Tired of one-sided friendship...

[dislaney]

Write the letter. Read the letter. Destroy the letter after reading it. Feel better for venting and then move on.

I just don't see any good from actually SENDING it. The relationship will die its own death in due course.

I totally agree. Write, read, and destroy. I have done this many times myself. Burn it if it makes you feel better!

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I wouldn't send a letter.

I'd just let it take it's course. I wouldn't initate contact anymore, send her a card at Christmas and see what happens.

 

[Hillbeans]

I'm thinking just let it fade naturally vs. causing all sorts of issues by sending the letter.

I've had many friends over the years that while we were in close proximity we were pretty close but then moves happen and I rarely hear from them after a bit, etc... It's just the way it goes...if they showed up tomorrow, we would probably get together and carry on just like before but no matter what your good intentions with sending the letter, it's going to cause hurt feelings and probably not going to have the intended outcome you are looking for.

It's not going to make her text you more or call more as a matter of fact, it will probably make your friend feel like you have basically attacked her, no matter how it's worded.

100% agree - sometimes it's just time to let it go - no drama, no fight.

Even best friends sometimes outgrow each other.

 

[cm8]

I have been a "friendship" like that before. I learned the hard way too, I used to do the calling, sending of the cards for the holidays, emails, and inviting to outings. I finally stopped. It was the best thing that I could have ever done. I was tired of the doing all the giving in the relationship while they moved on to other people. I guess they felt comfortable with the fact that it was me doing all the work and they were doing all the taking. When I stopped doing all those things, they started calling and asking if I was okay, said that they did not received ( insert card, call, email) from me in a while and just wanted to know if everything was fine. I did not even respond. I was tired of being the one to do it all. Lesson I learned was " don't make others a priority who make you an option". Since I have found that quote, I have lived by it and it (like Jesus) has never failed me yet! Try it, it works. I tell everyone, I didn't really have friends, I had "friendenemies" Haven't felt better. What ever you decide, good luck

 

[Disney Doll]

I have a friend that I have known since grammar school. For many years, she was my "best" friend. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy at times...at age 15 she ran away, pregnant and married by age 16, divorced by age 17, got her act together a bit, got an education and a good job to support her child, remarried at 21, stayed with that guy (who was a great guy!) till about age 38 or so when she determined that she was a lesbian. Divorced nice guy, married her partner (who was actually a lovely woman). Divorced wife last year. PS-I did go to all 3 weddings. Now she has determined that she is "probably" bisexual.

She's exhausting to be friends with. I was always the "stable" one...the caretaker. Early on, we weren't best friends because she was busy with the friends who were using her when she was fun to hang out with. Then she got pregnant, so no more partying and no more "fun". WE became very close because it seemed as if she was growing up, figuring out what was and wasn't important. Our really "best friend" relationship went on for a number of years...probably about 20 or so. Then she got into the lesbian thing, got very involved in her new world of friends, and left me behind again. It was time for me to let go of thinking she was my "best" friend. She's a friend. We're in touch on FB, email occasionally, Christmas cards etc. I wish her no ill. If she called tomorrow and was in trouble I'd help her to the best of my ability. But I no longer think she hung the moon, because, frankly, she stopped thinking I hung the moon a lot of years ago. Friendships change.

I'd accept this woman's friendship as she offers it. Everything doesn't have to have an "end point". There doesn't need to be drama. You're building a life in Florida, she's building a life in California, you two grew apart. So keep lightly in touch and move on. If she is mad about "something" it'll come out eventually.

Sorry... I do know it stinks....