This parent was wrong

[StanH]

I would have gone and sat at the table with the parents, said "Hi", then started picking food off of their plate with my fingers.....Maybe they would have got the message then? What do you think???

 

[crisi]

Yes, she should have said something, but this was so outside the bounds of acceptable (sitting at someone else's table) that she shouldn't have needed to. Personally, I'd be as mad as having to say "hey, remove your kid from my table" as I'd be with the kid at the table in the first place.

(Little kids catching you eye - even wandering over - and saying hi are a different thing than a kid climbing on the chairs at your table).

 

[robinb]

I guess I should have said something. In a way they were right I was to tired to deal with it. I love kids we have 3.

I'm glad you recooped enough energy today to kvetch about this and start up a whole new "Kids are Brats and Parents are Terrible!" thread. It's been ... oh ... two or thre days since we've had a good one.

Were your kids with you? Were they interacting with the him? IMO if it bothered you then you should have said something to the parents or returned the kid to his own table. It's really no biggie.

 

[jjarman]

I like the idea of offering the kid a drink. Now, before you scream I wouldn't really give the kid a drink of alcohol or even out of my glass but I guarand**tey you it would get the parents' attention. Then you would read about it here how some crazy woman tried to give her little angel a beer when the little angel happen to wander by her table.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Well, dh and I would have offered to buy the parents a drink in return for their child.

Why any parent would find the behavior of the parents (child is blameless) acceptable is beyond my comprehension. Either the parents were clueless/ crazy or just hoping for someone else to take care of their child. Maybe someone should have told them about Fairy Godmothers.

 

[Scraper]

I did not start this thread because I was still bothered with this. I just thought it was worth metioning. It seemed odd to me. Our children were not with us on this trip. I spoke several times to the child and ask him if he thought he should go back and set with his Mommyand Daddy. I would think that they heard me and chose to ignore me. I did not want to become confrontational so we did our best to laugh it off and enjoy our dinner.

 

[momrek06]

I did not start this thread because I was still bothered with this. I just thought it was worth metioning. It seemed odd to me. Our children were not with us on this trip. I spoke several times to the child and ask him if he thought he should go back and set with his Mommyand Daddy. I would think that they heard me and chose to ignore me. I did not want to become confrontational so we did our best to laugh it off and enjoy our dinner.

Scraper: I have already posted on this Thread BUT I will just add...it is not the youngster's fault...his parents have let him down...in the fashion that THEY should have NOT ALLOWED the child to linger and lurk on you and your DH while eating. SIMPLY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR on the parents.

 

[Scraper]

Scraper: I have already posted on this Thread BUT I will just add...it is not the youngster's fault...his parents have let him down...in the fashion that THEY should have NOT ALLOWED the child to linger and lurk on you and your DH while eating. SIMPLY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR on the parents.

No it was not the little guys fault. I ment his parents must have heard me.

 

[snowwite]

I would have gone and sat at the table with the parents, said "Hi", then started picking food off of their plate with my fingers.....Maybe they would have got the message then? What do you think???

LOL! I think that would be a scream!

 

[brymolmom]

OT OT OT but this reminds me so much of where I attend MASS.

Every Sunday there are many parents (at our church) that will walk in with their child under age 4 and seems that child will be quiet UNTIL Mass starts...then these parents cannot seem to control their child OR rather choose NOT TO.

Our Pastor has lovely "crying rooms" in the back of the church so parents can see and hear everything. NO ONE WOULD USE THEM.

He then decided to wire a huge plasma TV set in the church hall right below the church itself and allow parents to take their children down there and the children can run around and scream and cry and NOT BOTHER ANYONE all the while the parents can still see everything going on up at Mass.

NO ONE, I REPEAT NO ONE WILL GO DOWN THERE. Instead, every Sunday, we have to listen to screaming, crying, loud talking.

MOMS AND DADS...take shifts at Mass while the kiddos are young. DH & I did that for YEARSSSS. It just is not right to impose your out of control children on other people coming to spend one day a week, one hour a week at Mass.

SORRY, OP, for the OT!!!

I agree with most of the posts on the restaurants, but I'll have to disagree with the Church comparison. Much to the distressed of a dark-haired woman who sits just across from us every Sunday - I believe that the whole family should attend as a unit.

Really - how will the children learn how they're supposed to behave at Mass if they're at home or in a back room somewhere? I would agree with you that uncontrollable behavior should not go on for long...but you didn't mention anything too uncontrollable (except the screaming - but as long as it stopped right away...) - loud-ish 'whispering', questions and occasional 'is it done now?' in addition to some Old MacDonald versus in conjuntion with the Amen song are expected from the little ones still learning how to behave, and that is not uncontrollable. And, really, I know that God expects and is happy with this. If he had wanted quiet toddlers - he wouldn't have made them so energetic and full of curiosity! So, really - that's all that matters.

Now, if my kids do get a little out of control - then I take them to the crying room as the 'timeout' room.

If I could just get the woman sitting across from us to hear this...as she gives us the 'evil' eye - if she needs to hear every word - she shouldn't sit in a place in the last row (we try to stay out of the way) - where she knows a 2 and 4 year old Churchgoers-in-training will be sitting.

I have no problem with people who use the babysitting or leave the kids with grandma - but I prefer to bring them. I feel that they are the miracles I have been blessed to have a part in making - and it only makes sense to have them with me.

 

[maxiesmom]

"Eh hem....excuse me...my babysitting fees start at about the price of our dinner and continue to around the price of our vacation. Charges start (looks at watch).......now"

or:

"If I'm babysitting, you're buying dinner, right? In addition to dinner, I also charge $8 an hour."

 

[momrek06]

I agree with most of the posts on the restaurants, but I'll have to disagree with the Church comparison. Much to the distressed of a dark-haired woman who sits just across from us every Sunday - I believe that the whole family should attend as a unit.

Really - how will the children learn how they're supposed to behave at Mass if they're at home or in a back room somewhere? I would agree with you that uncontrollable behavior should not go on for long...but you didn't mention anything too uncontrollable (except the screaming - but as long as it stopped right away...) - loud-ish 'whispering', questions and occasional 'is it done now?' in addition to some Old MacDonald versus in conjuntion with the Amen song are expected from the little ones still learning how to behave, and that is not uncontrollable. And, really, I know that God expects and is happy with this. If he had wanted quiet toddlers - he wouldn't have made them so energetic and full of curiosity! So, really - that's all that matters.

Now, if my kids do get a little out of control - then I take them to the crying room as the 'timeout' room.

If I could just get the woman sitting across from us to hear this...as she gives us the 'evil' eye - if she needs to hear every word - she shouldn't sit in a place in the last row (we try to stay out of the way) - where she knows a 2 and 4 year old Churchgoers-in-training will be sitting.

I have no problem with people who use the babysitting or leave the kids with grandma - but I prefer to bring them. I feel that they are the miracles I have been blessed to have a part in making - and it only makes sense to have them with me.

Toddlers are young for just a short time and really if the parents are getting nothing out of the Mass because they are too busy pouring cheerios into a cup, picking up books falling all over the pew, grabbing keys away from toddlers really what is the point of them being there other than distrubing other parishioners from their one hour of peace at Mass. I just think it is totally unfair. My DS' went with us very early. If for one minute they were disruptive we left. We would go to the crying room and then basically with DS#2 I waited until he was really ready to attend Mass when I was not there CATERING TO HIM through the entire Mass. My family as a UNIT has no business at Mass imposing my family as a UNIT's RUDENESS on anyone. It is one hour a week. People want to go to pray and think and ponder about the Mass and the Gospel and the Priest's awe inspiring Homily and not want some loud, screaming, crying child "upstaging" all that the Mass stands for!

For the record: despite the fact my DS' did not attend regular Sunday Mass until they were 4yo did not distrub or disrupt us as a family unit in the least.
DS' went on to Catholic Elementary, Catholic High School and BOTH now attend a Catholic College here in the Northeast. They both remain VERY religious. My DS#2 serves Mass at his College every Sunday night @10PM.

I am sorry if I come off sounding but I am so for Mass but I want PEACE when I go. Not a (loud) family attempting to be a UNIT at MY LOSS of a peaceful time at MASS.

 

[mom_of_5]

Oh I just have to jump in here. As far as the restaurant goes, we have a strict policy of everyone sits and does not get up unless going to the buffet or bathroom, NO EXCEPTIONS. They all comply, even the 1 1/2 year old, if she is fussy we take turns outside the restaurant. I am not about to disrupt anyones meal. We have had people at very nice places look at us when we walk in (evil eye) thinking here comes trouble, then when they leave more times than I can count they have come up to us to compliment our family. It is very hard work but worth it.
As far as Mass well I agree going as a family unit is very important to me and since our church does not offer either a nursery or a cry room most of us parents use the back rows for quick escapes when it gets too loud. If you are sitting in the back row with us and you have no kids, well I do not feel sorry for you at all when the front rows are ALWAYS empty. How are we supposed to teach our children how to go to Mass and respect God and church if we suddenly bring them at 4 or 5 years old. It usually takes us unitll they are 3 to understand what I mean when I give them the look or tap them on the head. Again, it is hard work but as parents we are expected to teach our children and no one ever said it would be easy to be a responsible parent.

 

[MissyPrissy]

Oh yea, I would have said, "Yea, I do care, please remove your uncontrollable brat from my table."

And I have an 8 yo who does know better and a 2 yo who sometimes doesn't, but I would never let her do something like that.

YES!!!! So I wasn't alone in my first response...having just been in WDW I was absolutely astonished and frankly disgusted with how OUT OF CONTROL so many children were...let me rephrase that...how LITTLE control so many parents had of their kids. It's NOT cute when children are unruly and intruding upon the enjoyment of others. I certainly do NOT let my step children behave that way. I don't care how dang tired they are. We sit quietly at tables, stay in our seats until you are excused, say please and thank you, use indoor voices and chew with our mouths shut...among other things! As a result we've had people come up and compliment our 7 and 4 year old on their exceptional behavior. It's hard work and it takes consistent enforcing of rules every single day, but hey, parenting is our JOB. We are raising future adults who need to know that the world does NOT revolve around them, no matter how cute or tired or YOUNG they may be!

My new husband and I were attempting to enjoy our meal at Artist Point, when a group of two famlies arrived...the parents promptly tooks seats at one end of the table and the unruly lot they called their children took the other end. They were shouting, SCREECHING, pushing and pulling each other out of the chairs they wanted, knocked a chair over at one point...my husband I were waiting for the reprimand that was sure to be only moments away...nope...the parents were busy talking about how much wine they could afford thanks to the free dining! My husband and I were the third couple that asked to be moved from the area. We couldn't hear each other speak, let alone our enjoy our meal. The waiters were SO embarrassed, as was the manager who came out to apologize.

as for the Mass issue...most Catholic churches have "Crying rooms"...that is where crying and disruptive children belong. It's hard to be "full of the holy spirit" when you are annoyed as all get out b/c little Bobby down the pew is clunking daddy's keys and loudly demanding JUICE...

Sorry, didn't mean to take over the thread...just wanted to commiserate!

 

[Dianewes]

This is just another example of people who are not parenting thier children.... it is the children who suffer without any boundries or rules to live by ... I say good luck when that adorable 2 year old is a rebelious teen

 

[BirdsOfPreyDave]

Having heard what the mother said, I would have turned around immediately and said, "I'm very sorry, but the fact that we've been going all day and want to relax is the thing that's making it so particularly annoying."

 

[Skroops]

Okay, you tried talking to the tot, that didn't work. Why wouldn't you ask for another table? Why didn't you politely ask the parents to take the child back?
Sometimes we are all so wound up too tightly for this family vacation spot. This issue was an easy little fix. Not the big issue that all of the posts are making of it.

 

[K&KsMom]

Ugh! I can't stand it when parents completely ignore bad behavior. I would have been completely mortified if my boys had done that with this said IT WOULD NOT have HAPPENED in our family. My boys 3 and 5 know our family rules for being out at restaurants 1. no loud talking 2. feet are for walking 3.we sit at our seats we do not stand 4.mind our manners.

Sorry you had to deal with that!

 

[brymolmom]

Toddlers are young for just a short time and really if the parents are getting nothing out of the Mass because they are too busy pouring cheerios into a cup, picking up books falling all over the pew, grabbing keys away from toddlers really what is the point of them being there other than distrubing other parishioners from their one hour of peace at Mass. I just think it is totally unfair. My DS' went with us very early. If for one minute they were disruptive we left. We would go to the crying room and then basically with DS#2 I waited until he was really ready to attend Mass when I was not there CATERING TO HIM through the entire Mass. My family as a UNIT has no business at Mass imposing my family as a UNIT's RUDENESS on anyone. It is one hour a week. People want to go to pray and think and ponder about the Mass and the Gospel and the Priest's awe inspiring Homily and not want some loud, screaming, crying child "upstaging" all that the Mass stands for!

For the record: despite the fact my DS' did not attend regular Sunday Mass until they were 4yo did not distrub or disrupt us as a family unit in the least.
DS' went on to Catholic Elementary, Catholic High School and BOTH now attend a Catholic College here in the Northeast. They both remain VERY religious. My DS#2 serves Mass at his College every Sunday night @10PM.

I am sorry if I come off sounding but I am so for Mass but I want PEACE when I go. Not a (loud) family attempting to be a UNIT at MY LOSS of a peaceful time at MASS.

I hope you didn't interpret it that way - but I made no attempt to guess at how religious your kids are...and I don't doubt at all that not bringing them at 2 years old OR bringing them would not necessarily have any affect on that.

I just am surprised that you would want it that quiet and peaceful. Mass is to celebrate life (at least in part to me) - and what kind of life is it without the little ones?

Yes - I do have a very different spiritual experience than before I had my children at Mass, but it is an experience that demonstrates the roll God has made for me - that of Mommy. Teaching and praying with my kids (with the occasional interruptions for Cheerios or to discipline) - is what I have been blessed with - even in Church.

Like I said - for those who prefer it that way - I have no problem with not bringing your kids. I just suggest you sit in the front row so that other families like mine won't disturb you.

Oh and BTW- it is NOT just people with kids who can be disruptive at Mass (or a restaurant). At least most parents are very aware of it and take their kids out quickly when necessary.

 

[Karnak]

I agree with the posters in here too, with one small exception ... I would NOT advise picking the brat up, or even touching him/her. My anger would be directed at the adults who ushered the kid into the eatery in the first place.

If a child is being rude, it is the job of the adult(s) in charge of him/her to correct the situation; but I feel like I would be wrong to touch the child in any way.

Just my opinion tho.