It looks to me like the OP is bringing his own young children, not grandchildren. They are meeting his parents, an adult sister/BIL and adult niece(s)/nephew(s) w/spouses. There's no mention of other young children and this is the OP's children's first time to WDW.
It also looks like the adult sis invited her own grown kids (young couples) then sought to save money with the Ramada idea. And now the OP's parents (his children's grandparents) are agreeing with the Ramada idea in support of the OP's sister. Perhaps she is footing the bill for her grown kids or realizes they cannot afford more. I hope I'm reading this right. IF so...
Then I don't think your unsettled issues (6 months!) are about the hotel room at all! They are about control.
This trip was originally your idea. You and DW have had ideas and hopes about how you want it to proceed, as your children's first visit to WDW. Now the planning has been altered by other family members. And it's not all to your liking. So...
What will you do about sharing the decision-making for this trip?
Can you accept that others who travel with you (and pay their own ways) need to make choices that suit their budgets? If you plan to share a trip with extended family, expect that the shared decision-making will spill over into the rest of the trip as well.
Where will everyone eat? What can they afford? How much time will you all spend together? How many are early risers vs. night owls? Who enjoys leisurely meals vs. eating on the run, to make the next ride? Some people can roll with these things and others find it too tense. So discuss it all ahead of time.
What are your and your DW's
TOP priorities for this trip?
If your priority is that your small family group will enjoy a special first trip to WDW and just share some part of that with their grandparents and relatives, then proceed accordingly. Explain that this is a very special trip for you and your children so you have a few "must do" aspects to plan for yourselves. Select your own vacation accommodations, notify the rest of the family of your plans and define for them when you would be available to meet up with them for some fun gatherings. Be clear in setting up the parameters/boundaries for your special first WDW trip with the kids.
OTOH, if your priority is that your extended family group will enjoy a special gathering time in a place that will offer many opportunities for great shared memories together, then proceed accordingly.
Put aside the previous ideas of a totally Disney trip with the kids, for a future time when all the relatives won't be there. Get together soon with the relatives to share in the joint decision-making, where everyone has the chance to express their #1 "must do." Be very flexible, allowing for the many compromises that a group trip requires. Look forward to a shared time at WDW.
The bottom line is that, you can't have it both ways. Your decisions will affect them and theirs will affect you. You still need to make the choices that are best for your own family (DW and children). Remember that your children will watch andlearn from your wise decision-making, your boundary-setting and your gentleness/diplomacy with the other important adults in your life. HTH.
