Turning Down Help WWYD?

[jensen]

x

 

[ceecee]

No, just be grateful and thank them. Freeze for later if you don't want to use them. Be sure to send a thank you and let them know how helpful they were and that DH is home and doing well and now you are able to cook again!

 

[clh2]

Is there a convenient way to "stop" this? If so - I would go that route.

If there wasn't a way to stop the meals - I would graciously accept and then try to freeze some of it - for later times, when you can alternate some healthier options on other nights.

 

[Dizzy4DL]

No, just be grateful and thank them. Freeze for later if you don't want to use them. Be sure to send a thank you and let them know how helpful they were and that DH is home and doing well and now you are able to cook again!

Agree with this 100%.

And OP, how blessed you are to have such thoughtful friends. I'm sure it made this difficult time a little easier for you.

 

[DawnM]

My friend had surgery in July. A lot of us brought meals.

She told me she ate them until October as she froze a lot of them, but she ate them ALL!

People brought us meals when my son had surgery. I didn't need them. He came home the 2nd day and I was home and could make them, but it was nice and to be honest, sometimes you have to let people help you. It makes them feel good too.

Dawn

 

[laurafergie]

DH just spent two weeks in the hospital after a ruptured appendix led to two operations. While he was hospitalized, I didn't do a very good job cooking family meals... eating at the hospital cafeteria, take-out or frozen pizza.

I mentioned this in passing to a friend, who in turn told another friend. They decided to start a meal train for us so we'd have some home-cooked meals. This was such a life-saver. You cannot imagine!

Now DH is home and I'm quite capable of cooking. But, the meals are still coming. They are scheduled through the weekend.

I'm feeling very guilty about these people who all have busy schedules of their own, cooking meals for us. Besides that fact, the meals have all been high calorie, carb-laden things that are not good for my waistline and definitely not what the doctor ordered for DH's post-operative diet.

Is there a way to tactfully tell these well-intentioned souls that I'd like to decline their planned deliveries? Or should I gracefully and gratefully accept their efforts? It's only a few more meals...

Since it is only through the weekend, I would just let things ride. Why rock the boat? I'm sure the people that signed up to help, are doing sobecause they wanted to and cared about you all. Maybe you can put the stuff that is brought into the freezer?

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I agree just let it ride its only a few more days. In the mean time enjoy not having to cook

 

[powellrj]

I am one who always turned down help until a dear friend told me to stop letting putting out others sunshine. In other words, people do it because they want to help and it helps them feel good to, so don't be the one to put out others sunshine! Just enjoy the gift of friends who care!

 

[Fantastic4]

You could tell the friend that set up the train how wonderful it's been but you you feel bad still accepting now that he's home. It gives them the option to opt out or continue. If they continue be thankful (you never know what someone else is going through and this may be a way for them to think of others rather than their own problems). If you really don't want to eat them freeze them and pass them along to someone else when the need arises.

 

[eliza61]

I am one who always turned down help until a dear friend told me to stop letting putting out others sunshine. In other words, people do it because they want to help and it helps them feel good to, so don't be the one to put out others sunshine! Just enjoy the gift of friends who care!

well said,
Op accept the gifts in the spirit they are given. You are blessed beyond measure to have such caring people in your life. It does make folks feel good to help.

 

[jensen]

Thanks for all the feedback! I'm going to go ahead and graciously accept the meals and be glad I have a few more days of no cooking.

I didn't want these friends to think I was taking advantage of their generosity. But, you've helped me realize and remember that even when you are busy, helping someone else feels good.

I've thanked them profusely... they each got an emailed thank you when I found out what date they were bringing a dish. A personal thanks upon delivery of the food... some I even asked to stay and eat with us because they brought so much. And a handwritten note in their bakeware when I returned it.

 

[Pooh2]

We were in this position last winter after I had surgery and neighbors wanted to help out. Some of the meals were too high in sodium and fat for my post-op needs. We graciously accepted, froze some and shared some with our adult children. You are blessed to have these helpers in your life!

 

[sparkyboy]

when I prepared meals for one of my best friends this summer for about a month, I checked with her husband to determine what foods sounded good to her and then tried to change up recipes. When she finally felt up to having company, we arranged to eat with them several times.

For another couple, I did gift cards to his favorite restaurants as his wife was on a feeding tube.

But OP, know that we do meal trains because as friends we truly care and it is a way to share our concern and be in a spirit of community.

 

[Swimalie]

I'm glad you are accepting the meals already planned. Yes these people are probably busy but they are getting a warm heart out of helping you. I just had surgery on my should 2 weeks ago (typing 1 handed, in fact) and we had a lot of meals come. Once my husband went to work, the left overs were a Godsend for me. Enjoy them and take the time of not having to cook to relax and help your husband if he needs

 

[sherreis]

I'm glad you decided to accept the remainder of the meals. It was only a few more days. When I was on bedrest with one of my pregnancies, members of my synagogue offered to prepare meals for us and my husband got all huffy with "they think I don't know how to cook and take care of my family!" I explained to him people just want to be nice and help and that by cooking meals it freed him up to do other things for his family. I do know what you mean about the carb heavy - as more of our meals were that way too. I learned that when I do something like this, I send a protein with vegetables and a salad.

Hope your husband continues with a speedy recovery!

 

[eeyoresmom]

We are pretty healthy eaters so I get your concern about accepting items you wouldn't usually eat. I would gratefully accept and perhaps serve the casseroles etc. as a side to our usual grilled chicken, fish or beef.

 

[Kellydelly]

Personally if I were in the chain and found out that you were back to normal at your home and didn't need meal help any longer I'd like to be let off the hook for whatever meal I was supposed to send over. These people are taking time and money to help you, if you don't need it, speak up ! It doesn't make you ungrateful, it makes you honest.

 

[roadtripper]

Agree with the PPs who say to accept gratefully. Here is one of my favorite quotes:
“Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love.” Wally Lamb
Sometimes recovery can be a roller coaster; having a few casseroles in the freezer for a rainy day might take away some stress.