Um...Super Awkward Question...

[mcurrence]

We'll be on our 4th cruise this September and have never had a negative experience Disney cruises have been our best vacations!

 

[ArtemisPhoenix]

Well this has certainly been interesting!

Where to even begin to respond...? First, let me just clarify where I'm NOT coming from, so that it's a little easier for those who've asked why I would be concerned to get where I AM coming from.

I'm NOT specifically or particularly concerned with DCL more or in comparison to other cruise lines. Not because I think they're better or worse, but because this is the very first time I've signed up for ANY cruise. I haven't even read anything about any other cruise lines. We wanted to take the kids to WDW, but it seemed like a really exhausting vacation. My DH was willing to do it for me and the kids, but his idea of a vacation is sleeping by a pool for several days. Then I stumbled across DCL. It seemed like the perfect solution: Disney fun for the kids, family activities for all of us, and plenty of relaxing by a pool for my DH. And I never once thought about this issue as I booked the cruise. We've been the DL and WDW and know that it's very diverse. It never even occurred to me to wonder if the DCL would be any different.

It's actually funny that a PP said something about this not actually being a cruise line full of stuffy white people. I hadn't realized that was actually my unconscious picture of cruises right up until I started looking at DCL until I read that. I actually burst out laughing when I read that and realized that it was exactly what I was afraid of: that I'd just signed my DH up to spend several days stuck on a ship with a whole bunch of rich, stuffy white people like the ones you see on The Titanic.

I can completely understand why some of you might be a little put off by my concerns. It actually took me a little while to work up the nerve to post the question at all.

I'm pretty used to being told that the experiences my DH or our children or I have are in our heads or just our perception or being taken out of context. Honestly, most of the time, I'm pretty sure I can't possibly have heard what I just heard when someone says something totally inapropriate. (To the PP who told me that I must be reading into things regarding my experience with the South as opposed to the West, I have heard my 5 year old son called the n word by another child on his school playground here. I have heard a 3rd grade girl on that same playground tell her 1st grade brother, "We don't play with beaners", as she dragged him away from the Indian child he was playing with...while several of the other mothers watched without any reaction and then looked at me like I had grown a second head when I asked them if anyone was going to say anything. I had our son's kindergarten teacher look my DH up and down when we met her and ask if he was "the father", and when I said proudly that he was my husband and the father of my children, watched her purse her lips and say primly, "well...I didn't want to...assume" in a tone that left no doubt as to her feelings on the matter. I've never heard my daughter called a jigaboo on the West coast. I've never been asked how my mother felt about me bringing home a darkie on the West coast. I've never heard someone say that I must have broken my dadddy's heart because I marrried a black man on the West coast. And it's not just from white people. It comes from both sides. I am the only non-black person in my DH's entire extended family. I'm one of only four white people in our entire subdivision. I've never had a black woman look me up and down and then tell my DH to call her when he wants a real woman on the West Coast either. I am not saying the entire South is this crude, by any means. There are wonderful people here, and there are idiots everywhere. But unless I'm having auditory hallucinations, I have to say that I'm probably not reading into things when I say that there are a few different experiences here.)

However, I do know that any negative experiences are usually few and far between. I'm not trying to make an issue of nothing, really. But my DH and I do our best to help each other feel comfortable anywhere that might end up being awkward. He drove around our entire subdivision every day for a week when we moved in until he finally came in one day and happily announced that I wasn't in fact the only white person in the neighborhood. It made me laugh so hard, but I also appreciated that he wanted me to feel like I would be accepted and that our kids would be too. I love our neighborhood and I love our neighbors and I've never felt anything but welcome here, but I love that he checked. So when I've set up a vacation for us, the first we've ever gotten to take together, I want to make sure he's going to be comfortable and have a good time. I've read all the menus, looked at the prices of drinks, read excursion reviews, trip reports, and descriptions of shows to get an idea of how to make this vacation a good one for all of us. It's my job...I'm the planner. And he does an amazing job of taking care of us and is the best husband and father I could ever ask for, for me and our children. So I had to ask. Because we can handle anything. We're pretty tough and
we can have fun doing almost anything if we're together. But it really helps if we know what it is we'r going into. I know exactly how he'd look at me if we got on the ship and he was the only black guy who was a guest, and I hadn't told him to expect that. So while I'm very sorry if I pushed a button for anyone, with respect, I wasn't asking because I was concerned with your comfort. It's not my job to make sure you're comfortable. It is my job to make sure my husband and kids are.

I'm delighted to hear that I've apparently just stumbled across trip reports that give a lopsided view of the ship demographics. I'm even happier to hear that any negative experiences related to this are very few and far between. That's truly what I was hoping and I'm happy to hear so many positive and encouraging reports of the Disney spirit and inclusivity extending to the guest population on the cruises just like it is in the parks. (We can handle the occasional idiot, I just wanted to be sure that a cruise wasn't one of those odd things that seems to attract more of those than usual.)

Now, I feel much better, but I feel like I've opened Pandora's box. Would it be possible for us to all just leave it now? I truly appreciate all of the perspectives and the support and even the various ways everyone has tried to tell me not to worry about it. But it seems like this could get a lot more tense if we keep going. And I hate tension. I read these boards to relax and daydream about my cruise. I don't know if it's something that we can ask on this board, but is it possible to drop it? Sorry if I'm not supposed to ask that.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Well this has certainly been interesting!

Where to even begin to respond...? First, let me just clarify where I'm NOT coming from, so that it's a little easier for those who've asked why I would be concerned to get where I AM coming from.

I'm NOT specifically or particularly concerned with DCL more or in comparison to other cruise lines. Not because I think they're better or worse, but because this is the very first time I've signed up for ANY cruise. I haven't even read anything about any other cruise lines. We wanted to take the kids to WDW, but it seemed like a really exhausting vacation. My DH was willing to do it for me and the kids, but his idea of a vacation is sleeping by a pool for several days. Then I stumbled across DCL. It seemed like the perfect solution: Disney fun for the kids, family activities for all of us, and plenty of relaxing by a pool for my DH. And I never once thought about this issue as I booked the cruise. We've been the DL and WDW and know that it's very diverse. It never even occurred to me to wonder if the DCL would be any different.

It's actually funny that a PP said something about this not actually being a cruise line full of stuffy white people. I hadn't realized that was actually my unconscious picture of cruises right up until I started looking at DCL until I read that. I actually burst out laughing when I read that and realized that it was exactly what I was afraid of: that I'd just signed my DH up to spend several days stuck on a ship with a whole bunch of rich, stuffy white people like the ones you see on The Titanic.

I can completely understand why some of you might be a little put off by my concerns. It actually took me a little while to work up the nerve to post the question at all.

I'm pretty used to being told that the experiences my DH or our children or I have are in our heads or just our perception or being taken out of context. Honestly, most of the time, I'm pretty sure I can't possibly have heard what I just heard when someone says something totally inapropriate. (To the PP who told me that I must be reading into things regarding my experience with the South as opposed to the West, I have heard my 5 year old son called the n word by another child on his school playground here. I have heard a 3rd grade girl on that same playground tell her 1st grade brother, "We don't play with beaners", as she dragged him away from the Indian child he was playing with...while several of the other mothers watched without any reaction and then looked at me like I had grown a second head when I asked them if anyone was going to say anything. I had our son's kindergarten teacher look my DH up and down when we met her and ask if he was "the father", and when I said proudly that he was my husband and the father of my children, watched her purse her lips and say primly, "well...I didn't want to...assume" in a tone that left no doubt as to her feelings on the matter. I've never heard my daughter called a jigaboo on the West coast. I've never been asked how my mother felt about me bringing home a darkie on the West coast. I've never heard someone say that I must have broken my dadddy's heart because I marrried a black man on the West coast. And it's not just from white people. It comes from both sides. I am the only non-black person in my DH's entire extended family. I'm one of only four white people in our entire subdivision. I've never had a black woman look me up and down and then tell my DH to call her when he wants a real woman on the West Coast either. I am not saying the entire South is this crude, by any means. There are wonderful people here, and there are idiots everywhere. But unless I'm having auditory hallucinations, I have to say that I'm probably not reading into things when I say that there are a few different experiences here.)

However, I do know that any negative experiences are usually few and far between. I'm not trying to make an issue of nothing, really. But my DH and I do our best to help each other feel comfortable anywhere that might end up being awkward. He drove around our entire subdivision every day for a week when we moved in until he finally came in one day and happily announced that I wasn't in fact the only white person in the neighborhood. It made me laugh so hard, but I also appreciated that he wanted me to feel like I would be accepted and that our kids would be too. I love our neighborhood and I love our neighbors and I've never felt anything but welcome here, but I love that he checked. So when I've set up a vacation for us, the first we've ever gotten to take together, I want to make sure he's going to be comfortable and have a good time. I've read all the menus, looked at the prices of drinks, read excursion reviews, trip reports, and descriptions of shows to get an idea of how to make this vacation a good one for all of us. It's my job...I'm the planner. And he does an amazing job of taking care of us and is the best husband and father I could ever ask for, for me and our children. So I had to ask. Because we can handle anything. We're pretty tough and
we can have fun doing almost anything if we're together. But it really helps if we know what it is we'r going into. I know exactly how he'd look at me if we got on the ship and he was the only black guy who was a guest, and I hadn't told him to expect that. So while I'm very sorry if I pushed a button for anyone, with respect, I wasn't asking because I was concerned with your comfort. It's not my job to make sure you're comfortable. It is my job to make sure my husband and kids are.

I'm delighted to hear that I've apparently just stumbled across trip reports that give a lopsided view of the ship demographics. I'm even happier to hear that any negative experiences related to this are very few and far between. That's truly what I was hoping and I'm happy to hear so many positive and encouraging reports of the Disney spirit and inclusivity extending to the guest population on the cruises just like it is in the parks. (We can handle the occasional idiot, I just wanted to be sure that a cruise wasn't one of those odd things that seems to attract more of those than usual.)

Now, I feel much better, but I feel like I've opened Pandora's box. Would it be possible for us to all just leave it now? I truly appreciate all of the perspectives and the support and even the various ways everyone has tried to tell me not to worry about it. But it seems like this could get a lot more tense if we keep going. And I hate tension. I read these boards to relax and daydream about my cruise. I don't know if it's something that we can ask on this board, but is it possible to drop it? Sorry if I'm not supposed to ask that.

Sadly, it probably won't be "dropped". That said, you can ask a moderator to close the thread. Just click on the "Report" link at the lower left of your post and ask.

 

[NoodlesMom]

OP, I'm AA and my DH is hispanic. We're going on our 7th Disney cruise in June and 14th cruise overall. Yes, we are definitely a minority on Disney cruises and cruising in general (in my experience) but it's never, ever been an issue. My kids have made tons of friends, some of which we still communicate with. Your concern is a valid one because there are some ignorant people in this world but after you get on the boat you will be enjoying your cruise so much you won't even think about it. I've actually never given this topic much thought because my cruise experiences have been so amazing. I hope you enjoy your cruise!

Here's my "unfinished" trip report on the Wonder in December. I'll get around to finishing it one day. Like you, I LOVE reading trip reports!


https://www.disboards.com/threads/c...d-wonder-updated-day-4.3565849/#post-56865012

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don't know if it's something that we can ask on this board, but is it possible to drop it? Sorry if I'm not supposed to ask that.

Of course you can ask it to be dropped; don't think that it's a matter of you're not supposed to ask. I agree with Princess Shmoo your best bet is to request the moderators to close the thread if you wish to end all discussion on the matter.

FWIW I've been in 2 bi-racial relationships before, my mother for over 20 years now has only dated black men so she's only in bi-racial relationships, my sister-in-law has had 2 boyfriends in the last 9 1/2 years that were white the rest have not been; her current boyfriend is pakistanian but 2 boyfriends ago she was with a guy from Nigeria. The concern you have is one all sorts of people have but don't take that to mean your personal feelings aren't important because they are important.

Hope you have a great cruise though! I've been yearning for a cruise to go on the last couple of years myself.

 

[chemonie]

So I've been reading these boards for the last couple weeks and enjoying the trip reports and all the pictures. Our family is so excited about going on our very first cruise, and I've been reassign everythingI can to get a picture of what to expect. And then this morning as I was looking at some pictures on a trip report...everyone I've seen pictures of on these reports is...white. So then I started looking at pictures that showed larger gatherings on the ships. Yep. Definitely white. In fact, the only people I've seen in the pictures that aren't white are the CM.

Now, I'm white. But my DH is black. Our children are biracial. And we've experienced a few...lets just call them interesting experiences...especially since we moved to the South and more in the last few months. And it never occurred to me to even wonder what our experience might be on a pixie-dust filled Disney cruise...but then there's all these pictures.

So, while I hate to ask such a charged question here, I do want to be prepared, especially for our kids' sakes. Are we likely to encounter any hostility from other cruisers? I'm sure it won't be an issue from CM (right?!), but how many people of color vacation on these lines? How many interracial families? Do I need to prepare my husband to be mistaken for a CM having some downtime?

Sorry if this sounds stupid.

I'm a black man and I have really enjoyed myself on two DCL sailings. My wife and twelve years old son have not experienced those type issues on DCL. I think Disney lovers are good people .

 

[st0nehedge]

@ArtemisPhoenix first off, awesome screen name. I had a cat named Artemis and he lived a long happy life.

I wanted to suggest perhaps looking/searching YouTube videos? That might be another good source to research/obsess (like I have been) over planning, but also to see other people's experiences and who is on board as they walk around.

I hope your family has a fantastic cruise. We are taking our first in May. To Alaska

 

[michellekcm]

But my DH and I do our best to help each other feel comfortable anywhere that might end up being awkward. He drove around our entire subdivision every day for a week when we moved in until he finally came in one day and happily announced that I wasn't in fact the only white person in the neighborhood. It made me laugh so hard, but I also appreciated that he wanted me to feel like I would be accepted and that our kids would be too. I love our neighborhood and I love our neighbors and I've never felt anything but welcome here, but I love that he checked. So when I've set up a vacation for us, the first we've ever gotten to take together, I want to make sure he's going to be comfortable and have a good time. I've read all the menus, looked at the prices of drinks, read excursion reviews, trip reports, and descriptions of shows to get an idea of how to make this vacation a good one for all of us. It's my job...I'm the planner. And he does an amazing job of taking care of us and is the best husband and father I could ever ask for, for me and our children. So I had to ask. Because we can handle anything. We're pretty tough and
we can have fun doing almost anything if we're together. But it really helps if we know what it is we'r going into. I know exactly how he'd look at me if we got on the ship and he was the only black guy who was a guest, and I hadn't told him to expect that. So while I'm very sorry if I pushed a button for anyone, with respect, I wasn't asking because I was concerned with your comfort. It's not my job to make sure you're comfortable. It is my job to make sure my husband and kids are.

I love how you both look out for each other!!! I hope you have a wonderful cruise and fall in love with DCL as much as I did on my first cruise.

 

[TestingH2O]

I wasn't asking because I was concerned with your comfort. It's not my job to make sure you're comfortable. It is my job to make sure my husband and kids are.

Exactly. I'm glad you got some reassurance. Have a great trip and enjoy the daydreaming leading up to it. On some level I think that's the best part!

 

[lbus42]

Well this has certainly been interesting!

Where to even begin to respond...? First, let me just clarify where I'm NOT coming from, so that it's a little easier for those who've asked why I would be concerned to get where I AM coming from.

I'm NOT specifically or particularly concerned with DCL more or in comparison to other cruise lines. Not because I think they're better or worse, but because this is the very first time I've signed up for ANY cruise. I haven't even read anything about any other cruise lines. We wanted to take the kids to WDW, but it seemed like a really exhausting vacation. My DH was willing to do it for me and the kids, but his idea of a vacation is sleeping by a pool for several days. Then I stumbled across DCL. It seemed like the perfect solution: Disney fun for the kids, family activities for all of us, and plenty of relaxing by a pool for my DH. And I never once thought about this issue as I booked the cruise. We've been the DL and WDW and know that it's very diverse. It never even occurred to me to wonder if the DCL would be any different.

It's actually funny that a PP said something about this not actually being a cruise line full of stuffy white people. I hadn't realized that was actually my unconscious picture of cruises right up until I started looking at DCL until I read that. I actually burst out laughing when I read that and realized that it was exactly what I was afraid of: that I'd just signed my DH up to spend several days stuck on a ship with a whole bunch of rich, stuffy white people like the ones you see on The Titanic.

I can completely understand why some of you might be a little put off by my concerns. It actually took me a little while to work up the nerve to post the question at all.

I'm pretty used to being told that the experiences my DH or our children or I have are in our heads or just our perception or being taken out of context. Honestly, most of the time, I'm pretty sure I can't possibly have heard what I just heard when someone says something totally inapropriate. (To the PP who told me that I must be reading into things regarding my experience with the South as opposed to the West, I have heard my 5 year old son called the n word by another child on his school playground here. I have heard a 3rd grade girl on that same playground tell her 1st grade brother, "We don't play with beaners", as she dragged him away from the Indian child he was playing with...while several of the other mothers watched without any reaction and then looked at me like I had grown a second head when I asked them if anyone was going to say anything. I had our son's kindergarten teacher look my DH up and down when we met her and ask if he was "the father", and when I said proudly that he was my husband and the father of my children, watched her purse her lips and say primly, "well...I didn't want to...assume" in a tone that left no doubt as to her feelings on the matter. I've never heard my daughter called a jigaboo on the West coast. I've never been asked how my mother felt about me bringing home a darkie on the West coast. I've never heard someone say that I must have broken my dadddy's heart because I marrried a black man on the West coast. And it's not just from white people. It comes from both sides. I am the only non-black person in my DH's entire extended family. I'm one of only four white people in our entire subdivision. I've never had a black woman look me up and down and then tell my DH to call her when he wants a real woman on the West Coast either. I am not saying the entire South is this crude, by any means. There are wonderful people here, and there are idiots everywhere. But unless I'm having auditory hallucinations, I have to say that I'm probably not reading into things when I say that there are a few different experiences here.)

However, I do know that any negative experiences are usually few and far between. I'm not trying to make an issue of nothing, really. But my DH and I do our best to help each other feel comfortable anywhere that might end up being awkward. He drove around our entire subdivision every day for a week when we moved in until he finally came in one day and happily announced that I wasn't in fact the only white person in the neighborhood. It made me laugh so hard, but I also appreciated that he wanted me to feel like I would be accepted and that our kids would be too. I love our neighborhood and I love our neighbors and I've never felt anything but welcome here, but I love that he checked. So when I've set up a vacation for us, the first we've ever gotten to take together, I want to make sure he's going to be comfortable and have a good time. I've read all the menus, looked at the prices of drinks, read excursion reviews, trip reports, and descriptions of shows to get an idea of how to make this vacation a good one for all of us. It's my job...I'm the planner. And he does an amazing job of taking care of us and is the best husband and father I could ever ask for, for me and our children. So I had to ask. Because we can handle anything. We're pretty tough and
we can have fun doing almost anything if we're together. But it really helps if we know what it is we'r going into. I know exactly how he'd look at me if we got on the ship and he was the only black guy who was a guest, and I hadn't told him to expect that. So while I'm very sorry if I pushed a button for anyone, with respect, I wasn't asking because I was concerned with your comfort. It's not my job to make sure you're comfortable. It is my job to make sure my husband and kids are.

I'm delighted to hear that I've apparently just stumbled across trip reports that give a lopsided view of the ship demographics. I'm even happier to hear that any negative experiences related to this are very few and far between. That's truly what I was hoping and I'm happy to hear so many positive and encouraging reports of the Disney spirit and inclusivity extending to the guest population on the cruises just like it is in the parks. (We can handle the occasional idiot, I just wanted to be sure that a cruise wasn't one of those odd things that seems to attract more of those than usual.)

Now, I feel much better, but I feel like I've opened Pandora's box. Would it be possible for us to all just leave it now? I truly appreciate all of the perspectives and the support and even the various ways everyone has tried to tell me not to worry about it. But it seems like this could get a lot more tense if we keep going. And I hate tension. I read these boards to relax and daydream about my cruise. I don't know if it's something that we can ask on this board, but is it possible to drop it? Sorry if I'm not supposed to ask that.

Why are you equating a Disney cruise with your experiences in the south? Because it sails mostly from southern ports? This is merely for convenience since they sail mostly to the Caribbean and the Bahamas. On my cruise last April, the ship's passengers was about 50% Americans. The rest of the passengers were from everywhere else. I met many South Americans, Asians, Europeans, and Middle Easterners on board. Even some of the passengers who looked like white Americans were from somewhere else in the world.

Yes, you might encounter someone who may make inappropriate comments, gestures, or looks towards you. But, based on what I have experienced with the diversity of the other passengers, I do not believe that anyone would think your family would be out of the ordinary. Besides, once you get on board the ship, hopefully you will be having so much fun that you will not care about anything else.

 

[RedSox68]

I believe that NONE of the DCL ships currently have everyones photos up on the big boards - its all digital on screens and you can only get to the pic's of the stateroom(s) you belong to.

I was talking about past experiences. And they do put pics up on those stands sometimes - in 2014 we saw a lot of photos up on display, but most are now in those boxes with you specific number on them.

sometimes I get mistaken for the Great White Whale while swimming (that's how white I am) .... and I come from a predominately Lilly White state. So I do not know what you encounter on a daily basis, nor what you will encounter on your cruise but we have been on 15+ DCL cruises and have made friends with many non white guests.

People from:
Mexico
Puerto Rico
Japan
South American
Africa
Middle East

But yes, there will be a LOT of white people on board, and NO I don't think that your hubby will be mistaken for a crew member.

After four bouts of skin cancer, I am usually the palest person on the beach -- and so is my daughter. When I come back from cruising my co-workers always comment that it doesn't look like I got any sun at all. Well, I lather SPF50 on and wear hats and I'm fine with that. And my skin looks half its age

 

[undertheradar]

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I was talking about past experiences. And they do put pics up on those stands sometimes - in 2014 we saw a lot of photos up on display, but most are now in those boxes with you specific number on them.

We were just on the Wonder and loved their new set up. There are no boxes with photos anymore. There are tons of digital screens with card readers. You scan your KTTW card and your photos appear on the screen. You order directly from there. I'm not sure if any of the ships besides the Wonder have this setup yet. I know the Dream had some digital order stations last August, but not nearly as many as the Wonder now has and the Dream also still had the boxes of photos.

 

[sambycat]

@ArtemisPhoenix great question and great follow up. I hear you and thank you!

 

[RedSox68]

We were just on the Wonder and loved their new set up. There are no boxes with photos anymore. There are tons of digital screens with card readers. You scan your KTTW card and your photos appear on the screen. You order directly from there. I'm not sure if any of the ships besides the Wonder have this setup yet. I know the Dream had some digital order stations last August, but not nearly as many as the Wonder now has and the Dream also still had the boxes of photos.

Yeah, I haven't been on DCL since 2014. I know that some other lines I have cruises also had the box set up, and one had digital screens.

 

[ladyofthetramp]

@ArtemisPhoenix great question and great follow up. I hear you and thank you!

Agree, was very good. Thank you!

 

[Canadian Girl]

My daughters are Asian and I am not. The OP's question is a very legitimate one. Fortunately, on DCL, there is a very diverse crew but I was initially concerned about possible attitudes of the other parents on a very long TA we took. Micro racism is real and often overlooked by those who have never been viewed as a POC. We have been pleasantly surprised however that we have no seen intolerance at Disney. Maybe that is why we keep coming back despite the huge currency drop of the Canadian Looney.
Have a great trip.

 

[CamColt]

I had asked that we keep this thread on topic of giving information to the OP so that we could keep it going, but unfortunately that has not been done. I think the OP got some answers and information so I am going to close this now before it gets too far out of hand.

Thank you for all who contributed helpful information.