totally stressed!! vent/kinda long - SORRY!

[tinkerbride19]

I am sooo stressed about this wedding, and its still 10 months away!! I haven't gotten final pricing because its not in for 2008, so i'm just banking on the fact that HOPEFULLY we can afford it, but if we can't then I have no back-up plan. I really wanted me and my DF to do this wedding on our own, and I don't want to have to ask my parents for help..they do SOO much for us as it is, I just don't want to also need them to pay for our wedding too.. i'd feel like a little brat always running to mommy and daddy for everything, and my DF's so-called mother doesn't do a single thing for us, she rarely even calls or sees my DF, and she could care less about our child (her ONLY grandchild) so i'm not expecting much from her at all, we don't even know if she can "fit it into her schedule" to come to our wedding because her stupid boyfriend "doesn't do Disney, nothing about Disney interests him in the least bit, and he'll be bored, and probably just want to leave" .. yeah thats what she said about the most important day in her only child's life, nice huh? (as you can tell, I really don't care much for her) ahhh i'm just starting to doubt this whole thing, and i've been SO upset over it the past couple days.. i'm driving myself crazy and i don't know if i can do this for the next 10 months!! I've talked to my DF about it, and he wants so much to give me what I want he just says "it'll all work out, i'll make it work for you".. hes just so amazing, and i just want to marry him.. in Disney.. on Valentines Day, thats all i want!! anyone else feel this way sometimes.. or am i just crazy?!.. sorry this is kinda long, but i just needed to get it out.. if you made it thru the vent .. thanks for reading

 

[princessdisneybelle]

You are so not alone!. All I can say is look at what you want now, and maybe add 25%? Maybe just do a intimate. Save yourself the headache of alot of family that can cause drama. I really wanted a DFTW. But couldnt so we compromised and I'm having mine at Shades of Green. Still at Disney. Just be flexible. Mine changed so many times before things were finalized at 6 months. You sound like you have a great DF, have faith in him. It will be all you dream about I'm sure.

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

you poor thing

its sad when your mom changes for the worse for a boyfriend.

The best advise I can give is to not let her get to you & move forward with or without her.

Family can make you nuts...believe me I know

Make your wedding the best day ever & if she is there..great....at least you know the most important people will be there.....DF & your child!!

I wish you the best & I hope things work out ...good luck & keep your chin up

 

[LOUISEANDANDREW]

I know exactly what u mean Tinkerbride 19! We are getting married next feb as well (12th, mayb see you there!).Iwas saying before on another post, everything just creeps up and up! If we were getting married outside of disney, we would be laughing, but it'll all b worth it. We are funding everything ourselves, and it's hard, cos if your like me you want all the most expensive things! I think dis boards is great for picking up tips on how to keep the cost down without having to scrimp on the value of things. Good luck

 

[tinkerbride19]

We are funding everything ourselves, and it's hard, cos if your like me you want all the most expensive things

yesss i'm definatly like you! i want all the expensive things.. but i'm just trying to keep in mind that what matters is not me having the best of everything, but that i'm marrying the person i love most and the biggest thing is we're getting married.. finally!! i feel much better after getting that out.. this board is SUCH a help and everyone is SOO incredibly nice and helpful.. thank you all so much!!! I'm so glad i found this board!

-ashley

 

[Chantelle]

I am sorry to hear how stressed out you are, but I understand where you're coming from. My mom met a guy after I got engaged and is already married to him. He has had nothing but negative things to say about my wedding because it is not in the catholic church. He even wrote me an e-mail saying that my wedding would not be legitimate in the eyes of the church and I might as well not bother having it blessed by a preist.

Needless to say, I hate the man. He has torn our family apart and I am no longer even speaking to my mom. Around the 10 month mark things really started falling apart between us and I wanted nothing to do with my wedding for months because I was so stressed over my mom not wanting to come.

At this point I don't think she is coming and I rather it that way because her attitude has changed so much. I planned the Disney wedding because my mom wanted to take a family trip to Disney after my dad died 5 years ago and it never ended up happening. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity but I rather she not be there if she doesn't want to.

I thought my fiance's parents would be the issue since they are also strong catholics, but they were right on board with it. They were already planning a big road trip through the states and they waited to time it with our wedding.

Anyway, cheer up because I think things will get better. It becomes more real as you get closer to the date. My fiance prepared a budget and so far most of our costs have been under budget because he worked in cushions. Maybe preparing a budget would help you better get a hold of your costs and put your mind at ease.

 

[tinkerbride19]

My fiance prepared a budget and so far most of our costs have been under budget because he worked in cushions. Maybe preparing a budget would help you better get a hold of your costs and put your mind at ease.

thats exactly what we are gonna sit down and do tonight! i think i'll definatly feel better seeing on paper that we CAN do this! and we have decided that if my fiance's mother wants to act like its such a huge hassel for us to get married in Disney, well then she will be totally left out of planning. we'll just treat her like a regular guest, not like family, kinda like the way she treats us. it just sucks because i know it hurts my fiance's feelings to have a mother like her. but oh well, my parents are wonderful, and they treat him more like a son then his own mother does. so thank God i have such a wonderful family, i couldn't imagine what we'd do without the support of my parents!! i'm feeling sssooo much better about this..

 

[mermaidbride1108]

I completely agree with you on the Mother-in-law thing - my DF doesn't even speak to his for like 2 years now, It's really a shame and because of me and I know it bothers him on holidays, especially mother's day,but it's not my personality or anything, but the fact that she's not the main woman of his life anymore and she hates that. She needs control over everything, and said some really downright hurtful things to me after I made dinners and invited to all my home decor demos yada, yada, yada, DF kicked her out of his life and she said choose her or me and I just finally gave up on begging him at least to have a relationship with her and forget about how she feels about me.

I just knew that she would show up to our wedding, if we had it at home and cause a total scene, so we are going to Disney! this like cemented our decision.

It's a shame because I know some really awesome MIL out there and I know how great it can work out sometimes, but some moms just can't accept what their grown up children decide to do. My mother treats him like her own son and buys him better gifts at Christmas sometimes!

My best advice, stay out of it as much as possible and leave it to DF and MIL. Even though she is in the wrong, , its best to stay out of it with them. Try your best to just think, if she doesnt want to be there, then that's her fault. This is you and your DF's special day and remember you definitely aren't the only one dealing with unhappy MIL...

Hope that helps!

 

[tinkerbride19]

thanks, mermaidbride1108!! that really helped knowing i'm not the only one out there with a bad MIL! Sometimes i feel like its my fault that i'm just being mean to not like her, but just seeing how she hurts my DF's feelings over and over.. i know its not me... its her! But i'm sorry you're also going through a similar situation!! but hey, at least we got amazing DF's that obviously love us more than ANYTHING!!