Tipping & Holiday Gifts (Rant...sorry!!)

[JoiseyMom]

Ok, I have been reading the threads on tipping and holiday gifts for all these people. And my question is why??????? Ok, your babysitter, your hair dresser etc.. But the sanitation workers, your mail carrier?? Unless you are friends with them, why??????????? They do a job, they get a salary, they get benefits. Why are you giving them a gift for doing what they get paid to do? I didn't get tipped at my office job, or at the bank, or the mall jobs I worked at. Should bank tellers have tip jars out for processing your transaction?? Why are there tip jars at all these restaurants. Why am I supposed to put my change in a jar at Dunkin Donuts?? They get at least $7.00 an hour, they aren't delivering food or waitressing that only pays 2.00 an hour, and where the tips are part of their expected salaries. I am not a scrooge, I am not cheap, I tip well at restaurants, but it is getting out of hand.

My dd is in 4th grade. Her class is collecting $10.00 per child. Excuse me, but a $200+ gift is a bit much. My ds is in pre-school, and they want a gift for the music teacher and the gym teacher. People that are with my son less then 1 hour a week. When is it too much??? As a side note, I did contribute to my dd teacher and my ds class, but an amount I found acceptable.

Hey, maybe I should put a tip jar on my kitchen table, think my kids or husband will put something in there??

Go ahead and flame away, but I feel better now.

 

[DwarfMaster]

I couldn't agree more!

I just don't understand either. I don't think I've ever even met my mail carrier & I've been at the same address for 10 years.

 

[CinRell]

No flames here I totally agree we have a different mail carrier every week it seems and sometimes they decide to come by 5 p.m.... they are paid for their job and some even get Xmas bonuses from their employers.. I'm scrimping to get decent gifts for family I can't see handing out $200 in tips for everyone who provides a... paid.. service for me during the holidays!

 

[The Disney Bunch]

Actually mail carriers are prohibited by law from accepting tips or gifts.

I agree- the gift giving & tips get out of hand - I don't get tips or gifts for doing my job, why is it acceptable for other professions to get tips or gifts?

 

[PlaneJoy1]

Totally AGREE!!!!

It has gotten out of hand! Tip the sandwich maker??? His whole job is to make my sandwich! Gifts for the mailman? I couldn't even tell you who mine is, and they get paid to deliver my mail. Maybe "back in the day" when they walked the route and rang your doorbell and said "here ya go Mrs. Jones" but it is definitely not like that anymore.

Maybe I should put on my flame suit as well.

 

[ohiominnie]

Actually mail carriers are prohibited by law from accepting tips or gifts.

Cookies must not count b/c my mailman accepts those every year!

edited to add: my mailman drops off lots of packages to my door and when I do carrier pick up, he comes to the door to get them too. he's very friendly and always has a smile. a few dozen cookies seems appropriate.

 

[fiveforall]

As a teacher who puts in a regular school day, plus countless extra hours devoted to grading papers, planning lessons, sponsoring school events, working ballgames, etc. AND who spends hundreds of dollars of my own money on supplies for my classroom each year, I think a little "tip" would be nice. My profession doesn't give me bonuses, nor does it pay me any extra for the non-teaching duties I perform---nurse, police officer, counselor, even parent. I am not the minority; ask any teacher. The majority of us devote a huge part of our lives to YOUR children. Do I expect gifts? Of course not. I get complaints when I ask parents to buy supplemental $4.00 books. But, a little "thanks for all your hard work" certainly would be nice. I think $10 per kid is not asking a lot.

I apologize for the rant, but when I see how hard my colleagues and myself work, I don't think a $10 gift is too much.

 

[rcpae]

I had never thought of it like your post OP, but that makes complete sense to me.

 

[scrappinmom]

I totally agree...for the most part...I DO give my mailman a gift every year. We live in a small downtown area of the city..he does walk the route, does hand me my mail by saying "good morning Chris", talks to my kids, brings my dog a treat in the summer & he's walking by. Now whether he tells the po he's gotten a gift I don't know...

As for the tip jar at Starbucks, Subway whatever..100% agree with ya there!

& I know teachers work hard...but what ever happened to the CHILD creating a smal token gift to say "thanks" ....my dd's always pick out a small token (ok so they have 200 coffee mugs) but it comes from my child's heart and that's how it should be/

 

[swilshire]

Several of my kids' teachers through the years have gently suggested that, should we want to give them a gift, we give a specific thing they need for their classroom, such as books or whatever. I am always happy to do that, because I know they probably tire of the endless gifts of mugs and ornaments. The only two who were ever easy to buy for were the Disney nuts. I always had fun picking out their gifts.

On the other hand, there are many in our schools that would be embarrassed if ask to contribute $10 per child. I have four kids. Even as a middle class person, $40 at this time of year is just another inconvenience, particularly if it isn't planned for. Many of the kids in our schools get free lunches. We have a few schools around where almost ALL the kids qualify. $10 would be a LOT to them, particularly at this time of year with the extra heating costs.

I got an envelope from our relatively new paper carrier pretty much asking for a tip. My best tip to her would be that she learn to deliver all the darn paper and not throw it on the ground because she's too lazy to put it in the paper box. Even if I were inclined to give her a tip, asking for it would have changed my mind.

I don't put tips in the jars at fast food restaurants either. I tip generously when we actually get service, even at buffets. I don't count throwing a sandwich at me as service.

And you MAY give the mailman cookies or other items of nominal value with no concern that he will violate the company ethics policies. And, no, they don't get any kind of holiday bonuses, unless their managers provide them with a meal or something as some do.

Happy Holidays to all!

Sheila

 

[kizmac]

I agree it is getting way out of control. They were talking about this same issue on the radio one day and a guy who was a mover called in complaining about not getting tipped by everyone. He's a mover for goodness sakes! The radio guy thought it was absurd also.

I also don't tip my mailman and guess what my own father is also a mailman. He is a rural mailman and gets a ton of stuff from people on his route every holiday. I think things are very different in rural areas though because there is more contact and more interaction out there with the mail route people. He knows them all quite well. I have never met my mailman nor do I even know his name. I do know that they make an awesome salary so I just don't see the point. Should we be tipping the UPS or Fedex guy too?

I like to give a small say around $5 teacher gift but I have 4 kids in school so that's about all I can afford anyhow. I think that is a bit insane to collect $10 per child. None of my kids classes have ever done that thank goodness. I do like to remember the kids bus drivers but I would not go as far as the music teacher, gym teacher etc. And as for the garbage people.......heck, I'm usually cussing them out every week for hurling my garbage cans all over or leaving them out on the busy road so they would definitely not be on my list.

I am all for holiday giving and tipping but it is out of control IMO....I used to be a waitress myself, but I made only $2.40 an hour. I just don't see why a girl working an ice cream counter or I think I've even seen tip jars at Starbucks should be tipped for doing their job. The certainly don't make $2.40 and hour or I don't think they would be working there. Not saying their salary is fantastic, but hey then you may as well start tipping the kid at Sheetz making your hoagie or ringing up your gas. LOL

 

[tiff211]

To me a tip should given when the person providing the service goes above and beyond, then I don't mind going above and beyond and giving them a something extra.

 

[disneymom225]

I am a teacher and I think $200 is a lot for the teacher but does it include supplies for a party? I give a gift to the mail carrier b/c she goes above and beyond-she will always, always carry stuff to the house if it won't fit in the box by the street. I love the holidays and think of it as a time to show people that you are thankful for everything they do during the year. I'll make cookies for the trash guys (in our area they make practically nothing and have a lousy job! I also make chili for them when they plow our street--BTW- we get our street cleared really early compared to other streets in our town!). I don't do anything that I feel I can't afford and I don't get guilted into things. I enjoy doing something-most of the time I get Wawa (local convience store) gift cards-everyone can use them and $5 or $10 can get lunch or a few cups of coffee!

 

[horseshowmom]

I agree too! I don't mean to be a Grinch, but this stuff really adds up.

 

[ntburns22]

In my area a lot of people could not afford a $10 gift for everyone. Last year we gave gifts to my DD's dance teachers and we were given the oddest looks from the other parents and the teachers too. We later found out in the 5 years they have been open we were the first to give them a gift at Christmas time. I guess it all depends on where you live. I don't see anyone in my area leaving a tip to the mailcarrier let alone the sanation workers.

 

[txgirl]

My dd is in 4th grade. Her class is collecting $10.00 per child. Excuse me, but a $200+ gift is a bit much. My ds is in pre-school, and they want a gift for the music teacher and the gym teacher. People that are with my son less then 1 hour a week. When is it too much??? As a side note, I did contribute to my dd teacher and my ds class, but an amount I found acceptable..

I agree with everything except this part. You are only gifting her $10.00. Why do you care how much the teacher is getting in total? Lots of people won't give at all so she probably won't get $200 total but if you didn't make a collection I bet you she would get at least that much collective "stuff" that cost at least that much. "Stuff" that she may or may not use. Teachers spend more time with our kids than anyone......ever. Even staying home with my kids they are outside, upstairs, at a friends, watching a movie, etc. At school they are with their teacher a large part of their day. Sure they are teaching and getting paid for that, BUT they also wipe away tears, mediate between girlie catfights, step in between brawls over the playground kickball game, listen to parents whine and rant over how their child learns a "special way" and needs "more attention" when their child has never been anything but disrespectful to him/or her.

My children's teachers have shaped their lives. Heck my teachers shaped my life! Not always in the best way, but I tell you I make that teacher/parent relationship one of the most important ones in my life while my kids are in school. I look at us as co-workers in raising our kids. Sure it's my "responsibility" and I completely own that, BUT you must acknowledge the influence of these very important people in our child's life. My children think of their teachers when they say their prayers at night, when they see a car like the one their teacher drives, when they think of a funny story that their teacher tells or "can we buy this for Ms. ________? but Mom, she loves Diet Pepsi!"

Whew, sorry for that rant. I completely agree about everything else! I feel like tips are reserved for a personal service and you are saying with the tip "hey, you did an exceptional job and I appreciate it ".

Someone posted on the other board that they work in bad weather, but there are hundreds of underpaid people who work outside and no tip for them? I think this area is gray and to each their own?

 

[maggiew]

I tip our garbage guy, the mail guy, the newspaper guy. I think "my" guys do an above average job. The garbage man has taken extra material from us when it doesn't fit in the can. I KNOW the mail guy. He even let my dad read some of his old copies of the Letter Carrier magazine because my dad is a retired letter carrier (my dad lives with us). Our newspaper guy is always on time and our paper is NEVER wet.

But, my feelings are, if you don't want to tip these guys, then DON'T. No one is forcing you.

Now, collecting $10 per kid for a teacher is maybe difficult for some. I don't necessarily agree with that one. Although I think it may depend on where you live. I know in some areas, there are kids who can't afford that. In others, I think the parents spend that much on a double mocha latte at Starbucks each day. But, I think, if you want to give your teacher a gift to thank them for their hard work, then its great. If not, then don't. I do not think the teachers think less of you if you dont' gift.

I do not have a service type job (well, I am a college instructor), but my boss does give me a little gift at Christmas. He also takes everyone out to a Christmas lunch.

Maggie

 

[shades]

As a teacher who puts in a regular school day, plus countless extra hours devoted to grading papers, planning lessons, sponsoring school events, working ballgames, etc. AND who spends hundreds of dollars of my own money on supplies for my classroom each year, I think a little "tip" would be nice. My profession doesn't give me bonuses, nor does it pay me any extra for the non-teaching duties I perform---nurse, police officer, counselor, even parent. I am not the minority; ask any teacher. The majority of us devote a huge part of our lives to YOUR children. Do I expect gifts? Of course not. I get complaints when I ask parents to buy supplemental $4.00 books. But, a little "thanks for all your hard work" certainly would be nice. I think $10 per kid is not asking a lot.

I apologize for the rant, but when I see how hard my colleagues and myself work, I don't think a $10 gift is too much.

Just like any other jobs, this is the profession you chose. My daughter is currently in the 8th grade. So far, she has had 2 "exceptional" teachers that I purchased nice gifts for. Not all teachers are deserving of gifts simply because it is their job to work with my child.

There are plenty of professions that require more than a typical 40hr work week. I spent 20 yrs in the military with more 12-16 hr days than I care to remember. Phone calls in the middle of the night telling me to report here and there. I had to leave my family for 6 mos. at a time for deployments. Yet, I never received a bonus. I never received any overtime pay. This was my JOB and I didn't expect anything from anybody because it was my choice.

Split hairs if you wish on the type of profession that deserves a $10 gift and which profession is more important than another. However, fact is - we all work hard - and a lot of us work long hours. I prefer to buy gifts for those I choose - not just because they happen to be a school teacher.

So, where is the smiley face with a little flame suit on....'cause I think it is about to get hot in here!

 

[dis ms.]

Well said, OP!

You won't get any flames from me. ITA. The whole gift thing is out of hand. I have plenty of gifts to buy...for people I actually know. If I don't know your first name, your chances aren't good for getting a gift from me. Sorry, Mr./Ms. Sanitation Worker, Meter Reader, Recycling Person, Street Plower, etc.

BTW, I'm wondering why people are commending their mail carrier for bringing packages to their door that won't fit in their mailbox. Aren't they supposed to do that? I mean, where else would they put large packages? On the curb?

 

[Kramer]

Actually mail carriers are prohibited by law from accepting tips or gifts.

Actually, they are allowed to accept gifts up to $20.