Well... some of you asked.... here is my column. Please be honest and let me know what you think - I can change anything (or everything) up until tomorrow morning when it heads to press.
When Did She Grow??
Almost twenty-two years ago, at our wedding, my father-in-law sang, Sunrise, Sunset. He choked up at the part that goes, when did she grow to be a beauty, when did he get to be so tall? Wasnt it yesterday when they were small? For a couple of years I teased him that he was really crying that I was marrying into the family.
Ive been thinking about that song a great deal the past couple of months, and yes, Ive been getting weepy and sentimental at the drop of a hat. I now fully understand the emotions that were surging through my father-in-laws body because my daughter, my Princess, my baby, the apple of my eye is graduating from high school.
Ive been frantically scrapbooking her life before we host her graduation party - Im trying to squeeze in eighteen years of memories - both laughter and tears - into around five hundred cute and nostalgic pages. The other morning I was sitting with my husband, showing him my handiwork and at the same time, we turned to each other and asked, Where did the time go? How did she grow up so fast?
Wasnt it just yesterday that we swaddled her in that tiny pink and blue blanket and strapped her in the car seat to bring her home from the hospital? During the few precious hours that she did sleep, I would go in and wake her up, to make sure she was really okay. We scalded those pacifiers, used massive amounts of baby detergent on her little spit-up frilly dresses, and I swear that we owned stock in hairbow and fancy sock companies! I clearly remember her first words at five months of age, her first racing steps at ten months. When she was one year old, someone asked her what her name was. She replied, Baby doll. Maybe we did go a little overboard with our compliments....
Autumns toddler years were so happy and carefree - the trips to the zoo, museums, fish hatchery,
Disneyland - all wonderful memories that will last forever. She learned that she would have to share this idyllic life with a little brother when she was not quite three. In typical fashion, after taking her baby blanket off of him, she discovered that she liked being a big sister and made him her comrade in arms.
Mastering a bicycle, roller skating, fishing, gymnastics, and dance - she mastered them all with zest. I learned to skirt around the living room so as not to bump into her as she practiced her shuffle ball change, ball change, ball change - at a faster tempo. Im sure she scandalized more than one little old lady as she performed cartwheels down the aisles of the grocery store. With a pet at her side - and believe me, weve had just about all of them, she made the backyard her very own adventureland. Imagination was and still remains a vital part of her life.
I blinked my eyes and the next thing I knew, I was at the elementary school, enrolling my petite little child in kindergarten. At my first teacher conference, I was told, she has an opinion on everything. I thought that was a good thing, still do. She taught herself to read that year and soon her bookshelves were overflowing. She quickly became a social butterfly and our calendar was penciled in with playdates and parties. When she was in third grade, she put her foot down and outlawed hairbows and perms. Looking back at the photos from that period, I see that she made a wise decision.
Boys, boys, boys..... I know that she really didnt major in boys in the middle school years, it just appears that way. Tall boys, quiet boys, mischievous boys - they all passed through our doorway. Autumn also became a cheerleader and soon my life was consumed with juggling cheerleading practices and Saturday games with dance rehearsals during the week. I complained, bitterly, about the inconvenience, yet I would sit for hours, mesmerized, watching her dance and cheer and fly through the air.
I turned my head, I swear for just an instant, and when I looked back - we were at the shopping mall searching for the perfect high school wardrobe. She was the same height as me now, although she swears that she is one inch taller - but I think she just stretches up on her tippy-toes to reach five foot, one inch. Shes maintained her academic excellence, taking accelerated courses that make my head spin. Working, driving, dating - although not necessarily in that order - thats a huge part of her life nowadays. She amazes me that she can type on the computer and talk on her cell phone at the same time. She joined the dance team and I soon became a regular at football fields all over Pennsylvania on Friday evenings, my camera with its trusty zoom lens close at hand.
The countdown to graduation has commenced - its thirteen days, four and one half hours. She has her college acceptance letter in hand, her announcements stamped and in the mail. She is excited and jubilant. I am sad and scared. We spent the past eighteen years trying to be the best parents ever, instilling morals and ethics into our childrens lives, preparing them for the day that they will be out on their own. Now the day has come that my first baby bird is ready to leave the nest and I worry and wonder if I have done a good enough job. The world is a big, scary place - and she still is so tiny and small.....
In thirteen days, four and one half hours, I will be sitting in a crowded auditorium with hundreds of other adoring parents and grandparents. I will have my camera clutched in one hand, my official Graduation clapper in the other - and a pack of kleenex tucked into my armpit, because its a given that I will be crying as they call my little girl to the stage to receive her diploma.
When, oh when, did she grow????