Thinking of leaving one child behind....

[CheapMom]

18 months- I would take him- because he would have a lot of fun and if I left him home every time I saw a little toddler having fun I would feel terrible and think to myself, "Oh he would be LOVING this." You really might be cheating yourself out of watching him enjoy WDW. I have taken my little ones and it is FUN watching them experience Disney)

13 or 14 months old - that would be a toss up. I would bring him but I don't think it would be very hard to leave him either.

 

[CheapMom]

Youngests are notoriously fussy about what they often see as their "second class status". Every single time she opens the photo album, she demands to know why she wasn't taken on our first Disney family vacation. The fact that she wasn't born yet doesn't seem to satisfy her!
As the youngest child- when opening the photo albums - I always wanted to know why there were 20 pictures of my older brother for every one picture they had of me. They would say, sorry by the time you came along our camera didn't work very well- yeah right.

 

[ms.ojo]

And all I can say is, for me, it was still bring the baby! ms ds was turning 4 and dd was almost 1 when we planned our trip to Disney. It was to celebrate his bday and kind of go "whew" as we had been through a very tough 1st yr w/ dd healthwise.

The trip was magical! DD enjoyed all the chars and we quickly learned was better off napping in the stroller than returning to the hotel. DS was able to go go go. It was THE best trip! Will she remember it? Not really, but she LOVES turning through the photo album and seeing pics of herself and ds at the parks. (she is now 26mths) The front of the album has our 1st trip to Disney before she was born, when her db was 2.5yrs. She asks why she's not there...and now says..oh yes, I not born yet.

We're going back in April when she'll be 2.5 and ds 5.5. Each age brings different magic to the equation. New rides enter in, some aren't as appealing anymore. It's all special. As for "all the stuff"...it wasn't so bad. She sat on my lap on the plane and we didn't bring her carseat. We had 2 strollers for each kid that were easily collapsible for the Disney busses. Diapers and stuff once used up were now space to pack our newfound Disney treasures when returning home. Not having to plan and cook meals...priceless!!! The child stations in the park make it so easy w/ a baby too. You can get out of the sun and the noise and really regroup...as a family.

Only you know if you really need a break from 2 kids to 1 and how you'll feel about that dec'n. All I can say is for us.....this trip was all about the older one! And the younger child, had the time of her life!!

 

[Bonnie40]

I'm curious to hear what the OP has decided to do...can't remember when she was planning on going...?

 

[Madi100]

I'm curious to hear what the OP has decided to do...can't remember when she was planning on going...?

I believe she said a while back that she has decided to leave him at home. I also believe she has quit posting and reading this thread.

 

[grlpwrd]

Have a great Trip!! It will not make you a bad parent. I took my than 8yo son to Disneyland, Just him and I for a Solo trip. My daughter was 1. I am planning on taking my daughter on a solo trip to Disney works next December. She will be 7. My son will be 14 than. I will also be leaving him a 2 yo and a 1yo.

Hubby and I decided it will be awhile before are soon to be family of 6 will be able to afford to go together.

I look at is a it will be some special mom and daughter time.

With all due respect your reason to take a trip without the other kids makes sense to me - it's like bonding time.

Yet the way the OP stated her younger child "will slow them down" and will leave him with grandparents just isn't the same sentiment.

 

[Beth76]

With all due respect your reason to take a trip without the other kids makes sense to me - it's like bonding time.

Yet the way the OP stated her younger child "will slow them down" and will leave him with grandparents just isn't the same sentiment.

OK, I'm just going to jump back in here now. Yes, I have been reading this thread, but have not responded as I have said all that need to be said...until now.

grlpwrd, I beg your pardon, but how is my situation any less "acceptable" than LisaNJ25's? I look at this trip as bonding time with my older son as well. I'm not just tossing my younger son aside for the heck of it. He will be with his grandparents. He will have a wonderful time bonding with them. He's always had to share his grandparents with his older brother.

In case you didn't notice, this is not something that I'm taking lightly. I am doing a TON of research trying to figure out what will work best for us on this particular trip. I have not decided what we're doing yet. I am most likely leaving him at home. But, like I said before, I'm not officially making that decision until it comes time to buy airline tickets. I reserve the right to change my mind.

So, grlpwrd, please do not make harsh assumptions about people you don't know. Assumptions sometimes turn out to be incorrect.

 

[sha_lyn]

IMHO....Take both or wait until the younger one is the age you feel is old enough. It isn't like you will be around the coner for an hour or even just over night, you will be hundred's of miles away from home. If you need a break from your youngest and bonding time with your older one, why can't you do it closer to home for a shorter amount of time.

 

[christinadei]

I've also been reading and deciding not to reply, but it's getting ridiculous. I'm sick of everyones "I'm a super mom and I feel the need to push my opinions on you" attitudes. I realize that opinions were asked for, so that's great that you are giving them, but there's no reason to imply that she's a bad mom for leaving her son at home. Just becuase some of you can't use the bathroom without your kids, doesn't mean that that's best for everyone. I personally think that kids need to be away from their parents at times. It's not healthy to have your child with you every second of everyday. They need to have some independence and by keepign them with you every breathing moment, you are taking that away from them and creating insecurities. How can they feel secure in themselves if they've never been anywhere or done anythign without mom? I'm sorry but I love my son as much or more as any person could ever love someone, but I don't feel liek I'm a bad mom for taking time to myself or for my husband. He is an adaptable human being. He has a strong sense of self. He knows mommy loves him, but he isn't afraid to do anything without me. Anyway, I realize that there are two sides to this, but I just dont' think it's fair that so many people are attacking the OP. It will be great bonding time and special time for the older child, and contrary to popular belief, will not damage or harm the younger child in any way. I'm sorry, but the baby won't be scared from being left at home on a trip that he couldn't remember anyway. If, down the road, they are looking at photo albums, the older child won't feel like they are better loved and the younger won't feel less loved. That's just insane. The older child will appreciate the special time and the younger will get to go later when he can enjoy it and everyone can still live happily ever after.

 

[devotedchristian]

IMHO....Take both or wait until the younger one is the age you feel is old enough. It isn't like you will be around the coner for an hour or even just over night, you will be hundred's of miles away from home. If you need a break from your youngest and bonding time with your older one, why can't you do it closer to home for a shorter amount of time.

That's a good idea.

 

[Madi100]

I've also been reading and deciding not to reply, but it's getting ridiculous. I'm sick of everyones "I'm a super mom and I feel the need to push my opinions on you" attitudes. I realize that opinions were asked for, so that's great that you are giving them, but there's no reason to imply that she's a bad mom for leaving her son at home. Just becuase some of you can't use the bathroom without your kids, doesn't mean that that's best for everyone. I personally think that kids need to be away from their parents at times. It's not healthy to have your child with you every second of everyday. They need to have some independence and by keepign them with you every breathing moment, you are taking that away from them and creating insecurities. How can they feel secure in themselves if they've never been anywhere or done anythign without mom? I'm sorry but I love my son as much or more as any person could ever love someone, but I don't feel liek I'm a bad mom for taking time to myself or for my husband. He is an adaptable human being. He has a strong sense of self. He knows mommy loves him, but he isn't afraid to do anything without me. Anyway, I realize that there are two sides to this, but I just dont' think it's fair that so many people are attacking the OP. It will be great bonding time and special time for the older child, and contrary to popular belief, will not damage or harm the younger child in any way. I'm sorry, but the baby won't be scared from being left at home on a trip that he couldn't remember anyway. If, down the road, they are looking at photo albums, the older child won't feel like they are better loved and the younger won't feel less loved. That's just insane. The older child will appreciate the special time and the younger will get to go later when he can enjoy it and everyone can still live happily ever after.

VERY WELL SAID!!!! I may have to bronze that and hang it above my computer. It's great to say I feel this way and state why you feel that way. But, it's not right for a person to make you feel like a bad parent because you make different choices than someone else.

 

[Madi100]

OK, I'm just going to jump back in here now. Yes, I have been reading this thread, but have not responded as I have said all that need to be said...until now.

grlpwrd, I beg your pardon, but how is my situation any less "acceptable" than LisaNJ25's? I look at this trip as bonding time with my older son as well. I'm not just tossing my younger son aside for the heck of it. He will be with his grandparents. He will have a wonderful time bonding with them. He's always had to share his grandparents with his older brother.

In case you didn't notice, this is not something that I'm taking lightly. I am doing a TON of research trying to figure out what will work best for us on this particular trip. I have not decided what we're doing yet. I am most likely leaving him at home. But, like I said before, I'm not officially making that decision until it comes time to buy airline tickets. I reserve the right to change my mind.

So, grlpwrd, please do not make harsh assumptions about people you don't know. Assumptions sometimes turn out to be incorrect.

Sorry. I hadn't seen you post on this thread in a LONG time, so I assumed you got tired of the judging. Just kknow that for everyone who thinks what you are doing is wrong, there are more of us that can support you.

 

[lclark0621]

I've also been reading and deciding not to reply, but it's getting ridiculous. I'm sick of everyones "I'm a super mom and I feel the need to push my opinions on you" attitudes. I realize that opinions were asked for, so that's great that you are giving them, but there's no reason to imply that she's a bad mom for leaving her son at home. Just becuase some of you can't use the bathroom without your kids, doesn't mean that that's best for everyone. I personally think that kids need to be away from their parents at times. It's not healthy to have your child with you every second of everyday. They need to have some independence and by keepign them with you every breathing moment, you are taking that away from them and creating insecurities. How can they feel secure in themselves if they've never been anywhere or done anythign without mom? I'm sorry but I love my son as much or more as any person could ever love someone, but I don't feel liek I'm a bad mom for taking time to myself or for my husband. He is an adaptable human being. He has a strong sense of self. He knows mommy loves him, but he isn't afraid to do anything without me. Anyway, I realize that there are two sides to this, but I just dont' think it's fair that so many people are attacking the OP. It will be great bonding time and special time for the older child, and contrary to popular belief, will not damage or harm the younger child in any way. I'm sorry, but the baby won't be scared from being left at home on a trip that he couldn't remember anyway. If, down the road, they are looking at photo albums, the older child won't feel like they are better loved and the younger won't feel less loved. That's just insane. The older child will appreciate the special time and the younger will get to go later when he can enjoy it and everyone can still live happily ever after.

First I NEVER implied she was a bad Mom. And I don't think anyone on this thread did either. It just just a lot of us disagree with leaving a child behind when going to Disney World.

Second, you have a lot of nerve. Your "Just becuase some of you can't use the bathroom without your kids, doesn't mean that that's best for everyone." is just dripping with disdain. Where did anyone say they could not leave their child to go to the bathroom?

Just because I am a SAHM, and my DS is with me all day, does not mean he is insecure in ANYWAY. My 18 month old DS, is very secure. He came entertian himself for long periods of time during the day & is a very confident little boy.

I take time for myself & my husband as well. But that does not mean I will dump my kid on someone else so that I can run around on a vacation in Disney World.

Would you take the younger kid away with out the older? What about when the younger is 5 & the older is 10. Will you tell the 10 year old to stay with Grandma & Grandpa so you can have some "bonding time" with the 5 year old in Disney World?

I would never see my DS as "slowing me down". We do things at his pace when he is with us.

And YOU think it will not hurt the child to find out later his family did not want to take him. I personally think a child WOULD be hurt by that.

Now I know I am going to be flamed because it looks like I am attacking the OP or anyone who goes away without the kids. I am NOT. I am just incredibly annoyed & offended by christinadei's post.

And I still would never leave my kids at home while I went to Disney World.

 

[Madi100]

Would you take the younger kid away with out the older? What about when the younger is 5 & the older is 10. Will you tell the 10 year old to stay with Grandma & Grandpa so you can have some "bonding time" with the 5 year old in Disney World?

I would never see my DS as "slowing me down". We do things at his pace when he is with us.

And YOU think it will not hurt the child to find out later his family did not want to take him. I personally think a child WOULD be hurt by that.

I don't know you, so I can't comment on how you raise your children. I would consider taking my younger daughter and not my older daughter. A few years down the road when my older DD can't miss school as much, while the younger one can, I would definitely consider doing a mom and daughter trip. Of course, I'd have to see how the older one reacted to that.

I KNOW that my daughter does not feel like she was left behind, because we talk about it. She will get out the photo album that she's not in, and she still has fun looking at those pictures. We love her enough and give her enough attention that she doesn't feel like we did it because we don't like her. She's four years old and understands just fine that she didn't get to go on one of the trips. I also know that on New Year's Eve when we stayed in a hotel with friends, and we had her go and stay with my dad that her feelings were hurt. I made a mistake on that one. It was for one night. But, she was hurt, I could tell.

And, if DH and I were to take a adults only trip tomorrow, I would not think twice about him and I going to Disney World by ourselves without our children. There is so much for adults to do there. And, if my children ever want to comment on the fact that they didn't get to go, I would very quickly point out that they have been more times to Disney World than a lot of people go in their whole lives.

 

[christinadei]

First I NEVER implied she was a bad Mom. And I don't think anyone on this thread did either. It just just a lot of us disagree with leaving a child behind when going to Disney World.

Second, you have a lot of nerve. Your "Just becuase some of you can't use the bathroom without your kids, doesn't mean that that's best for everyone." is just dripping with disdain. Where did anyone say they could not leave their child to go to the bathroom?

Just because I am a SAHM, and my DS is with me all day, does not mean he is insecure in ANYWAY. My 18 month old DS, is very secure. He came entertian himself for long periods of time during the day & is a very confident little boy.

I take time for myself & my husband as well. But that does not mean I will dump my kid on someone else so that I can run around on a vacation in Disney World.

Would you take the younger kid away with out the older? What about when the younger is 5 & the older is 10. Will you tell the 10 year old to stay with Grandma & Grandpa so you can have some "bonding time" with the 5 year old in Disney World?

I would never see my DS as "slowing me down". We do things at his pace when he is with us.

And YOU think it will not hurt the child to find out later his family did not want to take him. I personally think a child WOULD be hurt by that.

Now I know I am going to be flamed because it looks like I am attacking the OP or anyone who goes away without the kids. I am NOT. I am just incredibly annoyed & offended by christinadei's post.

And I still would never leave my kids at home while I went to Disney World.

You say that you never implied that she was a bad mom, then you turnaround and say she's "dumping her kid on someone else" that implies that she's a bad mom. She's not dumping him on anyone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her son's grandparents keeping him.

I think it's very different to leave a baby at home than taking a 10 year old and leaving the 5yo at home. The OP would never do that. She obviously cares about her children. A baby will slow you down, that's not sayign she doesn't love her son, but it's a fact that there is a lot more to have to deal with with a baby in tow.

I don't see a child being offended about a trip he didn't go on when he was a baby. If we were talking a 10 and 5 yo then yes, but not a baby.

I'm sorry if I was harsh. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I feel like several people are being really harsh with the OP, who obviously loves her child and her famiily and jsut wants to do whats best for everyoen. I dont feel it's fair that peopel are making her feel like a bad parent.

 

[Beth76]

OP here back with an update. We've discussed it and decided not to take the baby. He really just isn't very cute and we're afraid that he might ruin our pictures of Disney. Perhaps when he's a little older he might get cuter. Then we'll take him. But really he would just be tagging along on his older brother's special trip. He's my first born after all and the most glorious child in the world. No one--even my younger son--can compare to the love and awe I feel for my most cherished first born son.

 

[christinadei]

OP here back with an update. We've discussed it and decided not to take the baby. He really just isn't very cute and we're afraid that he might ruin our pictures of Disney. Perhaps when he's a little older he might get cuter. Then we'll take him. But really he would just be tagging along on his older brother's special trip. He's my first born after all and the most glorious child in the world. No one--even my younger son--can compare to the love and awe I feel for my most cherished first born son.

So funny. You have a great attitude!

 

[Madi100]

OP here back with an update. We've discussed it and decided not to take the baby. He really just isn't very cute and we're afraid that he might ruin our pictures of Disney. Perhaps when he's a little older he might get cuter. Then we'll take him. But really he would just be tagging along on his older brother's special trip. He's my first born after all and the most glorious child in the world. No one--even my younger son--can compare to the love and awe I feel for my most cherished first born son.

Well, although that is a great reason not to take your child, I hope you will reconsider. Even if your younger son isn't as cute you can always crop his face out and put one in of a cuter child. Maybe you could find a picture of your older DS when he was that age and put his face in there.



And, just in case you missed that tongue in cheek there, I think your little guy is adorable!!!

 

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

I'm sick of everyones "I'm a super mom and I feel the need to push my opinions on you" attitudes. Just becuase some of you can't use the bathroom without your kids, doesn't mean that that's best for everyone. I personally think that kids need to be away from their parents at times. It's not healthy to have your child with you every second of everyday. They need to have some independence and by keepign them with you every breathing moment, you are taking that away from them and creating insecurities. .

I wasn't going to post on this thread anymore, but I just can't help but to respond to this. Personally, I think most people are just saying "you asked so this is what works for me, you do what you feel works for you"

And as far as this independence thing goes, WOW, you so need to meet my DD5. She is as independant as they come, to the point of being almost funny. She has absolutley no worries about preschool, she looks forward to it and loves it. She is a very well rounded child, but I would never dream of leaving her and going on a trip. I hardly leave her at all. That's just what works for us. Do what works for you, but in your own words, don't push your opinions on me.

 

[devotedchristian]

Those of us who have voted that the OP take BOTH kids have been accused of being "harsh" simply because we disagree that she shouldn't.

We certainly have not "implied" that she would be a bad parent.

The fact that she started this thread says to me *she* was already feeling guilty, needed and was hoping for complete*reassurance* from the moms on this board.

Beth76, I am sorry you did not get ALL the responses you were hoping for. If you are self doubting NOW, I don't believe for one minute you would enjoy yourself withOUT your little one in Disney World.

I know that this was a tough decision for you to make, but I'd like to reiterate again that you are NOT a bad parent.