as cold to people I just meet because I'm so shy and can never think of things to say.

 

[kellyg403]

Maybe she doesn't realize she is coming off this way. I do wave at all my neighbors when I drive or walk by. Other than the two ladies on either side of me I really don't know anyone in my neighborhood.

Its been a rough summer in my house. For lots of reasons. I walked alot this year and I know a couple times, the lady next door asked my why I didn't wave back. I honestly didn't see her I was so lost in thought. I don't know what to say other than you can keep trying or just assume she doesn't want to be friendly with anyone. There are definitely people out there like that.

Kelly

 

[KATHINOWA]

We have neighbors about 5 houses away. When they moved in a few years ago, one of the neighbors (extremely outgoing/friendly) invited them to a holiday party at their house. The new neighbors told her that they had enough friends and didn't need anymore! They have since warmed up and are friends with a few of the families on the block.

As a PP said, I find it hard to make friends. I'm not good at small talk and neither is my DH so it's difficult for us. A few of the neighbors are very friendly and we always feel left out. I don't think it's intentional because we're friendly with everyone (but not necessarily friends KWIM).

A simple wave isn't asking too much though.

 

[just4today]

Maybe they're just shy? I think I sometimes come off as cold to people I just meet because I'm so shy and can never think of things to say.

No, she isn't shy. She's very friendly with the other neighborhood moms.

Maybe she doesn't realize she is coming off this way. I do wave at all my neighbors when I drive or walk by. Other than the two ladies on either side of me I really don't know anyone in my neighborhood.

Its been a rough summer in my house. For lots of reasons. I walked alot this year and I know a couple times, the lady next door asked my why I didn't wave back. I honestly didn't see her I was so lost in thought. I don't know what to say other than you can keep trying or just assume she doesn't want to be friendly with anyone. There are definitely people out there like that.

Kelly

For lack of a better term, she is bi-polar with me. One day she'll smile and wave, so I know she does have facial muscles that allow her to smile, but those days are rare. Usually it's the stink eye. Her daughter is the same way with my DD at the bus stop.

I have spoken to her a few times to beg a ride home for my DD when I had an appointment. I've offered to pay for gas. I've offered to reciprocate, but she won't hear of it. And she's always cordial to my face, not overly friendly but cordial. I sent them a Christmas card with a $20 grocery store gift card last year in thanks for their help with providing rides a couple of times. Never heard a word back and I continue to get the stink eye. We both attended a school function last weekend and sat 1 row from each other. After the chill she's been giving me lately, I didn't say a word to her and she didn't either.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Basically I live in a very friendly nighborhood. All of my immediate neighbors , I at least know their first names and give them a friendly hi or wave or a quick chat if we are out in the yard working or at the mailbox at the same time.

The one exception is this one lady whose backyard partly backs up to mine. She is not friendly, she also hates my dogs (who rarely bark unless there is something big to bark at, they have even learned to ignore her cats that sit on my fence staring at them) and doesn't like kids. Her husband is the nicest guy. He told my kids to come over if they ever had one of their balls go over his fence but if they do and just the lady is home, she yells at them. If he's home too and she yells he just tells the kid to ignore her!

I have no idea why someone who hates children to the extent she does would move to a neighborhood that is one block from an elementary school and less than a half mile to both a jr. and sr. high school.

Nieghbors are a fine line. I don't want to be too close as that can get weird. I just want to be friendly and have us all look out for each other's homes and kids.

 

[just4today]

Nieghbors are a fine line. I don't want to be too close as that can get weird. I just want to be friendly and have us all look out for each other's homes and kids.

That is exactly how I feel about it. I am also a rather reserved person. The minimum lot size in our subdivision is 5 acres, which suits me just fine. I don't want to be best friends with this woman. But I do want to have a cordial relationship with all of my neighbors, and this has more to do with figuring out what her problem is with me. It puzzles me.

 

[kelleigh1]

I don't want to be best friends with this woman. But I do want to have a cordial relationship with all of my neighbors, and this has more to do with figuring out what her problem is with me. It puzzles me.

You may never know why she's giving you the cold shoulder.

I had this friend in high school and after we graduated, we ended up hanging out together a lot and basically became best friends. Then all of a sudden, about fourteen years ago, she stopped talking to me. To this day, I don't know why. And even when I tried to ask her, she slammed the door in my face and wouldn't talk to me. I honestly think someone else we knew told her something or things that weren't true and instead of asking me, her best friend, she assumed they were true and stopped speaking to me. (We knew this petty little woman who didn't like me at all and was always saying spiteful things about me to other people.)

I don't know the real reason we're no longer friends. Maybe I'll never know. But life goes on and even though I lost a friend, she couldn't have been much of a friend if she was willing to slam a door in my face.

Sometimes you just need to walk away and let it go.

 

[just4today]

Sometimes you just need to walk away and let it go.

You're right and I'm finally at that place. If I had seen her at a school function a couple of weeks ago I would have smiled and said hi. This time I just ignored her. But I still think it's sad. That really isn't the kind of person I want to be, kwim?

 

[FergieTCat]

My neighbor has decided, after 12 years, that my cats smell. He reports me to the Board of Health once every few months, complaining of a "vile odor that causes vomiting." (yes, that's a quote from the notice). Last year he tried to get me evicted.

Both the building and the Board of Health have found no grounds for the complaint.

Nice, huh?