Those of you who have cruised with teens

[SeaSpray]

Hi everyone:

The thread about The Stack got me thinking about some things regarding teens.

Next summer when we cruise, our DSs will be almost 16 1/2 and almost 13 1/2. DH and I have discussed this, and we've told DSs that we expect them to eat dinner with us EVERY night, unless we go to Palo or we/they make other arrangements in advance. We also want them to see the major shows such as Disney Dreams and Golden Mickeys with us. Otherwise, if they want to order room service for breakfast and eat it on the verandah, or eat lunch with their new friends, or go see a movie on their own, we are fine with that. We'll also give them a curfew at night. We plan on allowing them charging priveledges so they can buy a smoothie or two each day. (We've already told them: If we allow 2 smoothies a day, and on one day you only drink 1 smoothie, that doesn't mean you can have 3 the next day! LOL). We will buy them arcade cards if they want them. So other than the smoothies, they'll have no reason to charge anything without our permission. Also, they are not allowed off the ship without us. (I'm assuming that Disney wouldn't let them off the ship alone anyway since they're under 18...????).

My questions are: Do you think the above guidelines are reasonable? Did you give your teens a curfew, and if so, what time was it?? Have any of you had problems with your teens while on board the Magic or Wonder??

 

[allears]

Hi SeaSpray!

We followed about those exact guidelines with our DD on our last three cruises. Dinner, show and shore excursions with the family. Other than that it was at her discretion (with our approval) She was 13,14 & 15. As far as a curfew, we went ahead and let her stay out as long as there were counselors with them (which is pretty late as I remember). She had a blast each cruise and as far as we know everything was safe and wonderful. Our next cruise coming up will have her brother joining her for the first time and she's not at all thrilled about that, but he is! Have a great time!

 

[Grumpy's Mom]

We are taking our first cruise on the Magic 12/20 - with two DDS - 13 and 17. Your guidelines are exactly what I had in mind -- I have grave concerns over the Bingo and dd-13!!

I think these are more than fair - they have almost complete freedom, and I think mine will enjoy having some family time to fill us in on what they have been doing.

One thing -- mine will be wearing walkie/talkies - They are really good about letting us know where they are at home - the eldest phones when she arrives somewhere, and when she is leaving - I don't expect to have any problem with them checking in once in a while so I know they are safe and okay. Even though this is Disney, things happen, and I would rather them be in touch with me all day -- I think they would rather that, also.

 

[jds]

I agree that your guidelines seem quite reasonable.

Just wanted to warn you that there seems to be something of a teen "tradition" to stay out all night the last night of the cruise... on our 7-day the summer before last, the two 15yos in our large family group were quite peeved that their parents insisted they return to their cabins when the teen programming ended--at 2AM! We talked with several CMs who said that a lot of teens DO stay out much later than that, and that they have extra "patrols" of the public deck areas that night to discourage hanky panky!

 

[Cruise04]

We did the same thing with my daughter and she knows our feelings about family meals so it was a no brainer for her. There was one night that she did the Fury Catamaran and we had late seating. It was to last until 9pm so we gave her the option of returning the room and changing and coming down to eat with us or eating in Topsiders with the other kids if that's what they were going to do. When she got back she got changed, came down to the restaurant and told us she decided she wanted to go back to the room and order room service. We took two way radios with us and so we had one in the restaurant and she had one on her. She was very good about checking in.

If she wanted to do an activity and it was a late activity, as long as she had the two way radio (I was leary about her getting back to the room by herself at night safely, just was) she could stay out as late as she wanted. I would go to sleep with the radio on the nightstand next to me and we would open the closet door a bit so there was a little bit of light when she came in. I would hear her come in or she would wake me to let me know she was in. Ended up working very well.

 

[ivanova]

We go on our first cruise in 9 days (whoo hoo!!) and will have 13 year old DD with us....

We are giving her a charging limit as well, but we gave her a total for the cruise which she can spend on smoothies as she wants (so if she gets only one the first day, she could have three the next day). And smoothies are the ONLY thing she is to charge ... she is fully aware that I can walk into Guest Services at any time and get a print out of the bill, and will know who charged what.

As for curfew we have told her that we expect her in the room no later than 30 minutes after official teen club activities stop (which is 1am or 2am). The exception is our 2nd night, because we have to be up at 6am in Freeport for an excursion, I want her in bed at a "decent" hour the night before.

We aren't loaded up with excursions, we have the one in Freeport that we are doing as a family and that's it. We are also allowing her to do the two teen excursions (dance in Nassau and Wild Side in Castaway Cay). I don't believe they let the teens off the ship unless they have a signed form from the parents....

She is required to eat dinner with us every night, except for when we go to Palo's. I'm not going to require her to go to the shows, but I'm going to suggest that she go ... don't care if she sits with us or with some of her newfound friends.

 

[jgalecpa]

[bold]Hooray!!!!![/bold]

Parents who set (very reasonable and sensible) limits!

Society thanks all of you now, and they will thank you in the future!

You are an inspiration to parents everywhere.

Now give yourselves pats on the back.


Jim

 

[SeaSpray]

Thanks for the comments so far!

allears: I agree with letting the teens stay out "late", as long as there are counselors there too!

Grumpy'sMom: We have walkie-talkies and have considered bringing them with us. Our DSs are usually very responsible. I think we'll initially not require them to take the walkie-talkies, but if they don't let us know where they are every once in a while, then we'd make them carry them. We do plan on bringing a small pad of paper with us so they can leave us notes to let us know where they are. We'll see how that works.

jds: I've read about that, too, and we've decided that as long as they've been responsible up until that point, we'll most likely let them stay up on the last night. DH and I really do want them to have as good of a time as possible, as long as they behave responsibly. It's good to know they have extra "patrols" out on the last night. LOL

Cruise04: We're planning on having DSs do the teen catamaran excursion too. I realize that on that particular night, they probably won't make it to dinner with us, although we do have the late seating. If they want to eat dinner with their friends after, that's fine with us, as long as they let us know beforehand and check in with us when they get back from the excursion.

ivanova: I think that's a good idea, to give a curfew within a certain time after the teen lounge closes for the night. We're planning on doing the Tulum Ruins excursion while we're docked in Cozumel. That's a long day and that night is the teen catamaran excursion, so we'll want them in bed a bit earlier the night before, so I agree with you about having an earlier curfew on the nights before early excursions.

Jim: Thanks.... We're only looking out for our kids, wanting them to have the best time possible, while letting them know that they need to be responsible in order to receive the priviledge of (limited) freedom while on the cruise!

 

[jgalecpa]

WOW!

while letting them know that they need to be responsible in order to receive the priviledge of (limited) freedom while on the cruise!

Priviledges that go hand-in-hand with responsibilities!

What a concept.

I have the feeling in 20 years you will be very proud of the way your children have turned out.

Bonnie:

I know we think alike! Our girls will have virtually identical limits. None of this "But Meghans mom...."

Jim

 

[justcruisin]

We also ask DS13 to stay in the public areas of the ship ... no wandering the halls, or visiting other cabins. As the week go on, we allow him to stay out later. He needed to call us by midnight ... if it was 12:02, he would need to return. He quickly learned 12:02 is NOT by midnight!

 

[DMOMof3]

Just wanted to warn you that there seems to be something of a teen "tradition" to stay out all night the last night of the cruise... on our 7-day the summer before last, the two 15yos in our large family group were quite peeved that their parents insisted they return to their cabins when the teen programming ended--at 2AM! We talked with several CMs who said that a lot of teens DO stay out much later than that, and that they have extra "patrols" of the public deck areas that night to discourage hanky panky!

jds

is there anything open after 2am or do the teens just roam around the ship?

mine are 12, 14 & 17 and I don't think I would let them stay out all night.

 

[sitchu2]

I was on last feb western with 16 and 13 year old ds. They stayed out till about 2am every night and 5am the last night. The councelors did an excellent job, and we felt safe. They had a nice group of kids to hang out with.

One night i heard talking in the hall at midnight so I looked out my door and found about 15 teens sitting in the hallway . They called from common grounds for room service to my stateroom, a nd were waiting to collect the pizza, ect. Then they all brought it down to CG had a party, and from what I understand returned the dishes (as directed by counselor) in front of the walt disney suite. Made them all feel a bit like rebels, while being safely supervised. Good psychology there.

I asked my sons to show for dinner each night and attend the shows we didnt already see together.

Disney does not allow minors to leave the ship without parents. Castaway Cay was the only port we let them do their own thing on teen beach.


This past summer we went on the 3 day cruise for a quick fix , and the crowd was noticably rougher. Our kids didnt have much in common with many of the others, only a few. They told us they will never go on a 3 day again. We had been on a 4 day march 2002 and they met nice friends and had a nice time then as well.

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by sitchu2
Disney does not allow minors to leave the ship without parents. Castaway Cay was the only port we let them do their own thing on teen beach.


This past summer we went on the 3 day cruise for a quick fix , and the crowd was noticably rougher. Our kids didnt have much in common with many of the others, only a few. They told us they will never go on a 3 day again. We had been on a 4 day march 2002 and they met nice friends and had a nice time then as well.

Thanks for the info. I think we'd feel comfortable letting them go to the teen beach on their own on Castaway Cay too.

I hope my DSs will have a good group of kids to spend their time with on the cruise. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I WANT them to spend all their time away from us, but I want them to have fun on this cruise, kwim?? I am normally very protective with them at home, but we love the idea of being able to offer them some "freedom" within the confines of the ship/cruise.

 

[sitchu2]

Sea Spray

I am extremely protective at home. I always know who they are with and where they are and what they are doing and we dont even have a curfew, its if your not doing something meaningful you are home. (movies friends house sports ect)

I did feel funny about the late nights on the ship, but then I realized that they were "home" being on the ship, and what a wonderful thing this was for them. So it is partially for them that we continue to plan cruises, so if they become bored, they will not be so eager to rebel, when theyve got some wonderful vacations in their future. I think its a useful tool in bringing up good kids.

The internet has also given them a social life with their friends on schoolnights, within the safety of home, matter of fact they have continued to communicate with friends they had met on last feb. cruise. Their is a category on my oldest sons aim "cruise friends"

 

[moocow35]

This will be my teens 5th cruise. She has always be required to join me for dinner. She has seen the shows too many times (unlike me who would watch them over and over) so she doesn't join me at the shows. Of course she comes on the excursions with me, and is not allowed to roam the ports alone. The last night it is a ritual for them all to stay out all night. We have never had any problems, she is just very tired for the trip home.

Robin

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by sitchu2
Sea Spray

I am extremely protective at home. I always know who they are with and where they are and what they are doing and we dont even have a curfew, its if your not doing something meaningful you are home. (movies friends house sports ect)

I did feel funny about the late nights on the ship, but then I realized that they were "home" being on the ship, and what a wonderful thing this was for them. So it is partially for them that we continue to plan cruises, so if they become bored, they will not be so eager to rebel, when theyve got some wonderful vacations in their future. I think its a useful tool in bringing up good kids.

EXACTLY. They have no curfew at home because they're never "just out". I tried not to describe myself as "over protective" because in this day and age I don't think there is such a thing. But just like you, I know where my DSs are at ALL times. This is why DH and I are excited for them about this cruise.... They're good kids and we feel they really deserve to have some freedoms on the cruise (within limits! LOL)

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by moocow35
This will be my teens 5th cruise. She has always be required to join me for dinner. She has seen the shows too many times (unlike me who would watch them over and over) so she doesn't join me at the shows. Of course she comes on the excursions with me, and is not allowed to roam the ports alone. The last night it is a ritual for them all to stay out all night. We have never had any problems, she is just very tired for the trip home.

Robin

I'm sure our DSs will be exhausted on the last morning, too. But I figure we'll be going from the port to Disney World, so they can sleep on the way over. We're not planning on going to any parks that day. We're planning on relaxing at the resort we stay at, and then go to a few good restaurants onsite.

 

[Grumpy's Mom]

Originally posted by SeaSpray
EXACTLY. They have no curfew at home because they're never "just out". I tried not to describe myself as "over protective" because in this day and age I don't think there is such a thing. But just like you, I know where my DSs are at ALL times. This is why DH and I are excited for them about this cruise.... They're good kids and we feel they really deserve to have some freedoms on the cruise (within limits! LOL)

Seaspray - mine do not have a curfew either -- everything is on a case by case basis, depending on where they are going and who they are with. This just makes more sense to me - there are no arbitrary rules -- they know why they have to be home at a certain time, and this has NEVER been abused. There is a lot more of a two way discussion going on than just a time limit to be broken. Keeps me in the loop, so to speak!

Jim -- I agree -- we may need to con

My edit : - we may need to consult on occasion!!

 

[DMOMof3]

These boards have been great for putting together information for our upcoming cruise. I can't imagine what kind of a vacation I would have had had I not found them.

I think my kids will enjoy the freedom they will get being able to come and go as they please, as long as I know where they are. Maybe the last night "all nighter" will be something they will have to earn during the cruise. At least I know about it now and won't be suprised when my teens anounce they will be out all night on the last night.

Thanks everyone!

 

[mmouse37]

We have been sailing with DCL since the very first cruise of the Magic back in '98....then my kids were 8, 13, 14. After 9 DCL cruises they have pretty much graduated thru all the kid/teen clubs and into the adult areas. On our last cruise this past May the teens were 15, 18, and 19. What a difference....the older two now enjoy all the adult activities on the ship like Palo and adult pool and the 15 year old still loves Common Grounds. They always meet great friends and continue to keep in touch with a lot of them they have met onboard over the years. The older ones even hang out in Rockin Bar D and participate in all the theme nights.

Ove the years they would wait with anticipation for our next cruise, especially when it was a year that they would transition into the next age appropriate club!!! Let's face it...the cruise is just about the only place they will let mom and dad dance within 50 ft of them....LOL...it is great to share experiences and fun with them. We have so, so many wonderful family memories onboard we are constantly saying....remember when such and such happened on the cruise and we all say yeah....that was great!!!

They love coming to dinner with us and then split to do their own things. They have seen the shows countless times so we are fine with them missing those. They even like dressing for formal night!!!

http://community.webshots.com/photo/74573094/74574982tjzptL

http://community.webshots.com/photo/74573094/75860689oRTh

http://community.webshots.com/photo/48196942/48732623ZxIcQmbk

http://community.webshots.com/photo/61021700/61022852rLQUQT

Can't wait for our next cruise...though now that they are in college it is going to be a bit tougher to plan anymore family cruises...but you never know!!!


MJ