To suprise kids or not?

[mouseearstx]

So now that we've finally booked, we have to decide when to tell the kids. We are going for DD's 5th birthday and DS 10. I am on the fence about suprising the children the day we leave or to tell them in advance and let them have part of the planning. DD has never been to the parks, only DCL, and DS went with his dad last year.

In theory suprising them sounds like a great idea, but my only experience with doing so was when my oldest DD (now 22) was 8. At the time we didn't realize she had some level of anxiety issues, so i picked her up at school the morning we were to leave and suprised her. She had been 3 times before, but was completely miserable that trip and had multiple melt downs. As she go older, she told me she had such a hard time because it was a suprise and she hadn't had time to mentally prepare. At the time she didn't appear to really have any issues with anxiety (didn't really show up until a few years later) or we never would have done that!

My other two don't seem to have the same issues, and I know I would have loved to be suprised! So I'm curious how did other people's experiences with suprising their children turn out?

 

[Alesia]

I think that the anticipation is as fun as the actual trip. You rob them of that when you spring it on them at the last minute.

 

[Belle61513]

I agree with @Alesia. That said, I understand why someone with very young kinds doesn't tell them until a couple days before (or same day) because they have no concept of time and it's just "mommy, is it time to see Mickey yet?" every 5 minutes for 3 months lol.

Part of the fun is making countdowns, taking about what you're most excited for, things like that...

 

[Indio]

My kids have always known ahead of time, but I did surprise my youngest with a trip over Columbus Day weekend last year. He LOVED it! We've never got to do a surprise because our trips are usually with a bigger group of extended family. This trip was just my sister and me and my son. I woke him up early and told him we were going on a day trip to the mountains and didn't tell him any different until just before we pulled out of my sisters drive. It was hard sneaking and packing for him because he's 15 now but it was a blast for a one time thing.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

We've always told them ahead of time and let them be part of the planning process. On the first trip, we all looked at videos online together, looked at menus, etc. Now that they've been several times, they like a say in which rides we get fast passes for, which restaurants we go to, etc. Since you have to do that so far in advance, they definitely know ahead of time!

 

[thr33boys]

Our first trip my kids were 8,4,3 and they had no idea what Disney World really was. So we didn't end up telling them until we were at the airport (actually we never got a chance to really tell them anything because we were running late and by the time we got to the plane it was half boarded and we had to get on). It was not how I planned it, but it was fine.

We went again the next year and we gave them a weeks notice. That was good as they knew what Disney was and were excited but didn't have to wait too long.

I just booked our next trip and I think we'll tell them much sooner so they can enjoy the anticipation and planning and have a bit more say.

Good luck with your decision, it'll be a fun trip anyway!

 

[sdomino11]

I'm another vote for telling them in advance. My kids love helping with planning and making calendars to cross off the days. My DS8 even likes to read TRs with me! Having said that, I still like a few surprises. They'll get a packet of Disney goodies on the plane. They'll be surprised to find new POTC shirts packed in their suitcases, and they'll really be surprised when we do A Pirate's League! And departure day will allow them their first glimpse of Disney Quest, which my little gamers will love! So, I like to tell them about the trip while keeping plenty of secrets to reveal throughout the trip!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

We told our kids the first 3 trips but they were either too young to understand (DD) or DS wasn't overly amazed until we got there. He's not the type of get overly excited about much ahead of time.

We surprised our kids once when they were 11 and 5. We didn't know if the trip was going to actually happen until 4 weeks before so we just didn't tell them until the morning we left. They were so excited and it was seriously our best trip ever. They think I'm going to do the same thing for all trips.

This year they are going to be 15 and 9. I can't spring this on them, especially DS. I can't pack for him. He has a social life so I don't want him making plans for a party or anything else while we are gone.

I'm going to tell them in June. Once school is out. So that way they can understand why I haven't booked a week at the shore or we haven't gone on any big vacation this year.

I think it's a nice balance. They'll get to research the resorts, see the plans I've made, help with FP+, youtube rides, etc.

 

[Drusilla]

I've always wanted to surprise my kids with a trip but have never been able to pull it off, I get too excited and can't keep my mouth shut!!! For our upcoming August trip, DD13 completely took charge of the planning, which days at what park, ADRs, FP+, etc. Other than a couple suggestions and tweeks to ADR times, I have left her plans as is. She did a fabulous job!!! There's something to be said for the anticipation, the countdown calender, the "mom can we talk about Disney" talks. So I don't think I'll ever surprise them but when they have families of their own, I'd be quite happy if they surprised me with a trip to WDW!!!!

 

[waffles77]

So now that we've finally booked, we have to decide when to tell the kids. We are going for DD's 5th birthday and DS 10. I am on the fence about suprising the children the day we leave or to tell them in advance and let them have part of the planning. DD has never been to the parks, only DCL, and DS went with his dad last year.

In theory suprising them sounds like a great idea, but my only experience with doing so was when my oldest DD (now 22) was 8. At the time we didn't realize she had some level of anxiety issues, so i picked her up at school the morning we were to leave and suprised her. She had been 3 times before, but was completely miserable that trip and had multiple melt downs. As she go older, she told me she had such a hard time because it was a suprise and she hadn't had time to mentally prepare. At the time she didn't appear to really have any issues with anxiety (didn't really show up until a few years later) or we never would have done that!

My other two don't seem to have the same issues, and I know I would have loved to be suprised! So I'm curious how did other people's experiences with suprising their children turn out?

We had a similar experience as yours when we surprised the kids for my daughter's 6th birthday. Before the surprise she had been planning her birthday party for the time that we would be gone and we had gone along with what she was planning. When we revealed the surprise she cried. As she got older, we learned that she too needed the time to prepare mentally. My son on the other hand had been thrilled.

I think it's really going to depend on the personality and needs of those that will be surprised.

 

[sweetnjmom]

We told our son in advance for his first trip and the anticipation was a lot of fun.

We leave tomorrow and haven't told him. We're surprising him in the morning. Hopefully it will work out as I hope and he'll be thrilled.

Though I think he'll be upset he's missing the Mother's Day event at his daycare on Friday--hopefully being in Hollywood Studios (for H&V breakfast) and the Magic Kingdom (night/FP for his favorite rides and MSEP) will soften the blow.

 

[2Gma]

Given their ages I would "surprise" them a few weeks ahead of time. We've done a treasure hunt for clues and a homemade video telling them we're going, it was fun to see their reactions and let the excitement build. We've done this for our last 2 trips and it gives them time to get prepared (things they want to pack, plans for missed school work, letting friends know they will miss a party/game, etc.)

 

[Cuppie]

I am surprising my kids with a late September trip!! It will be my DS 12th bday. I am checking them out of school at 9:30 am and telling them we are getting away for a mom& grams weekend.. we will then go to my mom's and have the kids change out of their uniforms.. and just start driving...lol we will arrive in florida around midnight and check into a hotel off property for the night... then in the morning drive to disney and let them be surprised with the welcome to disney sign!!!

BUT since we have been before we are always talking disney in our house.. so I AM getting their input for planning, by asking WHAT IF questions...lol
Like restaurant ADRS..
What one was your favorite..
what one didn't you like
what ride do you miss the most
which one didn't you like
Those types of questions
It's very hard keeping a secret...

 

[HCinKC]

We were originally going to surprise our 6 year old, but we decided to tell him instead. He has never been, so I wasn't sure what he would/wouldn't want to do. Although I think I know him well, he has surprised me with some of his choices. Plus, when we first told him, he had ZERO idea what WDW even was. We showed him the brochures, went to the site, watched YouTube. I am so glad we told him. He has had fun looking at all the info and helping plan. Like a PP said, the anticipation has been building. If we had surprised him, he would not have had any idea about the excitement awaiting him.

 

[My3Princez]

We've done it both ways. Since it's DD's 1st time to the parks, I wouldn't do the last minute surprise. We did the last minute surprise when our kids had already been, so when we woke them up and told them we were leaving in 15 minutes to fly to WDW, they knew exactly what they were headed for. Since DD hasn't ever been, I would probably wait until two weeks or a month before leaving and do a countdown chain for the rest of the days.
Either way, it's so much fun to tell your kids you are going to WDW!

 

[Chief Powhatan]

How about telling the older one (if he can keep a secret) and surprising the younger one?

 

[robndani]

We've been lots of times, and never a surprise. We surprised them in the Fall when they were 4. They LOVED it. I hated it. I hated keeping the secret, packing in secret, whispering to my husband, etc... They asked me if they could be surprised every time though. LOL

I would surprise them a few days before. Maybe with a 7 day countdown calendar. That way, they can be "surprised" but still have time to mentally prepare and get excited!

Either way, have a blast!!!

 

[HM]

My kids got really mad when we surprised them with a Christmas trip once....telling them while we were on our way. They told us to never do that again. They wanted to be a part of the planning.

I'm with the person that suggested telling the older child and letting him/her help you with the surprise for the younger.

 

[PrncessA]

We surprised our kids last June and it was HARD to keep the secret but totally worth it. It could have easily backfired though. We told them about our upcoming trip before we booked to get their input and DS (10) said that he wished he didn't know because he liked the surprise. DD (8) loves the planning and anticipation.

 

[LSUfan4444]

I think that the anticipation is as fun as the actual trip. You rob them of that when you spring it on them at the last minute.

I agree wholeheartedly.