SpaceMounatin
Just one of those Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah-Days
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2003
- Messages
- 667
Thought sonme of you will be interested in reading. Tell me what you think!
Queue Show
Upon entering into the X-S Tech Convention Center, you can watch any of a number of television monitors with up-and-coming local events. For example, a lecture about the old Disney ride "Mission to Mars: Fact or Fiction?", hosted by Mr. Tom Morrow. When the room is filled and the doors have closed, the preshow video begins.
(Triumphant music plays and we see a female alien, reputed to be played by recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Tyra Banks, standing proudly in front of a large X-S Tech sculpture. She walks toward the camera and begins.)
"Welcome to the universe of X-S. You are about to observe the latest scientific works brought to you by X-S Tech, the galaxy's leader in innovative high technology. But first, let me share with you the fascinating story of our company. We began many galactic years ago on a world quite distant from your own. From one small manufacturing plant we've grown into the largest consumer oriented research and development company in the universe. X-S Tech is number one in: Electro Robotics, Cryo Cybernetics, Techno Surveillance, Planetary Restructuring, Genetic Engineering, and Hyperspatial Transport. Here at X-S, helping others seize the future has always been our goal. It's a tradition handed down from our founders and carried on by current chairman, L.C. Clench."
(Clench is played by actor Jeffrey Jones, a.k.a. the evil principal Ed Rooney from the film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off.")
Clench: "We were, of course, extremely enthused when our market research probe discovered the Earth. A world with so many eager customers is always worth our greatest effort."
Female Alien: "And for today's demonstration, thousands of skilled X-S engineers have worked round-the-clock. We think you'll find our hard work well worth your while. After all . . ."
Clench: ". . . If something can't be done with X-S, then it shouldn't be done at all. Now, I know some critics have implied that we are interested in the Earth soundly for commercial reasons, for . . . profit. But I believe we have an important obligation to help less fortunate planets upgrade their technology, profit is simply a by product we've learned to live with. So join with me now, won't you, and together we will seize the future with . . . X-S!"
(Monitors go blank and a voice tells you to enter the next room for a demonstration. Inside the next room is a humanoid robot standing motionless between two glass capsules. The capsule to the right contains a furry, gentle-looking creature named Skippy .)
Female Alien's Voice: "And now, for the world of living life with X-S, here once again is Chairman Clench."
Clench: "By now you must be wondering how X-S Tech can help you seize the future. Well, wonder no more! Here to show you how is our most advanced cyberbotic performance unit to date."
(It should be said that S.I.R. has had two voices and two distinctly different personalities during the short time that Alien Encounter has been open. The first voice of S.I.R. (then called T.O.M. 2000) was that of longtime Saturday Night Live cast member Phil Hartman, who gave the robot a friendly, kinda goofy personality. I would assume that WDI later decided that they desired a more foreboding atmosphere, and thus re-created the character with the voice of actor Tim Curry. The new S.I.R. is indeed more menacing and even cruel to poor Skippy.)
Pre Show
S.I.R.: "Ahh, welcome, weary travelers, to the great big universe of X-S. You may call me sir. That is S-I-R, which stands for simulated intelligence robotics."
(Skippy whines to S.I.R.)
S.I.R.: "What do you want, Skippy?"
Skippy: (makes noises that sound like "I wanna go out there.")
S.I.R.: "No, you may not get out. You're our . . . lucky volunteer! Now, dear friends, you're probably asking 'What can the galaxy's leader in sophisticated technology do for me?' Well, how would you like to travel anywhere, anytime at the touch of a button? Science Fiction? NO! Behold the X-S Series 1000. The first in a complete line of personal and commercial teleportation systems, capable of sending bright-eyed biological life forms like yourselves, and even lower life forms like Skippy, from one place to another instantly. In a moment I will break down our fuzzy little friend into a mass of molecules, send those molecules through the air above your head, and reconstruct them in the tube over here, as good as new! And now, witness for yourselves, the wonders of X-S teleportation. Phase one of the process has begun: disintegration into molecular components. Don't worry, it's practically painless!"
S.I.R.: "And now to the second phase: the molecules are beamed to the receiving chamber where atom-by-atom, we construct our carefree traveler! And here's the little Skipper now! Oh shut-up, Scruffy, you're not burned. Youve just got a healthy glow! Skippy, you-you've just reminded me of a feature that I absolutely love! With the mere touch of a button, the entire process can be reversed! Bon Voyarge! And this is my favorite: it can be suspended . . . indefinitely. My dear friends, you've just witnessed a small sample of the awesome power of X-S Teleportation. But wait! There's much more! Imagine if the trip were not merely the width of this room, but the breadth of a galaxy, the span of a universe! Well, imagine no more. Because soon, one of YOU will be taking that trip. One of YOU will seize the future with X-S! Bon Voyarge!"
Main Show
(After S.I.R. finishes his demonstration, you file into one of 2 transporter rooms. There is an equally good view from each seat, but personally, I like to sit in the front row. Another fact about the actors: Dr. Feemis is played by Kathy Najimy, whom you may remember from the film Sister Act, and Spidlok is played by Kevin Pollak of The Usual Suspects. Everything up until now was just the preshow. Now the real show begins!)
Spidlok: "Ah! People of Earth, greetings to each and every one of you! I am Spidlok, X-S Management Supervisor, speaking to you live across the galaxy where we're all set for yet another spectacular demonstration! Dr. Feemis . . . "
Dr. Feemis: "Hello. Look, I don't think we should--"
Spidlok: "--We should waste another moment. I couldn't agree with you more. Ready when you are."
Dr. Feemis: "Thank-you. The analysis modules above your head will now lower into place. Please remain seated in an upright position with your arms at your sides. When the modules touch your shoulders, they will stop automatically so . . . remain seated and do not interrupt their operation."
Spidlok: "I trust you were all impressed with our earlier demonstration in which a living creature was teleported a short distance in total comfort. Now the time has come for one of you to experience something much more remarkable: a journey through interstellar space via X-S Teleportation. Dr. Feemis will now analyze your human physiology to determine which one of you is suitable for our demonstration."
Dr. Feemis: "Datalink on-line, analyzing . . . now. This one might be acceptable but we're going to have to boost the I.Q., there's a lot of--"
Spidlok: "--And we've got our lucky traveler to whisk across the galaxy. In just a moment the analysis module will rise and . . . "
Clench: "I don't care! Stand aside! Ah, Spidlok."
Spidlok: "Chairman Clench!"
Clench: "So, is everything on schedule?"
Dr. Feemis: "Well, to tell you the truth . . . "
Spidlok: "We're ahead of schedule!"
Clench: "Excellent!"
Spidlok: "Just selecting a volunteer."
Clench: "It's off."
Dr. Feemis: "Oh, good!"
Clench: "I've been seized."
Spidlok: "Something you ate, sir?"
Clench: "Seized with inspiration. A new idea."
Dr. Feemis: "Oh, terrific."
Clench: "We're live, right?"
Spidlok: "Yes, very."
Clench: "Hello, everyone. I've recalculated our plan. You see, if we bring one of you here, well, I just get to meet one of you. However, if I'm teleported to Earth, I can meet all of you! Shake each hand and personally answer all of your questions about the wonders of X-S, I'll be with you in just a moment. Prepare yourselves for an unforgettable encounter."
Spidlok: "Uh, sir! I doubt this is a good idea!"
Clench: "Ah, remember, Spidlok, doubt is the rust of a feeble mind. The only way to seize the future is to grasp the present. Let's go."
Spidlok: "Grasp the present! Yes, well. The Chairman certainly has a way with words, wouldn't you say Dr. Feemis?"
Dr. Feemis: "Grasp! Grasp, right! But first I have to totally recalibrate . . .
Clench: "Come on, seize! Grasp!"
Spidlok: "Okay, Doctor?!"
Dr. Feemis: "I am going as fast as I can!"
Clench: "Spidlok!"
Spidlok: "Yes, sir?"
Clench: "Dr. Feemis!"
Dr. Feemis: "WHAT?!"
Clench: "SPIDLOK!"
Spidlok: "Must I do everything?"
Dr. Feemis: "No! Nooo! I didn't lock the trajectory, we don't know where we're sending him!"
Spidlok: "No! No, I didn't mean it!"
Clench: "Aaaahhhhh!"
Spidlok: "Now what's happened?"
Dr. Feemis: "Another planet, in our transmission path. It must've intercepted the signal."
Spidlok: "What?!"
Dr. Feemis: "W-wait! Wait, I've got something."
Spidlok: "Well, boost the power and send him to Earth."
Dr. Feemis: "Well, what if it's not him?"
Spidlok: "Course it's him, send him to Earth! Ladies and Gentlemen, live and in person--Chairman Clench!"
Dr. Feemis: "Uh, Spidlok, since when does Clench have wings?"
Spidlok: "Wings?!"
Audience member: "It's an alien!"
Audience member 2: "It's my mother-in-law!"
Dr. Feemis: "Uh, analyzing now."
Spidlok: "Well? What is it?"
Dr. Feemis: "Okay, lets see. Ornitheus, Carnivorous . . ."
Spidlok: "Carnivorous? It eats meat?"
Dr. Feemis: "Exactly, genius. Those people are in a lot of danger."
Spidlok: "Now what's happening?"
Dr. Feemis: "The teleportation tube is starting to break!"
Spidlok: "But it's unbreakable!"
(The teleportation tube shatters, spraying glass everywhere.)
Spidlok: "It broke the tube!"
Dr. Feemis: "We cannot let it get out!"
Spidlok: "Activate the force field!"
Dr. Feemis: "Activating now."
Spidlok: "People of Earth, do not worry. As long as those beams are on the alien cannot fly out. He's out! The alien flew out! Get it back in the tube before it eats someone!"
Dr. Feemis: "I can't! We've just lost power."
Spidlok: "Well get someone in there and fix it."
Maintenance One: "Hello? Hey! Hello! Is everybody alright down there?"
Audience member 3: "No. We're just screaming for the fun of it!"
Maintenance One: "X-S lab? This is Maintenance One. We've got major damage, what's going on in here?
Spidlok: "Just a blackout. Find the auxiliary power switch."
Maintenance One: "No problem."
Dr. Feemis: "You can find it at the end of the first bridge to your left."
Maintenance One: "Roger, already there. Uh, X-S? Did you hear that?"
Spidlok: "Never mind, just find the switch."
Maintenance One: "Roger."
Dr. Feemis: "Good job. We've got the signal from your night vision camera."
(The monitors on the walls come on, showing everyone what the maintenance man is seeing.)
Spidlok: "Now show us the people down in the chamber."
Maintenance One: "Wuh, is something wrong?"
Spidlok: "No! We just need to make sure that they're alright."
Maintenance One: "No problem. Uh, folks? There's nothing to be afraid of. I'll have this puppy up and running in a flash. Now where's that hatchway?"
Dr. Feemis: "Right behind you."
Maintenance One: "Roger. I've got it. Whoa! What in the universe could've done this?"
Dr. Feemis: "Maintenance One, come in. Can you see the problem?"
Maintenance One: "I . . . see . . . the problem."
(The camera turns to show the alien standing there. Calmly, it walks up and eats the camera. Blood spurts out over the crowd.)
Spidlok: "People of Earth, quiet! Listen to me please! Don't scream! If you remain perfectly quiet it probably won't eat you! Oh no! I told you to BE QUIET!!"
Audience member 4: "Alien! Don't eat me! Eat this one!"
Dr. Feemis: "It's on! We've got power!"
Spidlok: "Good. Now how do we get it back in the tube?"
Dr. Feemis: "Leave it to me. Tube speakers activated, screaming now. AAAAIIIIIEEEE!!"
Spidlok: "It's back in the tube! Boost the power, hurry! Good work! Full power!"
Dr. Feemis: "The creature is about to explode!"
(The creature explodes, spewing vaporized alien in everybody's faces.)
Audience member 4: My mouth was open!
Spidlok: "Well, you see, there you have it. A little glitch here and there, but I think you get the idea, the potential of X-S technology. We apologize for any inconvenience but after all . . . "
Dr. Feemis: " . . . It does take time to seize the future."
Spidlok: "Yes."
Dr. Feemis: "Thank you so much for coming. Please exit out the open doors and don't forget your belongings."
Spidlok: "The ones that haven't been eaten. Good luck and have good eating."
Dr. Feemis: "Thank you."
Queue Show
Upon entering into the X-S Tech Convention Center, you can watch any of a number of television monitors with up-and-coming local events. For example, a lecture about the old Disney ride "Mission to Mars: Fact or Fiction?", hosted by Mr. Tom Morrow. When the room is filled and the doors have closed, the preshow video begins.
(Triumphant music plays and we see a female alien, reputed to be played by recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Tyra Banks, standing proudly in front of a large X-S Tech sculpture. She walks toward the camera and begins.)
"Welcome to the universe of X-S. You are about to observe the latest scientific works brought to you by X-S Tech, the galaxy's leader in innovative high technology. But first, let me share with you the fascinating story of our company. We began many galactic years ago on a world quite distant from your own. From one small manufacturing plant we've grown into the largest consumer oriented research and development company in the universe. X-S Tech is number one in: Electro Robotics, Cryo Cybernetics, Techno Surveillance, Planetary Restructuring, Genetic Engineering, and Hyperspatial Transport. Here at X-S, helping others seize the future has always been our goal. It's a tradition handed down from our founders and carried on by current chairman, L.C. Clench."
(Clench is played by actor Jeffrey Jones, a.k.a. the evil principal Ed Rooney from the film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off.")
Clench: "We were, of course, extremely enthused when our market research probe discovered the Earth. A world with so many eager customers is always worth our greatest effort."
Female Alien: "And for today's demonstration, thousands of skilled X-S engineers have worked round-the-clock. We think you'll find our hard work well worth your while. After all . . ."
Clench: ". . . If something can't be done with X-S, then it shouldn't be done at all. Now, I know some critics have implied that we are interested in the Earth soundly for commercial reasons, for . . . profit. But I believe we have an important obligation to help less fortunate planets upgrade their technology, profit is simply a by product we've learned to live with. So join with me now, won't you, and together we will seize the future with . . . X-S!"
(Monitors go blank and a voice tells you to enter the next room for a demonstration. Inside the next room is a humanoid robot standing motionless between two glass capsules. The capsule to the right contains a furry, gentle-looking creature named Skippy .)
Female Alien's Voice: "And now, for the world of living life with X-S, here once again is Chairman Clench."
Clench: "By now you must be wondering how X-S Tech can help you seize the future. Well, wonder no more! Here to show you how is our most advanced cyberbotic performance unit to date."
(It should be said that S.I.R. has had two voices and two distinctly different personalities during the short time that Alien Encounter has been open. The first voice of S.I.R. (then called T.O.M. 2000) was that of longtime Saturday Night Live cast member Phil Hartman, who gave the robot a friendly, kinda goofy personality. I would assume that WDI later decided that they desired a more foreboding atmosphere, and thus re-created the character with the voice of actor Tim Curry. The new S.I.R. is indeed more menacing and even cruel to poor Skippy.)
Pre Show
S.I.R.: "Ahh, welcome, weary travelers, to the great big universe of X-S. You may call me sir. That is S-I-R, which stands for simulated intelligence robotics."
(Skippy whines to S.I.R.)
S.I.R.: "What do you want, Skippy?"
Skippy: (makes noises that sound like "I wanna go out there.")
S.I.R.: "No, you may not get out. You're our . . . lucky volunteer! Now, dear friends, you're probably asking 'What can the galaxy's leader in sophisticated technology do for me?' Well, how would you like to travel anywhere, anytime at the touch of a button? Science Fiction? NO! Behold the X-S Series 1000. The first in a complete line of personal and commercial teleportation systems, capable of sending bright-eyed biological life forms like yourselves, and even lower life forms like Skippy, from one place to another instantly. In a moment I will break down our fuzzy little friend into a mass of molecules, send those molecules through the air above your head, and reconstruct them in the tube over here, as good as new! And now, witness for yourselves, the wonders of X-S teleportation. Phase one of the process has begun: disintegration into molecular components. Don't worry, it's practically painless!"
S.I.R.: "And now to the second phase: the molecules are beamed to the receiving chamber where atom-by-atom, we construct our carefree traveler! And here's the little Skipper now! Oh shut-up, Scruffy, you're not burned. Youve just got a healthy glow! Skippy, you-you've just reminded me of a feature that I absolutely love! With the mere touch of a button, the entire process can be reversed! Bon Voyarge! And this is my favorite: it can be suspended . . . indefinitely. My dear friends, you've just witnessed a small sample of the awesome power of X-S Teleportation. But wait! There's much more! Imagine if the trip were not merely the width of this room, but the breadth of a galaxy, the span of a universe! Well, imagine no more. Because soon, one of YOU will be taking that trip. One of YOU will seize the future with X-S! Bon Voyarge!"
Main Show
(After S.I.R. finishes his demonstration, you file into one of 2 transporter rooms. There is an equally good view from each seat, but personally, I like to sit in the front row. Another fact about the actors: Dr. Feemis is played by Kathy Najimy, whom you may remember from the film Sister Act, and Spidlok is played by Kevin Pollak of The Usual Suspects. Everything up until now was just the preshow. Now the real show begins!)
Spidlok: "Ah! People of Earth, greetings to each and every one of you! I am Spidlok, X-S Management Supervisor, speaking to you live across the galaxy where we're all set for yet another spectacular demonstration! Dr. Feemis . . . "
Dr. Feemis: "Hello. Look, I don't think we should--"
Spidlok: "--We should waste another moment. I couldn't agree with you more. Ready when you are."
Dr. Feemis: "Thank-you. The analysis modules above your head will now lower into place. Please remain seated in an upright position with your arms at your sides. When the modules touch your shoulders, they will stop automatically so . . . remain seated and do not interrupt their operation."
Spidlok: "I trust you were all impressed with our earlier demonstration in which a living creature was teleported a short distance in total comfort. Now the time has come for one of you to experience something much more remarkable: a journey through interstellar space via X-S Teleportation. Dr. Feemis will now analyze your human physiology to determine which one of you is suitable for our demonstration."
Dr. Feemis: "Datalink on-line, analyzing . . . now. This one might be acceptable but we're going to have to boost the I.Q., there's a lot of--"
Spidlok: "--And we've got our lucky traveler to whisk across the galaxy. In just a moment the analysis module will rise and . . . "
Clench: "I don't care! Stand aside! Ah, Spidlok."
Spidlok: "Chairman Clench!"
Clench: "So, is everything on schedule?"
Dr. Feemis: "Well, to tell you the truth . . . "
Spidlok: "We're ahead of schedule!"
Clench: "Excellent!"
Spidlok: "Just selecting a volunteer."
Clench: "It's off."
Dr. Feemis: "Oh, good!"
Clench: "I've been seized."
Spidlok: "Something you ate, sir?"
Clench: "Seized with inspiration. A new idea."
Dr. Feemis: "Oh, terrific."
Clench: "We're live, right?"
Spidlok: "Yes, very."
Clench: "Hello, everyone. I've recalculated our plan. You see, if we bring one of you here, well, I just get to meet one of you. However, if I'm teleported to Earth, I can meet all of you! Shake each hand and personally answer all of your questions about the wonders of X-S, I'll be with you in just a moment. Prepare yourselves for an unforgettable encounter."
Spidlok: "Uh, sir! I doubt this is a good idea!"
Clench: "Ah, remember, Spidlok, doubt is the rust of a feeble mind. The only way to seize the future is to grasp the present. Let's go."
Spidlok: "Grasp the present! Yes, well. The Chairman certainly has a way with words, wouldn't you say Dr. Feemis?"
Dr. Feemis: "Grasp! Grasp, right! But first I have to totally recalibrate . . .
Clench: "Come on, seize! Grasp!"
Spidlok: "Okay, Doctor?!"
Dr. Feemis: "I am going as fast as I can!"
Clench: "Spidlok!"
Spidlok: "Yes, sir?"
Clench: "Dr. Feemis!"
Dr. Feemis: "WHAT?!"
Clench: "SPIDLOK!"
Spidlok: "Must I do everything?"
Dr. Feemis: "No! Nooo! I didn't lock the trajectory, we don't know where we're sending him!"
Spidlok: "No! No, I didn't mean it!"
Clench: "Aaaahhhhh!"
Spidlok: "Now what's happened?"
Dr. Feemis: "Another planet, in our transmission path. It must've intercepted the signal."
Spidlok: "What?!"
Dr. Feemis: "W-wait! Wait, I've got something."
Spidlok: "Well, boost the power and send him to Earth."
Dr. Feemis: "Well, what if it's not him?"
Spidlok: "Course it's him, send him to Earth! Ladies and Gentlemen, live and in person--Chairman Clench!"
Dr. Feemis: "Uh, Spidlok, since when does Clench have wings?"
Spidlok: "Wings?!"
Audience member: "It's an alien!"
Audience member 2: "It's my mother-in-law!"
Dr. Feemis: "Uh, analyzing now."
Spidlok: "Well? What is it?"
Dr. Feemis: "Okay, lets see. Ornitheus, Carnivorous . . ."
Spidlok: "Carnivorous? It eats meat?"
Dr. Feemis: "Exactly, genius. Those people are in a lot of danger."
Spidlok: "Now what's happening?"
Dr. Feemis: "The teleportation tube is starting to break!"
Spidlok: "But it's unbreakable!"
(The teleportation tube shatters, spraying glass everywhere.)
Spidlok: "It broke the tube!"
Dr. Feemis: "We cannot let it get out!"
Spidlok: "Activate the force field!"
Dr. Feemis: "Activating now."
Spidlok: "People of Earth, do not worry. As long as those beams are on the alien cannot fly out. He's out! The alien flew out! Get it back in the tube before it eats someone!"
Dr. Feemis: "I can't! We've just lost power."
Spidlok: "Well get someone in there and fix it."
Maintenance One: "Hello? Hey! Hello! Is everybody alright down there?"
Audience member 3: "No. We're just screaming for the fun of it!"
Maintenance One: "X-S lab? This is Maintenance One. We've got major damage, what's going on in here?
Spidlok: "Just a blackout. Find the auxiliary power switch."
Maintenance One: "No problem."
Dr. Feemis: "You can find it at the end of the first bridge to your left."
Maintenance One: "Roger, already there. Uh, X-S? Did you hear that?"
Spidlok: "Never mind, just find the switch."
Maintenance One: "Roger."
Dr. Feemis: "Good job. We've got the signal from your night vision camera."
(The monitors on the walls come on, showing everyone what the maintenance man is seeing.)
Spidlok: "Now show us the people down in the chamber."
Maintenance One: "Wuh, is something wrong?"
Spidlok: "No! We just need to make sure that they're alright."
Maintenance One: "No problem. Uh, folks? There's nothing to be afraid of. I'll have this puppy up and running in a flash. Now where's that hatchway?"
Dr. Feemis: "Right behind you."
Maintenance One: "Roger. I've got it. Whoa! What in the universe could've done this?"
Dr. Feemis: "Maintenance One, come in. Can you see the problem?"
Maintenance One: "I . . . see . . . the problem."
(The camera turns to show the alien standing there. Calmly, it walks up and eats the camera. Blood spurts out over the crowd.)
Spidlok: "People of Earth, quiet! Listen to me please! Don't scream! If you remain perfectly quiet it probably won't eat you! Oh no! I told you to BE QUIET!!"
Audience member 4: "Alien! Don't eat me! Eat this one!"
Dr. Feemis: "It's on! We've got power!"
Spidlok: "Good. Now how do we get it back in the tube?"
Dr. Feemis: "Leave it to me. Tube speakers activated, screaming now. AAAAIIIIIEEEE!!"
Spidlok: "It's back in the tube! Boost the power, hurry! Good work! Full power!"
Dr. Feemis: "The creature is about to explode!"
(The creature explodes, spewing vaporized alien in everybody's faces.)
Audience member 4: My mouth was open!
Spidlok: "Well, you see, there you have it. A little glitch here and there, but I think you get the idea, the potential of X-S technology. We apologize for any inconvenience but after all . . . "
Dr. Feemis: " . . . It does take time to seize the future."
Spidlok: "Yes."
Dr. Feemis: "Thank you so much for coming. Please exit out the open doors and don't forget your belongings."
Spidlok: "The ones that haven't been eaten. Good luck and have good eating."
Dr. Feemis: "Thank you."
" to a fellow Staten Islander. 
Alien Encounter 
