to figaro30, re:judging parents

Not open for further replies.


Keep to the code!
Jun 18, 2000
I just had to read the first post to see what all the buzz was about.

I'd just like to say that you can comfort yourself all you want. But I find it aweful that we live in a society where only one of 3 men would give up their seat in a life boat on the Titanic today for a woman or child.
thats because there is no common courtesy anymore. I mean people can't even use a turnsignal anymore in a car to let the other drivers know that you are making a turn. no one likes to let you make a turn in traffic anymore. how many times have you tried to change lanes and no one lets you? how oftern do you go into a store and the person in front no longer holds the door open for you? (the only time I see this anymore is if you have a stroller.....)

<img height="200" src="">
<font size="4"><font color="purple"><font face="Book Antiqua">
<marquee> First Inaugural Member Of the WDW Resort Cheerleaders!!--yeah baby! </marquee><font></font></font>

I have tried hard to stay out of this debate, but as always, I keep going back to it. IMO, it boils down to did figaro have an obligation to offer the child a seat? No, she didn't. Being a woman with a child is not a disability. And it doesn't afford you certain rights such as a guaranteed seat on a crowded bus.

Also, IMO the woman should have waited for the next bus to ensure that her child would be safely riding in a seat, the safety of that child is the parents responsibility and I think that should come before anything. I think the woman was completely out of line for raising her voice in any manner to anyone on the bus. That shoes a lack of common courtosy. Don't we teach our kids that they just can't get everything that they want? Don't we teach them that such behavior is unacceptable?

I can't help noticing how much focus is being placed on the mother and the adults around her: who was "right" and who was expecting too much, etc. Hardly a word about the poor young man who just held his tongue and fell asleep standing there. Speaking just for myself, I think my heart would have gone out to him and I would have had to let the poor child sit.
Who cares about what if or should have.....What's ever happened to common courtesy and respect that we were all taught as little ones?

And we wonder why children are shotting children....yada yada yada.

Maybe if we went back to the days when it was common practice for men to open would be a little nicer.
I've read the posts on this subject, and I think its time for people to MYOB. I don't think it was right for the woman to yell at Figaro, but Figaro, I don't think that "all parents" need a reprimand or lesson from you. Just as it was not right for that parent to be rude to you, it is not alright for you to judge her or why she had her child out at that time. As a parent of young children, I know how easy it is for people to feel like they know what is best for your children, when they don't even know you!! Again, MYOB!!

Are you telling me to MMOB???? Just curious


'81 - Cont.
'88 - Disneyland
'89 - Maingate East
'91 - CBR
'94 - CBR
'95 - CBR
'98 - BC
'00 - WL
'01 - OKW
Also let me include in this post one of my responses to the original post. You will notice that I apologized for generalizing the situation and for lecturing all parents. My intention was for parents to expect that it will happen and when it does don't blame other people. That's all my point was. Here is what I said.....

"Okay let me just say one more thing and then i'm ending this conversation and move on to a lighter subject. First off, I have a 15 year old son. So I know what it is all about!!!

Second of all people keep saying it was not my business. THAT WOMAN MADE IT MY BUSINESS when she started yelling at me!!! If you don't want me involved....DON'T GET ME INVOLVED!!!

Lastly, my point to this was that people should just monitor their children more and expect that if they are to stay out later that their children might be sleepy and cranky along with themselves. And if you are going to run around all day then expect a most probable negative outcome and don't blame other people when it arises. Regardless of the reasons that this incident occurred it was of no right of the woman to start yelling at INNOCENT strangers. And yes, she should have waited for another bus that was emptier. Maybe I was wrong to generalize all parents and all situations and I apologize for that part. I shouldn't have done that. I got caught up in the moment. But for everything else I won't be apologizing for. I did nothing wrong.


'81 - Cont.
'88 - Disneyland
'89 - Maingate East
'91 - CBR
'94 - CBR
'95 - CBR
'98 - BC
'00 - WL
'01 - OKW
Well said, Figaro. I see where you are coming from. No one likes to be sucked into someone else's problems. I guess my point was that we should not lump all parents of young kids together. But, I totally see your point- it has happened to me before, too! ;)
Courtesy. What HAS happened to it? I never noticed people not holding doors open. I suppose I don't expect it? I don't know why.

Sometimes I think bad habits and acting like you don't give a crap about the people in our society is contagious.

The thinking seems to be, 'If that guy won't hold open a door for me, then why should I hold it open for her?' 'If that woman can throw a cigarette butt on the ground and leave it there, why can't I do it, too?'

I don't care what everyone else is doing. You know what? I hold open doors. I won't sit down at a restuarant until all the women have (old fashioned?) and I let people in front of me at the check out line if they have one or two things and I have a bunch of stuff. It makes me feel good and I hope it makes them feel good too.

But I don't expect people to go out of their way to do anything for me. If they do, I'm pleasantly surprised and I'll thank them. If not...well, so be it. Too bad for them I say. Doing things for people you don't even know is one of the things that make me feel good so I'm going to do it. A lot of people will never know what that feels like. I have to sat that they're really missing out on something special.



Disneyland - 1974
Disneyland - 1975
Disneyland - 1976
Disneyland - 1978
Disneyland - 1980
WDW - 1990
WDW - 1992
WDW - 1999
WDW - 2001 (4/28-5/5)
hmmmmmmm I wasn't going to get involved, BUT, just wanted to add my two cents worth . .First of all, I agree with Figaro in many ways:

First and foremost, I don't feel that anyone should have to give up their seat; the only time I will give my seat up is if I see someone who really needs to sit more than I do, ie, an older person, a pregnant woman, etc.

Second, (oh boy this is gonna be bad) I do not agree with the woman who yelled at Figaro only because she had no right to do so. I have been to WDW on many occasions and I have seen alot of people trying to cram the "magic" right down their toddler's throats. IMHO, I feel that that young of a child cannot enjoy a complete day touring WDW, not only because #1 he/she probably doesn't even realize where he/she is except for the fact that mommy and daddy keep saying "we're at Disney World Honey" "Look its Mickey" #2 A child cannot withstand the long day of the parks, dinner, then back to the parks for more excitement.

The entire problem here is that the parents want their children to have such a good time, they do not take into the consideration that their child just cannot handle it. Yes, its terrible that the child was falling asleep in the aisle, but Figaro is not to blame for that . .I'm sure Figaro also put in a full day of walking and touring and does anyone know how good it actually feels to SIT again?? I think that we should all just put this matter to rest now . . . everyone has stated their opinions and who's to say what's right and what's wrong?? It's all a matter of perspective.

On another note, I agree with Isles as well. Isles, I am a 33 year old female and I always make it a point to hold doors open if someone is behind me . . .my parents taught me very well. Unfortunately I can probably count on one hand how many times a door has been held open for me, but like you said so be it.


"Can't Wait Till Dec 1st!!"

88/Hyatt Orlando
91/Sheraton Lakeside
99/Grand Floridian
01/Contemporary Tower
02/Wilderness Lodge 15th Anniversary!!

"Believe in the Magic"

I read the whole thing and I agree 100% with Figaro. When we are taking the buses at DW, we make sure that there is enough seats for us on the bus. I will wait the additional 15 minutes if it means I dont have to stand with a 3 year old in the aisle of a moving bus.
Now...if I have waited for a new bus and get a seat, I am not giving it up unless there is a disabled, or an elderly person to give it up for. The mothers with children should wait for the next bus, it is a safety issue IMO.
Being courteous is another issue and after a day of getting pushed around in the parks, my courtesy is usually out the window.
By the way, I always hold open doors, always say thank you if someone holds it for me...however, I don't expect people to go out of their way for me.

This thread no longer appears to belong on the Disney for Families board, it is turning into a debate. Please check the board guidelines here and you will see that #3 is "no fighting" and #4 is "no personal messages". If folks would like to continue this debate on the debate board or via e-mail, please feel free to do so, but I am locking this thread now.
Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Assistant Webmaster DIS
Resorts Board Co-Moderator
Not open for further replies.


Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!

facebook twitter