Trying to decide.... (long)

Given OP's description of the sister, it sounds like any $ they earmark toward her rent or anything else is (IMHO) a way to repay her for the many things she does to assist with child care/making family life work. Totally seems reasonable to me.

OP, I have friends in NYC, the $50K doesn't surprise me but you have to keep in mind that many people on this board consider that to be an annual salary, not private school tuition. So their understanding/perspective is going to be a little different. My friends in NY pay $5k a year for parking, and it isn't even that close to where they live!! NYC is expensive. I think moving to CT is a great goal, and your exploration of how best to do that is a great idea. But I would get that apartment listed ASAP.

@starry_solo I'm not the best to answer this, but while there are some good public schools in NYC, the process is not like it is in many parts of the country. For example, in middle school and high school, you apply for a spot, which involves submitting an application, ranking preferred schools, etc. That is, you can apply and not get into one of the good schools and get stuck with a school that you don't want to send your kid to (for a variety of reasons).

@deedeezee - dang! We have that in certain areas of CA but for specific type of schools (like immersion schools where there are only 1-2 in the entire district)
 
I'd say live in your parent's house while you're selling your apartment! That may take a while and you can see how much it cost to live in the new state. I'd look for my own home after that. If your sister wants to move with you, she can help pay a sort of rent or go live with your parents. Hope that helps!
 














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