Two teenage girls alone?

[mkpat]

Hello everyone. We (myself, DW, my DM, DF, DSIS, DD14 and her friend) are going to WDW very shortly and my DD14 and her friend have asked if they go off by themselves to do some things that the other grownups may not want to do when we get down there. I have been struggling with this for a while now, and I need some advice. Should I let these two girls (aged 14 and 13) do some things without us, or make them stay with the family the whole time we are there? Please give me your thoughts.

 

[don8life]

14 is such a wierd age. Caught right in the middle. I think it depends on how mature they are. My niece is a mature 14 year old, I would let her go. My step daughter is 14 and I wouldn't let her go. Two very different kids. Both good but one is more self-reliant than the other. Have they been there before? Do they know their way around? If they are reliable and can self navigate than maybe you could try letting them go for a little while and meeting up and see how that works.

 

[lenshanem]

I would try letting them go for a couple hours, but only if ya'll have cell phones or walkie talkies. I would also set guidelines, too.
I bet they'll do just fine and a "try out" session can determine if they can get more time alone.

 

[chyam]

I agree if they have a cell phone available or get some of those walkie talkies and make sure they stay in contact, then a few hours off on their own should not be a problem......WDW is a pretty safe place and there seems to be someone always watching. I would make a time to meet perhaps for lunch or a ride to do together just to keep things in check and make it perfectly clear that they cannot leave the park , not even to to back to the resort, if they are that tired then you all need to go!
But it would also depend on the time of the year, I don't necessarily think it is a good thing to do when the parks are very very crowded.

 

[Amirah95]

Where are they trying to go and do without you guys? I say it's OK when in the parks but out and about I don't know about that. When I answer these questions I think of my DD who will be a pre-teen shortly.

Let us know what you come up with.

 

[LuvN~Travel]

Like an earlier poster said, it will depend mainly on your daughter and her friend's maturity level, I would think.
I went at 14 with a youth group from church and there was no problem (other than the giggling).
However, I have a fifteen year old, and with her health problems and naivety, I wouldn't let her go in less of a group of several people. We just recently chaperoned the youth at our church to Six Flags, and it was because we didn't want her going without us.
Then I also went around Six Flags at age ten with some of our band group, but that was back in 1970.
You might try them out the first day letting them go off alone by themselves without you and seeing how they handle themselves, and then decide on the rest of the time.
Kim

 

[SueM in MN]

I have 2 DD, one who is 22 and one 19. The youngest one is disabled.
My oldest DD has always been very reliable and mature; sometimes my older DD had a friend with her. When she got to be 14, we let her and a friend or her and younger DD go on their own.
We looked at some of the things that other posters mentioned and things like:
-how busy is the park?
-how well do they know the park for navigating around and can they use a map?
-how will we communicate? (at first we had walkie talkies; later cell phones)

The first few times, we were all in the same park and they were only on their own for a few hours before we met up. That was good preparation for being on their own.
Some things to think about:
-make sure your meeting place is carefully defined. Some places have more than one door or what you consider the "front" may be what they think of as the "back". So you might both be at the right time in the "right" place, but be waiting at 2 different "right places".
-don't panic (and make sure they know not to panic) if no one is at the meeting place at the designated time. It's easy to underestimate how long it will take to complete an attraction or walk from one end of the park to another.
-make sure everyone understands how to use the walkie-talkies/phones and that they may not work all over. They may not work at all in some buildings and they should be turned off or to silent while in attractions.
-have a back up plan in case the walkie-talkies or phones won't function (out of power or just not responding).
-make sure you all understand things like whether or not they are allowed to leave the park. If you don't specifically discuss it, they may think it's OK. Is it OK to take a bus back to the room? What about going to another park? Even if you have agreed they may, do they need to notify you before they go and once they reach their destination?

 

[wbmdis]

I'm not in your shoes yet, as my DDs are only 6. But my feeling is you should also ask the friend's parents what their feelings are. They may not want to have their daughter unsupervised while in your care. JMHO.

 

[spectromagic]

i cant agree more with the post to make sure you have a clear meeting spot.

when i was younger, my cousin and I went with our grandparents and they left us alone just to ride splash. our instructions were to meet on the bridge afterward. (there are two bridges, not something we thought of at the time) of course we each were waiting on the opposite one after the ride. By that time it was dark and the electric parade was starting and as kids we were in a panic. but to comfort everyone, a very nice cast member saw us and we told her our situation and we were back to our grandparents in seconds. we were only about 12 or 13 but other than that confusion we were fine.

So i say give it a go keeping in mind the other posters advice. I also might recommend meeting back up with them before the crowd for the parades start to form.

 

[mkpat]

Thanks for all of your replies!!! I think I will give them trial period and see what happens. They are both good kids, I'm not sure if they could fare well alone, though. We are going in less than three weeks, and I have heard that the crowds are fairly low. Hey chyam, what is that a picture of in your sig?

 

[emmabelle]

I think in the age of cell phones it makes it so much easier to let them go off for a couple of hours. I couldn't image letting them go off on their own if you couldn't be in contact with them whenever you wanted to be. I have a 14 year old son that I let have some freedom, but I can't image letting his 12 yr old sister have the same freedom when she's 14 because she isn't as mature as he was at 12. It all depends on the particular child.

 

[Puffy2]

I wouldn't let them roam away from the hotel without you (for instance , if you are staying at the Boardwalk Inn and they wanted to go walk on the Boardwalk, no I wouldn't do that.)

If you are all going to a theme park and they want to go off together for a couple of hours - then yes - if you have some communication between you (cell phone, walkie talkie, pager - something) and you have a clear meeting place set up and they understand disney's message system at the park ( you can go to any guest services and leave a message for someone there). I'd lay down the ground rules. and discuss all "what ifs". And what about this friend's parents - how do they feel about this? It might be pointless discussing it if the other parents are opposed.

 

[The Sweetness]

On my summer vacation, 16y old friend of DD(will be)13 will join us. I intend to send them off on their own for a couple of hours at a time. I want DD to gain a bit of confidence and independence, as she is still extremely clingy. She wont even go to the bathroom on her own at the mall or a concert. I know that she is still just a kid, but I think its time to let go of mommy's hand just for a little while at a time . As for your own kids, if they are carrying cell phones, as mine do, there will be no problems in a short but sweet seperation, in my opinion.

 

[chyam]

Originally posted by mkpat
[. Hey chyam, what is that a picture of in your sig? [/B]

It was taken at the WL in May, my first attempt with my new digital camera.

 

[NHLFAN]

My DD took a friend with us last October and they were both 14 at the time...

The first day we ALL went over the transportation options for WDW so they would know how to get around the best way..to and from the resorts.

When ever we went our own ways...we always made checking-in times, weather it be calling on cell phones or meeting up for meals.

It's a great way for teens to make great memories with friends...without hanging around us old folks...lol.

 

[miste76]

The trial period is a great idea... this is how our family did it a couple of years ago.
I have a 16 yo brother and 14 yo sister and they've been going off on their own to the parks for about 2 years now. Both have been coming to WDW since my mother was pregnant with them and have taken over 20 trips to the world, so they really know their way around. They are not allowed to seperate and have to check in at certain times.
This November, we're taking a trip... just myself, mom, sister and my sister's best friend (both girls are 14) and the two girls will be going off on their own. We all carry cell phones and call each other often (we like to talk on the phone anyways.) I don't like them to go out of the parks by themselves... but we do allow them to travel back and forth from the resort, on the disney transportation.

 

[jajuan]

I will probably get bashed for this one. I am a VERY overprotective mother, but while at WDW last year, I let my 10 year old and his cousin go ride rides at Magic Kingdom when we were doing Peter Pan for the 5th time...lol. They asked if they could go ride Splash Mountain and my SIL, BIL, husband and myself decided it would be ok. They took one of our cell phones and called us before they even got to Haunted Mansion to let us know they were ok. I feel really safe at Disney but I am also not too naive to realize that bad things can happen anywhere. I do feel, however, that my son is very responsible and knows how to look out for trouble. My MIL and FIL were there too and I thought they would freak and my MIL told me she approved 100%. We did it a few times during the trip and I am sure I will do it again next week....unless the hurricane is looming...lol. It was a great experience for all and we had cell phone contact at all times.

 

[Pinnochio]

Me and my sis around the same age as your daughters always go off on our own but only after spending about half the day with our parents.they set a bunch of rules, some of them r unnessary but my sis always has her cell phone with her

 

[Geebs]

when I was younger, my parents let us go off on our own when I was around 10 and my sister was 15. We never had cell phones or walkie talkies …the horror!! =) and we did just fine. Many times, we would hit some things together and then split up until meal times. It was nice to have lunch in the park describing what we had been doing. A few hours here and there. We always had a little $$ and knew how to get back to our resort in case anything happened. We had the rule, that if we wanted to leave the park, we had to wait until we met up again. Also, we always knew where we could ask for help (how to identify cast members) and where the guest relations counters are. A few hours is reasonable, especially if you are in the same park. A solid meeting place is always a good thing…. And even if you don’t let them go, it is a good thing to establish a meeting spot in case you got separated accidentally…you just know where to go to find each other.

 

[canda]

I am a retired youth minister. I have taken many trips to theme parks with kids that range from ages 10-20. I would never let them roam the hotels by themselves. I have taken anywhere from 5-200 kids on a trip. At hotels the adult leaders would take turns on sentry duty.

At the parks I have let them roam around by themselves. (parents had to sign waivers to let them) I would stick an adult with the younger ones if i could, and they tend to stick in a larger group. the 14+ ages tend to go off in 2's or 3's.

I always no matter how large or small the group was, I had some rules beyond the behavior rules. (I have put a kid on a plane to his parents before, but that is another story)

No park hopping, no leaving the park, no going back to the room to get something.

And there is a manditory check in every 3-4 hours at a chosen location. that location is visited by everyone in the group first thing at arrival then we can split up.

At check in I was very clear that each person had to look at me right in the eye for me to check off that they were there. That way no one can say I was there, but you did not see me. (they will try anything. )

If they missed check in and I found them, then they stuck with me the rest of the day. (And they knew I would send them home on a plane, so it never failed.) Also when 2 13 year old boys did not check in, when I found them we went to HOP, CP, CB and Tiki, over and over. After that, and the scuttlebutt that followed that night, every kid was at check in right on time. (I allowed 30 min leeway without telling them, for crowd and ride problems)

the check in was not to be mean or not let them have fun, but for their saftey and they usually figure this out and are ok with it.

What really suprised me was after the 2nd check in, the kids will start hanging around together in larger groups. by the end of the day, we are all watching the parade or fireworks together.

So the morale of the story is,,,, I have done it with up to 200 kids of all levels of maturity, and have never had a problem.

With just two, you could always keep a "distant eye on them"
thats what I did with kids that I had conserns about.