The boy who called DS a "loser", is now threatening to beat him up!*update, pg 2*

[roliepolieoliefan]

I posted on here a few days ago that there was a boy a couple years older than DS calling him and alot of other kids on the school bus, "loser", plus a few choice other words.

DS comes home yesterday and tells me now this boy, looks at him as he's getting off the bus and says, I'm going to beat you up.

We live in a small town, so I have the bus drivers home number. I call him. He proceeds to tell me he has had problems with this child now for 2 years. Swearing, yelling, oh he also told me the boy was making his finger look like a gun and pretending to shoot the kids on the bus. He has written this child up who is in 3rd grade BTW, and told the school principal many times about his behavior.

The bus driver got a note from the principal yesterday, telling this bus driver, this child has ADD, so don't discipline him, just reward him for being good.

Now I'm fuming. He threatens my child and he isn't supposed to be disciplined. The "trouble Maker" has an older brother who when he really acts up, the bus driver makes them sit together, then he semi-behaves. But they were sitting together yesterday when he threatened my son. Oh and another thing, this principal also told the bus driver , are you sure this child is doing all the things you say, because I asked him and he said he isn't.
Can you believe that????

I'm waiting until about 9:30 this morning and calling the school to talk to the principal. I am so mad right now. Oh and too my son doesn't go to this elementary school, he goes to the Catholic school but must ride this bus to get to his school. Thanks for listening.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

The bus driver got a note from the principal yesterday, telling this bus driver, this child has ADD, so don't discipline him, just reward him for being good.

That's the biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life.

 

[beautybelle]

If it were me I would definatly call the principal first off and then I would do my loving best to try to find alternate transportation for my son. That is just awful, Im sorry you are going through this. I took my son out of public school for this same reason, on top of others. Good Luck.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Good Luck with everything.

 

[VSL]

That's the biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life.

I'd be

 

[Southern4sure]

I would talk with both school principals and demand something to be done and have them talk with each other too. Even though your son does not go to the same school as this bully, both principals must look into this and take measures to ensure all kids are safe on the bus. Can the bus drive have assigned seats? Can the bully set directly behind the driver on the bus? I feel something can be done.

Stand your ground. Tell the principal what you want and what is best of your child.

 

[disney junky]

What the driver says is true. There's nothing that can be done. If he's labeled, you just have to deal with it. Until the laws change that protect and label misbehavior as learning disorders, we all are left to deal with these situations. As was posted on another thread, even if he beat up your child, the label will and keep him from facing a severe punishment, suspension or expulsion, as a non labeled child would. Usually the maximum is 10 days per year. Any school that tries will have advocates and their lawyers filing suit after suit to make sure this kid's rights are protected. Then he'll continue to do the same things because he gets away with it. The school might consider an alternative program, but I doubt that it exists for an elementary age child. People come on these threads and want to blast the teachers, bus drivers, principals, and anyone else in their line of fire, but unfortunately it's the lawmakers who have created this scenerio. Last year I had two students (seniors) who were involved in an attempted murder over the weekend. (the attempted murder charges were eventually dropped and replaced with aggravated assault-othe main culprit, who was in our school's alternative program, has just been sentenced to 1-3 years). They were in school that Monday-if they aren't, they are in violation of their probation. Can't deprive them of an education. That's why we have probation officers and police in the schools. I can't offer you any advice other than going on record, which you seem to have done. These situations are an unfortunate reality of the system that has been created. Demanding something will be done is like demanding is stop raining. It will just frustrate you more. And heaven help the bus driver, teacher, principal, lunch lady, aid or other school authority who touches this kid...kiss the job goodbye.......

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I would do several things.

I would call the principals of both schools and inform them that something needs to be done about this child and his threatening behavior. I would call my local police department and tell them about this child and his threatening behavior. I would call an attorney who specializes in the area of disability law and find out if there really is nothing that can be done about this child.

The schools are running scared because this child is labeled as "disabled" and perhaps he is, but if he is becoming a danger to other children, disabled or not, it must be dealt with. They are doing no one a favor...neither this child nor any other child...by having him in an educational environment that is unsuitable for him, his level of behavior or his behavioral issues. They don't want to get sued. I would make it abundantly clear that if anything happened to my child as a result of a lack of action on their part regarding this child, they would be sued by me. This child's rights should not supercede your child's rights.

I have read many of the recent school-related issues people are having, and I am appalled at the lack of common sense exhibited by our educational leaders when it comes to handling children.

I would also do a search on "ducklite" and their posts her on the DIS. There is some very good information as to how to deal with a school administration to a successful outcome.

 

[Puffy2]

Your choices are either to deal with this or come up with alternative transportation for your son (also, does this kid live in the same neighborhood as you? If so, you should be visiting the child's parents)

If the kid isn't a neighborhood kid and the only threat issue is "on the bus" then make an appointment with the prinicpal of the school and go talk this over. At the very least, the other child's parents should be notified.

Remember, you are teaching your son how to handle "problems" so whatever you do is an example to him.

 

[FergieTCat]

Call school administration, tell them what happened, and inform them that if this kid lays one hand on your child, they'll be seeing you in court.

I have zero tolerance for this. Where are these kids' parents?

 

[disney junky]

Well, I would do several things.

I would call the principals of both schools and inform them that something needs to be done about this child and his threatening behavior. I would call my local police department and tell them about this child and his threatening behavior. I would call an attorney who specializes in the area of disability law and find out if there really is nothing that can be done about this child.

The schools are running scared because this child is labeled as "disabled" and perhaps he is, but if he is becoming a danger to other children, disabled or not, it must be dealt with. They are doing no one a favor...neither this child nor any other child...by having him in an educational environment that is unsuitable for him, his level of behavior or his behavioral issues. They don't want to get sued. I would make it abundantly clear that if anything happened to my child as a result of a lack of action on their part regarding this child, they would be sued by me. This child's rights should not supercede your child's rights.

I have read many of the recent school-related issues people are having, and I am appalled at the lack of common sense exhibited by our educational leaders when it comes to handling children.

I would also do a search on "ducklite" and their posts her on the DIS. There is some very good information as to how to deal with a school administration to a successful outcome.

This isn't a common sense issue. And it's not being afraid of being sued. It's knowing you will be sued. By the lawyers, parents and advocates of the labeled kid. Their rights are not like a non labeled kid's rights. Let's just supposed, for example, that this kid is placed in a "suitable educational environment," one that is 50 miles from his home school, and let's suppose that this child needs an instructional aid, one that follows him around all day, sits with him in all his classes, and makes sure he gets his work done (an aid is not really supposed to discipline a child-that's the teacher's job), guess who pays. The home school taxpayers. So here on the DIS, it's easy to say call a lawyer or call the local police, but in the real world, is the lawyer going to take seriously a call about an elementary age student who called another a loser and then threatened to beat him up. Likewise with the local police. Sorry but I don't think the reality is that anything would be done. IMHO

 

[Hannathy]

Good luck, I feel for you especially once I heard he was Labeled. The schools are so afraid to do anything to these kids 'cause their parents are such pains that the kids get away with murder. My DD had a girl in her class with anger problems and would hit kick and throw things at the other kids. The school told them they were to accept it and not do anything back to her. This was 4th gr. I told my DD that if she was trying to hit or kick her she was to defend herself and I would deal with her teacher. Can you believe this! The girl did this all year and never got in trouble. I'm sorry but I worked in Spec Ed years ago when we expected them to follow rules and I just don't understand this philosophy of allowing them to get away with this stuff. I would tell my son to try to ignore him if it was verbal and sadly no one was teaching him to be a good person, but I would also tell him if the kid kicks him to go ahead and block it and defend himself.

 

[disallday!]

to your son! Unfortunately, this is something I have to deal with from time to time with my son!


WHY DO KIDS AND ADULTS HAVE TO BE SO MEAN!

I just take comfort in believing:

What comes around, goes around! Karma!

 

[disallday!]

P. S. ADD does not excuse this! My child has ADD and is one of the sweetest kids around! I have ADD and I never as a child (or adult) acted like this!

 

[VSL]

P. S. ADD does not excuse this! My child has ADD and is one of the sweetest kids around! I have ADD and I never as a child (or adult) acted like this!

Yeah, ADD does not = mean/nasty personality/behaviour.

ADD children may misbehave (due to lack of attention span!), but ADD children who are mean and nasty would be mean and nasty anyway... I presume.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I am so sorry!

A few weeks ago we were having problems with a boy at school threatening DS9. Our attorney said if the school didn't take action that we would file an injunction in the courts AND alert the media that we were doing it so the school district would look bad for not doing anything.

I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that an ADHD diagnosis is a license to bully and threaten without repercussions. But I could be wrong - our bully is just a plain bully who tried to say he HAD to threaten DS because DS was talking trash about the bully's family. Right.

 

[disallday!]

I wish I could protect all children from evil things! It really is ashame!

Hugs to all children!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

If your town is small, do you know the parents? It could be one of two ways. One, they could be parents who enable the kid to act this way because of the ADD diagnosis (it's easier than real parenting) or two, they could be shocked that he is acting this way and deal with it at home.
As a teacher, I wonder how many diagnoses of ADHD or ADD are really just behavior problems that are diagnosed this way because parents can't handle it. I know not all of them--no flames--but I imagine some of these kids are just bullies or pains in the rear and diagnosing them leads to special support from the school (or, a total lack of discipline for fear of a lawsuit) or even access to medication.
I had a 9th grader who would say he didn't do his homework because he was ADD. I still failed him. Nothing in his IEP exempted him from homework!
Robin M.

 

[CEDmom]

I would be upset about this as well. I think your real advocate will be the principal at your DS's school. I'd let them know what's going on and you better believe they'll take action.

I went to a private school and rode the bus with kids from lots of other private schools in our area. A group of boys were terrorizing some of the younger kids on the bus. The bus driver didn't do anything. I told my Headmistress who immediately got on the phone with the trouble makers principal and the matter was dealt with immediately. The boys were put behind the bus driver (a new one) and if they so much as turned around he was all over them.

Good luck. You shouldn't have to find another way for your DS to get to school. You're paying taxes and that's what pays for his transportation. If this other kid can't behave they'll have to send a special bus for him.

 

[ducklite]

There's some really bad advice going on around here. First, let me state I'm not a lawyer. But I have had extensive personal experience with IDEA, which is also known as P.L. 94-142, and "The Blue Book". This is the set of Federal Laws which govern the education of classified children. (Not all ADD kids are classified either!)

If the child is not classified, than the district needs to mete out the same behaviour and academic standards for the child as they would for any other child.

If the child is classified, they must be placed in the least restrictive environment. Go read JennyMom's thread if you want an explanation of that, I'm not retyping it all. The classified child can be "punished" in a variety of ways, including suspension for up to ten days in a school calendar year.

If behaviour standards can't be met in the current placement, then a more restrictive placement must be sought.

This child is being allowed to run rampant due to ADD. Well woop de doo Basil--my son has a lot worse ED than that, and was quite able to control himself on the bus, and now holds a job he loves in the private sector. Not providing a behaviour modification program that requires adherence to rules that are for the safety and well being of everybody is doing a serious diservice to this kid.

Forget the principals they are useless in cases like this. Take it directly to the superintendent of schools and make a written demand that the harrassment and threats be terminated immediately. You want to get an action plan in writing, if they won't give it to you, go to the school board, and then the State DoE. You can also call children's services and the police if this kid continues to harrass and threaten your child.

One thing the district can do is provide an aide or bus monitor. The driver needs to drive, not babysit.

Anne