To tell or not to tell...

[IASWAM]

We have planned a trip in August, and we will be there during our DD10's birthday. However, she is the only one in the family who doesn't know we are going. The other day she told me what different themes she wanted for her BD party. She also thinks we are going to the coast and taking her friend with us (her friend's Mom knows the plan, but her friend doesn't, because we didn't want her to accidentally spill the beans). We're running out of excuses like "we'll see" and "I'm not sure" every time she asks about her party or trip. Plus it's REALLY hard to not talk about our upcoming trip when shes around. So here's the dilemma; do we tell her now, or continue with our original plan of telling her when we leave "for the coast"?

 

[pumpkin5156]

It depends on your DD's personality I think. I've heard and read those stories of parents surprising their kids when they leave or the night before they leave, and the kids have a total breakdown b/c they feel out of control and unprepared.

If you think your DD would LOVE the surprise, maybe tell her a week before so she can enjoy some of the planning and anticipation. let us know what you decide. How fun!!

 

[Corpsebride]

If it were me and all of a sudden we were getting off at Disneyland Resort and Theme parks exit, I would have been over the moon! I say dont tell, instead, just say, wear comfortable walking shoes, we are going on a museum tour in Los Angeles. That way she can wear comfy stuff and be prepared without knowing it. That is my vote!

 

[dizneekrazee]

I agree with Pumpkin, it really depends on the child. We did the surprise thing last April with our boys, and surprisingly, I did not spill the beans. I stopped at my store to load up a gift card (told the kids I was gettin gmy paycheck), and then we headed off. The kids though we were going to their aunts for the weekend, and right after we hit the famous Highway 5, I told then we were going to DL! My oldest (8 at the time), was a little bummed at first cause he had his weekend at aunties all planned out, but once we got there, it was well worth the surprise!

HTH!
brandy

 

[Brady's Mom]

We didn't tell our 3 youngest boys we were going to DL until 4 days before we were going. We would have waited until we were at the airport - except we have a 6th grader who needed to do his schoolwork for the week before we went. He says he would have been fine doing his homework in the hotel - but there never seems to be enough time for that sort of thing when we are at DL. It was soooo fun to surprise them just before we went. I think it would have been even more fun to surprise them at the airport - but sometimes you just do the best thing instead of the most fun thing.

 

[AmericanItGirl]

I'd say that you're going to California instead of the coast for her birthday (enough to keep her from planning a birthday party and any sort of activities that she wants to do on the coast, but not enough to give it away).

 

[wendylady36]

In February we took my niece for her 5th birthday. We didn't tell her and I rode in the car with her and my sis and BIL. We told her we were going to a special place and she'd just have to wait and see where we were going. After about 5 hrs we stopped to eat at a Red Robin and she asked "is this the special place!?" We live less then a mile from a Red Robin. After another few hours we arrived and we drove past the entrance and she couldn't tell where we were. Then we drove past a statue of Mickey and she got excited because she knew we were at Disneyland!

I'd say don't tell her, but I know how hard it can be! I almost spilled the beans to my niece so many times and I only knew about a month in advance. Either way it will end up being a fun trip, because even if there is a freak out, it's still Disneyland.

 

[pixiewings71]

Don't tell, just tell her that she can't have a party because you have plans, you could even let her know it's a surprise but you don't want to tell her yet. We surprised our kids, we got them up on a Friday morning, put them in van like we were going to school/work and then we got on the Hwy and just kept driving. When we got there we drove right past DL and they didn't even notice! LOL We checked into the hotel and they noticed the little Mickey's everywhere (good neighbor hotel), then they asked if we could do DL because "we think it's really close" lol When they finally found the package with our tickets etc they got really excited and it was the best trip! We had so much fun! And they loved the surprise!

 

[avalon451]

Oooooh, that's a tough one! At 10 years, she might really get a kick out of helping plan and deciding what she's like to go on, so that she's "invested" in this trip. Sometimes preteens are more enthusiastic when they have had a say in what they'd like to do. You can put them "in charge" of some aspect of the trip.

On the other hand, what a fun surprise! I guess you might want to ask yourself: are you doing the surprise for your enjoyment of her reactions, or hers? Will she like being surprised better than she'd like anticipating and being part of the planning?

My brother and his wife just surprised their DD5 with their trip 2 weeks ago. That was great! And they did it partly because they KNEW she would be so excited that she wouldn't sleep well for days beforehand, especially the night before. So when they got her up, she was well-rested and suspected nothing! So fun!

Good luck with your decision and I hope you have a fabulous trip!

 

[kylieh]

It depends on how well your DD can handle surprises - and I may not be reading this correctly, is DD's friend going with you?

If she can handle surprises (and her friend if she is going too) I would let her know later. On the other hand, if she can not handle change or surprises easily, like my own DD5, I would let her know at least a month or so out. That way she can enjoy some of the planning, but it is still unexpected.

Given that she is making plans for her party I'm thinking she would like to know and help plan the DL trip.

 

[DLovinFam]

We are going to surpise our kids a few days before we go. That way they can share in the anticipation with us for a few days (and help us pack for the road trip) I can't wait until they know! I'm going to explode not being able to talk about DL around them!!

My kids don't think we are going anywhere, so it would be hard for dh and I to pack without them knowing. They are 16, almost 13 and 6. I don't think we'd be able to pull it off.

That wouldn't be the case with you as you do have "a trip" planned.

 

[DisneyLover4Ever!]

Don't tell! The surprise will be amazing! You can have Disney characters call her on your way there; ...I'm sure she'll love it.
(because she doesn't know she is going, pack her Disney stuff like pins-ears-etc...in your suitcase)

 

[stacymomof2]

I can't even imagine holding that surprise in. I'm pretty sure I would explode!!

I think it would be fun to surprise them, but on the other hand, I have had so much fun talking about the trip with my girls and planning/dreaming of Disney, I'm glad to have had this to talk about...

I also agree with the above people who said take into consideration your childs personality...that will get you the furthest!!

Above all, have a GREAT time...

 

[Judy from Boise]

I usually don't comment on surprise threads....but since you asked, I am a big proponnet of telling. I wouldn't "suprise" an adult, and i think kids deserve the same courtesy. In our family(extended) we would feel lied to , out of control, and cheated, if someone did this to us. Just my personal opinion

 

[IASWAM]

Thanks everyone for the great suggestions. I think I will talk to DW this afternoon about telling her a few days before so she can partake in the excitement and packing for the trip. I know what ever we do, though, she will be really excited to learn we are going to be at DL for her BD!

 

[tofubeast]

Unless you can guess she truly loves surprises... I would tell her a few days in advance. I would do the Character calls, and have her favor character call her!

 

[IASWAM]

Unless you can guess she truly loves surprises... I would tell her a few days in advance. I would do the Character calls, and have her favor character call her!

We have the character call scheduled for the day we leave. But if we decide to tell her early, than that would be a good way to surprise her!

 

[LuvEeyore]

I wouldn't tell until you leave where you are going. Now I would tell her that you have a special birthday party/ surprise planned. Then before you leave, have wrapped a box with 'clues' in it. Sunscreen, an autograph album and pen for both girls, disposable camera for her pictures, and maps of Disneyland and DCA and a Disneyland guidebook, a laynard and a couple of pins for pin trading. On the trip, this will give the girls something to do and allow them to decide their priorities.

I've done this with my Goddaughter for years since she was 3-5 and she loves it. She now expects that during the summer we will do something really fun and then for Christmas and her birthday, she may get pictures or a clue for next years trip.

Last year was Alaska and I did tell her. This year she doesn't want to know until we get where we are going (San Diego 2 days, Disneyland 3 days and Hollywood the morning we leave from burbank) She has been given clues and we will tell her the morning we fly out and she will help surprise her friend that is going with her. I am taking my lap top and will have other information with us and the two girls will have the descisions to make about what they want to do. For the girls I found at the local disney store mickey reusable shopping bags that i am packing fo their trip. they will have reading material a beach towel, a lanyard and pins, an autograph book and pen, a lanyard with holders for fastpasses, room key and tickets in the bags and they will be able to carry this bag on the plane. We have five hours on the planes and about three hours in the airports so the lalp top with something to look up will be great with Wi=Fi in the airports.

Morgan has learned to trust that I know what she likes and that she will have some choices and be told what to pack and how. She has also realized that she needs to pack the way I tell her to and lightly. She has also responded well when I tell her who to take with her or when I limit this.

You know your child well and what she likes or dislikes. Morgan knows alsready when we are going, how long we are going to be gone and what she needs to bring and not to bring.

have a great trip!!~!!!

Have a great time with your daughter, family and her friend.

 

[Disneyenthusiast]

I would let her share in the excitement ahead of time. Planning and anticipation are part of the expereince.

 

[Zena Wright]

Thanks everyone for the great suggestions. I think I will talk to DW this afternoon about telling her a few days before so she can partake in the excitement and packing for the trip. I know what ever we do, though, she will be really excited to learn we are going to be at DL for her BD!

If it helps, we went in December for my DD's 14th birthday and my daughter knew we were going to Disneyland so she could help with
the planning but what I did was I told her the wrong date and surprised her a few days early so she got to help plan and she also got a surprise .

Even though she knew we were going surprising her a few days early was fabulous because my daughter gets so excited everytime we go that she doesn't sleep the night before so this time I packed everything for her while she was at school and loaded it up in the car and when she got home from school I had her gets washed up and changed into something nice but comfey and warm and told her we were going out to dinner then after dinner we drove to the airport and when we got there we said "surprise we are flying out tonight to Disneyland " and at first she thought we were joking them she about lost her mind and just loved it .

Good luck with what ever you decide .


Aloha Zena