Things that make you go hmmmmm

[dicar123]

Not to hijack this thread, but I have a similar issue.

My brother's girlfriend and a cousin of ours have been facebook friends for awhile. When she and my brother got engaged, she announced it on FB and spent several months chit-chatting with her friends and this cousin about this wedding detail and that.

The cousin is not invited to the wedding! How rude is that??!! Other cousins are invited. The venue they chose is limited, so their guest list is also limited.

It's their wedding and they can do what they want, but if I had pulled such a stunt my mother would have KILLED me. No comment on her precious boy though...

 

[gracie1]

See, I am evil.

I would go and my sister would be my +1 just to piss them off.

My gift would be something obscure and useless, although not cheap.

I attended the wedding like a good cousin and I even gave a gift. What more could the relatives want?

I was thinking the same thing as I was reading this post! Except I wouldn't even take a gift. I would take my sister with me!

 

[dakcp2001]

My dad knows, and I know, we are afraid to mention it to my mom. SHe is one of those "no filter" people and well, I am not sure we should clue her in. She will def cause a big family drama over this. I'd rather just not go. I should bring her as my plus one. lol. Heheheheheheheh But well, I am certain once my sister finds out she is going to be really hurt, and not want to go.

Maybe I should just go, get drunk, and barf on the cake table.

 

[Stacerita]

Decline. They don't sound worth my time in going.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

This reminds me of the Friends episode were Monica didn't get invited to a family wedding with the rest of her family. Ross took her as his +1 and it turns out she dated the groom

Maybe your sister use to date the groom

 

[dakcp2001]

This reminds me of the Friends episode were Monica didn't get invited to a family wedding with the rest of her family. Ross took her as his +1 and it turns out she dated the groom

Maybe your sister use to date the groom

I hope not! lol he is our cousin!

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Well then. maybe she dated the bride

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

My dad knows, and I know, we are afraid to mention it to my mom. SHe is one of those "no filter" people and well, I am not sure we should clue her in. She will def cause a big family drama over this. I'd rather just not go. I should bring her as my plus one. lol. Heheheheheheheh But well, I am certain once my sister finds out she is going to be really hurt, and not want to go.

Maybe I should just go, get drunk, and barf on the cake table.

Or on her dress

 

[rie'smom]

This

Well you know what i would do?? I would avoid the wedding, shower etc. and take the money you wouldve spent on clothes/gifts/transport/whatever and treat your sis to a day out. Maybe go see a show or something.

IMHO it would be money better spent on relatives who actually care about YOU and not your MONEY!!!

or this

See, I am evil.

I would go and my sister would be my +1 just to piss them off.

My gift would be something obscure and useless, although not cheap.

I attended the wedding like a good cousin and I even gave a gift. What more could the relatives want?

My preference would be #1 because I wouldn't want to waste the $$$ on the couple. Or you could do 2 and give them a crappy gift.
I'm, speaking from experience. My husband's cousin's daughter was married. There were over 1000 guests invited. In DH's family, only his brother who is a doctor and his brother who is a lawyer were invited. The Aunt was appalled that the rest of the family weren't invited. Oh and the cousin is a sugar cane farmer as is my husband.

 

[sunnyday123]

See, I am evil.

I would go and my sister would be my +1 just to piss them off.

My gift would be something obscure and useless, although not cheap.

I attended the wedding like a good cousin and I even gave a gift. What more could the relatives want?

Me too.

 

[pianogirl73]

See, I am evil.

I would go and my sister would be my +1 just to piss them off.

My gift would be something obscure and useless, although not cheap.

I attended the wedding like a good cousin and I even gave a gift. What more could the relatives want?

I was going to post this exact thing. Looks like you have an evil twin!!

 

[krcit]

I would first find out if it was an oversight before it becomes a big drama. I have a couple of examples. When I was getting married, I forgot to send one of my cousins an invite. I have a huge family as does my hubby and it was just an accident. Luckily noone jumped to any conclusions and his sister politely asked my mom if there was an oversight. Mom told them that I had sent it to a previous address and she was so sorry. Little white lie to protect the feelings of my cousin. No harm done. A few years later, my brother was getting married and a few days before the wedding my momasked my aunt if my cousin was coming b/c we never got the RSVP. Aunt says "Oh, Mary was upset that she never got an invitation. She was really hurt." My mother said to my aunt that she should have said something b/c of course mary was invited, my brother and her were close friends and the invite was obviously just lost in the mail. A bunch of hurt feelings on both sides that could have been avoided by one phone call like my cousin made for my wedding.

 

[rumrunnergirl]

It's an invitation, not a summons. If you don't want to go, don't go. Just RSVP a no.

If you don't go, you aren't required to send a gift either. I have never understood people that think they have to send a gift in response to every invitation they get.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This happened to me too with my cousin.
I was not invited to her bridal shower or her wedding, by my sis was (she was 14, I was 21).
The reason I was not invited was b/c my aunt (cousin's mom) said I could not afford to buy an outfit and gifts as I was a young mother.
My dad was really upset when he heard this, he said REALLY? Everyone knew that money was tight for me and fiance, but my dad said he would have put some money in an envelope from me. And he just couldn't believe they were THAT money hungry! Actually when my mom and sis got the invite for their bridal shower enclosed was a poem stating they had their house and appliances, what they really needed was money for paint and stuff.
Some people are so rude and disgusting, if my sis wasn't invited to something family related and i was, I wouldn't go.

That's just plain rude!!!

I don't care who you are--but making "my" decision for me b/c you think I'm "broke" by not inviting me is just rude. I had that happen a few times in college--not to weddings but ohter things. And then my friends couldn't figure out why I took it personally.

Uhhh--first off, you assumed something about my situation and then RSVP'd on my behalf without ever telling me about it. Then you bragged and bragged about your wonderful ________ and how much fun it was.

In any case--inviting essentially the whoel family and leaving out a family member to a wedding is pretty darn rude.

At this point--they can't really "make it up". The slight already occurred many times over. I'd be inclined to send my regrets that I would not be attending and leaving it at that. Sometimes--it's all about the priniciple.

 

[Pigeon]

I've been in this situation as the univited sister. I have a huge family, and I was toward the end of the brood. I have sisters (and brothers) who are considerably older than I am.

Two of my sisters and one brother were invited when a cousin's daughter got married. At first I was a little taken aback, to be honest. But my sibs and this cousin spent a great deal of time together as kids. I'm almost like a different generation and we aren't close.

Going to weddings of people I don't know well doesn't rank high on my list of fun things to do. I also understand that you need to draw the line somewhere. So, I was good with it. My younger sister was much more annoyed.

Go if you want to or stay away if you want to. It's entirely up to you. I don't view invitations as a command performance, and simply declining is enough--don't give them a reason.

 

[Bluestars]

Before I declined the invitation and didn't send a gift, I would try to find out if this was intentional or not. It's possible that they had number reversed on the address list or something. Is there some way to tactfully ask someone?

 

[mickeylove2]

My sister got married recently and I was invited to the wedding, but not the shower. It was mentioned to me by other people beforehand, like oh what did you get for X for the shower, I said nothing, I wasn't invited. After the shower, my other sis asked where I had been, and I told her, I wasn't invited, why would I go. Supposedly, there was a mix up and a friend of hers did the invites and accidently left me off the list. Whatever! Her sister, really????? I don't buy it. All of her friends know me, don't you think they would have realized it? Sucks to be her anyway, cuz I am known to go all out for showers and such, I always give the best gifts!!! Lol Anyway, I almost didn't even go to the wedding but my mom made me. My sis had told my girls that they would be in the wedding, then when the time came, I heard nothing about it. At the wedding, my girls were not involved, but ALL of my nephews were involved and even my sisters mom's boyfriends granddaughter was involved. They have only been together 2 years and the granddaughter isn't around much, she's only 5 or 6, but my sis has been in my girls' lives forever. Needless to say, my girls' feelings were hurt and I was miffed.

 

[rie'smom]

My sister got married recently and I was invited to the wedding, but not the shower. It was mentioned to me by other people beforehand, like oh what did you get for X for the shower, I said nothing, I wasn't invited. After the shower, my other sis asked where I had been, and I told her, I wasn't invited, why would I go. Supposedly, there was a mix up and a friend of hers did the invites and accidently left me off the list. Whatever! Her sister, really????? I don't buy it. All of her friends know me, don't you think they would have realized it? Sucks to be her anyway, cuz I am known to go all out for showers and such, I always give the best gifts!!! Lol Anyway, I almost didn't even go to the wedding but my mom made me. My sis had told my girls that they would be in the wedding, then when the time came, I heard nothing about it. At the wedding, my girls were not involved, but ALL of my nephews were involved and even my sisters mom's boyfriends granddaughter was involved. They have only been together 2 years and the granddaughter isn't around much, she's only 5 or 6, but my sis has been in my girls' lives forever. Needless to say, my girls' feelings were hurt and I was miffed.

I'm sorry that your sister treated you and your girls in such an ugly manner.

 

[FireDancer]

Before I declined the invitation and didn't send a gift, I would try to find out if this was intentional or not. It's possible that they had number reversed on the address list or something. Is there some way to tactfully ask someone?

I would go with this. It is likely that whomever is sending out the invitations is using the same list for all of them. If that is the case it is understandable that all the invitations would be mailed incorrectly. If the person receiving them isn't returning them the sender may not know. I had an aunt that was sending my Christmas cards to my FL address for the last 5 years before we figured it out.

If they want you there and not your sister for what ever reason that is their right, but it is also yours to decline because of it.

 

[wvjules]

Does your sister know she wasn't invited to the other events?

How do you know that she doens't know that she is not invited? Maybe her and the cousin have already discussed this and there is a reason for the non-invite. For that matter, how do you know she is not invited?