Packing
My strategy this year didn't pay off. Rather than opt to use a battered large suitcase kept in the garage whose cleanliness was much in doubt, I purchased a cheap rolling duffel from
WalMart to store the majority of my clothes. Long-sleeve items and jeans, I packed into a smaller suitcase. In light of how many days I would spend away, both ended up stuffed to the gills even though I was well under the bag check weight limit, and I was worried about the integrity of the zippers. No room for souvenirs, either. I would later pay dearly for my hubris.
For this trip, I increased the number of light shorts and reduced the number of cargo shorts I was bringing. Anticipating the possibility of cool weather, I also packed two pairs of jeans. As it happened, I would soon discover that pockets are a necessity if you don't plan to take a bag to the parks. Due to the high heat, I never wore either of the jeans. I also packed a waterproof windbreaker that remained in the room the entire trip along with a second pair of sneakers destined for the same fate.
I hasten to add that, in 2012, my brother and I always took a siesta in the early evening before dinner, which was often at a hotel, rather than a park. My best friend has a broader interest in attractions, and since traveling together, I have myself learned more about how much there is to do at Disney, meaning that we are both liable to pack more into one day and linger in a park until dinnertime. This reduces the opportunity for changing clothes, and he responded appropriately, by lugging fewer changes with him. I didn't do the same, and ended up with a large selection of collared shirts, slacks, and a second belt that I never wore.
Hoping to dress up for Mickey's Not-So-Scary, I tossed in a khaki long-sleeve shirt, a Talespin t-shirt, and a red pilot's cap. Even then, I was skeptical about the logistics of trying to get back to our resort before the Halloween Party since it was going to be the same evening we had scheduled Hoop-de-Doo, but I wanted the option just in case.
On a previous park visit with my brother, I had brought a small penlight to go hunting for interesting creepy-crawlies once it turned dark. I doubted that my best friend would find the same diversion equally engaging, so I crossed the light off the packing list.
I did add a Swiss Army Knife to one of the outer pockets of my suitcase, thinking some tools might come in handy. That decision paid off, since I ended up using the scissors and small knife for various odd jobs in the room: severing tags and wristbands, opening welcome packages, and fiddling with the clasp of my adjustable-length belt.
Two critical new additions to my wardrobe that I would use each and every day? Sunglasses and a baseball cap.
Transport
I have rarely seen a taxi cab in Chattanooga, so I opted instead for a Lyft--my first one, as it happens. The driver arrived well within the window I had allotted, and was very friendly. He was playing rap, which I like, and found our conversation so engaging that he declined to stop for gasoline. This was fortuitous: I had allotted two hours' lead time before take-off, but the security line ended up being surprisingly slow, and it wasn't too long after I processed that my flight boarded.
I'd say I'm always careful to tip on top of the basic ride fare, but the Lyft app makes it easy and appealing to give a $5 tip even for rides that top out at less than $10. I would end up using Lyft a half-dozen times during our trip, and every time I tipped at least $5, no matter how small the fare. I always considered this money well-spent.
The worst part of the day was sprinting to make a connecting flight at ATL to MCO. If memory serves, the destination airport was changed from CLT (Charlotte), probably due to the aftermath of Hurricane Florence. After an on-time departure from Chattanooga despite torrential rainfall during the prior few days, I touched down about 8:00AM and found that my connecting flight was already boarding. Luckily, I arrived before the jet doors closed.
The plane from ATL to MCO was large enough that every seat back had a built-in monitor. The movies included recent fare like Solo, as well as Netflix exclusives. I alternated between the Dwight Johnson vehicle
Rampage, a documentary about child broadcaster Mr. Rogers, and the Disney classic,
Finding Nemo. Remember: Fish are friends, not food!
Because Disney had sent an insufficient number of special luggage tags, I had to present my luggage claim tickets to the cast member at Magical Express check-in, but he assured me that my bags would still be found and forwarded to my resort.
Queuing for the Magical Express bus was the first time I got to put eyes on the size of the crowds headed to Disney, and I confess to being mildly and unpleasantly surprised by the number of people present so early in the day. It was a harbinger of what I was to encounter in the parks during the week ahead.
The Ride to Disney World
Our bus driver was courteous and the drive uneventful. I only bring this up to contrast the experience we had in 2012, when the driver also kept up a running commentary on local wildlife (alligators and an eagle's nest) and points-of-interest such as the humongous Gaylord Resort. The movie playing on the bus monitor was the same one they'd put on during my 2016 visit, and it was hard to pay attention.
Check-in
The bus pulled into the Customs House turnabout around 11AM after dropping off at the Boardwalk resorts. Sadly, the old Customs House struggles to impress if you've just swept through the old Atlantic City grandeur of luxury resorts.
I left my bags with the bell station and proceeded to check in on behalf of my party around 11AM. As expected, our rooms were still being made-up. The desk agent helpfully described the ad-hoc changes to resort operations.
Here, I made the biggest mistake of the trip: I did not request that we be assigned a room convenient to the dining facilities, concierge, and other amenities temporarily standing in for Port Royal. In 2016, we had stayed just steps away from that hub, making it easy to grab quick breakfasts, packages, and other conveniences on the way back from the parks. Soon, we would pay some of our $2,000 savings back in time and energy commuting between our block of rooms and the concierge desk.
Wandering the Resort
Traveling by train, my friend was delayed two hours due to hurricane debris on the tracks in South Carolina. This gave me an opportunity to walk the resort. I hopped the internal shuttle to Trinidad South in search of the poolside grill.
It's been a long time since I've had hamburgers or french fries. This trip marked the second time I'd be going "off-plan" since May, so I was looking forward to some great eats. I must have been gawking at the overhead menu, because the short-order cook flashed a huge grin when he saw me and announced: "You look very hungry!" Unconvinced that I wanted to commit to a chorizo burger before a planned lunch at Magic Kingdom, I wisely fled with only a cup of water in hand.
Proceeding leisurely, I took the walking trail north to the bridge crossing over Barefoot Bay into Jamaica. One gets great views of two different construction projects from that vantage point: the new resort additions and the Skyway towers.
Keys to the Kingdom
My friend arrived about 2PM, and after getting his bags sorted, we boarded the park shuttle to Magic Kingdom.
Back in 2016, we'd enjoyed street performers, including Ace the Magician's close-up magic, in Town Square. This year, we didn't see any performers, and so instead we headed for the Fire Station to get started on Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom. My friend feels that I am far too hard on Sorcerers, but it felt to me like we ended up spending an inordinate amount of time either waiting for or assisting frustrated guests who couldn't activate the card readers.
Our first stop was Casey's Corner for dogs. After a chaotic 20 minutes in line, I got the foot-long chili dog and some french fries. The fries were disappointingly bland, but the hot dog seemed to have improved by leaps and bounds since 2012: exceptionally tasty and filling. I drowned mine in sauerkraut, mustard, and ketchup.
After lunch, we made the requisite pilgrimage to the Carousel of Progress. This is perhaps my second-favorite of the Magic Kingdom attractions. The audio-animatronics have excellent realism, and the family seems so authentic to me. I really enjoy imagining what life must have been like in the Midwest of 1903 and 1925. This year was the first time we saw the re-imagined Future scene, which is really just an uncomfortable merger of 1980's decor and c. 2018 "smart" technology.
The Carousel of Progress is one of the few attractions for which I can see the argument against revision. For one thing, the structural challenge of choosing which dioramas to swap or keep is an issue, since it's impossible to just "tack on" something new without reducing the size of an existing scene. For another, this is one of those experiences whose purpose is the hearken back to the past. It seems fitting to respect the original vision by making no substitutions or revisions.
Our third stop was the Monster's, Inc. Laugh Floor, where my friend was the butt of an unfortunate and unwelcome joke from the two-headed comedians about the color of his shirt. The quality of that show correlates very highly with the level of engagement from (or bafflement of) the crowd, so I resolved on a second showing in the future. My friend did manage to get amusement from the success of one of the cast member's jokes at my expense: advised that, "Sir, you've dropped your pocket," I ducked to retrieve it before thinking through what had been said.
In this particular case, there were two memorable audience members. The first, a school-aged kid of about 9, declared that his favorite book was Captain Underpants when questioned by the two-headed comedian, and was obliged to explain the character to the crowd, which was very entertaining. "That Guy" turned out to be a gentleman wearing a shirt saying, "I don't do much in church, and I won't do much here," which set him up for a lot of good banter, especially when it came to the promotion he received at the end of the show.
I really like Laugh floor for the level of inter-activity involved. I respect Disney for taking the risk of crowd engagement. To modify a remark of Dr. Ian Malcolm's from
Jurassic Park, the difference is that, if the Pirates of the Caribbean ride breaks down, the guests don't feel insulted, and you can never catch a pirate king flubbing his lines. At the same time, the ride doesn't change on repeat viewings, which is a really great draw. I hope Disney does more to give guests experiences like the one they receive at Laugh Floor. Mindful of the recommendation of Steve Porter on the DIS, I would make it a point to return to the Laugh Floor to see different routines later in the trip.
Space Ranger Spin was next. I like the gimmick, and the queue is attractive (the main screen is one of those old viewfinder toys, a la
Toy Story), but we forgot to look up tips and tricks beforehand. Both my friend and I turned in very poor showings, probably in large part due to my erratic management of our positioning. My friend did not appreciate the impact of my piloting on his digestion.
We declined the choking smog of Tomorrowland Speedway. In 2016, the steering was so poor, I felt a prisoner in the ride vehicle. Our next stop was a Stitch photo op, followed by one with Goofy in Storybookland. Both were packed, and between them, we ate up about 90 minutes. Not much to say there. I think we were both satisfied with the results, but it was an important lesson on crowd size even in late September. The crowds were so large, I was loathe to try for anything ambitious in terms of poses or requests.
By dinnertime, we had also cycled through Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle Cruise. Red was a great new addition to Pirates, and I didn't mind the replacement of the brides for sale, but I dislike the "intrusion" of the movie, a sentiment that increased in strength during this trip. It feels excessive to see Jack Sparrow so often during the ride, and I preferred the generic tale to the branded one, even if I understand Disney's despite to bring more IP to the parks. On the upside, I appreciate that even with the new theming, the ride tells a story of its own rather than retrace the movie plot, which I contend is a problem afflicting other Magic Kingdom stops like Peter Pan and the Winnie the Pooh ride.
We had a great dead-pan skipper for Jungle Cruise and left the ride just as a storm broke. On stand-by, this attraction was one of our longest waits of the entire trip at 25 minutes.
The Canteen
We ate our first table service meal at The Jungle Skipper Canteen. We were sat in the main dining room, whereas our 2016 meal had been in the library. Our waitress, Kristina, was hands down the best of the many great servers we had during the trip. The snarky waiter shtick is one that we have tried before, sometimes with disastrous results when the server resorts to bullying. Few waiters seem to know how to pull it off, but Kristina's emotional intelligence resulted in a perfect blend of absurdity and warmth that really played well with the Jungle Cruise ambiance. I consider myself a generous tipper in any setting, but I gave one of the largest tips in memory for this meal and felt like I got my money's worth in care.
As I had tried the shu mai and lamb in 2016, I sampled the cachapas and "A Lot of Steak" salad this time. The cachapas were probably not as good as the shu mai, but the dish did come loaded up with toppings, which were both tasty and filling. The steak salad was huge and excellent, and if you are a fan of Thai steak salad, I urge you to try this version, which will please. I declined to finish it all or order dessert because we still had one final eat planned for the evening.
After dinner, we rode a very crowded Disney monorail through the Contemporary over to the Polynesian Resort, which is one of my favorite in terms of theming, especially after the sun has gone down. Sadly, I did not get to see the maintenance tractor operating on the line, which I always look out for.
A Bad Trade
Trader Sam's Grog Grotto was our final stop of the first night in 2016 and really seemed to have earned its chops. Arriving late on a Saturday night, we had outdoor table service, grabbing a Portuguese sausage dish that has now disappeared and the
Bánh Mì sliders, washed down with a pair of Schweitzer Falls drinks in souvenir tiki cups.
I love tiki culture, and the Grog Grotto's outdoor seating area is pretty eye-catching. My friend isn't big on the drinks, but I tend to enjoy them, and that held true on this visit.
This time, the host stand was empty and, unassisted by the restaurant staff, we ended up at the bar counter. Both of us had hoped to purchase a Nautilus drink cup, sans alcohol. Sadly, the cast members insisted that the cup could be sold only with the drink inside--at a price of $55. While we found this gobstopping, we were polite about it and simply placed a different order. My friend still hoped to find a work-around, so he got up and sought out a manager inside the resort, where he made the request again. He was then advised that the cup itself is not in Disney's computer system as an independent item, meaning there is no way to tabulate the check for such a purchase. My friend thanked them and returned to the table, but we struggled with the experience. This seemed like a strange case in which the park put the customer out so as not to have to do any paperwork at the end of the night. It's the kind of logic I would never want to offer to leadership at my workplace because it really amounts to: "I inconvenienced the stakeholder to avoid work for myself." It could also have been service recovery for the seating drop and long wait times we experienced for food and drink. While we were finishing our meal, servers began visiting other tables while ignoring our own. I fear that I will be unable to convince my friend to return to Trader Sam's on a future visit because it left such a bad impression this time.
Return to the Caribbean Beach
After perusing the gift shops (I love how Polynesian sells dime store novels, since I'm a big consumer of quick reads while in line for rides), we decided to make our grand exit via taxi. (My friend prefers them to Lyft because he is more comfortable with the vetting of a traditional medallion cab service.)
Unfortunately, the two staff on duty at the car port post were slow to be helpful. Eventually, we were advised that they were unable to get through to the taxi cab dispatcher, probably because it was the same time that the parks were letting out.
In deference to the clock, we sought and obtained a cheap Lyft ride back to our resort.
It's Gone Missing!
This year, we were both pleasantly surprised to find that all of our luggage had arrived by the time we were ready to turn in, and we retrieved it from the bell station at the Customs House before boarding the internal resort shuttle to Martinique, where we were staying.
The room was disappointing. I don't recall being so underwhelmed on my last visit, although we'd had a beach view. This time, we had a parking lot view, but also a corner section with exterior windows on two sides, so it should have been a wash. The room lacked for decor excepting the sliding doors flanking the sinks and closet area. The toilet and shower were in a separate water closet-type space. One picture, a pleasant landscape of a Caribbean island town, was on the wall by the television.
Customarily, one of the two of us orders a welcome basket. This year, we were looking forward to celebrating some important health milestones. Sadly, the basket had not been delivered when we got up to the room and we had to spent 45 minutes on the phone trying to find it, most of it on hold. The cast member who took our call eventually returned with a pledge to do his best in the day ahead.
This was disappointing primarily because we were mentally prepared to celebrate on Day One. Part of that owes to the fact that we were following a very tight schedule, and part to simple anticipation.
