Things that make you go hmmmmm

[dakcp2001]

Am I overreacting? I got invited to my cousins wedding, with a +1, and my parents were invited, but my sister was NOT. She didnt get a save the date, or a shower invite, or a wedding invite. No one has asked me to clarify an address or anything? No way all three things could have been lost in the mail.

Not only do I not want to go, I do not want to send a gift. I think it is so rude to invite one sibling and not the other! (we are both in our 30's)

What do you make of this? Do I say something? It seems obvious that it was intentional.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

This happened to me too with my cousin.
I was not invited to her bridal shower or her wedding, by my sis was (she was 14, I was 21).
The reason I was not invited was b/c my aunt (cousin's mom) said I could not afford to buy an outfit and gifts as I was a young mother.
My dad was really upset when he heard this, he said REALLY? Everyone knew that money was tight for me and fiance, but my dad said he would have put some money in an envelope from me. And he just couldn't believe they were THAT money hungry! Actually when my mom and sis got the invite for their bridal shower enclosed was a poem stating they had their house and appliances, what they really needed was money for paint and stuff.
Some people are so rude and disgusting, if my sis wasn't invited to something family related and i was, I wouldn't go.

 

[kwelch10377]

what does your sister have to say about this? Maybe there was a falling out between your cousin and sister that you don't now about? Maybe you can talk to your aunt and see what the scoop is? (I would most likely do this, but I am nosey and love to see if there is some drama)

Does your sister live out of state and your cousin already knew she wouldn't be able to make it and decided not to send and invite bc of that?

 

[dakcp2001]

what does your sister have to say about this? Maybe there was a falling out between your cousin and sister that you don't now about? Maybe you can talk to your aunt and see what the scoop is? (I would most likely do this, but I am nosey and love to see if there is some drama)

Does your sister live out of state and your cousin already knew she wouldn't be able to make it and decided not to send and invite bc of that?

Neither me nor my sister really see these cousins at all, and my sister does not KNOW YET! I am going to have to tell her. My Aunt did tell another cousin that "some" people were excluded because she was afraid they may drink too much or misbehave. My sister used to be kind of bad in high school (got in trouble at school) but that was a long time ago. She has been a respectful adult for a few decades since then, and she actually doesn't even drink. Another cousin that has been arrested etc was also not invited, and her two sisters were as well. I think it was selective invites.

 

[coffeeandfags]

Well you know what i would do?? I would avoid the wedding, shower etc. and take the money you wouldve spent on clothes/gifts/transport/whatever and treat your sis to a day out. Maybe go see a show or something.

IMHO it would be money better spent on relatives who actually care about YOU and not your MONEY!!!

 

[nmmom95]

Well you know what i would do?? I would avoid the wedding, shower etc. and take the money you wouldve spent on clothes/gifts/transport/whatever and treat your sis to a day out. Maybe go see a show or something.

IMHO it would be money better spent on relatives who actually care about YOU and not your MONEY!!!

I would not go if my sister was intentionally excluded.

 

[The Orchid]

Well you know what i would do?? I would avoid the wedding, shower etc. and take the money you wouldve spent on clothes/gifts/transport/whatever and treat your sis to a day out. Maybe go see a show or something.

IMHO it would be money better spent on relatives who actually care about YOU and not your MONEY!!!

Great idea! I totally agree.

 

[Christine]

Bottom line:

It's up to the wedding party who they want to invite. If they want to piss off some relatives, that's what they'll do and live with it.

If you don't want to go, just don't go. RSVP with a "no" and don't tell them why unless they ask. I would also not hide it from your sister. She will find out and it's not your problem.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Being the Pollyanna type, I would first hope that a friend had offered to address the invitations for your cousin, and your sis was accidentally left off the list once (not 3 times), and friend didn't realize. I would mention to Aunt that you got an invitation, but Sis didn't, and ask if she was missed? If that's all it was, problem solved.

If not, my...uh..."non-Pollyanna" side would kick in, and I wouldn't go.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yep, very rude. You are not overreacting. Just send your regrets. I would not want to associate with someone that rude anyway no loss there.

When someone shows you who they are, you listen, take note and then act accordingly.

Now I would not cause drama over it and I would NOT say ANYTHING. I would just keep sending regrets and not send a gift. Your lack of saying something & lack of gifts will be more irritating than if you say something. In fact I would tell a white lie in why I could not attend if she asks or to your parents. That will drive her bonkers.

 

[ChristaDeVil]

I wouldn't go and you really don't owe anyone an explanation for not going. I would tell your sister, though, because she deserves to know. If the reason you believe she wasn't invited is true, that's a tacky, picky, petty reason. Why is it people use a wedding as an excuse to be nasty to others?

 

[golfgal]

My sister gets intentionally excluded from a lot of family events and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. She is rude and obnoxious and no one likes to be around her. In fact, often if I find out she is attending an event, I wouldn't go.

The bride/groom can invite whomever they want and perhaps they don't like your sister. It is also your prerogative to not go or not send a gift.

 

[Evil Genius]

You aren't saying what your parents think of all this. Are they as upset as you are? Why is it up to you to tell your sister? Your mom won't do it? If you don't want to go don't go.

 

[Inigo]

It's an invitation, not a summons. If you don't want to go, don't go. Just RSVP a no.

If you don't go, you aren't required to send a gift either. I have never understood people that think they have to send a gift in response to every invitation they get.

 

[dislaney]

I would probably not go or send a gift. I like the idea of spending the day with your sister. I think that is what I would do.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Am I overreacting? I got invited to my cousins wedding, with a +1, and my parents were invited, but my sister was NOT. She didnt get a save the date, or a shower invite, or a wedding invite. No one has asked me to clarify an address or anything? No way all three things could have been lost in the mail.

Not only do I not want to go, I do not want to send a gift. I think it is so rude to invite one sibling and not the other! (we are both in our 30's)

What do you make of this? Do I say something? It seems obvious that it was intentional.

See, I am evil.

I would go and my sister would be my +1 just to piss them off.

My gift would be something obscure and useless, although not cheap.

I attended the wedding like a good cousin and I even gave a gift. What more could the relatives want?

 

[kamik86]

Assuming that there isn't some kind of reason behind this (For example my sister was invited to one cousins wedding that I wasn't, but they are the same age and were really good friends in high school, I was 10 years younger and barely knew this cousin... so it made sense). Then I would just politely decline and do something else that day.

 

[Carly_Roach]

It's an invitation, not a summons. If you don't want to go, don't go. Just RSVP a no.

If you don't go, you aren't required to send a gift either. I have never understood people that think they have to send a gift in response to every invitation they get.

This. And I agree that it's not necessary to send any sort of reason for why DH and I wouldn't be attending.

If I was invited to a family funciton but my sister was not (which would NEVER happen in my family), I'd choose the family member whom I'm closest to (my sister) and decline the invite. My sister is going to be around for me a heck of a lot longer than that distant relative who chose to snub her.

 

[Sarah <3 Disney]

See, I am evil.

I would go and my sister would be my +1 just to piss them off.

Haha! That was my exact first thought when I read the post!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I would also bring my sister as my + 1.