Tired of dealing with this...

[WIcruizer]

Everyone's definition of a "slob" is different. This could be a case of him not putting things away, cleaning up, etc. IMMEDIATELY. Or if things are left out, maybe that's ok with him. It's not always a case of right or wrong, just different definitions of CLEAN. When people live together there will always be things that get on each other's nerves. You need to talk about it and come to an agreement. Stick to the things that bother you the most, and learn to live with the minor slob stuff.

 

[delilah]

My husband is also a member of the "slob club". This past weekend, I was on call. Last Thursday was my normal day off. I tidied the house as I always do on Thursday. We all went to work on Friday, as we always do. My husband did his usual "wherever it falls, that's where it will stay" routine, and by the time I got home from work Saturday (we do hospital rounds and see patients in the hospital on Saturday), it looked like a hurricane had swept through the house. My husband always gets this hurt look on his face, like "who me" when I ask him to pick up. We have a 8yo so, who I keep telling my husband that yelling at him to help clean up won't work unless he (dad) models the behavior. Now, my son had the day off school, and I had the day off work to stay with him. We just have been tidying up the house, and I have finished changing the beds, and the house looks like civilized people live here. I can't understand why I can keep the house tidy, and get my son to help, when my husband can't. But, I've given up trying to get him to help. He has his own special places that can be as messy as he wants. But, I won't go in there to clean. These places are his work room, his closet and an extra room downstairs.

 

[Aurora63]

Everyone's definition of a "slob" is different. This could be a case of him not putting things away, cleaning up, etc. IMMEDIATELY. Or if things are left out, maybe that's ok with him. It's not always a case of right or wrong, just different definitions of CLEAN. When people live together there will always be things that get on each other's nerves. You need to talk about it and come to an agreement. Stick to the things that bother you the most, and learn to live with the minor slob stuff.

Well, my definition is really not that picky...I would say that someone who..

...leaves half-eaten bananas on the coffee table

...throws wrappers onto the floor

...leaves clothing lying all over th place

qualifies as a slob. And all of the above really wouldn't bother me, if he would at least pick up after himself sometime during the day. I have to do it, why shouldn't he? I don't think that's being unrealistic...he is an adult human with opposable thumbs, after all .

 

[Michie]

Well, my definition is really not that picky...I would say that someone who..

...leaves half-eaten bananas on the coffee table

...throws wrappers onto the floor

...leaves clothing lying all over th place

qualifies as a slob. And all of the above really wouldn't bother me, if he would at least pick up after himself sometime during the day. I have to do it, why shouldn't he? I don't think that's being unrealistic...he is an adult human with opposable thumbs, after all .

Now that is just NASTY. Don't mean to offend you but..

Do you have cable or something he likes? If so, I would CANCEL it NOW, and use that money to hire somebody to come in and clean. Tell him you had to cancle something since a cleaning service was not in your budget.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hide everything.. And then when he asks, "Where's my xxxxx?", sweetly reply, "I don't know, honey.. Where did you leave it?"

That goes for the kids too!!!

I have officially taken myself off the running around finding people's crap in the morning. They yell...can you help me? Nope. I have told you to prepare your stuff the night before.
What is that saying???
Poor planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.

 

[madalynns mom]

I totally understand!! I love spending time with my husband but I can't stand when he has a day off!! During the week the house stays pretty clean but on the weekend the house gets trashed by him and his sloppy friends. I can't stand the wrappers, soda cans, dirty dishes, smelly socks. They're definitly slobs!! It makes me nuts

I CANT WAIT TO GO ON VACATION!! No cooking or cleaning for a week

 

[Marseeya]

When my DH and I were separated, my house was cleaner then it ever was when we were together. As soon as we reconciled, the house went to pot again. I'd much rather have him back than have a clean house back!

(still makes me nuts, but when it does, I remind myself of how lonely I was without him in the clean house)

 

[RadioFanatic]

SO . . . I had to work today, dh did not. The ONLY thing he had to do today was to put the laundry away (which I washed, folded, etc.) Guess what didn't get done today?

 

[Barb D]

Edited

 

[mickeyboat]

I've been the recipient of "how are you going to learn if I don't teach you a lesson?" Please don't do this to your spouse. It probably takes less energy just to pick up a few things (or step over them) than to be angry.

I don't know, Barb. I tried that route, once, but I just became resentful the entire time I was cleaning up after him. Which is worse?

I have a couple of comments to add:

It sounds like some of your DH's are realy slobs, yuck! Sometimes when I complain about DH, it's because I have higher standards as to what is clean, and what it soon enough (like WI commented). If I can let that go just a bit, I find I don't get so angry.

Also, DH complains a lot that he doesn't have anywhere in the house for himself and his stuff. I complain when he leaves his tools laying around, or his wallet, or the stuff in his pockets. But he truly doesn't have a place I accept for his stuff. So we set up an office in the cellar for him, and all his stuff (read, mess) goes down there.

Third, DH renovated our entire house, so he takes quite a bit of pride in how it looks. It has made for a much neater husband.

Denae

 

[Barb D]

I don't know, Barb. I tried that route, once, but I just became resentful the entire time I was cleaning up after him. Which is worse?

Edited...

 

[Caleb's Mom]

I had a friend with this very same problem with her DH so every time he left things laying around, including his work uniform, she'd just go out to the garage and put it into his boat! Now keep in mind that boat was his pride and joy -- okay to mess up the house but heaven forbid never the boat! One morning he woke early for work and asked her where his work uniforms were and she said, "I'm not sure honey, have you checked the boat lately?" He found his uniforms and lot of other belongings in that boat! It was never a problem after that day.
Me, when my DH gets sloppy I just pile his junk on his side of the bed or on top of the table saw in his workshop where it can't be avoided and must be dealt with before he either goes to bed or works in the shop. Yes, I know it's petty and immature but it makes me feel better.

 

[Michie]

Again, having been the recipient of this, I'd have to say you have a choice of dealing with it or causing more resentment in your marriage. It's a matter of choosing your battles. It's hard to be constantly never measuring up, told what to do and how to do things. There were times when I was tempted to tell him to go find another wife -- one who was an immaculate housekeeper, skinny, and able to raise children who get perfect test scores. I am not that woman.

Things are much better now than they used to be.

Her husband throws wrappers on the floor That is more than just not measuring up. If he did that at a park, it would be considered littering

 

[froglady]

When my DH and I were separated, my house was cleaner then it ever was when we were together. As soon as we reconciled, the house went to pot again. I'd much rather have him back than have a clean house back!

(still makes me nuts, but when it does, I remind myself of how lonely I was without him in the clean house)

ITA

When DH was deployed (and I was pregnant with my first) my house was immaculate, but I was soooo lonely. And as we enter our "senior" years (55 & 60) I know that our time together is limited. So when ever I start getting irritated with him, I ask myself if I really want the alternative? The same goes with DS. I know that I'll only be picking up after him for a few more years, then he'll be on his own...or driving some other woman crazy.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Her husband throws wrappers on the floor That is more than just not measuring up. If he did that at a park, it would be considered littering

I agree that it is disturbing to do such a thing in your own home.

It reminds me of an episode I saw on MTV's Cribs. (Yes I watch it sometimes...I like to see the homes ).

It was some rock group and he purposely threw a glass on the floor and laughed and told his wife to clean it up. He treated her like dirt!

Wrappers on the floor would be crossing that line in the sand.