Thinking of leaving one child behind....

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

There's no way I would even consider leaving one child at home. Our youngest is 22 months. He has already been to DW 3 times- 8 mon, 13 mon, and 18 mon. We also have a 5 yr old daughter. We did not feel that he slowed us down, instead we feel so lucky to be able to have two healthy children and to be able to spend some great quality time with them at the most magical place on earth. Just to see those little faces light up..........
No, I wouldn't even consider it. They're only little once.

 

[lovesdumbo]

I really can see both sides of this. When I was 6 months pregnant with baby #3 I took my DD then 3 1/2 on her first trip to Disney. I was so sure it would be years before we'd go with all 3 kids (We've been twice already and planning a 3rd trip in Oct). I was sure we wouldn't go til baby was at least 3 and then DD would be close to 10. I wanted her to experience Disney while she still believed in all the magic. SO...I took her and left DH at home with DS who was 22 months. I just wasn't up for chasing him around while 6 months pregnant and DH isn't (wasn't) a Disney fan. We had a great time and it was a very special trip.

After hanging around the DIS too much I somehow talked my DH into taking a trip for my DS's 3rd birthday. The baby was then 11 months. We also brought along a friend. The baby was probably the easiest one on the trip. I did mail a package to the hotel with diapers and such to lessen the load of the luggage. We all had a very magical trip. She slept just fine in her stroller (not big on that at home) but we did usually take mid day breaks for the other 2 and for the crawling baby to get some "floor time".

Then more hanging around DIS and I somehow convinced DH that purchasing an AP would make sense so we could go in Oct 2004 and already planned Oct 2005 before the baby turned 3. The baby was 22 months on that trip. Another very magical trip. She was a bit more of a challange-wanted to walk everywhere-but she also had more fun then she did at 11 months.

So now I've got these AP's and was thinking of taking a trip with just DD in May for her or my birthday but I just don't know how I'd explain that to my now 4 year old DS. My DD & I had a great afternoon together at Epcot while DH & friend brought the other two back to the resort. I really wanted some special time with DD. She seems to get a bit of the shaft-I expect more out of her and being the youngest of 6 myself I tend to sympathise the younger ones. SO...now I'm thinking of taking DD 2 days ahead of DH, friend and younger 2. That will give the 2 of us some special bonding time and yet we'll still have a magical family vacation too.

If you decide to bring the baby you'll get some great advice here. There are some great products available that make it easy. It really isn't all that bad.

 

[Beth76]

I did mail a package to the hotel with diapers and such to lessen the load of the luggage.

That's a great idea! If we do take the munchkin I will have to do that. I have a feeling I'm going to "whimp out" and leave him with my parents. I know DH will push for that.

 

[i12go2wdw]

I am in the same boat, but have decided to leave 2yo dd at home with dad, ds 12 and my mother while I take dd9 and ds7. The thought of chasing the 2yo who will not sit in a stroller or hold hands is just a nightmare for me. I have a hard time taking her to the mall and getting anything done. I love her to death and enjoy every waking moment as I do stay at hom full time running a daycare. Like another poster said, when you spend that much time with them I think it is good to have a break, for both of us.
One other thing to think of is that 12 years down the road you may have a trip just you and the now 22mo. when the 5yo is too old, working or just not interested in DW any more. The only one who can make you feel guilty is you and you are not doing anything to hurt anyone so please do not feel guilty. Babies that age do better in an environment they know anyway. Just tell Grandma to really spoil him!! And leave lots of icecream in the freezer

Christine

 

[Beth76]

Christine, Thanks. You know, if we were going now I'm sure I'd take him Right now he's an absolute joy because he's not mobile yet. But, I know once he starts running around all hell's going to break loose. I have considered taking him alone before he starts school. Especially because he has a "borderline" birthday and will probably start Kindergarten a year late. Of course, then I would probably feel even more guilt leaving the older one behind. LOL!! Why are you not taking your older son? Just curious.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

First I am so please how kind this thread has stayed. Even though some people's ideas were quite different from Beths she has been resectful of all. Thumbs up to you.
Everyone has a right to their own ideas.
Mine is that there is no way i would go without him. 8 months old for one thing is an age of extremly strong atachment to the primary caregiver, ie mom. I think it would be hard on him even with his loving grandparents. We chose not to leave DS over night till he was 3 and could understand that we would be back in two nights. Just my ideas. I too think it sends the wrong idea to your 5 year old. Familes adjust to meet the needs of everyone is important lesson for kids to learn. I also can see about 5 year down the road when DS1 is mad at DS2 and he points out to him the pictures of the trip you all took to WDW without him. OUCH. I too was a stay at home mom so I know it's nice to get a break but I don't think this is it. Our first adult only trip DS was three and we went just a week-end to an adult destination yet everywhere I went I saw things that DS would have loved. I think seeing all the happy babies at WDW with their families would be a killer for me.
Good luck deciding and thinks for being open to eveyones ideas.


Jordans' mom

 

[J/T Gramdma]

It is a hard decision to make. Definitely you will have pictures of your time at Disney with your older son but also maybe Grandma could take lots of pictures of what she does with your younger son and then you would have pictures of both "vacations" for the photo albums and your children to see at later times . The best part of taking young children to Disney is you seeing them experience Disney . If you think you and the baby will enjoy it more at an older age than enjoy it with the older one this time and look forward to doing the same with your baby at a later date.

 

[seashoreCM]

All the reasons for and against stated above (I won't repeat them) make sense except one.

For taking the baby: "So he will get to experience Walt Disney World"

That is an invalid reason. A child that age (18 mo.) is too young to appreciate the Disney experience. He will simply respond favorably to any love and affection and doting.

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[Divamomto3]

I would have to say after reading all of the replies that maybe you don't need to go to Disney until all the children are at ages where such a big trip would be enjoyable to everyone. My sons are 12, 9, and 4. Certainly WDW would have been a lot "easier" if I left my youngest home when he was 2...heck even now. But I couldn't imagine it. I agree with you...diapers, naps, and feeding baby food at Disney World doesn't sound like much fun to me either.

 

[christinadei]

I too agree that 18 mos is to young to really experience Disney. I think he would have fun, but he could have just as much, and probably more at home with his grandparents.

Also, saying that the 5 yo would get the wrong idea is ridiculous. He would feel extra special and get extra attention, that I'm sure he needs since it is inevitable to feel a little left out with a baby around.

There is no reason to feel guilty for leaving him at your parents. After all he will be getting spoiled rotten! Just because some people won't let their children spend a night away from home until they are 3, doesn't mean that you are a bad parent for letting your child stay with your parents. Come on. My son stayed with my parents and in-laws often and loved it and still does. Not all the time, but here and there and the grandparents as well as the children enjoy this.

Others go to Disney several times a year, so bringing baby makes sense. But when this is your son's first trip, I think it would be great to make it about him. He can do what he wants and ride what he wants and it will be all about him, not the baby for a change.

 

[minmate]

We did a similar thing... taking our 4 and 5 yo's but leaving our 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 yo's home... we had a great time with the two older kids. They bonded with each other and the younger ones had never been to WDW so didn't know what they were missing anyway. However, we later took everyone and I doubt we could get away with leaving anyone behind now, as they all had such a great time!

Yes, your younger one will require you to make different adjustments (i.e., probably slowing you down) -- but if you plan to go to WDW again some day when your younger one is older and he'll get to come along then -- well, then I wouldn't feel any guilt at all! Let your 5 yo "rule the roost" on vacation! I bet that will be a wonderful memory for him to have you two all to himself!

 

[Madi100]

We took a trip without our daughter when she was about the same age as yours. We took our older daughter who was 4 at the time. I don't regret it in the least bit. Our older daughter got our attention to herself, something she hadn't had in a long time. And, our younger daughter wasn't old enough to realize she was not going with us. We did take afternoon breaks, but our four year old didn't slow us down. If yesterday was today, I'd do the same thing again.

 

[Madi100]

And as far as "family vacations" go. I'm not to up on them. I'm a SAHM, so I'm with my kids all the time. I enjoy getting my time away from them. So, I know many people enjoy travelling with their children and babies. But, to me that would be doing my same exact job while I'm on vacation. OK, well minus the laundry and cooking. But, on vacation things like diaper changes, feeding, sleeping are much more difficult than at home. I don't even want to think about all the stuff we would have to bring for the baby.

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who wants to leave the baby at home.

I'm glad you said that. I completely agree with you. I love my children with all of my heart. That is why I stay home with them (not saying people who work don't). But, I never get a day off. I never get a break. My break is working out or something minor like that. So, it's not hard for me to leave my kids behind, either. They are my life, but because they are always in my life, I enjoy the breaks that I get from them.

 

[Kelly5538]

I'm taking dd5 in March and leaving my dd (4 mos) at home with Nana. I've explained it to my older daughter as this is "our special time" because she's been so good at not getting jealous of the new baby. Besides, bad as I may sound as a mother, I need the break too!!! ha ha..... It will be nice to sleep all night long for a week!

 

[beattyfamily]

I'm a SAHM too and I wouldn't dream of leaving any of my children behind for a trip to WDW. It wouldn't feel right and it just wouldn't happen. Our younger DD started her Disney trips at age 1 and my older DD started hers at age 2. They were magical trips.

I could possibly be convinced to leave my children (both of them) behind when they get a bit older to go to a non-family type place but not Disney.

I also could never leave one child behind on a family vacation and bring another. Just couldn't do it.

To each their own.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I'm a SAHM too. I say leave him with his grandparents.

When my youngest was 18 months we left him when we took our 7 and 9 year olds to Disney. We had a great time. This year we took the youngest when he was 2 1/2. We really had to slow things down. We had a great time with all 3 of our children but it was a different vacation.

You deserve a break and he will be in good hands. I came home refreshed and renewed. I didn't realize how much I needed that vacation.

Good luck with your decision,

Lori

 

[Tinkim]

I don't think you are a bad parent whatever you decide. Only you know what is best for your baby/family. I did take my DD when she was 16 months and my sons were 5 and 4. My DH was worried about taking her but really it couldn't have been easier. She was great on the plane, great in the stroller, great at restaurants, and slept in the stroller when she got worn out. She was a very easygoing baby though. DH took the boys on some rides while I waited with DD or we did something else. I don't think I could leave one of them behind but under the right circumstances who knows? You are obviously a good mom because you are giving this a lot of thought in trying to make the right decision. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Just do what is right for your family.

 

[Beth76]

I would have to say after reading all of the replies that maybe you don't need to go to Disney until all the children are at ages where such a big trip would be enjoyable to everyone.

LOL!! Well, our other option then would be to leave BOTH kids with my parents and take off on our own somewhere.

My parents live a mile away so my kids are used to seeing them. They spend the night at their house a lot, so we can go out. This is not about leaving my child with someone else and going away. I have no problem with that. I know some people can't leave their kids, but I can---and enjoy every minute of it. I'm not a worryer. I just want to know that I wouldn't be the only one leaving one child and taking the older one.

I think this could be a positive thing for my older son. He's a great big brother. He's never had any jealousy issues. And I don't think he's ever felt pushed aside for the baby. But, we have had to slow our life down a little for the baby. And he adapts so well. He absolutely loves his little brother. I just think it would be so special for him to have his time away with us. Especially before he starts kindergarten.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Beth, your son will love having his time. I've taken my oldest to Disneyland by himself. This past May, my mother and I, took my daughter to Disney World by herself. When the 3rd gets older, it will be his turn to go on a special trip with Mom. My children don't feel left behind or left out. They don't whine or complain either. They give me a list of souveniers to buy them and look forward to us returning.

My children also spend a lot of time with their grandparents. I don't think the 18 month old paid much attention to us being gone. The grandparents said he had a great time.

Lori

 

[minkydog]

Does this make us bad parents? We are planning on going to disney for the first time next January. My older son would be close to 5, but my younger son would be about 18 months. We're thinking of leaving him with my parents and just taking the older one. Our thinking is he would really slow us down. We'd have to go back to the resort for him to nap and really work around his schedule. Also he wouldn't be able to do as much as the older one anyway.

Of course, after reading a little of this board we may reconsider and go in Sept or Oct of this year. The younger one would only be about 14-15 months and I think I would feel even less guilty to leave him at that age.

BTW the guilt comes from taking one son to Disney and not the other. I don't have any problems with leaving my children with my parents for vacations.

Do we have valid concerns for not wanting to take the younger one? He's not going to be scarred for life because he missed out on Disney when he wouldn't even remember it, right?

I think you are feeling false guilt. There is nothing wrong with leaving your yonger child at home for this trip. You are right, you know--he will slow you down. That's the nature of 1 year olds. Your 5yo will be much more portable and more able to endure the rigors of the parks. We have left my youngest at home with Granny(he is mentally challenged, about on a 1-2yo level) and believe me, it was easier. And he had a great time being the center of attention and doing stuff that was familiar to him.

There will be other years for taking the baby. Why not do something really nice with the 5yo and let the baby have a grand week with the Grandparents?