The pros of being an older parent?

[luna99]

Does anyone want to give me some positives about being an older parent?

DH is 40 and I am 32 and we are going to start trying to have a baby next year.. so I will probably be giving birth when I'm 33 and DH will be 41. Sometimes I feel bad that we will be older parents to our children... but there really was nothing we could do.. DH and I got together in 2005 so honestly we are right on track... relationship wise.

I also think I want to have 2 kids..but that's getting ahead of myself here. lol.

anyway.. I'd love to hear from older parents and get some opinions on how it is and how the experience was for you.

thanks in advance!!!

 

[The Moonk's Mom]

I'm not sure we would be considered older, but I was 26 when we had our first and DH was 30. I think the biggest advantage was being settled in life a little more than some of my friends were. They had children young and struggled I think more than we have had to. We are able to provide for our kids and enjoy them more wihtout having to worry about so much other stuff. Not to say that we don't EVER have to worry...but I think it has been easier in that manner.

 

[jakenjess]

I was 33 when I had my first and almost 35 when I had my second, so I guess I'm considered an "older" parent! I think I'm more laid back (though maybe my kids don't think so!) than I would have been 10 years earlier and have more life experience to be able to keep things in perspective. Also we're financially better off so therefore have been able to do more for the kids than we would have in our 20s. Best of luck to you!

 

[frtchr]

I had my first last year when I was 34 and I'm due with my second in 3 weeks. I don't have as much energy as I would have had as a younger parent, but I think I have plenty of patience. (I also taught middle school for 10 years, so that might help, too.) Financially we're much better off than when we were younger as well.

I think there are pros and cons to any situation, but as long as you love your kids and do the best that you can for them, that's all that matters in the long run...not how old or young you are. Good luck!

 

[melcan]

32 is YOUNG. Not going to mention my age when I had my DS. I WISH I had been in my early 30's. But due to circumstances my life didn't go that way. You probably won't have the energy level you had in your 20's, however being more settled and having life experiences is a giant plus.

 

[Poohbug]

I had my first when I was 29 and my last when I was 36. I don't know about other people but speaking for myself I know I am a much better parent now than I would have been in my 20s. I have much more patience and am more relaxed.
I really don't think it matters what age you are. It is much more important what kind of parent you are. Many people are in their 40s when they become parents-don't worry about it.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

32 is YOUNG. Not going to mention my age when I had my DS. I WISH I had been in my early 30's. But due to circumstances my life didn't go that way. You probably won't have the energy level you had in your 20's, however being more settled and having life experiences is a giant plus.

Ok...glad someone pointed this out!!! 32 is definately not an "older" parent!!!

 

[thegrimdwarf]

I was 32 and 34 when my kids were born. My DH and I have been together since I was 18 and he was 20. We intentionally waited until our 30's to start a family, mostly for financial reasons. We wanted a SAHM situation for our kids, and we wanted to be comfortable living on his income, so we waited. Built up a nice nest egg, bought our house, bought and paid off our cars, paid off debt, etc, etc, etc. We now live very comfortably on his income.

I don't wonder what I'm missing by not being a working woman, because I did it all and then hung up my hat. We lived large in our 20's, enjoying our freedom and income. I wasn't at all ready to be a mom when I was 25 (or 27, or even 30). I couldn't live the life I do now, 10 years ago, and been happy. My kids are my world, and I have no problem with that - I don't feel like I should be doing something else, because I already did it.

So I think one of the best things about starting your family later in life, is that you've lived more, and found a way to be comfortable with who you are and what you have. I have friends my age, with kids who are teenagers, and some of them are regressing, lol - mainly because they didn't get to have the wild times in their early to mid 20's, because they had babies at home.

 

[3boys4me]

I had my first ds at 29, my second at 33 and my last at 38. I think it's great. My kids make me feel young. When we go to birthday parties or school functions I am never the oldest mom in the class. As a matter of fact there are quite a few of the moms that are right at my age. I have the benefit of staying home with my kids now and I don't think that was possible when I had my first. I was lucky and could bring my kids to work, but it is much nicer staying home with them. You are by no means older, especially these days. I think "older" is the norm. I would have another one tomorrow even at my "old" age. Here's some baby dust for you

 

[tam626]

I was 19 & 24 when I had my first two kids. Got remarried when I was 37 & had my son at 38. The only difference is that I have a little more patience but that's probably because I've been through it all before. I agree with pp, 33 is young. You'll be great.

 

[luna99]

Here's some baby dust for you

woooo! thanks for that!! I'd be happy if I got pregnant right now!

sorry about considering 32-33 an "old" mom. I know it's not really OLD but I think maybe it's because I'm from a BIG mexican family and most of my cousins had their kids in their 20's.. not to mention most of them have anywhere between 2-6 kids each!

 

[mrsklamc]

This thread is so encouraging to me! I always wanted to be a younger mom than I'm going to get to be, so this really helps!

 

[shane&jakesmom]

You are never too old.
Older parents do have more wisdom, but less patience, and definitely worry more IMO. Either way it really does not matter, being a parent at any age is a wonderful experience, that should be truly treasured.
Good Luck

 

[nannerbadnanner]

I am 33 and DH is 40, and our DDs are 2.5 and 6 months old. Honestly, I wasn't mature enough to have a child before 30. Also, we were much more financially secure. We also wanted to be in a place where I could be a SAHM if I wanted to. I did go back to work after my first DD was born, but quite after a few months to stay home with her.

 

[Benducci]

I was 35, turning 36 when I had my twins who were my first. I had my baby two years later when I was 37 turning 38. My mom had me when she was 19, my youngest brother when she was 39. My grandmother had her first when she was 34, her youngest when she was 47. Age is in your mind. I feel just as up to parenting as the youngest parent in my girls' class, who btw is 25. I thought I would be the oldest parent in the class but to be honest, most of the parents are more around my age or in their 30's. I can only count one or two that are in their 20's. I like that we were settled and together for awhile before we had our kids. We matured with each other.

 

[peytonsmomie]

I'm not an older parent, so my "pro's" of being one come from watching the older mom's of my kid's friends.

~ Older moms generally have their careers in hand. They can take time off, b/c they aren't at the bottom of the seniority scale.

~ Older moms have "found themselves" they spent their younger years out having fun, forging friendships and having adventures. Now they are content with zoo days being the wildest days they have.

~ Older moms are generally more adept at interpersonal relationships. They know themselves, their spouses, and their community. They are less likely to feel incompetent when dealing with "well meaning" advice givers, and family.

~ Older moms are typically more financially secure, and less likely to become displaced homemakers.

~ Older moms don't get those "tsk tsk" remarks from nosy old biddies who think it's their business whether you are too young!

~ Older moms can appreciate a slower pace of life. They're not usually juggling school, jobs, kids, extended family, and volunteer work! Although, as is true for all moms, they're still busy busy ladies!

~ Older moms don't have to waste their time glamming up just to drop the kids at school (PLEASE don't be one of those moms who come to class parties in full-face makeup! Those are the worst!).

I can go on and on. The best time to have a baby is when you're ready for one! Never let anyone make you feel as though your age precludes your kids from certain benefits! As his or her mommy, you're all the benefit they need!

 

[mom2aredhead]

Like everyone said, the biggest pro is patience. I see lots of young moms that have more physically energy than me, but are mentally frazzled because they just don't have the maturity level they would if they had waited a few years.
(** Disclaimer - Before I hear from any 22 year old mothers of 3 with perfect kids and the patience of a saint - I am speaking about my own experiences with people I know. Clearly there are good and bad parents of all shapes/sizes and ages and I am not making a sweeping generalization that should be taken personally!)

My husband and I got married right before I turned 30 and my son was born almost 5 years later. I like that we had time to enjoy being married first - we got used to each other, we were more financially ready, we bought a townhouse, we traveled, paid off student loans etc. before we had to pay for formula, diapers or think about my son's college tuition.

I'm 39 and my son is starting kindergarten this year. My sister in law is 40 and her daughter is starting her sophomore year of college. At times we wish we were in the other ones shoes, and other times we look at each other and think "whew, glad that's not me".

 

[mom~of~2]

I really don't think it matters what age you are. It is much more important what kind of parent you are.

Absolutely!

I had my first at 31 and my second at 33. We're now considering whether we try for #3.

For us, being "older" parents worked better (although I really don't feel like we're older parents!). I had to get some stuff out of my system before I was ready. For me, it was education and career progression. By the time we started a family, we were ready to go... stable relationship, stable financial situation, and the maturity to handle it! Being a parent is one tough job (but wonderful )

Best of luck to you.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

I'm 39 and my boys are 4, 2 and 1. I may not always have as much energy as I did when I was younger, but at my age I find it a lot easier to make sacrifices and put the kids first - I'm not quite as selfish as I was when I was younger.

One thing I didn't like about having kids at 35 is at that age you're medically classified as "Advanced Maternal Age" (AMA) which I wasn't real crazy about hearing as I sure didn't feel that old. The really good thing, though, is that because of my "advanced age" I got to go for more frequent ultrasounds and went to see a perinatologist and had a way-cool 3D u/s... so I guess that was one perk to being older!

Kids are a blessing at any age and sometimes when you wait for them they're appreciated that much more.

 

[coles1mom]

Had my first, last and only at age 38. She's now 13. You do the math. The only thing my OB told me was I would be the oldest mom in Kindergarten. I wasn't. A lot of families are waiting until later in life now days.

Cole has the upper hand, I'm a grandma's age, so on Saturday, chocolate cake for breakfast sure. Oh, grab a glass of milk with that.

Age has nothing to do with energy level. Just ask Richard Simmons At 32, you could even have 3 or more. Good Luck and enjoy them while they're little. They grow up much too quickly.