The new "New Moms" thread!

[beckmrk04]

Dmickey- Ugh! What a tough weekend! Hopefully the tick is nothing. We have a lot of them here (ticks) and it is scary, I know.


Well, today was DH's birthday. I can't say it was a "good" day. Vaylie woke up with an attitude, and by the time she went to bed, I was scraping the bottom of the bowl for patience. Not much left. SHe was cranky and mad and hit me about 300 times. By the 295th time I was ready to smack her back. She was just a pill. I don't know what was up with her. So, of course, I was cranky because she was cranky. Poor DH. he tried to make things better. But we started out late and I forgot the camera and V was just cranky as can be, and I wasn't much better.

I'm ready for bed.

 

[exwdwcm]

Dmickey- hope you guys all get to feeling better. I know we were all miserable when we had it. hugs!!!

Becky- sorry about V being cranky on DH's bday.

Kelly- thanks for the link again, i actually marked it as a fav now!

time for some caffeine (coke!)- i usually don't drink them in the am- but AF is killing me with cramps and usually caffeine helps. I seriously need prescription drugs for the cramps i have. it is worse since having Will, but they have been bad for years (i had endo). I am not on any BC and will not be again- usually the pill would help make the symptoms better, but the pills also gives me stomach issues. ugh! so i am living with my midol. I have some leftover pain killers from after having Will, but those just make me tired.

i finished his birthday invites last night- my cousin makes those homemade cards and helped me make some cute pirate ones with his picture in a pirate hat!

 

[beckmrk04]

Whew- first day at the new branch (I'm home one lunch!!). It's busier than I'm used to, for sure. And I haven't had time to make myself comfortable- you know, put up some pictures and my nameplate, re-arrange things the way I like them, etc. But, it's a shorter work day and that's awesome.

I am falling behind on my B12 shots, and it's catching up with me- I am sooo tired. Fatigued, really.

Michelle- the invites sound really cute!

 

[Pollito916]

Okay so now i was giving DS a bath tonight and found a TICK on him.

I hope your week is going better than your weekend and that the tick didn't do any harm for Alexander.

just updated Will's blog today with some new pics- http://williamreed1.blogspot.com/

Cute pics Michelle - Will looks like such a happy baby - and I love the one of him trying to lick the dog - too funny!

Well, today was DH's birthday. I can't say it was a "good" day. Vaylie woke up with an attitude, and by the time she went to bed, I was scraping the bottom of the bowl for patience. Not much left. SHe was cranky and mad and hit me about 300 times. By the 295th time I was ready to smack her back. She was just a pill. I don't know what was up with her. So, of course, I was cranky because she was cranky. Poor DH. he tried to make things better. But we started out late and I forgot the camera and V was just cranky as can be, and I wasn't much better.

That's too bad about your DH's b-day, you never can tell with kids when it will be one of "those" days. We were having one with Alex this morning, but he seems to have cooled off for now and is watching the Winnie the Pooh movie on Disney Channel with DH. Hope everything is going well at your first day of work at the new branch!

 

[Pollito916]

I almost forgot, Alex did the cutest thing yesterday. My mom found a brochure from the DDP from the last time we went to Disney, and she let Alex look at it. he was pointing out all the characters he knows, "Bickey and Dowald," then he brought it to my sister and said, "Tia, Bickey? Please? PLEEASE?" And the last one was practically crying! Finally my sister said, "Ok, we'll take you to see Mickey," and he got really happy and calmed down. It seems our brainwash-teaching is working!

And today we were watching the Tigger Movie and when it ended and the music was playing, he came to grab my hand and said, "'Mere, Momma, Dance," and brought me to the living room to dance while he was "singing" and dancing to the music! He had some really fancy moves - I think he was watching Dancing with the Stars this week with my mom while I was in LA!

 

[beckmrk04]

Well, I survived my first day at the new branch. I was on the verge of tears at points... I miss my co-workers. I miss the comraderie, you know? I think I'll be ok here, but I don't think we'll all be close like we were at the other place. And it's kind of bumming me out.

I called there today and they miss me already too.

But, I keep reminding myself that this is what is best for my family (and my finances!) right now, and my family is my number one priority.

*sigh* I'm just feeling sorta down about the whole thing. I know that once I get into the swing of things, I'll feel better.

 

[DMickey28]

ahh Becky I am sorry that you had a tough day. The beginning can always be tough. I am sorry that your DH's birthday wasn't that great either.

Pollito - That sounds so adorable!! I can't believe how vocal Alex is. My Alexander still doesn't say much and we are starting to get a little nervous. We went to the ped this morning for the tick bite and the tummy bug, everything is ok there. He said if we don't have more words by our 18 month appointment in a month then we will start EI and some tests.

 

[kpm76]

Well, I survived my first day at the new branch. I was on the verge of tears at points... I miss my co-workers. I miss the comraderie, you know? I think I'll be ok here, but I don't think we'll all be close like we were at the other place. And it's kind of bumming me out.

I called there today and they miss me already too.

But, I keep reminding myself that this is what is best for my family (and my finances!) right now, and my family is my number one priority.

*sigh* I'm just feeling sorta down about the whole thing. I know that once I get into the swing of things, I'll feel better.

Aww, change is always hard, particularly when you you leave a good situation. I am sure within a few weeks you will be loving your new post and will realize that is was the best decision for you and your family

 

[kellyf2626]

Becky.... I know it must be hard in a new place, but pretty soon I am sure it will feel more familiar and better for you. Hope tomorrow is better for you!!

 

[beckmrk04]

Thanks ladies.

All day I could feel my throat tighten, and I would refuse to let myself cry. But once I got home, the waterworks began.

I know deep down that this was the right move, I do. And I hope that in time I'll get to know the new people I work with and that things will improve. Plus, it's not like I can't ever see my old coworkers again- they aren't that far away.

It's just an adjustment. And I keep thinking, "What if I hate it?" Then what? Too late now. And I know that sort of thinking is counter-productive. I just have to make the best of it. I'm sure in time it will all work out and things will be fine. But change is usually really easy for me, and this time it's not.

 

[ashjohnson80]

Aww, that's too bad that she doesn't appreciate your hard work, and I'm sure the costume is adorable. But I have to admit that the idea of a 10 month old baring her teeth and ripping sleeves off is pretty funny.

Yeah it was. But she's really starting to show that she has a temper. Today I was cleaning up and she saw a sippy cup and had a fit because I wouldn't give it to her (it was dirty).

Oh nuts, I think I hear her waking up.

 

[mrs.explorer1977]

Yeah it was. But she's really starting to show that she has a temper. Today I was cleaning up and she saw a sippy cup and had a fit because I wouldn't give it to her (it was dirty).

Been there, done that...just yesterday actually. We picked up a bottle from the floor that we had missed (hard to see anything for all the toys) and he had a FREAK OUT because we wouldn't let him try and drink the gross milk drops left in it.

Yikes! Guess I need to be a bit more vigilant about making sure old bottles aren't lying around!

I can't believe the temper on him though when he's not getting his way and thinks he should be!! I don't know whether to laugh at him or get scared that it's starting so early!

Colin's at daycare today -- DH's Nonna (grandma) was supposed to have him today, but called yesterday and has the flu really bad. Thankfully, Beth (our daycare lady) was able to bail us out! Otherwise, one of us would've been faking sick today!

 

[beckmrk04]

Yikes! Guess I need to be a bit more vigilant about making sure old bottles aren't lying around!

A while back DH and I were picking up the house, and I moved the large rocking chair in Vaylie's room to sweep under it. Apparently it had been a while ( ) because I found a small bottle full of black formula. It was sick. I just pitched it- no way was I washing that out.

And on the temper issue- OH, is my girl fiesty. The hitting business is outta control. She sat time out no less than 5 times last night. The, she started throwing a fit in the time-out chair and bonked her head on the wall, and then she was really pissed. She was slapping herself, the naughty chair, whatever. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh.

It's sort of funny, though- she knows when she's being naughty, and she'll tell you "mime out." She says it all the time now. Or if I say, "Vaylie, don't _____________ (fill in the blank)" she'll say, "mime out."

 

[7beasley]

Hi Guys -- quick post -- I will post more later.

I was only gone a freakin' week and my desk is overflowing with work and people acting like I have been gone for a year...geez - 1 freakin' week garners this much back log work!!

Anyway -- wanted to say a couple of quick things

Becki - (((Hugs))) about the new job!! It will get better - there is always an adjustment period. And this is SO much better for your family and your wallet - it will all work out!

Kelly - -LOVE LOVE LOVE the superstar pix of Brady -- he is a Dis Celebrity!! So cute.

Michelle - the Will invites sound cute.

Pollito - good brainwashing of Alex - so cute!!

Hi to everyone -- I know I am forgetting tons but I just have a quick second to post. I have read everyone's updates and will post more later.

We are good. Getting ready for Izzy's 1st birthday - having the party on Sat Oct 18th -- how can she be a year already?

Talk to you guys soon!!

Back to work! So much "punishment" for just a little week in Disney!!

-Nicole

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Dmickey - are you recovered yet from all the viruses and such?

Becky - it gets better. It's one of the reasons I haven't left my regular job yet. /i love the people I work with, and don't really want to settle in somewhere else.

Nicole - welcome back!


Christopher has turned into a walking machine! He's still wicked unsteady, but he thinks it's hysterical if he sits down hard. So maybe now that he's moving, he'll start talking. /i finally called EI to set up an eval, so hopefully they call back soon.

 

[Pollito916]

Well, I survived my first day at the new branch. I was on the verge of tears at points... I miss my co-workers. I miss the comraderie, you know?

Aww Becky, I'm sure it will get better as you get to know everyone else at your new branch and spend more time there.

My Alexander still doesn't say much and we are starting to get a little nervous. We went to the ped this morning for the tick bite and the tummy bug, everything is ok there. He said if we don't have more words by our 18 month appointment in a month then we will start EI and some tests.

I'm glad Alexander is feeling better. My SIL is supposed to start EI and testing in October for their little one that is 2.5 weeks older than Alex. It sounds like from what she tells me and what I remember of him when we lived there that there is nothing physically wrong with him and he is just lazy because they give him everything he wants so there is no motivation to talk. He was kind of a late walker too (16 months), so it seems consistent.

From the ways you have described Alexander on here, it seems that he is smart since he understands you, so hopefully he is just waiting to start talking until he can speak full sentences.

I found a small bottle full of black formula. It was sick. I just pitched it- no way was I washing that out.

She was slapping herself, the naughty chair, whatever. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh.

It's sort of funny, though- she knows when she's being naughty, and she'll tell you "mime out." She says it all the time now. Or if I say, "Vaylie, don't _____________ (fill in the blank)" she'll say, "mime out."

Gross on the black bottle - no way would I have washed it either!

It is so hard not to laugh at them sometimes - they are just so cute even when they are being bad! And too cute that Vaylie already says "mime out". Alex is still always in denial and starts pleading as soon as we give him a warning.

We are good. Getting ready for Izzy's 1st birthday - having the party on Sat Oct 18th -- how can she be a year already?

Welcome back Nicole! Doesn't the time just fly right by? It seems like yesterday all of our babies were tiny helpless infants and now many of them are walking and/or talking!

 

[DMickey28]

Gross on the bottles ... I have thrown out my fair share that were just too nasty to clean!!

Jen - Yes, we are feeling better. Thanks for asking. Alexander has slowed down on the diaper output but has not picked up on the peepee output so I am watching that pretty closely. As in he had a wet diaper when he woke up and a poopie diaper at lunch but that's it so far today. He is drinking and when crying has tears so I am not too woried right now. My DH is battling it a little but not as bad as the rest of us. My MIL is having a hard time recovering. She has Crohns and a bunch of gastrointestinal issues in the first place so this was super hard on her. I feel so bad, she's on our couch. I offered to fly her home so she would be more comfortable but she doesn't think she would be good on the flight and she wants to spend healthy time with Alexander. Luckily she is staying another week!!

Yeah for Christopher walking!! It's so cute watching them. I hope he starts talking soon for you. We still only say Momma, Ish and now Dada and Baba but not for the actual objects yet. At our next appointment we will do some hearing tests and set up EI. I don't think it's hearing because he understands us perfectly but maybe he can't get the pronuciation down because he says NEE for everything but it has slightly different tones to it and I wonder if maybe he could have trouble hearing the slight differences in letters or something. It's like he thinks he saying the word for tree and other things but to us he is just saying NEE all the time.

 

[beckmrk04]

So, this morning I woke up and was feeling better about the whole job thing. And I had a meeting with the lady who is going to watch Vaylie 1 or 2 days a week. And, I'm not really impressed.

I don't know what to do.

Ok, here's the deal. My sis and I went over there about 1:30 today. I had never been to their house, but it's nice, the inside is nice and clean, except for a few toys here and there (which is TOTALLY to be expected, since there are kids around). The place is baby-proofed better than my house. But, I was under the impression that the kids she had weren't all there at once, but today there were 5 (possibly 6) there when we got there- V would be #6 or 7. I don't think this is an everyday thing, but still- not what I was expecting.

She is nice enough, the kids are obviously happy enough and taken care of. The older ones were zoned out in front of the tv. And don't get me wrong, we watch tv here too, but I'm really just feeling uneasy about the lack of structure or other activities besides tv. She doesn't seem overly affectionate- kind of... not gruff, but not sweet and grandmotherly, either.

All the kids there were cute, clean, mostly boys, one girl a few months older than V. ANd V liked playing with the kids. The lady's DD is there and helps out with them- she played with the baby (7 months old and HUGE! That kid was heavier than V- I picked him up to see!!) and played referee with the others.

I think my hang-up is that it's not my ideal situation, but I'm not sure if I could find or afford my ideal situation. And I'm not used to the idea of Vaylie being one of many kids, ykwim? I'm feeling guilty about leaving her with someone else, and I haven't even told my mom yet and that's going to be a huge fight, and for several reasons New Lady would be a better situation than the one with my mom, but still- I just feel... what? Sad? Disappointed.

I am going to give New Lady a shot. It may be that my overwhelming anxiety and emotions are getting the best of me and I'm judging her too quickly. And my friend's little boy was there and she has told me she really likes New Lady and is confident that her DS is well taken care of (and I trust her opinion, even if this lady isn't right for us). I certainly don't feel like V would be in any sort of danger- it's nothing like that at all. ANd my sis agreed that while she didn't feel like it was ideal, it certainly wasn't that bad. And it's only 1 day, sometimes 2 days a week. But, I wanted someone who is excited to play with the kids and help them learn, and teach them new games and play outside, and I just don't think she's that type of lady. Still, I am going to see how it goes for a couple of weeks, and if I still feel like something isn't right, I will start a new search. I don't know who would be good enough, you know?

I feel like I have made a huge mistake with this job move and there are no take-backs, it's a done deal.

I wish I could stay home with her.

 

[beckmrk04]

Now I am researching and thinking. I am getting mad.

WHY is it so hard to find quality day care around here? And if you can find quality day care, the hours are hard to work around and it would take over half of my paycheck each week!

I want a nurturing environment with planned activities and nutritious meals. I want my kids to be able to go outside, stretch and play and run.

I'm considering some possibilities... What if I did stay home? And watched other people's kids? Hmmmm.

Will have to give it LOTS of thought. And research. I found my local state agency called Community Child Care Connection, Inc. and they have a lot of resources for people who would do in-home child care (ie- how to get started). I have some background in early childhood in college (some early ed. classes along with child and adolescent psych). I am very progressive when it comes to my child-rearing philosophies (which is different from the norm around here- I live in a very, rural area- I'm trying to say this politely). The norm around here is: feed them junk and koolaid, let them watch tv all day, then spank them when they are bad. Not my thing.

I am trying SO HARD to do my best for Vaylie. I try to set limits and discipline her with love. I try to make sure I am putting good food into her little body. I try to spend as much quality time with her as I can, since I have to work and our time is limited. I show her love and affection because I want her to know that even when I'm grumpy I still love her more than anything in the whole world.

And all I want is someone to care for her who shares my same parenting values. So, I started thinking, why not me? My job at the bank is just a job- a means to an end- something that pays the bills while we sort out what we're doing career-wise. But, childcare might be a great thing for me to do until my kids are in school. thinking, thinking.

I hope you guys don't mind me rambling...

Bethany- care to share any insight/wisdom/advice?

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

Oh Becky, it is soooo hard to find good childcare! In my early childhood classes, we used to talk about "the golden triangle" of childcare: Affordable, Available, and High Quality. Usually you can find 2 of the 3, but not all 3. The affordable and high quality centers aren't available, the affordable and available aren't high quality...etc.

I think this woman you found sounds pretty good, but if you aren't comfortable with her, then work on finding something else. But you might give her a try for a few weeks, and see how it goes. I can tell you that it's REALLY hard to do any kind of structured program with a range of ages when you are mostly by yourself with the kids. Heck, I've got a brother and sister that I'm doing after school care for right now, and they're both in K, but I STILL can't get the two of them to do anything together more than 5-10% of the time. I had visions of having each week be a different theme and doing one or two activities each afternoon around that theme, but honestly I spend most of my time trying to coach them through their disagreements with each other and trying to keep them from being too rough with Owen. Sometimes I just want to put them both in time out or stick them on the floor in front of a video so I can take 10 minutes to hold Owen without one or both of them yelling.

Anyway, don't give up on her yet, but if you really feel like it's not what you want, then don't do it. I think we all have to make the decisions that feel right for ourselves and our families, and sometimes that means making sacrifices. So here's my journey:

I am not licenced, but I've definitely thought about it. Around here to be licensed, you need to spend $500 on the application fee, participate in several hours of courses covering all the regulations (and pay for those classes), be CPR/1st aid certified (and pay for that), and have a home inspection (which means paying for all the childproofing stuff to make your home meet the standards). Since we live in a 100 yr. old house with all kinds of weird quirks, we estimated that it would cost us at least $5000 to get our house up to code for being a family day care. (Frankly, I think it would be much more than that because I think they'd make us replace the porch steps, which would mean replacing most of the porch, but that's a whole separate issue.)

Anyway, we were looking at potentially investing a minimum of $7000 into a business that would bring in at most $17-$18K a year post taxes, and more likely around $10K. So we decided that for now I'd stick with being unlicenced, and I try to keep from having too many kids, etc. etc. so I'm still within legal boundaries in my childcare. I also report all my income, and I pay all the taxes on it, which takes out a big chunk. I set aside 20% of everything I earn in a separate savings account to cover the taxes. Sometimes I don't need all that, so the extra $$ goes into my Disney fund! But it does mean keeping records of my hours and income, and giving parents receipts.

I love that I get to work from my home, have Owen with me, and that I have a lot of control over my job. I get to pick my clients, I can set my hours (to a certain extent - I do need to be sensitive to parent needs), and I have a little control over my salary. I charge less since I'm not licenced, but I can choose to raise or lower my rates when I want. It's not a big money earner, though, and even if I were licenced, around here it won't ever be. I like that I get to watch my friends' kids, and I feel like I'm partnering with them in raising their kids and helping them out.

My only problems happen when I don't agree with the parents on some issue. Like the kids I'm watching now - their parents have some pretty different discipline practices than I do, so that's been challenging trying to make it work, and part of why I had to say that I can't do this long term.

Okay, long rambling discourse on my life in childcare over ...but feel free to pm me with more questions and such.