Treadmill Nirvana and other ramblings

Blah, blah, blah.

Workouts the past two days have been awful. I've done them, but not with a smile on my face. I've done the ole' temper tantrum across the parking lot, stomping along thinking to myself, "its not fair I have to do this everyday, I have to work so hard, how come other people don't have to work so hard..." :charac2: whine whine whine. The good news is I have slipped a few small bursts at 7.2 mph and 7.0 mph into my runs. I'll be moving up to 7.0 mph soon. :banana:

Back to the whining. Since I've been in burnout, pitty myself mode lately, I've done some pondering. Here's what I've come up with. Life's not fair, period. You do what you gotta do, period. Case in point:

My Dad discovered he had kidney failure just under 10 years ago. At the time they discovered it he was down to 30% kidney function. The first immediate action was to put him on a renal diet. We're talking STRICT, no fun, no cheating, do-this-to-survive diet. Next came peritaneal (sp?) dialysis (a catheter in the belly which HUGE bags of fluid are poured in, sloshed around and then drained). Not fun. Life Altering. Then came hemo-dialysis-- hose hooked up to his arm, blood drained and reinserted. Painful,not fun. This took 3 hours (4 1/2 hours with commute) three times per week. His whole life centered around his dialysis. Nothing ever "bumped" his dialysis, and no one every asked or hinted that maybe he was being selfish and could he just skip this one time to do x, y or z. Period!

Okay, so I'm making an analogy here. Is my weightloss life threatening and is the cure worth the time and effort? Yes and YES! (By the way he got a kidney in 2003 and is doing great). I need to re-evaluate my perspective, daily if necessary. My gym time isn't selfish or optional, its what I do to fight my obesity. The time and money it takes to plan, shop, prepare healthy food isn't optional either. Its necessity.

I think the slippery slope comes because I know if I miss my exercise, or eat poorly for a day or two or three, I'm not going to die. And somehow I can let a string of bad eating days flow together and not realize that it is going to add up and it is going to effect my health. Not on the same time-scale as my dad's dialysis but its really just as serious. My friend at work just found out she's pre-diabetic. She's never dieted in her life and now all of the sudden her health is at risk. This is real!

I just have to keep my perspective. Like I said, I have been going to the gym, I just haven't like it. But another thing I should mention. Never, not ONCE did my Dad ever complain about going to dialysis. I need to learn a lesson here :)

Philosopher Sunny signing out.
 
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I completely understand the work thing! It get's really, really old, doesn't it?!!!

You are doing such a great thing for yourself! It is worth it! It is!

Keep your chin up girl! You are doing great! :cheer2:
 
Hey Sunny - First thing... BREATH :earseek: You sound like your over doing it a bit and it's catching up to you. The workouts you do are unbelievable and amazing, but maybe you need to take some time for yourself and reflect. Oh wait, I think you just did ;)

I HATE those people that don't need to exercise and eat right and still are thin. Of course, you and I are probably so much more healthy than they are and that's what counts. We have to do this for our children's sake, so they don't have to deal with obesity, diabetes or any of the other things that go with being fat and not eating right or exercising.

You are doing such a awesome job and you might just need to sit back and see what you have accomplished. We're all in the same boat (not sinking anymore pirate: ) and we'll have to stick together if we're going to succeed :goodvibes
 
I am SO there with you Sunny! This is a weigh of life. You no longer "diet". This is just the way it is for you ( and me and everyone else on this board). It sucks - BIG TIME! But, you will live healthier and happier for doing this. You have come Soooooo far. The burnout is understandable. Just don't let it take over and ruin all you have done. I feel that if I live a healthy lifestyle 85 - 90% of the time, that is good enough for me. I will enjoy some of the "forbidden fruits" occasionally. After all, life is for living. But I will no longer live to eat.

I think you need to go out and buy yourself an incredible outfit. An "I feel so good about me when I wear this" outfit. Maybe that will help banish the blahs! :cool1: Summer is coming and you will be wearing shorts. Do you realize how much better you are going to feel about yourself when you put on summer clothes this year???? :banana:

Take a day or two off from exercise if you have to, but don't let your mind games win this battle Sunny! The war HAS to be won by YOU!! :cheer2:

Have a great day! Enjoy the :sunny: !

TTFN- Sharon :flower:
 

That is a really good analogy about your dad. Glad to hear he's better, by the way!

I know what you mean about the "it's not fair" syndrome. I can be really hard to overcome. I agree that the workout is so critical--those natural endorphins make the world look so much better!

I think it's harder to have a weight problem than to have an disease or an addiction. No one expects alcoholics to go into a bar and have just one beer. We all recognize that as being much too hard, but we're supposed to eat just enough and then stop!

It's a struggle, every day, but the admirable thing is that we're willing to take it up and keep trying. Be proud of yourself for what you've accomplished!
 
I'm so depressed today. I finally went to the dr yesterday for my "gastro-distress". The first thing she asked was "Do you use Splenda?". I live on the stuff. Its not clear yet if that is what's causing my problem but she said it is the most common cause of gas/bloat/cramps she's been seeing lately. So she did a bunch of tests to rule out something serious. I haven't gotten the results yet, but I really don't think its something serious. She also put me on an "total elimination diet". I am only supposed to eat rice and plain lean meats for three days. Then add only one food in per day, journalling every thing. She said it could be lactose intolerance, gluten sensitivity, etc. But I'm betting its the Splenda. Which is alittle odd to me since i've been using it for years, but she said you can develop a sensitivity at anytime. Part of me is really upset about it, since it has been my 'saving grace' for substituting low point foods for my old fattening ones. But I suppose I should be thankful if it turns out to be Splenda because that is a relatively small thing to give up. She said definitely no aspartame (Equal) either. :( I didn't think to ask about sweet 'n low, but its out for the next few days, too. I think I'll die with no "sweet" in my diet! No fruits either :(

I didn't get a chance to exercise yesterday between my dr apt and my DDs and another apt. I think that added to my feeling depressed. But I think the depresseion is actually bio-chemical and related to the severe "tummy" troubles I've had the past couple of days. I really hope this diet change is the answer and I can feel happy and normal again soon!

Sunny
 
:hug: for you Sunny! I am so sorry you are feeling poorly. And I know how difficult it will be to give up Splenda! :guilty: But I do feel confident that you will get through this and find another "avenue" for healthy living. I think a trip to the local library for a little research is in order!! The Splenda is an easy, quick fix, but I am sure there are other, more natural options. We just have to dig a little deeper to find them! ::yes::

Try to get outside today and soak up some of this :sunny: ! It will do wonders for your depressed feelings! One day at a time my friend! Go easy on yourself and just focus on the restricted diet for now. The rest will fall in place later. Just take care of yourself for today. And know that we are all here for you, to offer support or to vent your frustration. Whatever you need, we will supply it! :flower3:

Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend! Can you believe this beautiful weather?! Spring has finally Sprung!! :banana:

TTFN- Sharon :sunny:
 
I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Hopefully eliminating the tummy culprit and getting your exercise will pick you back up soon.

I hope you feel better soon. Sending :wizard: your way!
 
Sunny - just noticed your map on my thread. You just passed by my town!!! I am slightly north of Bridgeport!! You go girl! :moped:

How are you feeling? Any improvements with the tummy issues yet? I hope you are seeing some progress! Healing :wizard: for you either way!!!

Enjoy this beautiful weather and warm temps!!! :cool1:

TTFN - Sharon :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:
 
Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.

Here's the scoop: I have been on my elimination diet for 5 days and discovered I really, REALLY, can't eat vegetables. I haven't gotten the results for my tests from the dr yet so I don't know anything new. I tried eating 5 baby carrots on Sunday and was in pain for 4 hours. Everytime I venture out from my plain yogurt, brown rice and meat I suffer some discomfort. I'm eating half a piece of fruit twice a day right now and that is tolerable. This is all so strange. I haven't had any art. sweetners so I don't think they were the problem but I don't dare add them in at this point.

The good news: My dr wrote me a note for my WW goal to be 155-160. If I set my goal at 160 I'm only 8 pounds away :cool1: I think I might do that and then aim for 155 as my real goal. Lifetime here I come :moped:

Runnings been AWSOME! I did a 10 mile run on Monday. Monday was Patriot's Day here in Massachusetts. We celebrate the Revolutionary War, the shot heard round the world, that sort of thing. So I had the day off and ran on the bikepath right into Historic Lexington. Bad idea. I hit the center right as their parade was ending. I think I know what it feels like to run at the WDW marathon now! People everywhere. But it was still a wonderful run. My outdoor long distance pace is a solid 10 minute mile. But I've been doing 6.7 - 7.2 mph on the treadie :goodvibes

But i've been so busy I can hardly stop here to update, let alone make it to other journals. But I'm thinking of you :)

Sunny
 
Hi Sunny!

Any news from your doctor yet? I'm sorry that the veggies are causing such a problem for you. I hope that your doctor can get to the bottom of this for you soon. :hug:

You are doing an amazing job with your exercise! :cheer2: 10 miles is so awesome!!! You are such an inspiration, Sunny! Keep up the good work! :cheer2:

Have a wonderful weekend! :sunny:
 
Sounds like you've had a really bad run of health lately... bummer...

I was reading through your journal of late and it does not sound like much fun in the tummy area. :-( Sorry...

Sounds like Dr has you on the right track though. As much as it is not fun, it will help to determine the issue(s). So stick to it - like I know you are!

Keep your chin up!

I'm doing pretty good lately. It's busy here (managing a large house, large yard, critters, etc - not to even mention work, kids, homeschooling, etc), but I'm really doing good. I hardly have "sad" moments now and the kids are doing alot, alot better! whew...

I haven't had a chance to exercise much lately, but it's ok, I've been OP with eating and I've been very active all day instead. Today I will try to get back on track - bike for 30 minutes and boflex for 20 minutes. Will try to stay on track for the week. Probably won't make my exercise goal for the month (1200 minutes) but that's ok too. I've already lost 4+ lbs this month anyway. A couple of days ago I was at 149 lbs! To break the 150 mark was very cool! I'd like to hover around 145-ish but I'll see when I get there how things look.

Oh, I've gotta tell you...as far as the jiggles...not much left in the triceps area at all. My legs are firming (slowly) and tummy is a bit slower than the legs, but I'll tell you, I'll take the arms alone! My shoulders look so good now! I can't wait to wear tank tops again (it hasn't really been warm enough lately). Just wanted to let you know --- we had talked about this...

So, take care of yourself! Literally! Hope the kiddos are doing well and everything else too. Keep your chin up about those tummy troubles, you'll figure it out soon! ;) I can't eat any artificial sweeteners at all - they trigger migranes for me. Not fun at all!

I'll stop in again soon....jay-nee :flower:
 
Thanks!

Jay-nee: I am stock piling tank tops this year :rotfl2: I think I'll be wearing them everyday that is above 60 degrees!!! Isn't it great to like your shoulders? I'm so happy you have made it to the 140s. Congratulations!!!!

Well the dumb dr office called on Friday but they called my home phone instead of my work phone. They left a message that they had information for me, which must mean my test results are back. But I have to wait until Monday to find out now. Friday I had a lot of tummy trouble, but TOM started on Wednesday so its hard to know which is which.

I went for a 10 mile run in the rain today. It was nice but a bit cold. On Friday I did some 7.5 mph (8 minute mile) bursts on the treadie. Its amazing to me to be able to run that fast, even if its only for a few minutes at a time.

Now we're all stuck in the houes on this rainy day. I have to think of something for the kids to do...


Sunny
 
keep up the great attitude, kiddo, it will see you through! You are doing so well! ;)

I actually bought some new "skinny" people shirts that I hope I can pull off this summer. I hope I wasn't being too ambitious! I'm down another 2 lbs today to 148.5! Honestly, I can't believe it, but I am so pleased at how I am looking/feeling! :teeth:

This weekend was yucky! The kids chilled (reading and playing gamecube too, plus we watched (and taped) La Nouba! So cool as we just saw this show last Sept for DS's Bday! Very, very cool, but not nearly as good as in person!

Well, gotta jet! Sending good luck your way for results that help to figure out your tummy troubles! Chin up!
 
I hope you feel better very soon and your Dr get to the bottom of your tummy troubles quickly!

Have a great Monday. Hope the :sunny: comes out for you!
 
Hi Sunny~

Just wanted to stop by and see if you had any news from the doctor yet. Prayers are :wizard: are coming your way! :hug: Take care!
 



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