Ugh!! Kids can't visit their dad!

[always quiet]

Sometimes you just can't win! I did a search and found the website for the Hospital of the Unv. of PA. It had all kinds of useful information, then I came across the "No children under 14 permitted". This has gone over like a lead balloon. I can get my oldest in to see his dad, but that's going to leave the girls home (and I would imagine, with tears flowing). I could probably even get my oldest daughter in, who'll be 13 in 2 weeks, but then again, that leaves one behind! I never even imagined the kids would not of been allowed in. My husband has been a local hospital before, when the kids were a heck of a lot younger, and I was never questioned.

Why don't they realize that patients have families....not just ADULT members either. Yes, I know there could be things there that could upset a little one, but I think they should allow it, but then, not be allowed to hear any feedback from a parent if their child sees someone very sick or bleeding.

I'm done venting now...................I think I'll go take some tyenol for the headache I know I'm going to get before dinner is through.

 

[aunties]

Call and check with the hospital. When my Dad was in the hospital, there were signs every where stating "No Children". He asked one of his nurses if his grandchildren (5 and 7) could visit. She told him they were more than welcome as long as they were well behaved and didn't wear out their Grandpa. That was far better medicine for him than anything they were sticking in his IV!

 

[4greatboys]

When my mom was in the hosp being treated for the cancer she had no kids were allowed there either.

 

[nativetxn]

When my husband had surgery about 5 years ago, his roommate had lots of kids in there visiting, including a rambunctious 2 year old. My husband was in quite a bit of pain and it was not the best situation but my point is that they <i>do</i> allow children to visit their parents.

Call ahead and speak with one of your husband's nurses. I'll bet they allow all of the children to visit their father.

Let us know what happens?

Katholyn

 

[Serena]

Yeah, I'd check with them too. And if all else fails, take them anyway. If they are behaved, I bet no one says anything.

I have before. Some hospitals are not strict about that at all. I just depends on the situation and how determined you are.
One hospital did say something and I let them know they were visiting for 5 minutes and I would take them home. They didn't say anything else.

 

[dhcoffey]

I have to say, though, that it was that way a few weeks ago when my mom was in the hospital. Now, she was in the IMCU; but they said no one under 14 not necessarily because of the kids but because they were concerned what the KIDS could catch up there in the rooms. I fully understood that.

Also, with my husband's brother, he is in a cancer section of the hospital and again, you have to be careful with kids not necessarily because of behavior but kids can be carrying anything and you not know it and the cancer patients are at a higher risk of catching sickness which to them can be deadly.

Maybe if you suggest they wear masks when visiting their dad that that might help.

Good luck,

Heather

 

[hydster]

I'd call too and ask about it. I know our local hospitals including the Cancer Institute say no kids under 14 but they do mostly for kids that are maybe a neighbors kids coming to visit not the persons own children or grandchildren.

Best Wishes for your family!

 

[Parrothead1964]

To show how different some places are, my wife, my three kids, and I were coming back from Arkansas heading north when she began to develop chest pains (thankfully, it was a false alarm).

We stopped at a hospital in Fayetteville. She was taken to the ER and given several tests, and I told my kids (19, 14, 12) to wait in the waiting room because I assumed they weren't allowed back.

Shortly after the tests were over and my wife was resting in her room (still in the ER) I told the nurse I was going to tell my kids that my wife was OK... she said to bring them back to the room if I wanted to. I said "You mean all three?" She said that was fine without even asking their ages.

 

[cgcw]

Even though that is the hospitals stated policy, they may make exceptions. I would definately call.

When FIL was in ICU for a month before he passed away, both of my DS's were able to be at the hospital at any time. They were 2 & 7 at the time. No one ever questioned us bringing them there. In fact, the only time they told us we had to limit our visitors was after there were 16 of us in there at one time. I know excessive, but it was during a blessing being done on my FIL and it was the only time all of the family was together at one time.

My sister had major surgery a couple weeks back. Again, in ICU. I was fully prepared to leave at 8 PM when visiting hours officially ended. However, the nurse told me I was welcome to stay as long as my sister was stable and not bothered by my being there. I didn't leave until just about 10 PM that night.

Hope all goes well with your DH.

 

[janette]

Most don't seem to enforce the rules, my FIL was in ICU for a and my girls were able to visit and the rules were no one under 12. We were always careful not to have too many people in the room at once but they didn't say anything.

We also were able to spend the night with my FIL even though they said no visitors after a certain time. He would get confused and it really helped to have someone there, they didn't let us the first night after he was admitted but someone was there every night after that until he passed away.

 

[Talking Hands]

Many years ago when I had to have some surgery done the hospital had a rule of no one under 16 allowed. Well, my doctor worote on the chart that my daughter ages 7 and 3 were permitted to visit at anytime. Talk to your husand's doctor as well as the hospital.

 

[kadaten]

My mom is a nurse in the ICU and CVICU at 2 hospitals. They have those rules, but only enforce them selectively. (Same with visiting hours.)

If the kids are rambuctious or wild or the patient isn't doing well, then they'll politely remind you of the rules and ask you to take the kids home. However, if the patient is ok and the kids are well-behaved then they usually have no problems with young visitors. And if it's end-stage, then rules go out the window and families are allowed all the time they need.

Definitely call his nurses. If nothing else, maybe they'll make an exception during one visiting hours time slot each day!

 

[mudnuri]

When my grandmother was in the ICU after her hip surgery, kids were not allowed. per the signs.

My grandmother took a turn for the worse, blood pressure dropped, cudnt get it up etc...

The nurses made an exception for my DDs who were 6 & 7 at the time. They were able to go in and see her, for 10 minutes.

My nephew, who was 2, was not.

Luckily, my grandmother pulled through and is home now, but had she not, my DD's would have seen her one last time, I really dont think my 2 year old nephew would have rembered it anyway...

I think it depends on if they are in a single room/double room, she was in a single.
good luck to your DH and I hope your kids can get in!

Brandy

 

[Disney Doll]

My guess is that as long as your kids are fairly well-behaved, and you know their "hit the wall" point, they'll probably be allowed to visit.

I have been a nurse for 21 years in a fairly large urban hospital. Let me give you some pointers about children visiting in hospitals, based on personal experience:

1. Do not allow them to sit or lie on the floor. It is a hospital, do you have any idea the kind of stuff that is on the floor!

2. Do not allow them to touch any of the equipment. The scales are not to jump on, the wheelechairs are not to zoom around in like go carts, the blood pressure machines are not to take their own BP, the IV machines are set at a rate for a reason.

3. Do not allow them to lie on the clean, unoccupied other bed in the room, if your DH is in a 2 or more bed room. When a visitor lies on a clean bed, we have to strip and remake it.

4. Do not allow them to scream, cry, or make and inordinate amount of noise.

5. Do not have 57 visitors in the room at once. 2-4 at the most is usually more than most sick people can handle

6. Kids get bored fairly quickly, so probably plan on not much more than 1/2 hour for a visit

7. The nurse is not a waitress. We are not there to bring you and your children soda, ice cream etc

Yes, this advice is based on actual experiences I ahve had with visitors.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

 

[phillybeth]

Post-surgery and oncology is NOT a place for children. There are some very sick people there and dangerous chemotherapy drugs. Not only can children put chemo patients at risk of infection, but the kids themselves are at risk.

Once your DH is mobile after the surgery, see if the kids can visit him in a lounge or family visiting room. Most hospitals have these now, and they keep the kids away from the scary and dangerous things in a hospital. They also won't have to see their dad weak and in bed on all sorts of machines. Really, it's for your kids' and your DH's safety.

 

[KimRaye]

In my past experiences, I think kadaten and Disney Doll have pretty much laid out the generalities of visiting. You'd be wise to take their advice.

Prayers for your DH, yourself, and your family!

 

[SC Minnie]

DH had surgery when DD was 5. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks. The first week her was in pretty bad shape but the 2nd week he was starting to feel a little better. DD had not seen him in over a week so I asked his Dr if she could visit (it was against hospital rules). He said it would not be a problem and noted it in his chart. I explained to her be fore we went what behavior was acceptable and also explained what her Dad looked like he had all kinds of tubes everywhere). The nurses gave me dirty looks but we walked right past and went straight to the room.

Like others have said just check with the Dr. If your youngest is very young make sure Dad is 'looking' better when they visit. It can be very scary for little kids to see their parent like that. My prayers go out to you and your family.

 

[always quiet]

From my understanding at this point, (all subject to change once we see the doctor tomorrow), the surgery he is going to have will be to remove the tonsils and to remove the lump on the lymph node on the left side of his neck. So far, the catscans showed only one node is involved. I don't think he will be going immediately on chemo and or radiation. He will be recovering from just the 'basic' surgery.

My kids are very well behaved under most circumstances and not little ones that I would expect could have a total melt down when they "hit the wall". They are 14, ALMOST 13 (on 9/13) and 10. They know enough not to touch machines, be demanding in a hospital or bother other patients. They have, unfortunately, been in their fair share of hospitals over the years, visiting first their grandmom, who was in a nursing home with Altzheimers, then their dad when he lung collapsed and he spent 10 days in the hospital, and their grandfather for any number of pains and ailments.

Do you think I should mention this to the doctor tomorrow or just wait til after the surgery and talk to his nurse??

Thanks for listening to me.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would mention to the doctor. He has the final say. The nurse after the surgery may only be able to follow hospital policy.