Unemployed......hard at Christmas

[momxx5]

My DH lost his job in April, and after no luck finding a new job he went back to school and will start a new job in the new year. What a blessing.

I just wanted to post a shout out to others who are unemployed during this difficult time. Please know that you are not alone. It can be very hard during the holidays.

Along with Christmas, this month our car ins is due, life ins premiums and personal property tax on vehichles.

I honestly have no idea how we are going to swing gifts for the kids. I have 5 kiddos, ages DD7, DD11, DS13, DS14 & DS15. Having so many kids, Santa has always brought 1 gift per child and then a game or movie to share. Well as the kids get older it is harder to fill their wishes. The girls are going to be easy to buy for although a bit expensive. The boys are what I'm worried about. They are not asking for anything of great extravagance.........or are they. Oldest DS is asking for a tenor sax. He has played for over 4 yrs, using the school loaned one. He is even in a band and uses that sax. This year he was drum major of the marching band, a great honor for a sophmore and is in the jazz band. Looking around for months they are $400 for the cheapest used ones. DS14 is wishing for some new drum equipment, again expensive. I just feel bad probablly not being able to fufill this Christmas wishes. They are really great kids and do not ask for anything throughout the year.

Anyway, I just wanted others to know they are not alone and many prayers for you & your families.

 

[DawnM]

You sound like a great Mom and your kids will remember how much you wanted to buy it more than the actual item itself.

Do you have relatives that can pitch in a bit?

I too feel bad for those who have lost jobs. We are very thankful for DH's job. He was told no cost of living raise and no bonus for this year, but we are ok with that.

Dawn

 

[CarolinaMomOf3boys]

God bless you and I agree with the previous poster....in years to come...they really wont remember the 'tight holidays' but will remember the love you offer!

 

[happygirl]

I hope things turn around for you guys

 

[erincon23]

Hey MomXX5, we're unemployed too! How much fun! I only have two kids, but am wondering if the jeans I bought them today will be their Xmas gifts. DS17 is also asking for a tenor sax (which he's not going to get, it goes without saying)! But he needs a pro model -- upwards of $2500 --he is going to college next year in jazz sax. Try not to buy a $400 model (new) -- your son will not be happy. See if you can find a nice used student model -- you may still pay $400, but you'll get a better sax.

I found out last night that one of my brothers and his wife were both let go from their respective companies on the same day.. good thing they don't have kids, and they rent an apartment rather than own. It won't be as hard on them as it is on many of the rest of us.

I'm glad your hubby starts a new job soon! Hold on, you'll get through it.

Erin

 

[mum4jenn]

If you explain things to your kids they will understand that you can;t do as much this year. We had to explain all of this to our Dd last year because my Dh's hours last year had been cut WAY back and then the plant shut down totally with his job ending this past June. Anyway lasst year we sat Dd down and showed her our bills compared to what money we were bringing in and explained we just could not do a big Christmas. She understood and even came up with ideas to save money.

Have you cut back everywhere you can on your bills? We went through AAA to get our car insurance and we saved over $100 a month!!!! Also we pay this bill monthly so we don't have huge hit every 6 months. We also cut down as much as possible on phone, internet and TV. We ended up saving about$400 a month by cutting things down to the bare bones.

Good luck. Do explain things to your kids though...they will understand. Someone posted on another thread to make homemade gifts and to make coupon books for things like staying up late, game night, things like that.

 

[DisneyDazed]

Im with you in the unemployed department.... but my children are young and that makes it a bit easier to buy. Hang in there... things will look up. My DH told me one of his most favorite Xmas was when his Parents didnt have a great deal of money so their main present was a whole entire home made pie of their choosing.

Also for intruments. Look into the music conservatory if you have one. They often donate used ones in cases like this. Worth a shot.

 

[disneylover2005]

I'm right there with you. Last year my husband lost his job and after two months looking in a small town we moved to Denver and he got a job as a courier. We were paying a thousand a month in rent and had to pay for our gas money for his job. Well we werent bringing in as much to pay for all the bills and the gas so the gas went on credit cards, hoping more runs would come in. After six months we decided we were way in over our head and moved back home to california. We now live with my parents and my husband found a great job in august but come october they had lay offs and he was the first to go. We have a two year old and im sixth months pregnant.

I know how you feel, it has been really hard on us physically but mostly emotionally. It suck when you cant even pay your bills and then my son's birthday and christmas in here.

It's nice knowing we aren't alone and the best of luck to you.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I feel for all of you. My DH was laid off in mid-July. Since then it's been his unemployment and my part-time salary. I picked up our benefits which takes almost $600 off the top of my check each month but we are thankful to have benefits for us and our boys.

We will definitely be cutting back on gifts this year. I'm making gifts for my immediate family - shadow-boxes holding potholders that my grandma crocheted (she died 10 years ago). My dad is a woodworker and is making the boxes so that saves me a lot. My DH and I are planning to spend $100 on each of our two boys and no more than $50 on each other. I'll bake for the people at work and we probably won't send out as many Christmas cards this year. We tend to be good savers and have a pretty good cushion to draw from if we need it. But we want to save it for emergencies and not blow it on Christmas.

 

[mrsklamc]

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time this year. I am glad it sounds like your DH has something lined up for next year.

Have an honest talk with your kiddos- 14 and 15 is old enough to realize that $400 is not realistic this Christmas.

PP whose son is headed to college- make sure you know where he is going before you buy. You don't want to invest in, say, a silver colored horn when he needs a brass colored one or vice versa.

 

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

Thanks for the shout out! DH lost his job in July (we have post-poned our Jersey week trip indefinitely...) I have a part time job...We have 3 kiddos (11, 9 & 7) who are still believers...*sigh* And I always have gone all out for Christmas --- Santa brought lots, we gave very few gifts, so that's tricky.

I know the holiday is not about the gifts, but I always enjoyed making Santa's visit magical (like Disney magic). I just think it's fund and special -- and I dont buy them anything else really during the year so Christmas is always my big splurge!!! Ohe well. we'll see how it goes. I've been watching sales like crazy and they are easy to please

Anyhow, good luck to others who are in the same boat!!

 

[flowerpower]

I feel for all of you...

DH has been out of work since April 2008 and I had furlough days at work this year. We are still scraping by and thankfully, after months of no nibbles, DH had an interview last week and has another this Wednesday.

I grew up the oldest of five and my dad had a seasonal business. I remember when I was older my mom telling me they would buy items at yard sales and fix them up. Some things I distinctly remember: a metal ride on tractor with a wagon, a ride on train engine with a whistle that sounded just like a real train and a reel to reel recorder (I know, I'm dating myself). Siblings and I had a blast with those items and never knew any different.

Keep the faith..

 

[nunzia]

I'm sorry for all you're going through. Please don't feel bad about getting yourself on a list at a church or other organization this year to help out. I don't see your kids getting the big gifts they want, and I'm sure they'll understand, but there are many groups out there to help with things to make the holidays nicer for you.
I work at a church and you would not believe (or maybe you would) the number of people who constantly pop up and ask for money, food vouchers, etc. (well, asking isn't so bad...demanding is what we see alot of). Anyway, your family is the type organizations are eager for. You're having a hard time, and help is out there. I often say that the people who are out there really struggling and need the help the most don't come forward. Those that come forward are habitual users and takers. So, please check out organizations in your area that would love to help, and don't feel bad about it.
Maybe your kids can get those gifts if you put out the word to all the relatives what they'd like and see if they can contribute to the fund for those items.
Best of luck to you..you can still have a lovely holdiay, as long as you are all heathly and safe, you have it all

 

[momxx5]

Thank you for all the kind words.
(((hugs))) to the fellow unemployed.

Funny thing....kinda.....when DH was employed at a high executive salary he gave a % of income to the United Way. It was quite a bit, and we were very glad to be able to donate that much monthly/annually.
Our local system has 211 on the phone to access various United Way projects that help out. Well the week before Thanksgiving was extremely hard financially.....food, money for bills & gas, etc. I called the 211 for referrals, called food pantry, our church, etc. There was not one agency that could help with immediate needs, and none could help financially at all. Most said that there was a appointments needed to verify everything and that the waiting lists were weeks away.

I know this area has been hardest hit (compared to surrounding counties) and there is need everywhere. It was just hard to take that there was/is no help. After a few days of tears, I bucked up and was able to sell/pawn some items so we had cash.

Well, I just wanted to let y'all know that I did indeed try local services.

This month I am planning differently and watching everything closely.

Thanks again for your kindnesses

 

[NancyIL]

Thank you for all the kind words.
(((hugs))) to the fellow unemployed.

Funny thing....kinda.....when DH was employed at a high executive salary he gave a % of income to the United Way. It was quite a bit, and we were very glad to be able to donate that much monthly/annually.
Our local system has 211 on the phone to access various United Way projects that help out. Well the week before Thanksgiving was extremely hard financially.....food, money for bills & gas, etc. I called the 211 for referrals, called food pantry, our church, etc. There was not one agency that could help with immediate needs, and none could help financially at all. Most said that there was a appointments needed to verify everything and that the waiting lists were weeks away.

I know this area has been hardest hit (compared to surrounding counties) and there is need everywhere. It was just hard to take that there was/is no help. After a few days of tears, I bucked up and was able to sell/pawn some items so we had cash.

Well, I just wanted to let y'all know that I did indeed try local services.

This month I am planning differently and watching everything closely.

Thanks again for your kindnesses

How sad that there were no food pantries that could help you, and neither could your church. It's especially ironic since you had been so generous to the United Way in the past.

This isn't the Christmas to give musical instruments as gifts. Surely your kids understand that their dad has been out of work and that you've all had to cut back. If it were me, I would be looking for free and low-cost activities that the family could do together. It takes no money to go Christmas caroling at a nursing home, or to help serve a meal at a homeless shelter. (The workers usually get to share the meal, too.) Helping those who are less fortunate than you are may be one of the best experiences you could share with your family.

 

[timandlesley]

I'm sorry for all you're going through. Please don't feel bad about getting yourself on a list at a church or other organization this year to help out. I don't see your kids getting the big gifts they want, and I'm sure they'll understand, but there are many groups out there to help with things to make the holidays nicer for you.
I work at a church and you would not believe (or maybe you would) the number of people who constantly pop up and ask for money, food vouchers, etc. (well, asking isn't so bad...demanding is what we see alot of). Anyway, your family is the type organizations are eager for. You're having a hard time, and help is out there. I often say that the people who are out there really struggling and need the help the most don't come forward. Those that come forward are habitual users and takers. So, please check out organizations in your area that would love to help, and don't feel bad about it.
Maybe your kids can get those gifts if you put out the word to all the relatives what they'd like and see if they can contribute to the fund for those items.
Best of luck to you..you can still have a lovely holdiay, as long as you are all heathly and safe, you have it all

I agree with what this poster is saying. I work at a school and wish each of you lived closer. We just had a post on our district bulletin board by people wanting to sponsor families for the holidays. The generosity in our building every year is overwhelming- almost every school in our district has 10 classrooms that sponsor families. Our principal loads up his truck with gifts to take to families in need. Call school counselors, let them know, call churches, put your names on giving trees, don't be afraid to ask for help, there are many who want to make your season brighter.
Hang in there, group hugs to all!
Lesley

 

[momxx5]

FYI.........the instruments are off the lists. I was talking to DS15 about what he wants for Christmas and he said he doesn't really want/need anything.....and that was before having a talk with him. I think he understands our situation. I am going to work on getting the "believers" (my girls) gifts and letting the boys help play Santa filling the stockings, etc.

One of my fav memories with DS15 is last Christmas we stayed up really, really late on night making Christmas mix for all the teachers. I had not planned on making any for the high school teachers but he really want to give them some. We had so much fun, mixing, talking, laughing. I know that I will always remember that night. Maybe as he grows up he will too.

Thanks again for the kind words.

 

[Planogirl]

We've been there. It's better this year even though we have to be sensible but I remember that constant worry and how draining it was.

I agree, don't be afraid to ask for help. Then later when you're back on your feet, you can pay it forward.

 

[MRDUCKIE07]

Currently unemployed myself for a year now and getting really frustrated with the job search. Thanks to this board back in June I was able to get a few things at Target when they went 75 off to put aside for my DD5. Hoping and praying that 2010 will be better. Thankfully our health is still in good standing.