There is a kid in my tree

[RadioNate]

So there was just a kid, maybe 5-6 years old up in my tree. He had climbed pretty high and this isn't a big sturdy tree. It's got some ok branches but it isn't like a big oak or something.

So I go out and ask him what he is up to. He climbs down and we have a nice chat. He's young and I've never seen him in the neighborhood before.

Along comes the dad and yells at ME for asking the kid to get out of my tree. I just didn't want the kid to fall out of my tree, break an arm or worse and get sued. People sue everyone these days. The dad assured me that he wouldn't sue me if his kid got hurt and that "this isn't that kind of neighborhood" but really would you have allowed a unknown child to climb in your tree?

I told the dad I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just a mom and didn't want him hurt. I explained that I didn't know who's child it was and if he had been hurt I wouldn't have known who to contact. The dad said that he would respect my wishes but really thought I needed to lighten up.

The dad was very "boys will be boys" and definitely encouraged the behavior.

Am I wrong? Should I have just allowed this random child to climb 15ft or so up in my tree?

 

[tchrrx]

I agree with you. If the dad doesn't mind the kid climbing trees, then he should have at least asked permission, rather than allowing his kid into your yard without permission. I wouldn't want a kid playing in my yard, more less climbing a tree.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would tell him to stay off my property, period, the end. What a total jerk!

Yea right he won't sue. Tell me another lie dude.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Hmmm...as he ever heard of tresspassing? They have no right to be on your property. You can sue them for damaging your property! This father sounds like a real tool!

 

[jaci-h]

Your property, your tree. You have every right to ask the child to get out of it.

 

[veraletta]

I agree with you and once the dad came over and started to say anything to me, about me telling his son to get down from my tree. I would have told him that they both had to get off my property!

 

[Tinijocaro]

The patch of lawn between the sidewalk and road belongs to the village, even though we mow it. The trees in that space also belong to the village. Is your tree located in a similar place or is it clearly in your yard on your property?

Our neighbor greased a tree that grew between the sidewalk and street, just to prevent them from climbing it. They had never been told to not climb it. My thought is that trees are for cllimbing.

 

[OceanAnnie]

You were being nice.

The guy was a complete jerk to yell at you and tell you what you should allow on your property. I would have invited him to find another tree elsewhere and tell him the problem would be solved.

Honestly, what kind of dad would yell over such a trivial thing with a stranger and in front of his kid?

 

[RadioNate]

Nope it is clearly in my front yard. This is a pretty little tree. I'd say the biggest branch is maybe 6in in diameter. It's only about 20ft tall. The trunk is only like 9-10 inches around at the most.

I got the low down on this guy from my neighbor. She says he is just SUPER laid back.

I actually don't have a problem with tree climbing in general. This isn't a good climbing tree. The kid was a great climber but if a branch breaks being a good climber won't help.

I wasn't mean to the kid at all. My exact words were "hey buddy, whatcha doing up there." He said "looking for berries" and I said "that tree doesn't have berries, wanna hop down?"

It isn't like I went out screaming my head off to get off my property and out of my tree.

I simply told the dad I was concerned that he would fall. I was very nice. I actually went to my other neighbor and asked if their was some unwritten neighborhood tree climbing rule that it was just ok and I was being jerky.

 

[RitaZ.]

Nope it is clearly in my front yard. This is a pretty little tree. I'd say the biggest branch is maybe 6in in diameter. It's only about 20ft tall. The trunk is only like 9-10 inches around at the most.

I got the low down on this guy from my neighbor. She says he is just SUPER laid back.

I actually don't have a problem with tree climbing in general. This isn't a good climbing tree. The kid was a great climber but if a branch breaks being a good climber won't help.

I wasn't mean to the kid at all. My exact words were "hey buddy, whatcha doing up there." He said "looking for berries" and I said "that tree doesn't have berries, wanna hop down?"

It isn't like I went out screaming my head off to get off my property and out of my tree.

I simply told the dad I was concerned that he would fall. I was very nice. I actually went to my other neighbor and asked if their was some unwritten neighborhood tree climbing rule that it was just ok and I was being jerky.

That's great. He can SUPER DUPER laid back with his kid on HIS property, not yours.

 

[MIGrandma]

Your property, your tree. You have every right to ask the child to get out of it.

This. Except you have every right to TELL the child to get out of it. And to tell them both to kindly stay off your property.

I can't imagine letting my child climb some stranger's tree in their yard. Wow.

 

[sunnyday123]

I'd take my dog over to his lawn and let her take a big 'ol dump in his yard.

Then when he yelled at me about that, I'd tell him he was being ridiculous, yards are made for poopin'.

 

[java]

I'd take my dog over to his lawn and let her take a big 'ol dump in his yard.

Then when he yelled at me about that, I'd tell him he was being ridiculous, yards are made for poopin'.

He is way out of line. Your Tree- you have every right to ask the kid what he was doing there.
We had our neighbor playing on our swingset when we weren't home. When I came home and saw this going on I asked the "babysitter" that was pushing her on the swing and she tried to lie to me about who she was. When I said I know the baby- she ran out of my yard.

I will let them on the playground if my kids are out there- but us not at home- nope not allowed- too risky.

 

[Imzadi]

The dad was very "boys will be boys" and definitely encouraged the behavior.

Some men can't be wrong, even when they are caught in a situation where they clearly are in the wrong or should apologize. They don't realize it just makes them seem stupid, instead.

 

[rie'smom]

The dad sounds like a kook. Instead of berating, he should have thanked you. Atleast 1 adult was watching out for his child.

 

[cm8]

So there was just a kid, maybe 5-6 years old up in my tree. He had climbed pretty high and this isn't a big sturdy tree. It's got some ok branches but it isn't like a big oak or something.

So I go out and ask him what he is up to. He climbs down and we have a nice chat. He's young and I've never seen him in the neighborhood before.

Along comes the dad and yells at ME for asking the kid to get out of my tree. I just didn't want the kid to fall out of my tree, break an arm or worse and get sued. People sue everyone these days. The dad assured me that he wouldn't sue me if his kid got hurt and that "this isn't that kind of neighborhood" but really would you have allowed a unknown child to climb in your tree?

I told the dad I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just a mom and didn't want him hurt. I explained that I didn't know who's child it was and if he had been hurt I wouldn't have known who to contact. The dad said that he would respect my wishes but really thought I needed to lighten up.

The dad was very "boys will be boys" and definitely encouraged the behavior.

Am I wrong? Should I have just allowed this random child to climb 15ft or so up in my tree?

I think you were well controlled, that child could have fallen and then it would have been an issue of who was at fault. I hope you let the father know that he is not allowed to climb your tree as you are not accepting any liability. Documentation beats conversation

 

[DMass]

So Mr.Super Laid Back just lets his 5 year old run around the neighborhood unsupervised?

 

[indimom]

I'd have told him to get down also. My tree, my responsibility.

My children do climb our trees, but they don't go very high.

Last week, I got back from a walk with my sis and DS's friend was 30 feet up, STANDING on a branch and reaching up to get something stuck in a higher branch, and he was directly over an old "fire pit" surrounded by concrete block!!!!!!!!!! Can you say PANIC! Once he was safely on the ground, I made my rules Very Clear on that issue!!!

 

[DeluxePrincess]

The dad is a nutcase. I can't imagine letting my children go into random neighbors' yards to play or climb trees. My neighbors don't have children, but they have this fabulous canopy swing. If the neighbors are out, they always invite my kids over to hang out on it. I would never send them over for a swing without their permission! Tree climbing can be dangerous and I'm sure if the climbing snowflake fell, you'd hear about it from the dad!

 

[smidgy]

So there was just a kid, maybe 5-6 years old up in my tree. He had climbed pretty high and this isn't a big sturdy tree. It's got some ok branches but it isn't like a big oak or something.

So I go out and ask him what he is up to. He climbs down and we have a nice chat. He's young and I've never seen him in the neighborhood before.

Along comes the dad and yells at ME for asking the kid to get out of my tree. I just didn't want the kid to fall out of my tree, break an arm or worse and get sued. People sue everyone these days. The dad assured me that he wouldn't sue me if his kid got hurt and that "this isn't that kind of neighborhood" but really would you have allowed a unknown child to climb in your tree?

I told the dad I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just a mom and didn't want him hurt. I explained that I didn't know who's child it was and if he had been hurt I wouldn't have known who to contact. The dad said that he would respect my wishes but really thought I needed to lighten up.

The dad was very "boys will be boys" and definitely encouraged the behavior.

Am I wrong? Should I have just allowed this random child to climb 15ft or so up in my tree?

years ago, we went away every weekend to the marina where we kept a little boat. there was a child on our block who was only 5 and wandered the neighborhood. he loved to climb our crab apple tree in our front yard, even though we told him he wasn't allowed in our yard.
one sunday evening we pulled into our driveway and there he was.. inour tree!
hubby jumped out of the car, the kids tried to run away, but hubby grabbed him to stop him and said "you will NOT play in my yard or climb in my tree!"
the parents were sitting on theire porch 2 houses over, and started threatening to SUE because hubby "grabbed" their child.
they said, "he wasn't the ONLY one climbing that tree!"

so, in essence, they KNEW he was in the tree, and it was ok with them. they KNEW we weren't home.
and you better believe, if he had fallen, they would have been the FIRST ones to SUE!
shheesh! in this day and age, it would be called "an attractive nuisance".