The Bloat and Float 06 Cruise Report: Now The Truth Comes Out!

[FatherForce]

The Bloat and Float 06 Trip Report
Version 2.0 – The Cruise.


Prologue

Fade in to a soft focused scene of a couple sitting on a bench outside of the Grand Floridian on a crisp November afternoon in 1997. They are reflecting on a romantic 3 day getaway, waiting for a shuttle to take them to the airport and back to a dreary Indiana fall.

As they wait a bus pulls by and into the GF convention center parking lot.
It was a Disney bus, but it was unlike any Disney bus these seasoned WDW vets had ever seen. It had a unique, classic look and soon it became apparent: This was a Disney Cruise Line Bus!

The DCL was not even sailing yet, but the bus was there for a media event.

The woman, glowing with love and affection for the man of her dreams that she held fast by the arm, immediately began incessantly nagging him to take her on a cruise.

Fast forward to the winter of 2006. The couple now had a six year old girl and a 24 year old in college. They had been to WDW 4 times since that afternoon and DisneyLAND twice, yet in spite of nearly daily reminding/badgering of her husband that she wanted to go on a Disney Cruise, she still had not set foot on the sandy beaches of Castaway Cay or drank rum infused fruit juice while dancing with Mickey Mouse with the ocean breeze in her hair.

It’s not that her handsome and virile husband did not want to take her on a cruise. He patiently and wisely explained the problems with expense and timing. He gently argued that their precious six year old wanted to go to Disney World not cruise. He brought up the expense again.
And again.
Plus, he just thought it would be boring.

The phone rang. It was his Mother. She and her husband wanted to take him and his family to WDW at the end of September. They’d pay for the room at the Wilderness Lodge and park tickets. All he had to pay for was transportation. “Great!” he enthused. There was just one catch. They were taking ALL of his family and his Stepfather’s family too. Almost 20 people. None of whom get along amazingly well.

He imparted the offer to his beautiful wife and adoring child.
The squeals of delight from his daughter were contrasted with the stony silence from his wife.

She had waited for this moment for nine years. She steeled her resolve, squared her shoulders to her husband, and definitely announced:

“If I’m going to Disney World with your entire family, YOU are taking me on a Disney Cruise immediately after!”

He had no way out. The money was saved for this year’s WDW trip.
She knew that.
There was no argument he could immediately retrieve from his MENSA-certified intellect to counter her brilliant assault.

He agreed.

The man set about researching the DCL, and the woman basked in her triumph.

She would finally get to go on a Disney Cruise.

The first chapter of our 3 Day Wonder Cruise from 9/28 to 10/1 06 begins tomorrow.
In the meantime, feel free to check out the WDW portion of our trip at http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1241106.

 

[wendygirl]

I feel for you - your gonna need to cruise after "extended-family time" - don't walk! run to the bus! magic awaits ....

 

[sleepydog25]

I wate with baited breath. . .or is it "I wait with bated breath?" Either way, the prologue was an excellent introduction and dovetails nicely with the landlubber's portion of your turf and surf trip. Eagerly anticipating more, even if reading yours will delay mine. . .

 

[tamim]

Fantastic start! I too wait with baited breath for the trip report....

 

[DisneyZell]

I wate with baited breath. . .or is it "I wait with bated breath?" Either way, the prologue was an excellent introduction and dovetails nicely with the landlubber's portion of your turf and surf trip. Eagerly anticipating more, even if reading yours will delay mine. . .

Delays on other trip reports cannot be blamed by time spent reviewing the work of others!!!

 

[wendygirl]

 

[E&BMom]

Can't wait to hear more!!!!!!

 

[wendygirl]

but i don't wanna bloat while i float

stupid brown salty water sorry, my momma said stupid is a bad word

lets see ... ... 7 days times 8 bottles of water (evian, yuck!) per day @ $35.00 per case of 24 = $95!!!!! just for me .... my daughter will just have to bloat ...

same 3 cases would be $18 if smuggled in!

ok

i will bloat while i float or

smuggle!

hey, they are the ones who told us to be pirates ... are you a good pirate?

 

[JDBlair]

Kudos to your wife for being quick on her feet! Can't wait to read the rest of your trip!

 

[ColoradoMom!!]

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry oh virile one.

 

[wendygirl]

i need to know what happened! (on the outside) (on the inside)

 

[itgirl1002]

The first chapter of our 3 Day Wonder Cruise from 9/28 to 10/1 06 begins tomorrow. In the meantime, feel free to check out the WDW portion of our trip at

It's tomorrow!

Subscribing to your TR.

 

[wendygirl]

Q7 days times 8 bottles of water (evian, yuck!) per day @ $35.00 per case of 24 = $95!!!!!

it's hard to add correctly when your

 

[FatherForce]

The Bloat and Float 06 Trip Report
Version 2.0 – The Cruise.



The Cast
Me Dad/Husband/Raconteur
Cheryll Mom/Wife
Samantha 7 yr old Center of the Known Universe



This report now picks up where our WDW TR left off.
You can catch up if you dare at: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1241106


Chapter 1

Six AM is early.
I realize this is not a deep observation, yet that was my first thought when I opened my eyes just before Mickey called to get us out of bed.
When the curtains are closed in a WL room and the lights are out, it is also DARK at 6AM.
I confirmed this by stubbing my toe on the chair on the way to bathroom.
I did not quietly get ready this morning as it was time to get up, get Justin to the airport and drive to Port Canaveral.
As I went down one last time to the Roaring Forks to get breakfast, a tried to soak in as much of the WL as I could. It really is a beautiful and relaxing resort.
The AKL is still our favorite, but the WL rates highly indeed.

One last time, I was asked by a guest where I got our mugs.
I patiently explained that I got them right here, at the RF.
“How much did it cost”?
“Only $7.99”
“Oh my gosh! It’s bigger than the ones they’re selling for $11.99. How can I get one?”
“Well, first you need to get at least a graduate degree in quantum physics. Once that’s accomplished, build a time travel device that can transport you back here in 1995. Don’t forget to stand right here, because the RF has been remodeled and you might wind up being transported inside a wall. Oh, don’t forget NOT to use too recent of currency since most bills have been upgraded since 1995. I wouldn’t want you to have gone to all of that trouble and then get arrested for counterfeiting. “

I’m a bit of a smart*ss when I haven’t had my coffee.

Back in the room, Cheryll is up, and Samantha is stirring.
Justin hasn’t moved.

We were all packed except for pajamas and toiletries.
We had our carry-ons ready too for the ship, and I packed my “MEDIA” case with camera’s, batteries, chargers, cell phones, etc.
Cheryll had laid out our matching “Mickey” Blues clothes she bought form the Disney catalog some years ago. After I changed, Justin finally stirred. He looked down from the top bunk and groggily pronounced me a “dork”.
Guilty.
Cheryll had also bought matching blue visors, but that’s where I as the MAN put my sizable foot down.
I’ll wear the matching Mickey Mouse clothes, but I won’t look the fool with a blue visor.
There has to be a line in the sand that will not be crossed.
Just ask Geraldo.

We had filled a huge bag with stuff for Mom and Steve to take back home with them. Most of it was toys and stuffed animals Sam had purchased on the trip, she was fretting about not taking her new stuff with her on the boat. I assured her that there would be more opportunities for frivolous purchases once onboard.

I got out my leather-bound Passporter, triple checked documents, and handed Cheryll and Samantha their glow-in-the-dark green bracelets that Fallon had so graciously purchased so the DISers could recognize each other.

“Dork”
Thank you Justin.
Thank you very much.

I had spent the better part of 4 months planning and researching this 3 day cruise. I spent most of it here at the DIS Boards and had virtually met up other equally obsessed types who would be cruising with us. We planned on meeting and had the green wrist bands as a beacon of recognition. I honestly can say I looked forward to putting faces with the names.

I felt remarkably informed and prepared. Between the Passporter and the DIS Boards, I was sure there was nothing I did not know. Plus we’d TiVo’d the Travel Channel special and had 2 copies of the DCL video. I’d read the trip reports. I’d followed many threads of interest. I had a plan!

We said our goodbyes to the family and pulled Justin out of the top bunk to get him to the airport.

I stopped and got some cash for onboard tips from the lobby before we left, and we were on our way!

I didn’t want to seem too excited about leaving for the cruise yet because Justin wasn’t going with us. He had to get back to class. So we drove uneventfully to the airport, went in with him to make sure his flight was still scheduled. (With AirTran that is not always a given). Hugs and a few motherly and sisterly tears were exchanged. He was great on this trip, and I dare say he’s become a man.

Now, as we left the airport’s garage, the excitement level in the car began to rise exponentially. We’ve been to WDW lots, but this was something NEW!
Even though Sam was very tired from getting up too early, she was bouncing up and down. Cheryll was giddy, and I, the guy who had to be virtually FORCED into this trip, could hardly contain myself.

The drive to Port Canaveral from the airport is quick and efficient. Being from Indiana, I love seeing palm trees, and there were more and more visible the closer we got to the Port. After about a half hour, we started seeing signs for Port Canaveral and about 10 minutes later, over a bridge, in the distance, we saw Her.

The Wonder.

Collective gasps and “Wow”s echoed in the rented Ford Taurus.
We pulled up without problems and there was the HUGE object of our desire.
Everyone who writes a TR mentions the majesty of seeing the ship for the first time, and now I know why.
Ever see the Simpson’s episode from the first season where Albert Brooks plays a RV salesman explaining the top-of-the-line model to Homer? Well the first thing out of my mouth was a paraphrase in an awestruck tone, “See that? Men built that. It’s a sea-going vessel!”
(It’s actually quite amazing how many of my commonly used phrases or exclamations are Simpson-based. I have a window cling on my car with a paraphrase of my favorite, but I can’t tell you what it is. I’m keeping this report apolitical. At least that’s the plan now. I doubt that will last though. )

I had planned on going down the road and getting some bottled water and alcohol to pack in our suitcase to save some $ on the cruise. However, I was not in charge of the packing, and there was ABSOLUTELY no room in any bag we had for anything else.
Ah, no problem. We didn’t spend as much in WDW as we budgeted, so let’s live a little.

I pulled up beside the terminal where all the other luggage was stacked up. I was sure I had to go through some kind of check in process, but hey, look at all this luggage on the curb. I unloaded the bags and then it dawned on me: it was 9:30am and these bags were for people DEPARTING!

Now, if you’ve been reading Sleepydog’s TR (And I’m sure that you have. He’s a better writer and looks better in toenail polish), you know he did the exact same thing. Here’s where we differ though. I played it off as if it was my plan!
I spoke to a porter and found exactly where the luggage would be loaded in at, moved ours to outside the gate, and had Cheryll and Sam wait with it while I parked the car! They were even happy to do so since it was a nice morning, and they were staring at the ship
Genius! (Your wife may be a M.D. Sleepy, but mine doesn’t mind standing with luggage!)

Now, even though I knew where we needed to park, and I knew that the gates would be opening in about 15 minutes, I asked the guy who seemed to be I charge exactly what the procedure was. He began a 5 minute presentation on just where to turn around, how to signal into traffic lanes, where I should enter AND exit, how fast to drive, exact longitude and latitude of my destination as well as the circumference of the 180 degree turn I would be making in the parking lot. I was expecting the PowerPoint presentation to start any moment.
He saw the glazed look in my eye and said, “Just drive up here and pick me up and I’ll
Walk you through it.”
Huh?
Something in my brain said this was a bit squirrelly.
I did as asked though, and he got in. I drove up 50 feet, turned, drove 75 feet, turned into the lot, and he showed me where I’d wait to cross the street in 5 minutes. As I drove him back the 50 feet, he explained he just wanted to get off his feet. He didn’t really need to do this.
“No Sh*t,” I crudely thought to myself.
Anyway, I tipped him and thanked my stars that I wasn’t abducted by some crazed traffic officer impersonator who was looking for just this opportunity!
Cheryll gave me the “What The?” gesture and I gave her the “Call Me” sign as I drove back to the waiting lot. We then talked for on our cell phones even though we were 75 feet apart.
Gotta love the Modern World.
She then said, “Hey! We’re being let in.”

Yep, she and Sam got to enter the terminal. They took our luggage, as I waited for the parking lot to open. It did almost immediately. (I was 2nd in line). I drove through and the porters were very depressed that I already had my luggage taken care of because that means they weren’t tipped.

I crossed the street again and parked very near the recommended white awning.
I grabbed my “media” bag and crossed the street.
Man, that bag was heavy.

As I approached the terminal, all the security folks ushered me on saying, “Your family are already inside,” with wry smiles on their faces. My matching Mickey clothes were causing a bit of twitter. Even the nice CM who handed me my coveted #2 Boarding Pass smiled and told me my wife and daughter were already upstairs. She then suppressed a chuckle.

Ah, I’m on vacation. I’m supposed to look like a goob.

Well, now we had an hour before loading began.


We checked out the Magic Model then got in line to check in.

Waiting in line about 6 deep, I mentioned to Cheryll that we should look for others with the green wristbands. With that the couple in front of us revealed themselves to be Doc and Sleepydog. MomSully and her family and friends were directly in front of them!

We had a mini-DIS Meet right there. I felt fortunate that the folks I had been chatting with seemed so nice and cordial. MomSully had kids my daughter’s age, and Doc and Dog (which I began calling them in private) were going to be doing some of the ‘adult” stuff Cheryll and I had planned.

Cool.
We already felt comfortable.

Check in was a breeze thanks to the online check in, and we then headed over to register Sam for the Oceaneer’s Club.

We waited.
More and more folks began to stream in the terminal.
I saw #3 and #6 boarding passes.
HA! We were #2!
More waiting.
Sam and I watched them load The Wonder with stuff from outside on the deck until 3 groups of smokers ran us back inside.

Minnie came out to pose and begin prying $ out of us with a photographer.

A line began to form at the entrance. No announcements had been made had they?
It was 11am.
I checked the line out and found most of those in line had numbers MUCH higher than 2!

I smiled the smug smile of those who know.
After a wedding party and concierge guests were loaded came the announcement we had been waiting for, “All guests with #s 1 or 2 can now board” (or something like that)
I got out the video camera and we walked under the Mouse Ears and onto Paradise…



Up Next Chapter 2 Why, Yes, You Can Make That a Double, Thank You.

Here's those outfits...

 

[wendygirl]

ugh! your killing me! I am now late, should have been out the door 30 mins ago! But it was worth it!!!! can't wait for the rest!!!!

 

[JDBlair]

Well, it's good I am reading Dog's report or I wouldn't be digging these "inside" jokes!! Love the outfits!! What a good sport you are!

 

[FatherForce]

Well I figure EVERYONE is readings Dog's report.
I'm just getting his spillover.

 

[tjeagle]

Okay, it's official...my DH has read (and I think is hooked) on his first TR!! Keep it coming.....
You had him at the dorky matching outfits (ours is the darker blue tiki version...only agreed to 'cause it'll be my birthday!!)

 

[sleepydog25]

Now, if you’ve been reading Sleepydog’s TR (And I’m sure that you have. He’s a better writer and looks better in toenail polish), you know he did the exact same thing. Here’s where we differ though. I played it off as if it was my plan!
I spoke to a porter and found exactly where the luggage would be loaded in at, moved ours to outside the gate, and had Cheryll and Sam wait with it while I parked the car! They were even happy to do so since it was a nice morning, and they were staring at the ship
Genius!

I take exception at the first statement above. I am not a better writer, just odder. However, I will agree that I look better in toenail polish. And your plan with the luggage further exposes me for the maroon I am. I'm still laughing at that one. . .

 

[JDBlair]

Well I figure EVERYONE is readings Dog's report.
I'm just getting his spillover.

Either way, it's still funny, I get it (the inside jokes) and I like your TR!